Thank you to ASadAir for perfecting this chapter :) Hoping you all are staying safe & are in good health! Thank you for reading as always!
The gilded interior of the tearoom with its mirror-clad walls and opulent lighting does little to soothe Blair's hangover as she is guided by the hostess to meet Marcus. Feeling another pang of regret for scheduling this reunion on a day she would obviously be hungover, Blair lets out a sigh. Her head pulses again in protest with this morning's plans and she spots-checks her reflection in a nearby mirror, only briefly wincing at her undereye circles.
As they approach the reserved table, she discovers that Marcus has arrived politely early and is already occupying one side of the velvet tufted booth. Taking in his appearance, she decides that he looks somehow exactly how she remembered and also like a man she wouldn't recognize. The boyish roundness that had been on his face during adolescence has been replaced with high cheekbones and a strong jawline that softens as she nears.
"Blair," Marcus rises from the booth, leaning forward to kiss her on both cheeks. "You look beautiful."
Blair feels flattered by what has to be a lie. She saw her reflection enough times this morning to know it's really not her day appearance-wise. But her good manners keep her from calling him out so instead, she greets him politely. "Thank you. It's so great to see you. It feels surreal."
She takes her seat across from him and instinctively surveys the menu to distract her wandering mind.
"It really does feel surreal, doesn't it?" His eyes twinkle with amusement. "I have to admit, I think you were always the best memory for me back here. I felt a little underwhelmed when I arrived in the city earlier this week. But now, you're here and it finally feels how I remember it."
Blair smiles nervously, wondering what to say. In the few minutes that have passed, she realized that it's quite possible he's more invested in this reunion than she is. Not once in the past few days has she rehearsed this moment. It's suddenly clear he's been nostalgic for a time in her life that was so engrossed in isolation and despair, that she had to block out most moments, including the good ones.
"So catch me up on the last few years, how is it in Parliament?" She should have Googled British government structure before coming to meet him. Blair feels semi-confident than a Lord is a member of Parliament but she's been far too distracted to be certain.
Instead of preparing for today's meeting, she spent this morning trying desperately to match her recollections of last night to Raina and Epperly's. She hasn't told them about it but she's sure that she and Dan had a flicker of something around midnight. Like an almost kiss? But even with her inconspicuous line of questioning, she only discovered that Raina was too busy kissing Nate to notice and Epperly was so drunk that she blacked out.
The moments before midnight are all that's been replaying in her head and she's not quite sure why she's so captivated with the hazy memory. She's caught herself at least five times imagining what nearly played out. But then she reminds herself that her life is not a move, nor a romantic comedy as Epperly insists, and such cinematic almost-moments never happen in real life.
Blair tunes in halfway through Marcus' explanation and she curses herself for not listening. She nods, hoping it's the right response.
"And you?" Marcus prompts. "How is Yale? I was so pleased for you when I heard you got in."
"It's amazing, it's just like I imagined. I love the campus, my courses, my classmates, and everything really, except for my psychotic roommate…" Blair lets out a breath, deciding not to focus on the negative. "But, back to you, tell me more."
Blair tries to focus on what Marcus is saying as she lets her tea go cold, her jewelry-clad hands swirling the cup endlessly. She finds herself idly wondering what Dan is up to right now and whether they had made plans to meet up again before the drive back to Yale. She can't quite remember if they had discussed that last night.
"Claire?" Just as Blair picks up her dry scone from the plate set in front of her, she hears a voice that causes her to drop it, letting it fall with a hard clank.
"Oh God." Blair can't will herself to turn around.
Marcus is peering around Blair's shoulder, curiously. "Do you know that girl?"
Blair makes herself turn and sees Georgina stomping toward them, a mock cheery smile on her face. She's wearing the most inappropriate outfit for a tearoom, although the studded stilettos and black cutout mini-dress really don't surprise Blair. "It is you! Ha, I should have guessed. Is this Nate? Wait, no, I don't recognize you…"
She's hovering over the table inspecting Marcus with raccoon-eyes before he offers his hand. "Lord Marcus Beaton."
"Lord? Why, how ever so delightful to meet you." Georgina suddenly adopts a tone straight out of Pride & Prejudice and the high and strange octave makes Blair cringe. Without invitation, Georgina comfortably slides into the seat beside Blair, as though they are friends.
"I take it you know, Blair?" Marcus looks to Blair for reassurance.
"Georgina is my roommate." Blair manages and watches as recognition appears on Marcus's face. "What are you doing here, Georgina? Shouldn't you be downing Bloody Mary's and torturing waitstaff at brunch on the Upper East Side? Or like, somewhere far away from here." Blair adds under her breath.
"I was meeting someone, but he's late. So glad you're here, I hate waiting alone." She sighs heavily and then rests her chin on her hand.
A ringing begins from somewhere under the table and Blair prays it's Georgina's poor, unsuspecting date calling her. By the reluctant look on Marcus' face though, she surmises it's his and he has to take it. He mouths an 'I'm sorry' as he steps away, Georgina waving him off. "No worries, I'll keep Blair company."
Georgina's kohl-rimmed eyes are gleaming alarmingly and Blair wishes Dan were here to fend this menace off. He's the only person that seems to know how to disarm her. "Georgina, I really am not sure what you're doing here but if you don't mind, I'd prefer to be left alone."
Georgina smirks, leaning in like she's about to eat her prey. "Does Dan know you're here? Or Nate? How many stepping stones do you have by the way? I'm supposing that's what they are. First the boy with the estranged old-money family, then the boy who married into wealth, and now a British Lord? My, my how you climb, Blair. I would be impressed if I wasn't so fucking dubious." Georgina's tone takes a sudden, bitter tone.
"Listen," She continues. "I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing with Dan but I was always suspicious and now you've just confirmed everything I suspected of you. Stop using him. You're just his latest charity case and he'll be over you faster than he ditched the last penniless princess he dated. By the way, he was just hanging out with her the other day, so I guess you're boring him." She shrugs.
"Anyway, stay the fuck away from Dan. Your small-town act isn't cute and you'll always just be a nobody who for one minute, thought they were somebody. But don't let this blip in your life fool you. Five years from now, you'll be back in Yonkers or whether the hell you came from and this will all feel like a dream as you drive home from your job as an assistant and pick up the kids from daycare... You'll never be one of us."
Blair sits there stupefied and to her own horror, unable to think of one good comeback or defense. It feels like she's in the hallway of her high school all over again, listening to Juliet and Zoe trill, giggling over the fact she thought Damien wanted to date her. In the years that passed, a thousand comebacks came to her mind for that scene. But here she is all over again, rendered mute, and put in her place.
A clattering sound registers and it takes her moment to realize her teacup is shaking in her wavering grip. She sets it down and inhales sharply.
"Fuck you, Georgina." It's all she has time to say before Marcus returns. She pastes on a faux smile. "Georgina was just saying she has to go now, so sorry your date didn't show. Hope he didn't take one look and leave." She keeps her voice low enough that Marcus doesn't notice as he pockets his phone.
Georgina narrows her eyes at Blair and then leans over to kiss Marcus on the cheek. "Charming to meet you, hope I'll see you around."
"Have a lovely day." Marcus says, a little tersely. Once she's gone, he asks Blair. "Was that the mental roommate?"
The question almost makes her laugh, but tears still threaten to spill. She nods. "Yes, she's a nightmare. I think I may use the ladies' room, one moment."
She gets to her feet, unsteady, and rushes off after quickly righting herself. A breath escapes her and she desperately scours the tearoom for the restroom.
Blair doesn't even care if her exit just now was abrupt. She narrowly escaped the table before the first tear fell and by the time she reaches the bathroom now and clicks the door shut, her cheeks are properly dampened. She stares in the mirror, hating her reflection and wishing she never agreed to today. She remembers feeling like a princess back in high school when she was with Marcus, when it felt like a fairytale could come true. But now, as her red-rimmed eyes harshly assess her appearance, she finds every fault that proves she'll always just be what Georgina described.
No, she tries to tell herself, you're so much more. Nate believes in you, Dan believes in you, Raina believes in you… But the words 'charity case' echo in her head and she has to use all her willpower to let those words not drive her back into her old ways of comfort.
Glancing toward the empty row of stalls, she turns away and faces her reflection once more. It's the uncertainty that hurts the most, she decides. Just like with Juliet and Zoe, she has no idea why Georgina carries this vendetta against her. It's like she'll always wear some scarlet letter, invisible to herself, but there for the rest of the world to see her as the prey.
Reaching for a pack of tissues in her purse, Blair sees her phone is lit up with a text.
Hey, how are you feeling? Are we still on for Brooklyn this afternoon?
The text from Dan would normally make her smile but this time, hesitation prevents her from replying. Instead, she takes the tissues and pats her cheeks dry. She reapplies lipstick and dots some on her cheeks to hide their pallor. She tests out a smile, trying to see how likely she is to convince Marcus that she is not totally mid-meltdown.
Blair glances at the door and decides she needs another moment before she can head back out there. She reaches for her phone and summons every ounce of positivity in her veins as she types back:
Sure, 4 PM?
Dan's reply is instant.
Sounds good, I'll meet you at Raina's.
Another glance in the mirror affirms that she looks calmer and like she hasn't just been reamed by the wicked witch of the Upper East Side, so she heads back to the table. She makes it through dessert with Marcus before making her excuses and leaving him to return to his work. She promises him she'll try to keep in touch but it feels like a lie.
When she gets back to Raina's, she finds a note on the counter, Out for lunch with my dad. Help yourself to anything. Xo, R.
Truly alone at last, Blair heads to the guest bedroom, sinks down on the bed, and lets herself cry.
"Is everything okay? Are you hungover? Or tired?" Dan asks with an undercurrent of concern on the subway ride over. It's empty; most New Yorkers still home nursing headaches and exhaustion from last night's festivities. The silent ride makes it even easier for Blair to keep replaying the shame of what Georgina said. "I feel like you haven't been yourself."
Blair detects concern in the warmth of Dan's deep brown eyes and a pang of guilt hits her for making him fret. At the realization, she feels a wave of emotion thinking about how she matters enough for him to be worried.
Willing herself to forget about Georgina's maniacal warnings, she lets out a protracted exhale. "I ran into Georgina when I was out with Marcus."
Dan stops. "Seriously? What was she doing there?"
"She said she was meeting someone, I don't know." Blair sighs. "Instead, she made herself comfortable right next to me, never mind Marcus."
Dan is quiet for a moment. "What did Marcus think? What did she say?"
"He had to take a business call. So it was just the two of us..." Blair hesitates. "She had a lot to say."
"About?" Dan prompts, tentatively.
Blair's heart longs to let the hurt out, to find solace in Dan's empathetic gaze, and to release the seeds of worry Georgina roughly planted. But her head reminds her that she can't truly trust anyone, not even Dan who has never shown her anything but kindness. He is one of them, after all. When all is said and done, these will be the people he returns to.
Besides, she realizes, if she confides in him now she'll almost certainly get teary again. The wounds are too deep, too tied to her outcast adolescence. What he thinks matters so much to her and she's so invested in him seeing her in the best light possible, she couldn't bear his pity. So instead, she forces a smile that conceals her inner shame spiral. "Just her usual unhinged nonsense. You know her."
Dan is quiet, looking briefly unconvinced. For a moment, it seems like he might press the subject further but then the metallic voice of the conductor comes through the speaker announcing that they have arrived at York Street and she steps toward the car doors, leaving the conversation behind in the cold train.
Blair lets her fog of sadness and the feeling of not being enough hang over her as they trek through Brooklyn. A few smiles fight their way through as Dan makes her laugh about how Jenny's favorite neighborhood used to be DUMBO because she thought it was named after the movie. And he even makes her wish that it could always be like this, the two of them, far from Georgina Sparks and the Upper East Side she'll never belong to.
But she knows it's impossible.
Maybe if it weren't for the run-in with Georgina or her deep insecurities with her status and social class, the significance of the day with Dan would instill a sense of trust in Blair; he spent the whole day showing her a special place that defined him. But instead, after only a flicker of recognition that quickly gets replaced by denial, Blair lets herself believe that this lovely afternoon was just a natural part of his charity case routine. As she says goodbye to Dan, she remains unaware of their similarities.