CW: Graphic depiction of pregnancy complications.
The half moon was still high in the night sky when searing pain woke Katara up. Her abdomen cramped so intensely she thought she was going to vomit. Warm liquid was wet on her inner thighs. No, no, no, no - this can't be happening. She was only in the sixth month of her pregnancy. The child wouldn't survive this early. Katara tried to stand, but the blood only flowed more. Her head began to feel cottony.
"Zuko! Ursa!" She yelled in a raspy voice. Her throat was tight, as she tried her best not to be afraid. Fear wouldn't help her in this situation.
"Zuko!" She cried out again hoping he could hear her from his room next door. Another cramp pierced her abdomen as she tried to bend water from the nearby basin. Desperate to try and stop the bleeding.
Her door swung open. Zuko stood in the threshold bare-chested and wearing only loose-fitting pants. His face went ashen as he saw the dark stain of blood on Katara's sheets.
"Get your mom Zuko." Katara barely got out as pain radiated through her stomach. She clutched at her night shift. Tears fell down her chin.
Zuko rushed next door and quickly brought back Ursa. The older woman immediately went to the waterbender's side. She placed a cool hand on Katara's forehead. Though her eyes were squinting through the pain, the waterbender saw Ursa's lips press into a thin line and her eyebrows furrowed.
"Zuko, fill the tub with fresh water." His mother commanded as she gently pulled back the sheet and assessed the waterbender. Zuko ran into Katara's private bath. As the sound of the Fire Lord pumping water could be heard, Ursa asked. "Katara, what else are you feeling?"
"Cramps. Really bad ones." The younger woman croaked out. I'm going to lose the baby. More tears from pain and fear poured down her face.
Ursa cupped Katara's face. "If we put you in the bath will you be able to start the healing process? Or at least stop the bleeding?"
Katara nodded as Zuko came out of the bathroom. Her vision was beginning to go black around the edges. "I can't walk through."
"Zuko…" Ursa started but didn't need to ask her son anything. The firebender bent down and picked Katara up from the bed. His bare chest was so hot against her shivering body, it felt like it was going to burn her. I've lost too much blood.
"It's going to be okay," Zuko murmured as he carried her into the bathroom. Ursa followed closely behind.
Katara was on the cusp of losing consciousness when Zuko lowered her into the black title tub. The warm water engulfed her. Welcomed her. With her last bit of strength, she began bending. The water started to glow. The firebender crouched beside the tub watching Katara's face contorted in concentration and pain.
"I'm going to get a doctor," Ursa whispered to Zuko, squeezing his shoulder. Then she quietly left the room.
Katara stopped the bleeding but felt so weak. Her body slumped into the blood-tinted water and stilled. Is this it? Is this how I die? Is this how the baby dies? The faces of her family passed in her mind. It would be so easy to just slip into death. So easy to see them again.
"Katara, you're so strong. " Zuko whispered. He placed a hand on her cheek and she opened her heavy eyes. His golden irises burned. "You're the strongest person I know. You have to fight."
"I'm so tired." She got out closing her eyes again.
"Please don't leave me." The firebender said, so quietly she almost missed it. Something snapped in her chest. She didn't want to leave him either. She had work to do.
"I need clean water."
Zuko undid the drain and began pumping water from the faucet. As the water became cleaner, it grew easier for Katara to bend the liquid in an attempt to heal herself and the child. She could feel the saturated fabric of her night shift swirl around her as she worked. She probed her body and could feel that something erupted around the child. She set to work mending the rupture. Once mended, her body immediately felt stronger. The heartbeat of the baby was less fragile.
Once done, she opened her eyes again. Zuko kneeled on the floor beside her again. His face stoic watching hers. Behind him, Ursa and a Fire Nation doctor stood.
"I'm okay." She whispered and a soft exhale escaped his lips.
"Master Katara, would it be okay to transfer you back to the bed?" The doctor asked slightly in awe. She must have seen the healing process.
The waterbender nodded and looked at Zuko. He picked her up again. This time his chest wasn't as hot. She could hear his heartbeat pounding against his chest as he carried her to the bed. The white sheets were now clean. A servant must have stealthily changed the linens. As Zuko placed her down, she looked up at his face. It was the last thing she remembered before passing out.
—
The next three days were a blur for Katara. Often in and out of awareness, she only picked up on voices and snippets of conversation.
On Day One: The Fire Nation doctor often came into her room to check her vitals. She rarely talked, but hummed to herself while she worked. At some point in the day, the doctor and Ursa were in the room together.
"She's been working so hard the last few weeks meeting with the Equalists. Do you think it could be exhaustion or over-exertion?" Ursa asked somewhere to the left of the waterbender.
"It could be. The stress she's been under the last six months would be enough to make a healthy person sick. I can't imagine being pregnant as well." Answered the doctor softly, "It would be easier if we could send for a healer from one of the tribes."
There was a pause and Katara felt a hand stroke her hair. "Her condition must remain a secret until things are smoothed out with the Equalists. There is still a…."
Katara slipped out of consciousness and into strange dreams. She found herself in the assembly chamber, but the room no longer held it's usual long rectangular table. There was a light brown, circular table that took its spot instead. It clashed with the decor of dark reds and blacks but felt more comfortable to sit at. To her right sat Zuko, a full smile on his face. To her left sat Aang - his expression also joyful. Around the table sat the representatives of the Fire Nation chapter of Equalists. Asayo sat next to Aang laughing. Not a mocking laugh, but one of joy. Katara felt giddy with understanding and looked down at the table. There was a proposal but she couldn't make the words out. No matter how hard she tried, the writing escaped her - becoming a blob of black and blue ink.
Panic filled her chest, as she came to again. Reality leaked through her half-lidded eyes. Her room was almost dark with the exception of a soft glow from her left. She couldn't turn her head, but she heard the soft rustling of paper.
"I had the meeting with the Equalists today. I kept wishing you were there the entire time." Zuko said in a soft voice, not realizing Katara could hear him. "Asayo sends her regards. I guess the majority of the Equalists local chapter was happy with the bulk of the proposal you presented. Many were especially excited about the idea of a citizen's council." A sigh escaped his lips. "But, the dissenters believe it's too reformist and not radical enough. I don't know…"
She lost consciousness again and only came to as Zuko was leaving. She felt him gently stroke her cheek and he whispered something she couldn't make out.
On Day Two: The doctor and Ursa repeated their routines from the day before. In what felt like the afternoon to Katara, Ursa sat next to the bed and read out loud. The older woman's voice soothed her as she read about some princess from the Fire Nation and a commoner from the Earth Kingdom falling in love. As she reached the climax of the book, Katara heard the door of her room open and someone rushed in.
"Ma'am there's been an attack in the Crescent Islands and the North Tribe…" Katara didn't recognize the voice, and her world turned black before she could hear anymore.
That evening, Zuko visited again. He talked more this time. She caught snippets of,
"Asayo says the Equalists have fractured."
"I wish Uncle was here."
"They were so worried I wouldn't continue talks with them, but why wouldn't I? My people hurt, so I hurt..."
"So many people died … I don't know what to do.." Katara could've sworn she heard tears in Zuko's voice.
At some point, he stroked her cheek like the evening before and whispered what she thought was "I love you." But she wasn't sure.
That night Katara fell into another vivid dream. They were outside - Katara, Zuko, and two small children. The air was fresh smelt of seawater. Green grass and trees with bright red leaves surrounded them.
"Mama!" yelled a boy in laughter. Katara turned her head to see a boy with blue eyes and pale skin that was no more than four or five grinning wildly. "Watch what I can do!"
The child then proceeded to airbend a small ball of air and ride atop it. The young girl that stood beside him shouted "I can do it better!" Her cyan eyes glittered.
Then she also proceeded to bend a smaller ball of air, but struggled to control it. Katara knew it was impossible, but watched as the boy stopped playing around to help show the girl what he did.
"They're good kids," Zuko said as he approached her right and snaked an arm around her shoulders. She leaned in - content. The scene was perfect.
Then something drew her attention to her left.
There stood Aang in front of a small cottage. His face once again joyful and his eyes twinkling. He then said, "This is the answer Katara."
"To what?"
"To bring true balance to the world."
Then he was gone.
On Day Three: Katara was coming too. The doctor was in the room when the waterbender opened her eyes fully for the first time. She was kind but pragmatic with Katara. Forcing her to drink small sips of water, as she told her she would likely need to rest through the remainder of her pregnancy. Tension built in the waterbender's jaw as she clenched her teeth. She wanted to protest, but she had almost lost the child once. She couldn't risk it again, so Katara agreed to 'take it easier.' Once satisfied with her promise, the doctor left and Katara's body felt heavy again. Before she knew it, the waterbender slept once again.
The smell of chicken broth woke her. Pangs of hunger pushed her out of slumber. Katara opened her eyes to Ursa and Kiyi standing next to her bed. The little girl, dressed in a pinkish-red tunic burst into a grin and almost jumped onto the bed to hug Katara.
"Kiyi you must be gentle," Ursa said sternly, as she placed the tray of food on the bedside table and helped Katara to an upright position.
"You can give me a small hug," Katara said, looking at the Kiyi's pouting lips. A grin returned to her face and she very carefully placed her arms around the waterbender's neck.
"I missed you!" the girl said breaking the hug and hopping off the bed.
"You too." The waterbender said as her stomach growled in anticipation for food.
Ursa moved the tray to her lap avoiding her expanding stomach. "Please go slowly. You don't want to make yourself sick."
Katara nodded trying to exercise some self-control. As she ate the yellow broth, Kiyi played with a doll in the corner and Ursa filled her in on the palace and world news.
After a few minutes, Katara scraped the bottom of the bowl with her spoon and looked at Ursa. "Thank you for everything and thank you for reading to me while I was unresponsive."
"Oh, you heard that?" Ursa said, looking a bit surprised. A slight hint of pink brushed her cheeks.
"I was in and out a lot of the time. What was the title?"
"'Love Stories from Ba Sing Se.'"
"May I borrow it as I recover?"
A smile broke across Ursa's face. "Of course! It's one of my favorites." She then proceeded to fish out the book from her robe sleeve. Then she placed it on the bedside table, so the golden calligraphy of the title shone in the afternoon light.
"Thank you," Katara said, running her fingers over the worn cover. "By the way, could you let Zuko know I want to talk with him?"
"He's in a meeting now, but after I will."
"Perfect."
They then spent the rest of the afternoon trading amusing stories - until Katara found herself dozing back to sleep.
—-
The next time Katara awoke it was nighttime and Zuko was next to her bed reading through papers. His face lit up by a lone orange lantern. The red of his scar appeared to glow in the tinted light. His black hair was free of his top knot and fell into his handsome face. As the waterbender watched him, a flutter ran through her stomach as she remembered her dream. There was still a slight pang of guilt for the affection she felt towards her Zuko. Six months for the murder of Aang seemed like too little time. She worried that she would dishonor the memory of him. Yet, her guilt decreased little by little everyday.
"Zuko…" Katara said quietly as she attempted to sit up. Zuko looked up from his parchment and immediately came to her aid. His warm hands guiding her upright. Katara caught his eyes ringed in dark circles, "Are you okay?"
"I should be asking you that." He chuckled but his voice was thick with emotion. Katara took his hand in her own, surprising herself and him. However, there was an urge in her chest to be close to him. He gently squeezed her hand and instead of returning to her chair, kneeled to the ground beside her bed - his head slightly bowed. For the first time in many years, he looked small and defeated. Katara's heart ached.
"Zuko, please tell me what's wrong." She said softly. Her free hand rested on his bowed head and she lightly stroked his soft, black hair. The lantern's light ebbed and waned as he took multiple steadying breaths. His back muscles expanded the red cloth of his robe with each inhale. "I heard small snippets of what you said over the last two days."
Her friend looked up at her. Then in a split moment any vulnerability that was there was gone under the cool mask of the Fire Lord. He sat back in the chair, but kept holding Katara's hand.
"I'm sorry about that," Zuko started, rubbing a small circle on Katara's palm with this thumb. His face stoic. "So much has happened over the last few days. I don't want to belittle you, but are you sure you're feeling well enough to hear everything? I just… I can't risk losing you again."
"I'm okay Zuko. Please tell me what's happening. I'm just going to sit here and stew anxiously if I don't know."
Zuko nodded then launched into a recounting of the events over the last few days. He told her about the meetings he had with the Equalists members of the Fire Nation chapter. How Asayo and the majority were excited to accept the joint proposal of a citizen's council, but how a sizable minority hated the idea. There was a schism in the movement that had grown worse both domestically and internationally. Then there were the attacks on the outlying islands of the Fire Nation and the Northern Tribe. Despite all logic, the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes blamed Zuko for the attacks. They stated he was negotiating with terrorists and inflaming the situation.
"It's not your fault though!" Katara exclaimed. Her cheeks began to burn with anger. "If anything, by trying to broker peace, we've found out our suspicions about their motivation was correct and we've discovered how widespread the movement is among the nations! We shared all this information with the other governments and our path to peace!"
"It's not enough though, and now there's an ongoing threat to my people," Zuko said, his eyebrows pulled together. "Innocent people are dying because I won't step down or I'm not doing enough. We've put all military forces on high alert, but now we're showing aggression we were trying to avoid."
It could have been her fatigue, but the situation felt impossible to Katara. Every solution she thought of would anger someone, so she remained silent. Zuko's stoic mask began to slip. He looked exhausted. He added, " It seemed so easy during the war. The villain was my father and sister, but now it's what? An ever shifting group of people that are faceless and nameless? I just wish you were with me during those meetings. You always have a clear perspective."
"You give me too much credit. Besides I have no ideas right now." Katara said quietly.
Zuko shook his head. "We don't give you enough credit." Warmth bloomed in the waterbender's chest. Her friend then took her hand into both of his and leaned into her. His stony mask had completely fallen off, and he said quietly, "I was so worried I was going to lose you."
"But you didn't, because you and your mother acted quickly." Katara's pulse quickened looking at Zuko. The sensation of his hands around her's was almost all consuming. She felt like a teenager again, despite the large baby bump. "Thank you for taking care of me. I'm sorry you had to see me like that… so weak."
His fingers trailed the side of her face, and the memory of his hands brushing her face and whispering to her before he left in the evenings flashed across her mind. "You're not weak, Katara."
She leaned into the touch as a pang hit her chest. She had been horribly infatuated with Zuko since the trip they had taken to hunt down her mother's killer, so many years ago. The feeling hadn't ever truly subsided. There were always the momentary thoughts about the firebender anytime they were in the same room. However, that affection morphed into the close friendship they shared as adults. How much she had leaned on him for advice and support. The inappropriate repressed thoughts. The ones she had been ashamed for thinking she had emotionally cheated on Aang. The long internal conversations she had with herself about if it was possible to love two people at once. Because she did love Aang, but they always felt slightly out of sync. Not completely equal partners. With Zuko, during their decade-long friendship she never felt belittled.
"Zuko, when you left in the evenings, I heard you say something." She admitted looking down at her pregnant stomach. There were so many conflicting emotions stewed in her chest. "What was it?"
Zuko's mouth parted and his eyes were slightly glassy. She covered his warm hand on her cheek with her own, and he closed his eyes. "I love you. I said… I love you."
A breath caught in Katara's throat and she squeezed his hand.
"Zuko, I can't promise you anything right now. After everything, I still need more time to process. But please know, I've felt the same for a long time as well."
Zuko interlaced his fingers with hers and smiled. "I can wait as long as you need."