She sat on a bench in the garden, her eyes closed and head leaned back as she took in the warmth of the sunlight. They had been at the bed and breakfast for a week, and even though she knew they would have to move on soon, she rather enjoyed the location. Springtime was just around the corner, and flowers were already beginning to blossom in the garden.

Her mind wandered very often to the man who had attacked her. Why did he feel the need to do that? What was his name? Did he have a family?...was he still alive? She felt so much guilt in her soul that she may have killed him. She had truly stabbed him very viciously, and she had meant to do so with her whole heart at the time. It made her feel sick to think she may have caused him harm, no matter what he intended to do to her.

And then the sheer violence of his actions. She was reminded very much of her uncle growing up, except there was never a sexual threat from her uncle. It was new yet familiar territory for her all at the same time, and she wasn't sure what she was supposed to think or feel or say. Her blood boiled sometimes, and then other times she simply wanted to cry at feeling so vulnerable and weak.

Georg came to sit next to her on the bench, having just come from playing a game with the children. He could tell she was in deep thought, so he didn't speak. He took her hand in his as they watched a couple of birds land on the edge of a birdbath a short distance away.

"I'm sorry I've been so moody." He smiled and brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it.

"It's obvious what you have on your mind. You have reason to be tense."

"Not toward you and the children."

"You've only taken it out on me, if it makes you feel better. And I did benefit from your bathroom antics the other day." She chuckled, knowing he was trying his best to make a joke. "In all honesty, I've been overwhelmed with guilt that I didn't get to you sooner that day. I'm supposed to protect you, and I couldn't..."

"Georg, there was no way you could've known." She turned and placed a kiss upon his cheek. "You can't blame yourself for things that are out of your control."

"And you?"

"The only thing I blame myself for is not recognizing the threat sooner. And the fact that the girls saw...everything. You say you're supposed to protect me; I was supposed to protect them, and I failed." She sighed, wishing even then that she could have gone back in time and simply asked the younger girls to stay closer to her, rather than letting them run off.

"They are afraid to talk to you about it."

"I know; all of them are. I must have looked terrifying to them that day." She looked down, doing her best not to cry. She knew she needed to talk about everything that had been plaguing her mind, but it was difficult to put her feelings into words. "The girls told you details?"

"Yes."

"Are they alright?"

"They will be once they're certain that you will be. Liesl and Louisa made Gretl and Marta cover their ears and held them close so they couldn't see what happened." A tear fell down her cheek, and she hurried to wipe it away. "You know how Brigitta is with details. I'm afraid she's the one who described some things very vividly to me."

"I shall talk to her first then." She sniffled, wiping her eyes again.

"Why don't you talk to me first? You need to sort out your head." She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. He was right.

"You know, he really would have had his way with me. He nearly did." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his side, where she allowed her tears to flow more freely. "I fought so hard, but I felt weak and helpless. No matter what I did, he wouldn't let up."

"The girls told me they had never seen someone fight so bravely." She scoffed, wishing it felt true.

"I don't feel very brave, Georg. I feel empty and angry...I feel hatred. And I don't want to feel any of these things because I know God would want me to forgive that man." She gave a frustrated sigh, trying to compose her shaky voice. "I don't even know his name or anything about him. I don't even know..."

"What don't you know, darling?" He urged her on when she didn't continue, hoping to provide the encouragement she needed.

"Did I kill him?" Georg stiffened beneath her, unaware that her thoughts were quite that dark. He held her closer, placing a kiss atop her head.

"It would be easy to lie to you, Maria, but I don't know the answer to that. I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"He had men with him who could have tended to him. And the knife wasn't very large. If anything, he'll probably have a nasty scar and a lot of shoulder trouble in his future."

"I can still feel the way the knife went in. It hit something hard, maybe a bone, I don't know. I can't stop thinking about that feeling. It makes me feel sick." He moved so he could look into her eyes, his fingers beneath her chin so she would look at him.

"Listen to me. Everything you did was to defend yourself from a monster. Things you wouldn't normally condone are okay when you're in that situation. You did nothing wrong, and you are not to blame for one damn thing. Do you understand?" She nodded, tears falling down her cheeks as if they were an open faucet.

"Will you hold me for a while?" He pulled her close without another thought, wrapping her tightly in his arms and rubbing her back. And with that began her first steps toward healing.