I can't believe I went more than a month without posting again. I'm so sorry about it and I would really like to blame it all on writer's block (and most of it was because of it), but I have to put some of the blame on myself for procrastinating a ton. I've given myself a more reasonable deadline so hopefully I should be posting more often. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or the song used in this chapter, all credits go to Suzanne Collins.
"Bye Daddy!" I yelled down the street to my father who was on his way to work.
"Bye Prim!" He called back with a smile.
My sister Katniss stiffened up next to me before she sprinted to our father. She ran right into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. I ran after her as fast as my little legs would take me and when I reached them I heard Katniss begging our dad not to go to work.
"Can't you just stay home with us?" She asked quietly.
"I'm sorry Kat, I have to go. I'll be back around supper," He promised.
She buried her head back into our father's stomach. My father looked at me over my sister's head and gave me a small smile before motioning for me to go back home. I smiled back at him and then turned and ran back to my mother who was standing on the porch, watching us.
"Is Katniss okay?" I asked her while trying to catch my breath.
"You know her, she's just scared of the mines. She doesn't want your dad going in them," She said with a reassuring smile.
"Why is she scared of the mines?"
"Because there have been some accidents down there and all she wants is for your dad to be safe," She answered while gently grabbing my hand.
"Well, will he be okay down there?" I asked her worriedly.
"Stop worrying Prim, he will be just fine," She said.
If only what she'd said was true.
All of a sudden I was sitting in the square where everyone around me was wearing black. On one side of me, my mother sat frozen in her seat and on the other of me sat my sister who grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. Katniss was called to the stage and I got up to go with her but she gently pushed me back down in my seat and said, "Stay here, Little Duck. I'll be back."
I sat down although I didn't want Katniss leaving my side, even if it was only for a minute. I watched her the whole time she was on the stage with wide eyes, worried that if I even blinked she would be taken away from me. She climbed the stairs and walked over to the mayor who gave her a medal of valor in honor of our father.
Then she sat back down sadly and grabbed my hand again. The rest of the ceremony went by slowly and by the end almost everyone was crying. We were the only family not crying. My mother, so upset that she couldn't get out of her own head enough to even let out a single tear. I barely even understood what was going on enough to be upset. And my sister was being strong, keeping all her emotions inside because she knew that was what she needed to do.
That night while my sister and I were lying in bed I decided to try and figure out what actually happened to our father because everyone seemed to be unable to answer my questions.
"What happened to Daddy?"
Katniss looked at me sadly and said, "He was blown up in the mines."
"So he's not coming home?"
"No."
That was the moment when it really started to sink in. My dad was dead. He was gone. He was never coming back. For some reason I had naively thought that maybe my dad was actually okay because they said they hadn't found his body, but now that the words were coming out of Katniss's mouth, all my hopes were crushed because I knew she'd never lie to me.
I had burst into tears and my sister tried shushing me but the tears wouldn't stop. She began to get desperate as I started to wail loudly so she used the only method she knew to get me to stop. She sang.
She sang me an old lullaby that our father would sing to us as kids when we wouldn't fall asleep.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise."
My tears slowed but didn't stop.
"Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you."
The tears stopped and I curled up into my sister's side as she gently rubbed my back.
"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray,
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you."
I let the darkness take over me as my sister sang the last verse.
Suddenly I was laying in bed again but without Katniss. I got out of bed and walked into the main room where there was no sign of Katniss. When I looked outside to see if she was on the porch I found her sitting in the mud underneath a tree. She was clutching a picture frame that I assumed was a picture of our father, and was sobbing as the rain beat down on her back. I quietly opened the door and sneaked out onto the porch.
She didn't seem to notice me as I took a seat on the rickety porch chair. From my spot on the porch I could hear Katniss yelling things into the rain.
"Why'd you leave me Dad? I can't take care of them by myself, I'm not strong enough!" She exclaimed helplessly.
When there was no answer she went back to crying into the picture frame.
I desperately wanted to go over and comfort her like she comforted me but I decided against it because I wanted to let Katniss have this moment of weakness. Because I knew that afterwards, she would have to be strong in order to take care of us all.
I silently slipped back inside and went back to sleep.
...
This time I wake up for real, but I immediately want to fall back asleep. It may have been a sad dream, but at least I still had my sister.
I roll over on my side to face the side where Katniss would normally be sleeping. I grab her pillow and hold it close to me as I let the events of my dream run through my head. It's not so much a dream, it's a memory. That was the worst moment of my life and I always seem to relive it when my life is terrible, like now.
Usually I'm able to put a positive twist on anything but today I can't think of anything. My sister is still in the Hunger Games. My mother's demons are back. And my best friend is upset with me.
I curl up and let the despair take me over. I think of how nice it would be to be like my mother and not have to deal with anything happening outside of my own head. I can't help but think that it would be so much easier.
After lying in bed for a while I make myself get out of bed in order to check on Katniss. She is probably the only reason I'm not like my mother at this point. I walk into the living room and grab Buttercup who has jumped onto the armrest of the couch. I sit cross legged on the couch and Buttercup curls up in between my legs.
As soon as I turn on the television I hear the boom of the cannon. I worry for a second that it was Katniss but they show the District 10 male being killed by the Careers.
His death is very upsetting because the odds were obviously not in his favor. He was digging in a bush for some berries when the Careers came on either side of him and trapped him. He seemed to know that he had no chance of escaping due to his bad foot and so he raised his hands up and surrendered right before the Clove's knife embedded itself in his chest. The most disturbing part was the Careers cheering as if they just won a game at school. It's sick.
I continue petting Buttercup as the camera focuses back on Katniss and Rue. Katniss looks like she just got up. Probably due to the cannon. Meanwhile, Rue is perched on a branch across from Katniss, cupping two eggs in her hands.
After eating the eggs for breakfast they begin to split their stuff in half so each of them have the same amount of food and supplies. As they pack they start coming up with a plan to get on a more even playing field as the Careers. Katniss reasons that the only way the Careers are still very strong this late into the Games is because they don't have to worry about food and supplies like the other tributes do. Because they got most of the supplies from the Cornucopia at the beginning they haven't had to worry about not having anything the entire time, but Katniss is planning to change that.
The plan is that Katniss is going to go to the Careers supplies and get rid of them and while Katniss does that, Rue will light three different fires to draw the Careers attention away from the supplies.
After all the supplies are split into the two separate bags Rue brings up the question on how Katniss will get rid of the supplies.
"Burn it. Dump it in the lake. Soak it in fuel," She says while poking Rue in the belly like she would always do with me.
I feel a pang of longing as I watch Katniss goof off with Rue. I really miss her.
Buttercup seems to notice I'm upset and mews softly. I run my hand through his muddy coat and try to keep my mind off how much I miss my sister.
She and Rue both get up and set off to the place where Rue will light the first fire.
Before they part, Rue teaches Katniss a four note whistle to signal that she is okay. She demonstrates it by whistling it then some of the birds in the trees surrounding them repeat the tune back. Mockingjays.
I smile to myself. Mockingjays were a favorite of my father's because they could repeat back any melody he threw at them. He was an amazing singer and every time he sang, the birds stopped mid-note just to listen.
The origin story of mockingjays is a pretty interesting one to me. It started during the Dark Days when the Capitol designed a type of bird that could memorize full conversations and repeat them back. These birds were called jabberjays. The Capitol used them in the war in order to spy on the rebels but once the rebels figured out their trick, they began to feed the birds lies.
The Capitol was furious and let the birds free in thinking they'd go die off in the woods, but they didn't. Instead the male jabberjays mated with female mockingbirds and it resulted in mockingjays which can't repeat back words but can repeat beautiful melodies.
"I love mockingjays," Rue says happily, "Back home I have a few who are my special friends."
"You have mockingjays in 11?" Katniss asks.
"Oh, yes. They're my favorite. It's why I like your pin."
I look down at Katniss's jacket and sure enough see a little golden mockingjay. It's beautiful. I'm pretty sure I've seen Madge wearing the same one which would make sense because she probably gave it to Katniss after the reaping.
Katniss looks down like she forgot about it then unclasps it and holds it out to Rue. "Here, you take it. It has more meaning for you than me."
"Oh no," Rue says, pushing Katniss's hand back. "I like to see it on you. That's how I decided I could trust you. Besides, I have this." She grabs a necklace woven out of some grass from under her shirt and on it hangs a carved wooden star. Or a flower. I'm not really sure. "It's a good luck charm."
"Well it's worked so far," Katniss says as she pins the mockingjay back on her shirt.
As they walk I can't help but worry about their safety. What if the Careers don't fall for their trick and find Katniss and kill her? What if Rue isn't fast enough and the Careers catch her?
My worries seem to grow when Rue and Katniss finally reach the spot and Rue seems to be as worried as I am, maybe even more. She suddenly envelopes Katniss in a hug.
"Please be safe," she whispers into Katniss's chest.
"Always," Katniss replies with a small smile.
After saying their goodbyes, Katniss leaves to go to the Cornucopia. Rue stands watches Katniss until she can't see her anymore, before lighting the first fire. Meanwhile, Katniss heads for Rue's little spy spot that Rue had told her about earlier.
As she walks I check the time and see that it's already after ten. Well I guess I'm skipping school again.
After remembering that I need to be productive today, I reluctantly tear my eyes away from the screen and turn on the channel with Caesar Flickerman's commentary on the Games. I usually turn on this channel when I'm working away from the television so then I still know what's happening without having to watch it.
First I milk Lady which always relaxes me so it should be really helpful right about now. She bleats at me happily when I enter her small pen and I can't help but smile at her.
"Hey girl," I tell her softly as I rub her head.
She bleats back at me as I grab the metal bucket from the hook on the side of the wooden pen and as I milk her I tell her about my problems because she is the only living thing that I'm able to discuss it with and not have to worry about burdening with my problems.
"I really miss Katniss," I tell her wistfully. "And sometimes it's just so overwhelming where I can't think about anything but the fact that she's a thousand miles away from me."
Lady bleats sadly and I pet her gently.
"I know, girl." I tell her. "And it's agonizing having to watch her fight for her life while I'm here, unable to help do anything but watch her on the television."
"And to add on top of that, I really messed things up with Rory," I say sadly. "I don't even know why I said those things to him. I mean I said it would be for the best but I can't help but think that maybe if I just told him what I actually feel, we would both feel less miserable."
"Maybe I should talk to him," I say without thinking.
Lady bleats at me and I take it as an agreement.
"But what if he hates me now? I mean I did mess things up really badly, but he's a very nice guy, he would still talk to me, right?"
She looks at me blankly.
"Or maybe I shouldn't," I say dejectedly.
Lady bumps her head against my shoulder softly.
"And I just feel so selfish complaining about relationship problems while Katniss's life is in jeopardy," I tell her guiltily and she answers by licking my cheek affectionately.
"Thank you, girl," I whisper and then stop talking for a little while and just let myself relish the peacefulness that I feel after sharing my problems.
It's late afternoon when I finally go back inside because after milking Lady I sat on the porch chair and promptly fell asleep. My stomach is growling and I can bet my mother's is too. I go into the kitchen and grab a small block of goat cheese and split it in half. Then I grab two plates and bring one to my mother who has moved from her bed to her chair in the living room. She doesn't even acknowledge me as I set a plate on her lap.
"Hey mom, you have to eat this," I tell her softly.
She looks at me then slowly grabs the small piece of cheese off her plate and takes a bite. She mouths 'thank you' at me and I smile and tell her "you're welcome".
After grabbing my plate from the kitchen, I sit down on the couch and let Buttercup curl up next to me. I grab the remote and turn the channel back to the Games because Caesar Flickerman's voice is starting to get on my nerves.
As soon as I change the channel I find Katniss pointing an arrow at the Careers supplies and I barely have any time to wonder what she's doing before everything explodes.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! A HUGE thank you to everyone who has read, followed, added this to their favorites, and reviewed! I love ya'll so much! Stay safe and healthy! :)