Three Little Lovebirds

Chapter 2 – Sweet Dreams & Nightmares

Dr. Liara T'soni thumbed the 'coffee' icon on the auto-dispenser. Within a few seconds, a disposable cup was delivered into her eager hands. She'd been wanting to try the concoction ever since hearing rumours of its stimulating powers. Now that there was finally a lull of activity and the mess was deserted, it seemed an appropriate time to try and familiarise herself with the human palette.

From the brief conversation she'd been able to snatch with Shepard, it sounded like they wanted her in for the duration. At first, the thought had been incredibly daunting. The ship was so confined, everywhere you went there were people bustling about on some urgent errand. It was precisely the kind of setting that made Liara uncomfortable, being expected to socialise and make new friends. Eventually though, her curiosity about human culture had overcome her anxiety.

Lifting the cup to her azure lips, she tentatively sipped at the creamy brown mixture. The intense temperature made her yelp, and she just managed to stop the coffee spilling all over the deck. Nibbling at her tongue to sooth the scalded taste-buds, Liara concluded it was best to wait until the drink had cooled slightly. The flavour she was able to discern was not unpleasant either, a little bit bitter for her taste, but not bad.

Rounding the bulkhead to the dining area, she realised that the mess wasn't actually deserted after all. Commander Shepard sat in the chair nearest the Medbay. She was slumped on the table, her golden hair fanned untidily across her arms which she used for a pillow. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically; she was evidently fast asleep.

Usually Liara would sit as far from anyone else as she could, but this time was different. The sleeping figure of Shepard…intrigued her. There was something mysterious and powerful hidden behind her kindly smile. Liara had sensed great unexplored depths when the Commander's spirit had brushed hers at the dig. It was enough to make the Asari actively seek her company, even if she was sleeping.

The doctor sat down opposite Lucy, carefully inching into her seat so as not to cause excessive noise. The ship was quiet, save for the faint sounds of medical equipment emanating from behind closed doors. Liara did not know the Quarian, but her wounds had seemed to physically hurt Shepard as if they had been her own. The Asari hoped that Tali would be alright. After all, she'd been injured whilst rescuing her.

Doctor Chakwas had informed everyone a few hours before that they had stabilized the young engineer and that her wounds were not fatal. Everyone had let out a relieved sigh and Commander Shepard had actually hugged the medical officer, much to everyone's surprise. Liara had felt moved by the obvious affection the whole crew had for the young girl, despite the fact she was not one of their own. It gave the scientist hope that she too may be accepted with time.

Liara sipped her coffee and thought about the woman in front of her. She traced the contours of Lucy's face with her crystal blue eyes. The spectre was strikingly beautiful, with her high cheek bones, dainty button nose and rich, slightly pursed lips. Her golden locks framed her face perfectly, even when disarranged from the day's traumatic events. Liara's gaze wandered to Shepard's bandaged shoulder, a testament to her selfless act. The Asari smiled, happy that Lucy could forget her hurt in the blissful calm of sleep. The spectre's expression, so recently furrowed with worry and fear, was now one of contentedness. Her mouth twitched in a faint smile that reminded Liara of the strong woman she'd seen earlier, fighting to save all their lives.

"Would she have been so generous had it been me who was hurt?" the doctor wondered aloud, before realising what she was doing.

"Yes…I would." Lucy murmured, her eyelids fluttering sleepily as she awoke.

"Oh Shepard…I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…I'll leave you in peace." Liara stammered as she quickly rose to go. Perhaps she could flush herself out the airlock before she did anything else stupid.

A hand gently gripped her arm as she tried to leave.

"Don't go." Lucy said quietly "I was hoping we'd get a chance to talk."

Liara turned back and nervously resumed her place opposite the spectre. She fidgeted with her fingers and avoided holding Lucy's gaze for long; she didn't want the Commander to think she was staring. Now that she actually had the chance to talk personally, it scared her. What would she say? Would the Commander think her boring…or childish…or too awkward? Nerves threatened to overwhelm the poor girl, but she managed to force them down into a dark corner of her mind. No doubt they'd explode out again later, but that would hopefully be in private.

"I'm gonna get some more coffee. You want some?" the spectre asked, waggling her own empty cup. Liara nodded, and downed the last dregs of her own. The intense taste of the residual sediment made her gag and she had to hold in the urge to spit the disgusting liquid all over the table. Note to self: don't ever, ever do that again

The spectre returned a minute later with two more scalding brews. She handed one to Liara, noticing the completely empty cup and the slight hue of her cheeks. Lucy chuckled on the inside, but resisted the impulse to good-naturedly tease the poor woman. She got the feeling the scientist wasn't too used to human vernacular.

As if reading her mind, the Asari began to express her fears.

"I…I'm not really used to dealing with your race Shepard." Liara was trying to articulate, "I know very little about your ways or your culture. I just…just wanted to ask you to excuse me if I accidentally say anything offensive or embarrassing."

"Of course," the spectre replied, laying a reassuring hand on the young maiden's shoulder, "I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, what with the Geth and Benezia and…everything."

"I still cannot comprehend what you have told me about her." Liara said, her eyes falling to stare at her drink. "Of course I believe you…I just cannot imagine what could have made her so...twisted."

"Do you…want to talk about it?" Lucy asked, leaning forward and continuing to softly squeeze the Asari's shoulder. Liara looked up and couldn't help but smile, the spectre seemed so understanding.

"Your concern means a lot to me Shepard," she said, risking a glance into the other woman's emerald eyes. "I am fine though…I have not spoken with Benezia in years."

The two drank for a short while in silence. Liara observed how Lucy kept glancing at the Medbay door, concern written all over her face. The Asari knew she should say something comforting, just as Shepard had said to her. She struggled to find the words, unsure of how best to alleviate the spectre's guilt.

"I am sure she is fine," Liara began, before pausing to reconsider. That was when she noticed how watery Lucy's eyes were. The spectre was trying to hide it, but the tears were on the verge of spilling over down her rosy cheeks. Liara was completely out of her depth, she didn't know whether to leave Shepard in peace or rush to her side. She did know that she must do something; the sight of Lucy in so much distress was almost more than she could bare.

'What would she do if out roles were reversed?' the doctor thought. There was no question about it. Liara slid from her seat and eased herself into the one next to Lucy. Her heart fluttered as she encircled the weeping spectre with one arm, hugging her as close as she dared.

"This is so unlike me." Shepard sniffled, "I…I don't want the crew to see me like this but sometimes…when you come so close to losing someone you…someone you…"

Her frame was wracked with new sobs and she forcefully returned Liara's embrace. It was a completely new feeling for the Asari; she hadn't been hugged for as long as she could remember. Now here was this woman she'd met less than a day ago pouring her heart down the doctors labcoat. Everything was happening so fast.

Eventually, Lucy took a few deep breaths and forced the tears back down.

"I'm sorry I put you through that Liara." the spectre said with a strained smile "Guess I'm just feeling the stress a bit more than usual."

Shepard broke off, her eyes running up and down the Asari maiden's body. Liara felt like it was another of her kind gazing at her; she felt the same emphatic brush across her soul, like a lingering caress. She wanted to speak but her temporary confidence was exhausted. Her stomach churned like a seething cauldron of witch's brew and she feared she may throw up if she dared open her mouth.

"Come on," Lucy said, beckoning the Asari towards the Medbay, "We've both been up far too long. There's a store room in here which you can call yours. It's not much, but it's a hell of a lot better than those uncomfortable sleeper pods."

Doctor Chakwas looked up as they entered. She smiled at the pair and nodded towards the bed where the prone form of Tali lay.

"She's going to be absolutely fine," the doctor said warmly, gesturing for them to step closer. "Her wounds were not as severe as they looked, she should be up and about in a few days."

Lucy realised she'd been holding her breath and exhaled slowly. She had already known Tali would live, but it was still a relief to see her resting so peacefully. Her characteristic smile returned, drawing a similar grin from Dr. Chakwas.

"Whatever would I do without you Doctor?" she exclaimed.

"Bleed to death on some godforsaken space rock most probably," came the deadpan reply, "Now then, what can I do for our young Prothean expert?"

"Liara would like a bit of solitude; I said she could use the spare bunk in the storage room."

Liara was stunned. She didn't recall ever expressing a wish to be on her own. It was as if the Commander knew what she wanted without the Asari even opening her mouth.

"I…that is, if it's not too much trouble." was all she could say.

Lucy felt the tiny waft of air as the door to Liara's 'quarters' slid shut behind her. It was just her and the doctor. now, plus the skeleton bridge crew. Her limbs felt like lead and her shoulder wound still throbbed a little.

"You know, despite what you may think, you're only human Commander," Chakwas spoke up teasingly. "You really should get some rest."

"Yeah…yeah I will, it's been a very long day." Lucy said, struggling to suppress a yawn. The thought of a military bunk had never been more appealing, anything to take the weight off aching legs. Besides, she needed time to process the emotions that swirled relentlessly in her mind.

She briefly paused next to Tali as she passed. Lucy was still unsure of what she felt when she thought of the young Quarian. It was some bizarre mix of emotions that should never come together, but somehow combined into something beautiful. For some reason she felt a strong desire to see the girl's real face, to see what she'd almost lost. Shepard bent over her unconscious friend, leaning in to see if she could catch a glimpse. There were blurry shapes that looked like eyes and a nose beneath the tinted visor, but it was hard to tell. Lucy's chest felt inexplicably tight, and she was heavily aware of her heart thumping violently against her ribcage.

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, she inched even closer, to the point where her breath steamed the glass. Her own brilliantly green eyes stared back, as if it was she who lay incapacitated. Lucy risked a glance at the doctor, but she was still focused on her terminal, engrossed in whatever she did to pass the time.

The spectre knew she should go. She should just up and leave right then and save herself from a potentially awkward situation later. Her mind willed her to stop what she was about to do, but it was as if someone who knew all her suppressed desires was controlling her movements. Rosy red lips brushed the surface of the Quarian's visor, gently at first but then with more resolve. Lucy planted a long, slow kiss on Tali's faceplate. It made no sense, why was she doing this? All Shepard knew was that she cared very deeply for the young engineer.

She quickly straightened as her sense re-asserted itself. Guiltily looking around, Lucy was relieved that neither Liara not Dr. Chakwas had seen her display of affection. A small, red lipstick mark was imprinted on Tali's 'face', there could be no doubt about how it got there. Shepard went to wipe it off, but thought better of it. Maybe the young girl would get the message, maybe she wouldn't. Either way, Lucy was completely unsure of what lay before her.

Without another word, she retired to her quarters. The room looked like any military residence...functional and devoid of personality. The world swam and blurred as she stripped off her uniform, discarding it in a crumpled mess on the floor. Physically exhausted and emotionally drained, Lucy flopped on her double bed and immediately sank into dreams of smooth blue skin, and eyes hidden by frosted glass.

The next week was incredibly frantic and left little time for any business of a personal nature. It seemed that once news of the Normandy's exploits had leaked into certain circles, everyone was desperate to get a slice of the pie. The System's alliance had contacted the spectre three times to ask for her help in resolving various matters. Lucy had naturally agreed, although it did feel like every second they spent hunting down privateers, Saren slipped further and further away. At long last, seven days after they'd rescued Liara, the Commander finally had a chance to catch her breath.

Lucy Shepard sat at a cramped desk in the captain's private quarters. Her eyes were sore and bloodshot from too much time in front of the computer screen. She'd never really appreciated quite how much office work was involved in policing an entire galaxy. One would think someone above the law would be free of red-tape. It was true that she could act as she saw fit, the catch was that she had to justify her actions to the council afterwards. While it wasn't strictly necessary, the councillors had made it quite clear that as the first human spectre, Lucy was expected to be as pristine as possible. That meant obeying all the pinickty little rules that other spectres walked all over.

The Commander reclined into the chair, head lolling backwards against her shoulders. It was definitely turning in time; her shift had ended two hours ago. Closing down the laptop, she was about to undress when a beep indicated that someone was waiting outside. Who on earth would want to talk to her at this hour? The fact they did, meant it was most probably something vitally important. With a stressed exhalation, she pulled her crew shirt back over her head, straightened it out and went to answer the door.

It was the last person she was expecting to see. The door slip open to reveal the curvaceous form of Tali, just recently released back to active duty. Shepard could not see her face, as always, but it was clearly evident in her body language that something was troubling her.

"Tali," the spectre said warmly, gesturing her inside "What's wrong? Your shift ended four hours ago."

The young Quarian took a moment to collect herself.

"That's the problem," she said sadly, her eyes downcast inside the helmet "I've been trying to get to sleep all that time, but...I just can't. This ship is so quiet, I'm not used to it."

"You never mentioned this before." Lucy said, taking a seat and nodding to indicate that Tali could do the same. The engineer pulled up a stool, her forwards bending knees were ill suited for human chairs.

"I know," Tali continued with a subdued tone "At first it was all such an adventure...I'm doing something unlike any of our people have done before, it was hard not to get swept along. Now though…after what happened…it made me realise that it's not all excitement. I guess it sort of...shook me up a little bit."

"I understand," Shepard said, thinking of how she'd felt in those first few months "You're homesick, I was just the same when I was your age…at least, I…how old are you exactly?"

"We Quarians measure time differently from your people," Tali explained "I'm not sure exactly, but I'd guess I'm about nineteen years by your standard."

Lucy let out a quiet whistle of surprise "That's awfully young…too young for a girl to be cast out to fend for herself."

"I'm not a child!" the engineer said with mock indignation "But you are right, the Pilgrimage can get lonely. Back on the Flotilla, I couldn't wait to set off and explore the galaxy. Now that I'm out here though…I kind of miss it. Life is hard, but that only makes you closer to your family…I didn't really appreciate that until now."

Lucy took Tali's hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. More than anything, she wanted to remind the Quarian that she was not alone…that she was still close to people who cared for her. The spectre was uncertain of what to do, she didn't know Tali's feelings and she sure as hell didn't know her own.

"You know…" she began, exerting her will to forcibly stop her voice from trembling "If you can't sleep…maybe you'd like to…to bunk in here, with me tonight. It's a lot more comfortable and maybe having someone else there might...you know, help you drift off. That is…if you don't mind."

Beneath her visor, Tali's face had lit up like a lightbulb.

"You're serious…you really mean it?" the feisty girl suddenly found herself totally lost for anything to say.

"Of course I am," Shepard replied, sunning the Quarian with a toothy smile "It's a double, so there's plenty of room. I guess you have to keep your suit on though."

"Yes, sadly I must wear it constantly to prevent the risk of infection…I wish there was an easier way, these things get so sweaty and uncomfortable sometimes."

Lucy was about to speak, but a mighty yawn stifled the words from her mouth. She took that as her cue to retreat to the small en suite to get changed. Behind the locked door she took a long hard look at herself in the mirror. She had to be sure she was doing it for the right reasons.

'This girl is distressed and needs my help.' the Commander told herself sternly 'this is completely innocent, simply a favour for a friend in need. That's all. End of.'

Not for the first time, Shepard's thoughts wandered to Liara. She wished she possessed the empathic powers of the young Asari. Lucy longed to know Tali's mind, what was running through her head. Did she look to Shepard as a friend, or a mother figure? What if she wanted something more? Was Lucy giving the girl false hope? Was it even 'false' at all, what did she feel towards the young Quarian?

The spectre splashed her face with freezing cold water. She needed to sober up. Nothing was going to happen, just sleep and rest…she needed time to think.

'You've had a week to think!' her devils advocate piped up 'The truth is, you're confused, torn and guilty. You're too scared to admit what you feel, so you cover it up with excuses.'

Lucy splashed another handful of icy water onto her rapidly heating skin. She was over analyzing everything; she should just sit back and see what hand life dealt her.

Exiting the cramped toilet, the spectre was surprised to see the girl still hovering in the middle of the room. The young engineer had seemed dead on her feet with fatigue, but she still seemed to be waiting for something.

"What's wrong Tali?" she asked, padding barefoot over to the Quarian.

"Well…where's your bed Shepard?" she asked, glancing around with thinly veiled curiosity.

"I don't understand," the spectre said, confused "It's right there."

"You sleep horizontally?" Tali seemed bewildered.

"Well, that is the good, old-fashioned way we did it before s-pods, yeah."

Tali paced over to the mattress and sat down. She seemed surprised by the amount of give in the springy padding, looking at it with alarm as if it might engulf her. Glancing at Shepard, it was obvious she didn't know what to do.

"Here…let me help." Lucy said, feeling rather silly. Folding back the covers, she guided Tali's two toed feet underneath. She then did the same to her head, gently lowering it onto the fluffy pillow. The Quarian wriggled a bit until she was lying on her side, facing the empty bed space. Her shoulders snuggled down into the soft folds of the mattress.

"Wow! I never thought it would be so comfortable." she sighed, clutching the quilt over herself. Lucy couldn't help but chuckle, the whole scene was pretty ridiculous if she'd stopped to think about it. Thankfully, she didn't, or she may have opted out. Instead, the spectre slid into the other side of the double-bed, finding herself face to 'face' with Tali. Giving the girl an awkward smile, Lucy slid her finger across the dimmer strip, and the room lights were extinguished.

"Goodnight Tali." the Commander whispered, closing her own eyes and relaxing all tension in her body.

"Goodnight," the Quarian replied, before adding "Thank you Shepard, you're such a good friend."

Friend.

Friend?

Had Lucy been misinterpreting the signals all along? Was she inventing signals where there weren't any? The thoughts spiralled through her brain, leaving no room for sleep. The spectre lay there awake, feeling the rise and fall of the Quarian's light breathing beside her. It wasn't fair…why did everything have to be so complex?

'I guess that comes with being a soldier.' she thought bitterly.

It had been two hours, and Lucy was still no closer to rest. It seemed Tali's sleeplessness had passed to her. Maybe she could talk to Dr. Chakwas; she was the closest thing the ship had to a councillor. At the very least, she may have some sleeping pills. Problem was, there was no way to get up without rousing her bed-mate. The young girl had finally found peace; Shepard was loathed to disturb her just to make herself feel better.

Sinking back to the sweaty pillow, Lucy tried to clear her head of all emotional thought. She pictured the Medbay, trying to recall all the little details. Hopefully, thinking of something neutral might finally allow her mind to relax.

Unexpectedly, her mind's eye continued through the Medbay and into the room beyond. There was no light, save for the glow of a computer monitor. Liara lay tucked up in her camp bed, one graceful blue arm dangling from beneath the covers. It looked ghostly pale in the polarised glow that illuminated the Asari's sleeping form. Her mouth was slightly ajar, revealing neat rows of perfectly white teeth. The virtual Shepard drew closer as she imagined what it might be like to kiss those soft, moist lips.

Liara's eyes jerked open with sudden wakefulness. The once crystal blue irises were now pitch black, as bottomless as the crushing depths of dark space. A timeless gaze fell upon the Commander, simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. Lucy recoiled her thoughts, forcing the haunting image from her mind. Somehow, she knew that what she'd seen was no flight of fancy. It was impossible to explain, but the scene had definitely felt real...as if she'd actually been with Liara just a few second earlier.

The vision had shaken Shepard badly. She could feel sweat trickling across her skin, the image of those eyes still fresh on her retinas. It hadn't been scary in a malevolent sense. No, it was more a feeling of overwhelming love and desire. Lucy resolved to try and enquire about it the next time she had an alone moment with Liara.

What happened next would live with the Commander for the rest of her life. She felt the most feather-light touch imaginable softly glide across her cheek. The spectre tensed; unable to tell if she'd really felt anything. Maybe it was her imagination, a ghost sense from her thoughts about the Asari.

Lucy was just about to write it off when she felt it again. There was no doubting it now, although the touch remained soft. A fingertip tenderly stroked the length of her cheek-bone, before continuing on to brush a loose golden strand from the spectre's face. Shepard remained still, unconsciously continuing the slow breathing indicative of someone deeply asleep. She feared if she reacted, the moment might end…and she wanted it to continue. Her eyes were open, but in the complete blackness she could see nothing.

A palm cupped her chin, a distinctive three fingers brushing the sensitive skin of her throat. Lucy forced herself to breathe normally, and hoped her massive increase in heart rate was not as obvious as it felt. The hand left her skin, although it still tingled at the point of contact.

A single finger returned, this time caressing the spectre's velvety lips. It parted them ever so slightly to tickle the more sensitive flesh deeper inside. Lucy could feel that it was not bare skin probing her mouth, but a smooth, rubbery fabric.

The diminutive form of Tali shifted minutely beside her. All Shepard could do was wait to see what would come next. Before long, the Quarian had slid as close to the spectre as she dared. Agonizing seconds passed, and Lucy could almost hear the younger girls mind racing. She felt a rush of empathy as she realised Tali too was fighting a furious inner battle. The Commander longed to tell her it was okay but words would not come.

Tali timidly lifted a shapely thigh beneath the covers. The young Quarian was so close; Lucy could easily feel the deep, steadying breaths she took. Then, she gingerly lowered it onto the spectre, entwining herself against the stunned woman. Shepard was awed by the intense heat that flushed Tali's body, and the magical feeling of the engineer snuggling up as close as she could. The Commander's skin tingled where the warm exhalation from the girl's air-filter danced across her neck. Despite everything, this moment was perfect.

"Oh Shepard…" the Quarian whispered, her voice filled with undisguised longing.

Lucy held her breath, straining to hear the girl's voice over the roaring of her own pulse. The spectre's face was so flushed it actually hurt.

"I know you can't hear me…" Tali continued, her tinny pitch cracking with emotion "But I want you to know that I...I would do anything for you. Lying here, now…it means everything to me."

Shepard's mind reeled with the weight of the Quarian's words. She never would have dreamed in a million years that Tali thought so much of her. What had she ever done to deserve such adoration? No matter, she couldn't let this slide. If nothing else, the thought of Tali going through the same conflict as she herself was experiencing was enough to spur the spectre into action.

Lucy could feel the engineer's palm resting lightly on her hip. Slowly and deliberately, she slid her own hand underneath the covers, and interlaced Tali's fingers with her own. She squeezed the girls hand for emphasis, making sure it was clear what she was doing. Beneath her grip, Tali froze completely stiff. Pure terror locked all the muscles in her body at the realisation that she'd been discovered. Lucy could feel the Quarian's body trembling all over, the sensation sending shivers down her own spine. Long...seconds...dragged...by. Eventually, Tali broke the agonizing silence.

"I…I…I…" was all she could manage as she fumbled to back away from Shepard.

"Tali…" Lucy croaked, her throat suddenly dry "It's okay."

With those simple words of acceptance, the Commander encircled the young girl in her arms. Lifting her curvaceous frame from the bed, the spectre planted a tentative kiss on Tali's mouthpiece. It was hard and metal, but warm as the young girl's moist breath filtered through. The Quarian was too stunned to do anything but limply soak it all in as Lucy kissed her again and again.

However, the small scrap of sense she had left forced her to stop. While there was no doubt her 'friend' wanted more, Lucy knew she wasn't ready. Tali was still shaking uncontrollably, the only indication of the tempest that seethed within her. With a heart-wrenching effort that took every ounce of willpower she possessed, the Commander backed down.

"This is all too fast," she husked raggedly "We need time…time to...think things through."

Shepard picked her next words very carefully.

"I am very interested in you Tali…but neither of us are ready just yet. We'll talk more in…in the morning."

Lucy was just able to see the tiny nod the engineer gave by way of an answer. The girl's hands were clamped sharply over her mouth, as if she could still not quite believe what had just happened.

The spectre patted the space right next to her. Still in stunned silence, Tali crawled closer until the two were once more cuddled together. Lucy was reminded of two little love-birds which had shared a nest in her parent's garden, all those years ago. As a child, she'd fed them little scraps of bread whenever her family ate out in the garden, and had watched with childish glee as the couple shared the morsels equally. Back then, that was what love was to her...someone you were willing to share your bread with.

Cradled in each other's arms, sleep finally claimed the pair of them.