Three Little Lovebirds
Chapter 21 – Love
It was there...Liara had long thought it extinguished but there it was, in her, now.
The tiniest spark of hope.
"Sh-Shepard?" she hesitated, surprised to see such an honest display of emotion on the normally composed woman's features. "Shepard...you're crying."
Stupid! Stating the obvious again...don't you think she knows that already?
A nervous smile graced the spectre's lips, quickly followed by a slight chuckle. It was odd to see someone laugh while tears streaked down their face.
"Yes-yes, I guess I am." Lucy said, her voice choked as she forced herself to breath in and out steadily, "Ironic isn't it; the unb-b-b-reakable s-spectre having a breakdown."
Why must humans use humour at such inappropriate times?
"I do not understand. What is upsetting you?" Liara tightened her embrace, remembering the only other time she'd seen Shepard cry; after Tali had been injured on Therum. It had been such a surprise, that a woman so careful with expressing her emotions would trust an Asari she'd just met enough to show them.
Lucy sucked in a breath, held it for several seconds, then released it in one long 'whoosh'. Warm air tickled exposed skin; Liara shuddered imperceptibly.
"Did you ever think about Verdus?" Shepard asked, trying not to sound like a woman charging headfirst off a cliff, "Did you ever wonder why I kissed you?"
The spark faltered; reduced to embers by that simple question.
She feels guilty. She feels guilty that she kissed me when she is in love with Tali. Oh Goddess, it all makes sense now.
"That wasn't...I didn't think that you...I mean..."
Lucy withdrew from the young Asari just enough to place one silencing finger across her lips.
"Please, don't jump to conclusions. It isn't what you think."
How could she know what I think? Perhaps the dream joining...no, it must be another one of these human expressions.
The feeling of Lucy's skin on hers was a great distraction to her thought process. A torturously intimate distraction. The dull ache of longing filled her chest, threatening to sweep away the tiny spark that still clung tenaciously to life. Why did the universe insist on tormenting her?
"My guess is that, when you look back on that brief moment in the jungle, you tell yourself that it was nothing more than the actions of a woman who knew she was possibly going to her death." Shepard sighed, withdrawing her finger and hanging her head in...shame, defeat? "I thought that too...at the time. It wasn't until I'd lived through that encounter and was helping you back to the Mako that I realised how wrong I'd been."
She shook her head sadly.
"It was my first mistake; the first of many more to come. It marked the point where I really started to fuck thing up."
Liara's eyes widened in surprise. It was the first time she'd ever heard Lucy use what she understood to be a human curse word. It was evident that the spectre felt very strongly about what had happened. What that was exactly, Liara didn't dare to consider.
But that spark was slowly rekindling itself.
"I've betrayed your trust." Lucy continued, her lip twitching in a self-deprecating sneer, "They say that the lie of omission is just as bad as the lie of falsification. If that's true than I've been lying to you ever since you came aboard in the worst possible way."
The spark was growing, it's heat and light carving small chunks from the surrounding blackness.
"What, Lucy?" Liara drew on her blossoming hope for courage, taking Shepard's hands in her own as tightly as she dared "What haven't you told me?"
The spectre was trembling.
Goddess, she's so scared.
Liara stared into Shepard's eyes and what she saw shocked her more than anything else she'd heard or seen since she woke up.
In the eyes of the woman she loved more than anything; an unbreakable, infallible paragon whose beauty surpassed the Thessian sunset, she saw...herself. She saw someone who was hurting deeply inside; who longed to reveal their desires but was held back by fear...fear of rejection but even moreso than that, fear of acceptance.
The spark was now a bright, shining flame.
"I haven't told you the truth." Lucy whispered, holding Liara's gaze with watery eyes, "The truth that I...t-that I..."
"Yes?"
"That I love you."
There it was.
Plain and simple.
All Liara could do was stare.
"L..." Words were impossible. "Lu..?"
She could see Shepard studying her face, waiting for a sign. Her expressions was so vulnerable, Liara didn't dare breath for fear it might be misinterpreted.
Oh Lucy! Oh my wonderful darling Lucy!
You finally found me...
For the first time since her mother disappeared without so much as a goodbye, Liara felt truly...happy. Not something transient, something impermanent brought on by a surprise archaeological find...something deep, that stretched to her very soul; utter contentment.
Before she knew what was happening, Liara had taken Lucy's face in her hands, and was kissing her with every ounce of passion she could muster. She felt completely out of control, knowing only that this was the purest, most accurate way to express the love she felt. It was inexperienced...almost painful, but the Asari made up for it with sheer desire; crushing their lips together with a desperate intensity.
Liara continued until her veins screamed for oxygen, and only then did she finally let go of herself completely. Something seemed to crack inside of her, and suddenly her body was shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed into Lucy's tender embrace. She clung to the spectre like a lifeline as every ounce of pain and grief and loneliness flushed itself from her system; until the emotions that had ruled her life so recently were nothing but receding memories.
"I'm sorry." Shepard whispered, cradling the emotionally overwrought Asari to her heart "I'm so, so sorry for what I've put you through."
"Is this really happening?" Liara croaked "Please, tell me this is real. If I wake up now, I..."
"Shhhh," Lucy hushed in her ear, allowing herself the pleasure of brushing her lips across the fluked blue skin as she spoke, "This is as real as it gets, darling."
"B-But what about Tali?"
Lucy loosened her grip just a fraction.
"I don't know," She admitted, "I've thought about it a lot, especially while you were...away."
Shepard sighed.
"Please, believe me when I say that I love you both equally. What I want more than anything is for both of you to be happy." Lucy paused, clearly organizing her thoughts, "I tried to take the middle road, and all it did was hurt everyone. And now I've seen what happens when one thinks I've chosen the other. Everything I've done since the beginning has made things worse."
"I'm not saying it's perfect by any means, b-but if you and she were willing...to try something...different." She closed her eyes. Putting Liara in this situation was callous, but she deserved to know the whole truth. "I want you to understand that I'm not doing this for me; it's about doing what's best for you...and for her. But I swear, you have my word that I will love you no less than if it were just me and you. Tali may be my soul Liara, but you are my heart. I'd sooner die than abandon you."
Taking the beautiful Asari's hands again, Lucy forced herself to look her square in the eye.
"I love you Liara. It may be hard to believe that I can love two people with all that I am, but I promise you, I'll do it...for you. Please, tell me you're willing to give it a shot."
The young maiden was dumbfounded. Shepard was willing to risk her own happiness on her behalf? She had something beautiful with Tali; the only reason to try for more was if she truly loved Liara as much as Liara loved her.
Lucy was her soulmate. In her mind, there was no choice to make.
"I know what it is like to see the woman you love with someone else." Liara whispered. She was nervous as hell, but it no longer ruled her actions as it had before, "It is an...experience I would not wish on anyone...least of all someone who I see now could have been me, given different circumstances."
The young Asari maiden could feel tears in her eyes again. She guessed this would be a regular occurrence until her brain fully grasped the fact that her and Lucy were...together, at last.
"If s-she loves you half as much as I do, then I know that she would be lost without you, just as I was." Liara squeezed the spectre's hands to her chest, willing the love in her heart to flow into them and fill Lucy to the brim. "How could I deny your request Shepard? How could I deny you when you have given me so much? You trusted me despite my mother's affiliation with Saren. You stood up for me when others were not so quick to accept it. You gave me a home, a family of sorts...and now, you have given me your love. This is my chance to reciprocate by doing something for you."
Neither one moved for a moment, both silently acknowledging the importance of the understanding they had just come to. Then, slowly, one of Shepard's hands found its way from the Asari's grip and onto the back of her neck. Joyous thrills of anticipation raced down Liara's spine as she realised she was about to experience her second kiss. This was what she had fantasised about on all those lonely evenings...Lucy's hands lovingly guiding her through the intimate act; taking the lead until she was comfortable enough to respond.
The spectre's lips brushed her mouth, pausing only to whisper another "I love you." before they united with hers, and the world was lost in a haze of glorious sensation.
The spark which had once been extinguished now shone brighter than any star.