Hope you enjoy it. I can see you are from different parts of the world, which is quite amazing. I only wish I knew what you think about my story. Please. Just some words. Anything. What you like. what you dislike. I only want an opinion. Otherwise I will consider my story is not worth your time.

The moment of truth

He felt the burden of his destiny. Camlann was close and Mordred…well, that was his fundamental question. Merlin couldn't understand how the future was going to unfold. He started to spy every of the young knight's actions and words. Yet he feared it wasn't enough. He hated when Arthur gave him chores that prevent him from keeping an eye on Mordred.

It had been a day since he had heard the prophecy, but the words still echoed in his ears. He hadn't slept a moment. He couldn't have. The warlock had spent the time among spell books. He couldn't believe how many books had been saved from the purge and they were actually hidden in the castle's library. He managed to learn some new spell, yet the answers to his question were still hidden to the warlock.

It was early in the morning and Merlin felt like having a walk in the forest. He needed some time with himself, but as he was getting out of the castle he heard a familiar voice. It was Mordred.

"I'm not going to ask you where you are going. I guess you know better than me what you should do, but be careful, Merlin. It's dangerous." Mordred warned him. Merlin put a friendly smile on his face as he asked if he wanted to join him.

"I'm only gathering some herbs for Gaius. You don't need to worry for me." Merlin hadn't intended to invite him, but he was glad that he had. The knight accepted his invitation. However, he was a bit surprised as Merlin had never wanted to spend some time with him. The young man hoped that maybe he had gained his trust.

Mordred kept asking him different things, but the warlock was too wrapped in his thoughts to answer. Soon, Mordred gave up and walk silently next to Merlin. Suddenly Merlin stopped.

"Thank you for yesterday." Merlin broke the ice. Mordred wanted to answer, but Merlin went on. "You don't understand me. I don't blame you, though. Sometimes I not even understand myself." The warlock stated. "There are moments when I wished I were an ordinary boy. Moments when I feel this destiny is too much for me."

"But you're handling great" The knight tried to encourage him.

"If only you could see what lies beneath that smile. I don't know who to trust and who to suspect. For me everyone is a possible enemy. And it is just so tiring. Sometimes I wish nothing but to sleep. To sleep an endless sleep and care nothing about what is happening in the world. Nothing about what is going to happen…"

"You can…" Mordred wanted to add "me", but the warlock cut him before the knight could say more.

"No, I can't and I know it's not your fault"

"Look I know that you are worried about my magic and…"

"It's not your magic" Merlin stated. "And it doesn't have anything with the past. I don't hate you because you have done something. I hate you for something you are destined to do…and I can't help thinking that my life would be much easier if you were dead." The knight stepped back a pace at loss how to take the words and a curious discomfort began to steal over him as the air grew cold…

"So, you want me dead…you wanted that all along…" The knight sputtered.

"Sometimes I wonder if it were better should you know. My words are cruel. I know, but I've never been more honest in my life. You don't know what you are going to do and that makes you dangerous. Actually, I wish I didn't know either. Then we would have been friends..good friends, indeed." Upon saying that, Merlin took a glance upon Mordred. He was afraid. "But every time I close my eyes I see nothing but the future. I hear nothing but the prophecy and the warning of the dragon. It was a time when I wasn't like that. I used to believe in people, but she took that from me. She taught me what hatred could do to a kind heart." It wasn't necessary to explain who she was; Murdered knew instantly that Merlin was speaking about Morgana.

"But" he stammered "it doesn't mean all people will betray you, does it? I know you two were close, but…"

"It's not only about her, it's also about me. I've changed; Murdered and it scared me how much. There is darkness in my heart. My friends make me forget about it, but I fear what would happen should I lost the last bit of love"

"You won't you have a good heart…you're the strongest person I have ever met. Please, trust me. I will do my best to avoid whatever they said about me. Do you really think that I will ever hurt Arthur or, who knows, destroy Camelot?"

"That's the problem. I've seen only a part of the future, the rest is hidden to me and honestly I don't want to know more. I've tried to change the future before and I ended in causing it to unfold. Maybe, right now, by telling you this, I'm helping it to unfold."

"No, I understand. I'm grateful you're honest with me even if your words are cruel, indeed. But you are wise enough" he wanted to add "to want me dead", but he couldn't. Merlin read his mind, though.

"I've tried before, but I've never got the courage to it myself. You were just a child and you made me doubt me decision so many times. I could have healed you when you were wounded by the Desir, but I didn't want to try. They healed you because Arthur refused to listen to them. Honestly, I didn't agree with their plan for forcing Arthur to bring magic back. That should have come from Arthur..because he wanted it not because he was forced to do it. But they are unmerciful and you are their weapon, you're their revenge and I fear it is not in your power to change that."

It was painful. He was afraid. Deep down he pitied Merlin, but he couldn't let him see. The knight even doubted his own power of controlling his life. However, he wanted to fight.

"Maybe" the knight said "if we work together, we will be able to prevent it. I don't want it more than you do. Maybe, futures could be changed. Maybe, they will understand that they were wrong about Arthur."

"What if they are not wrong?" Merlin enquired from the blue.

"You doubt him?"

"Don't you?" Mordred did not answer. "What if Arthur will do something very stupid like punishing you for your magic, will you still forgive him?" Mordred was still unable to continue. "Are you aware I could kill you? Merlin asked sharply.

"What will you do, should that will happen to you, Merlin?"

"I will embrace death happily. At least, I will not have to lie anymore." Merlin answered with indifference.

"So, you think he will kill you."

"There was a time when I thought he would accept me. Now, I fear what will happen…death is the easiest punishment for me. What I fear is my friends' reactions. Will I be hated? Will they treat me like a monster?...That's the problem, Mordred. I can't guarantee that Arthur will accept us. Yet I can't blame him. He is a great person and a good king…but some prejudices can't just be destroyed overnight."

"I don't think he will ever hurt you…no matter what. I want to believe he won't hurt me either. …"

"I can't promise anything. However, we can't go on like that… we should find a way to show the world that it is not magic that is the problem but the way it is used. We should find a way to make everyone feel safe in Camelot. You, Mordred, are just the weapon. It is Arthur who will cause his own bane, I fear. If it is so, removing the weapon is not the solution. It may buy time, but eventually a new weapon will arise."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Ordinary people love the king. Other kings envy him. The warlords admire his skills…It's only the magic creatures that really feared him….. What if we are going in the wrong direction?" Mordred watched him confused, but he let him continue. "Even if, let's say Arthur accept magic, the country has suffered too much because of it to be able to forget and forgive. Forcing Camelot to accept it will only make the things worse. However, the pressure any magic creature has to endure in Camelot is just too high to be able to control it. Eventually it will blow everything away."

"Right." Mordred exclaimed unable to follow his idea.

"What if the problem is not the people from Camelot, but the pressure we are forced to endure everyday?... We have to remove that pressure"

"How?"

"Finding a place where they could be free. Until the people will be ready to accept us, we have to find a place for us. If their kids weren't to suppress their magic; if Camelot's executions were just a story told by their parents and grandparents; if they were to be taught how to use magic, they wouldn't be a danger for ordinary people. "

"You suggest that we should leave Camelot?! Give up, just like that."

"I suggest that we should give up trying to live up to someone else's expectations and live our own lives. Live just the way we like."

"What about Arthur?" Mordred enquired. "Are you going to abandon him?"

"I've made a promise to him and I'm going to keep it. I will be on his side no matter what. However, it will be much easier if I knew that being on his side does not imply going against my own believes. If Camelot will stop being inhabited by magic creatures, then hardly will someone break Arthur's ban against magic, at least not someone with good intentions. This way I will be able to enjoy the best of both words."

"Sounds perfect, although I wish they were part of this world, too." Mordred said melancholically.

"We will still be able to visit them, won't we? Are you going to help me, then?" Mordred smiled.

"I….of course, but are you really trusting me to help you?"

"If this goes well, I can't see why I couldn't trust you."

"Thank you, Merlin."

"I'm not doing that for you." He admitted.

"Still thank you. I won't disappoint you."