Hey everyone, I will post this on top of all my chapter's for all the reader's that read this story when it first cam out but I have updated ALL chapter to this story and changed the plot line a little bit, so make sure you reread the first chapters if you are rereading or continuing to read this.

Thanks,

M

Chapter 4

I was still in shock.

My graduation happened right after my trails. I got my promise mark and Alberta handed me my schedule and a stake with a sad but proud look. I gave her a hug and told her I would be fine. About a half hour of everyone students and teachers all congratulating me I had had enough of the attention. The entire time I stayed professional and composed until Eddie, Adrian, Lissa, and Christian come up to me and gave me a big dog pile hug. I laughed at them but accepted the hug.

Dimitri had tried talking to me, but we kept it professional. To speak the truth, it was a lot harder than what it should have been. I just wanted to run to him and say I'm pregnant with your baby, but I knew I couldn't do that. Not only because of our conversation earlier but, because I know how he thinks, and he would just find every reason that it wasn't his. If it wasn't for everyone being there, I probably would have, but I needed to grow up. I needed to prove I can take care of not only myself, but Lissa and, my baby.

Later that night Lissa through a party in my honor to celebrate my graduation and becoming a guardian. Everyone kept offering me drinks to which I had to refuse. What really shocked me the most was Dimitri was there and he was drunk. Tasha nowhere to be seen. I just brushed it off my shoulders until Adrian came up to me completely sober, with Dimitri hanging off of him.

" Adrian, I got him, you go have fun. I'll take him to his room." I said grabbing Dimitri.

"Are you sure little dhampir?" He said with a skeptical look.

" Ya, I'm sure. I can't do anything here anyway remember. You go have enough fun for both of us. Since I can't enjoy this party somebody might as well."

" How could I forget." He said smiling. " Look at you being mommy of the year."

I just laughed at him and started walking out of there with Dimitri hanging on my shoulder. He seemed so out of it he didn't know that it was me he was with instead of Adrian.

" Mmm... you smell good. Like my Roza. Why do you smell like her?" Dimitri said.

" Okay. Whatever you say."

" I love my Roza. Did you know that?"

"That's just the alcohol talking Dimitri."

"No, it's not. I do love Roza. I have loved Roza since the day I meet her. Only her."

"Whatever, you don't lie and use the person you love".

"I didn't use her. Tasha found out about us and threatened to tell. So, I said I would go with her if she wouldn't tell."

"That doesn't explain why you had sex with her."

"I didn't want to. The last thing I remember is that she made the suggestion, and I told her no. That I didn't like her that way, and I was only there because of what she was going to do if I didn't go with her."

We stopped in the hall outside his door. He just stood there staring at his door. He looked at it with so much love in his eyes, but also regret and hurt.

" I've only ever have loved her, nobody else. I know what I did is inexcusable and that she's moved on, but I'll always love her."

" Who said she moved on?" I said going a long with this.

"My Roza is pregnant. You even said so, but you didn't have to lie about me being the father. You may have only said it because of spirit's madness but it doesn't make you say stuff you don't think is true. I know that much from helping Roza.". He opened his door and sat on the couch.

" Why do you think I'm lying to you? It's possible for her to get pregnant with a Dhampir with her being shadow kissed."

"She put you up to saying that didn't she? She really wants me to come back that badly. I can't now, I can't look at her without seeing a moroi like Jessie touching her that way."

" Well, you caught us, don't know why we ever thought you'd fall for it." I said with tears in my eyes as I leaned against the wall.

" That's the only reason she'd have for saying it was mine. She doesn't like who the real father is and tried getting me not only to come back but also say it was mine."

By now tears were freely falling down my face.

" It almost worked to. When you told me, I wanted it to be true that I almost believed. Then I started thinking logically, then I started getting mad about it. Here I am leaving the only person I love to protect her and turns out she cheated on me the same day that we mad love the first time or before or after even, with a moroi guy and got pregnant. Then had the nerve to try a trick me to raise it as my own. Just seeing a guy eyeing her in class made me furious, but to find out that she slept with someone... after everything we've been through. I at least didn't do anything with Tasha till after it was clear we weren't together."

I was quietly sobbing now hearing him talk like this. This is what he really thought about me. Just when I was about to leave, he said the most unforgivable thing I never thought he would say.

"Blood whore. Maybe the rumors were right after I brought her back and that's what she really is. That's what I get for getting attached to her. I was so stupid falling in love with her." He said with the most venom in his voice I've ever heard.

"Well I know what I am now to you..." I said as I walked out.

"Roza!" Dimitri yelled after me.

I started running to my room, thankful that it was in Guardian quarters now and not the female Dhampir dorms anymore. Once I got into my room, I let all my tears free. I laid on my bed crying for hours until I eventually fell asleep.

The next day I woke up and looked around my room. It was bare and had no life to it at all yet cause of all my stuff still being packed up in boxes and bags. It wasn't until then that I realized that it was Dimitri's old room.

" Seriously, can the universe hate me anymore?" I said to myself.

I then recalled everything Dimitri had said last night to me. I was so hurt I started to cry again. While I was crying, I placed my hand on my abdomen where I thought the baby was. I don't know how but it somehow soothed me know that my baby was there happy and healthy, not having to worry about any of this, and not having any cares. I cried for a bit longer just repeating to myself that everything will be fine because I've got Lissa, Christian, Adrian, and now my baby to be with me through out everything that life could through my way. I got up after realizing how pathetic I was being and looked at the clock to see it was almost breakfast time, and got changed into somewhat professional looking, but still on the sexy side, clothes. I decided I was going to rock my body while I still could while being as professional as I could.

Just as I was finishing up putting my hair into a ponytail, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize.

I answered saying " Hello, Guardian Hathaway speaking."

" Please Rose no need to be so formal. It is just me after all. I have watched you grow up into who you are now." I heard Alberta say on the other end. " Anyway, I need you to come to headquarters after breakfast for a few minutes to go over a few things with you. Can you be here about ten minutes after?"

" Yes, of course Alberta. Ill be there."

I heard her laughing a little. " You don't know how much I want to correct you for calling me that. But just so we are clear on calls and one on one you can call me that the rest of the time call me guardian Petrov, got it?"

I laughed a little as well. " Ya, I got it."

" Good I will see you then." With that she hung up.

After I had finished my hair, I started my way down to the cafeteria. When I entered, I looked around to find Lissa and the gang. I was not expecting what happened next. Just as I was about to start walking up to the line to get food, I heard someone yell from across the room.

" Awesome job Rose!" Followed by a round of applause and cheering.

Before it could register in my brain what was happening, I was being lifted into the air by Eddie and another novice from my class and being put on to a table top as the clapping and cheering went on.

" Three cheers for Rose!" Eddie yelled over the crowd of novices that had gathered around me.

After they had finished everyone was asking me questions and asking for tips for the trails that would be coming up for them. I had to tell them that I could not because there's, would not only be different then mine, but I'm also a guardian for the school now and that I could possibly be one of the guardians doing the testing for it. They all looked either disappointed or scared cause they had been watching my trails. I got down off the table and went back to get food. I then sat down after getting a chocolate donut and a water bottle. It wasn't long till Adrian and Eddie came and joined me.

"Well, there's the sexy new Guardian!" Adrian said as he sat down. " So, how does it feel?"

" To be honest, like nothing has really changed. I think it's just because nothing has really happened yet so I'm sure it will after today. Today is like my orientation day so Alberta is going to be meeting with me to go over everything. It's probably going to be really boring but it comes with the job." I said smiling.

" Ya that sounds about right." Eddie said nonchalant, while patting my back.

" So, are you going to have time to come over to my place after your done tonight?" Adrian asked lifting an eyebrow. "I think we have some things to talk about."

" Maybe, I think I have a shift watching some classes today but other then that I think my next real shift isn't till tomorrow night."

" Good."

After that we eat in silence. Eventually Lissa and Christian joined us at the table I didn't really pay attention to what they were saying because I felt a pair of eyes on me. After about ten minutes I heard a thick Russian accented voice say my name.

" Rose, Can I talk to you for a few minutes please?" Dimitri asked from behind me.

" No, you can not Guardian Belikov. You said enough last night to Rose you don't need to say more." Adrian said standing up and puffing out his chest a little to have a bit of dominance while talking to Dimitri. I guess Adrian read my aura and new something had happened between us last night after I brought him back to his room.

" Lord Ivashkov I believe I wasn't talking to you." Dimitri said firmly and monotone.

"It's alright Adrian, I've got to go anyway." I got up, and just to get a little bit of payback on Dimitri, I gave Adrian a quick kiss, then turned towards the door. " If you really want to talk Guardian Belikov then you better talk and walk, let's go."

I started for the door with Dimitri following behind me.

" Rose can I please just talk to you properly. I'm sorry for what I said last night it wasn't me talking it was the alcohol, I didn't mean any of it."

"First off, It's Guardian Hathaway to you now." I said stopping pointing my finger at his chest.

"Second I've had enough experience with alcohol to know it doesn't make you say anything you don't mean or think or feel. Now if that is all this conversation is going to be about then you can go and be with your charge, because I am not going to have anything to do with someone who thinks that little of me and I am most certainly not going to let that same person have anything to do with my baby, father or not." With that I turned away from him.

" What do you want me to say?" He yelled. " That I am the biggest idiot in the world?"

As he was talking, he moved in front of me again blocking my path. We were so close that if he just leaned down enough, he would have been able to kiss me.

I started to think. What did I want? There was that word again want. I knew exactly what I wanted, I wanted Dimitri to choose me over Tasha. I wanted my baby to have both their mother and father present and apart of their life. At this point it wasn't about what I wanted but what everyone else wanted, what was best, and what needed to be done. I knew I needed to fully let him go and let him choose his family.

This is exactly what I didn't want this to happen. Now if Dimitri choose to stay with me it would be because he loved me it would be because of the baby. I wanted to beat Adrian for letting it slip that I was pregnant. But at least everyone except for Dimitri thought he was lying because of spirit. Now it was a choice between me and Tasha, it was between the baby and Tasha. I knew what I had to say to let him go and move on, but it couldn't more untrue.

" No Dimitri." I said after a minute. " I don't want you to say anything. You have said everything you need to say to me. You have made me not want anything to do with you anymore. You finally made me realize that you and I being together is impossible and would never work. I am a guardian now. I have my charge and my baby to think about. You have done what I thought was impossible. Love fades, mine has. My life has no room for you in it anymore, so just forget about me and everything that happened at St. Vladimir's."

With that I turned and made my way to guardian headquarters again. I didn't bother to look back at him, I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to walk away. I heard footsteps behind me but did not bother looking because I didn't want anyone seeing the tears running down my face. Suddenly someone grabbed my hand and turned me around. Before I could see who it was, I had lips on mine. They felt so familiar, I knew it was Dimitri.

It was exactly how I remembered. The same passion, the same amount of love and gentleness. All of that at the same time as the pure animalistic lust and firmness. He deepened the kiss and put his hand at the bottom of my neck and put the other around my lower back pulling me closer to him. I wish I could say I didn't enjoy the kiss, that I didn't want to keep it going on forever, but I couldn't. I wanted it to go on forever. I wanted to tell him I did not mean it and that I wanted him and I and our baby to be a family. But just then he pulled away slowly looking me in the eye.

" I love you Roza. I will do anything and everything for you. Please don't give up on us."

"What about our baby?"

" Roza, I don't want to know whose baby it is but please don't say it's mine. I will raise them as if they are mine along with you but…." SMACK!

I smack him right across the face. He just looked at me shocked.

"You are unbelievable right now! You claim to love me, yet you will not accept that this is your baby!" I paused for a moment and pushed him back by his chest.

"Rose, it's genetically impossible for us to have a child together. Everyone knows that."

"Ya, and it's also supposed to be impossible for someone to come back from the dead, but here I am. Hell if you look at things from the human world, our entire world is impossible." I sighed calming down a little. "Look, I don't know how, but spirit changed me in more ways then one Dimitri. If you choose to believe me or not is your choice, but I am telling you if you don't you will be missing out on your child's life. It's not even about me and you anymore."

He stood silently looking at me, trying to see if I was lying.

" I'm sorry Guardian Belikov. I am sticking with what I said yesterday. You and I are done. The only thing that will happen between you and I, if you choose, is parenting our child. My feelings may not be completely gone but they will fade completely eventually. I'll see you later if you're still here."

With that I turned and walked for a bit then right into headquarters.