Three Little Lovebirds
Chapter 12 – Another Girl, Another Planet
Lucy stumbled as the foreign noise filled her mind, slamming against a bulkhead with a resounding clang. The impact was loud enough to startle Garrus from where he'd been lackadaisically sipping a mug of Turian tea at the nearby mess hall table. Whirling around, he barely managed to stop it from spilling everywhere and succeeded in simultaneously putting the drink safely on the table and leaping to his feet.
"Shepard? What's wrong?"
Lucy pushed herself away from the wall, still holding her head in her hands. The noise had receded and was fading rapidly, but the picture that had filled her mind didn't dissipate so easily. When Lucy had closed her eyes, she'd been greeted by a vision of Liara rather than the usual enveloping blackness. The Asari had been writhing in pain, screaming profusely although there didn't appear to be any obvious cause. At that moment, Lucy had realised that this was not a hallucination but rather another out-of-body experience. It felt just the same as her sporadic dreams in which she appeared by the Asari's bed.
It didn't take her long to pursue that chain of thought and realise that whatever was hurting Liara was very real, and that she was experiencing it right now. Lucy didn't waste any more time, dismissing a concerned Garrus with a distracted 'nothing' as she quickly made her way to the Medbay. The doors seemed to take an age to open and the spectre squeezed through a soon as the gap between them was wide enough. A startled doctor Chakwas glanced up from her workstation as Lucy made her somewhat undignified entry.
"Commander I..."
"Something's wrong with Liara." Shepard stated bluntly, not wanting to waste any time when it was obvious the Asari was suffering.
"What?" Chakwas glanced round to where her patient was dozing on one of the beds. She lay completely still, her breathing slow and rhythmic with no outward indication of distress.
"Run a full scan on her, check for any anomalies." Lucy said, approaching the prone figure as the bewildered medical officer fished around for the necessary tools. Feeling a moment of tenderness despite the situation, she lightly brushed her fingertips over Liara's temple, sliding her hand across the flawless blue flesh to cup one, tear-stained cheek. If Chakwas had had her microscope to hand, she may have seen the most miniscule of tremors in Shepard's bottom lip; the only indication of how much the sight of Liara's prone form hurt the spectre.
"Don't worry Liara," Lucy whispered, withdrawing her hand to grasp the Asari's firmly, offering as much support as she could given the circumstances.
"I'm right here."
Liara felt Lucy's presence before she heard her voice. She could dimly make out sounds in the room around her and as soon as the muffled whir of the door opening reached her ears, she knew the spectre was there. It was like a warm, protective blanket had been thrown over her body, muting Liara's raw nerve endings and deadening the pain to more bearable levels.
The comforting feeling that her proximity to Lucy inspired gave the Asari a chance to think straight for the first time since her traumatic experience several hours earlier. Liara knew that the only way that she'd be able to resolve her emotional conflict and actually reach some sort of conclusion would be if she studied her situation with the same clinical detachment she brought to her work. She'd just have to treat her personal problems as a scientific enigma that required logic and a methodical thought process to unravel.
'Let's start at the beginning' she mumbled quietly to herself, although in reality the words existed in her mind only.
She had to admit that her prospects looked bleak. The woman she loved was apparently involved in a relationship with another and as such, would not be interested in her. Liara had taken a brief opportunity to study the basics of human custom when she came onboard, partially from curiosity and also to ensure that she did not accidentally offend anyone. Her research had indicated that, like most other races, the majority of the species was monogamous. It seemed highly likely that Lucy adhered to this norm.
Forcing that crushingly depressing thought to one side, Liara tried to look at the other potential obstacles that lay between themr. The next obvious one that sprang to mind was the gender bias of most species. Although Liara was aware of the biological differences between male and female, the lack of any such distinction on her home planet made understanding the social differences between the two a confusing and complicated affair. For example, despite the fact that her entire species was genderless, all non-Asari that she had encountered still persisted in referring to her as a woman or in some of the more insulting cases, a girl. Liara knew that it was inevitable, after all her race shared many physiological attributes with the females of other races, but it was still a source of minor annoyance to her that others continued to use the term, even after the had explained why it was inaccurate.
Fortunately, that was one problem that the Asari could dismiss straight away. From her conversation with the doctor, and from the now insurmountable evidence laid right before her eyes, it was clear that Lucy was one of the smaller percentage of the human population that actively preferred a same sex partnership. It was almost enough to stir a small spark of hope in Liara's chest but she quickly quashed it back down. If she allowed herself to become hopeful, it would just end up hurting more.
After going through a few more problems and finding that there were remarkably easy solutions to all of them, Liara finally realized that she had to confront the number one obstacle and probably the sole reason that she wasn't now lying in the spectres bed as opposed to a Medbay operating table. Quite simply, it was the fact that no matter how much she pined after Lucy, and fantasized about the love they could share, Liara could never muster the courage to actually approach the Commander. There'd been a few times when, filled with spontaneous confidence and resolve, she'd made her way to Lucy's cabin, intending to explain to the spectre exactly how she felt. Such attempts had always petered out however as self doubt and fear plagued the young Asari, picking holes in her determination until, by the time she was stood outside Lucy's door, she realised that there was no way she'd be able to adequately express herself. Feeling wretched, worthless and disgusted at her own cowardice, Liara would slink back to her 'quarters' and more often than not, quietly cry herself into a fitful sleep. Liara was certain that she'd shed more tears in the past few weeks than during the rest of her one hundred year life so far.
It was getting to the stage now where she was barely able to function as a member of the spectre's team; even in the more sedate role to which she was suited. As her love for Lucy continued to grow, Liara found each day more and more difficult to get through. Paying attention to what the spectre was saying, and not the subtle curvature of her delicate jawline, or the way her lips quirked in a tiny half-smile whenever she felt a mission was going well was an uphill struggle for the Asari. Liara knew that sooner or later it would become completely unbearable and when that happened, she really had no idea what she'd do. That was of course assuming that her lack of mental focus hadn't led to her death or infinitely worse; someone else's. If Lucy was so much as scratched because she was too nervous and distracted to prevent it...Liara didn't even know a word for how that would make her feel. Appalled, aghast and horrified were the closest she could think of but seemed woefully inadequate for the task.
In the end, all of this debate seemed futile. Even if she could find a way to overcome her paralytic fear, Lucy already loved a different woman and that didn't look like it was changing anytime soon. Who could blame her; Tali was outspoken, brave and considerably younger. There was no reason for Lucy to choose a timid, bookish Asari who no doubt bored half the people she met to death over such a wonderful partner. The very idea seemed laughable, much to Liara's endless despair. No matter how often she was forced to confront reality like this, it never got any easier or any less painful.
'Goddess...what am I going to do?'
Sudden warmth passed over her skin, a feeling so unexpected that Liara hesitated in her self-deprecation. Someone was touching her face; their gentle fingers radiating the heat that seemed to drive back all her dark thoughts. The touch was tender; caring...almost loving in how softly the person stroked her cheek. Smooth, delicate fingertips caressed the lilac blue flesh before sliding slowly down until the entire palm rested against Liara's fevered skin, soothing muscles that had remained taught with worry for days on end.
"Don't worry Liara," Lucy whispered, her voice so silky and layered with unspoken connotations that the Asari felt herself shiver. "I'm right here."
Perhaps it was the kind words, or more probably the completely heartfelt way in which they were spoken but Liara found herself suddenly infused with a strength and confidence she didn't know she possessed. It was just so perfect; she could almost see Lucy's beautiful face watching over her, love and compassion brimming in eyes that seemed to glow like twin suns. Liara knew that this was the moment to say what she'd been holding onto her entire life.
'Lucy! Lucy please...I-I love you...'
Nothing. Liara's voice was heard by her alone.
"I just got a spike," Chakwas announced, glancing up from her monitoring equipment with a concerned expression. "She's experiencing more emotionally induced stress."
Lucy swallowed on the rebellious lump in her throat. It had appeared when she'd witnessed a single tear leak from the Asari's eye and run lazily down skin that was already stained to near-white from previous weeping. Since that, it had remained firmly lodged against her windpipe, as if her conscience felt a physical reminder was needed to prevent her messing up again.
"Can't you wake her up?" Lucy pleaded "She's tearing herself to shreds in there."
The doctor shook her head glumly.
"Waking her now would be inadvisable. Liara's undergone severe trauma, her brain needs time to re-establish the damaged neural pathways. Any technique I used to bring her around would undo any repairs being performed."
Lucy took the bleak bit of news and ran with it, her brain working overtime. Working off the assumption that it was her actions that were the cause of all this, something that seemed irrefutable, perhaps there was a natural way to accelerate Liara's regeneration.
"Is she aware of us?"
"Most probably," Chakwas replied, taking a second to check the readouts once more "From what I can tell she's still conscious to a certain extent, her higher brain functions are still registering. Although she is unable to move or respond, I would say that she can still sense some external stimuli."
Lucy mulled it over. If she was right, the solution seemed obvious.
"Do you think you could leave us for a moment doctor?"
The medical officer studied her intently for several long seconds, as if deciding whether she could trust the spectre or not. Then, with a solemn nod, she headed for the exit, leaving Shepard and an unconscious Liara alone in the Medbay.
Lucy drew a deep breath, hoping that she hadn't miscalculated. She remembered the time when Tali had gone into some form of shock after removing her suit. At the time, the only thing Lucy could think to do was kiss her. Looking back on it afterwards, it seemed a rather stupid idea and yet, amazingly, it had actually worked. Liara situation wasn't really so different: her body was reacting adversely to a strong excess of negative emotion and that gave Lucy hope that maybe, just maybe, she could do it again.
Of course, this was so much more than just a dispassionate, clinical treatment. The only way it had any hope of working was if Liara was aware of it on an emotional level and that included remembering the whole thing when she woke up. Was she really ready to make her feelings clear to the Asari just yet? After all, she and Tali were at an incredibly delicate phase in their relationship...there was no telling what might happen to any of them once Liara was included as well.
'Quit making excuses and kiss her you idiot,'
Lucy had never been one to argue with her subconscious.
"Liara..." she whispered, leaning in close enough to smell the faint scent of lavender that was unique to the elegant Asari "I don't know if you can here me...but if you are in there, I want you to know that you're not alone. You never were. It's taken me far longer than it should have to say this; it should have been the first words off my tongue when we met. I lo-"
Just before the magical words could escape, a sudden sound of commotion outside forced Lucy to look up. From what she could tell, the disturbance was coming this way. Standing up jerkily, her normally calm and friendly exterior cracked as she prepared to verbally lash the cause of this interruption to within an inch of their metaphorical life. With a purposeful stride, she stormed over to the automatic doors, preparing to breeze through as they parted noiselessly.
She was forced to screech to a halt as she stepped over the threshold, brought up short by a wickedly fine rapier held at neck level. Lucy managed to stumble backwards a second before the gleaming tip drew blood from her throat.
"Ah," said a familiar, deep voice without a trace of inflection "So this is the spectre who seeks to romance my only daughter away from me."