Chapter Nine: Ain't No Thing

Ain't No Thing

The next morning, Glenn and Daryl went out first to survey the area in the light of day and take out any walkers that we had missed the night before. As I looked in the mirror in the bathroom, I flinched at the sight of my neck. There was no hiding that from Willa. My fingers gently roamed over the purple and blue line, the edges a dim brown shade. While it still hurt to swallow and speak at length, the abrasion was less raised than just a few hours before. When I joined Hershel and Rick in the living room, they were both looking over a map, Hershel pointing out a backroad.

"We'd spot anyone following us," Rick said to Hershel.

Hershel didn't seem entirely convinced, but he nodded. "It is the safer way," he said, referring to the way we had come.

"And faster," Rick added. He was ready to get back to Carl and Lori. I couldn't blame him; I was getting anxious being away from Willa and Addy this long. Everyone must be worried sick about us by now.

"All clear," Glenn said as he and Daryl walked through the door. "Car's loaded and ready to go."

Hershel put his hand on my shoulder. "Let's go back home." I smiled sweetly and put my hand on top of his.

The five of us quickly made our way back to the car and Daryl's motorcycle, all of us extremely eager to get back to the farm. The events from the previous night weighed heavily on our shoulders, leaving us feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. No one spoke as we loaded up, but Daryl lingered in front of his bike. We made eye contact and he nodded once at me. I poked my head into the passenger front seat where Glenn was sitting. "I'm going to ride with Daryl," I said.

"Shouldn't you tell your uncle," he said as he nodded towards Hershel's truck.

I heard his truck start, and shook my head. "No. But maybe you should tell him when you plan on sneaking into Maggie's room again." Glenn laughed nervously, looking to Rick and then back to me. Rick and I exchanged amused glances before I turned on my heel to join Daryl. I made a mental note to take it easy on Glenn. He probably had no idea what he was getting himself into when he and Maggie first started hooking up.

Daryl was already straddling his bike when I stood in front of him. "Don't happen to have one of those handy shirt sleeves right about now, do you?" He titled his head to the side, not knowing where I was going with it. "You know, a redneck scarf."

He grinned slightly, but shook his head. "Ya comin' or what?" I rolled my eyes slightly as I climbed behind him, immediately resting my hands around his waist. He straightened his back slightly under my touch, but as soon as he turned the throttle, he relaxed into me. "Ya know," he said. "Ya wouldn't be able to hide that from yur sister for long."

I don't know about that. She once hid a hickey from Hershel and Annette for three days in the middle of summer. I'd like to think I was just as resourceful as she is.

"Ready?"

"Uh-huh," I said as I rested my chin on his right shoulder.

He turned his face to the side and gave me his half grin, half smirk that almost made me forget about the night we had. He didn't wait for Rick to pull out, instead, Daryl darted forward and moments later, we were leading the way to the farm. I tried not to look at Hershel as we passed by him, but I caught a glimpse of his surprised and slightly annoyed facial expression.

I buried my face in between Daryl's wide shoulders and took in a deep breath. With my arms wrapped around him, the memory of last night only floated through my thoughts instead of being all that I could focus on. It was a welcomed break since that's all I could think about last night as I sat in the window seat. Rick had woken half way through the night to relieve Daryl. Even though Daryl let Rick take his place, he wasn't able to sleep either. I felt his eyes on me most of the night after that, wondering if he was going to say anything. He never did.

"Got a welcomin' committee," Daryl said over the sound of the wind.

I raised my head to see T, Lori, Andrea, Shane, Dale, and Carol standing next to the car Shane had taken possession of a while back. Daryl and I barely rolled into the driveway before Maggie, Willa, Addy, Carl, and Sophia came running from inside the house.

Daryl came to a stop and I awkwardly climbed off his bike. "Ain't no thing," he reassured me.

I squeezed his hand as a thank you before kneeling down to Addy as she ran into my arms. "Aunt Lottie!" She yelled.

I scooped her up and pulled back slightly so that we were eye level. "You didn't miss me, did you?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

I looked over to see Willa bringing Daryl into a hug. "Thank you," she said to him once she pulled back.

Daryl rubbed the back of his neck and murmured, "It ain't nothin'," to her.

Her smile traveled from the bashful redneck to me and slowly, as she walked closer to me, her smile faded. "Oh, Charlie, what happened?" She asked as she pulled me into a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around Addy and I and I could feel her relief.

"It isn't a thing," I said, paraphrasing Daryl's words. I looked at him and he gave me a court nod.

"Still," she said.

"How's Beth?" I asked.

"She has an IV and I sedated her this morning so her organs wouldn't work too hard."

I bit my inner cheek. I thought Beth would have snapped out of it by now. "So she hasn't eaten?"

Willa shook her head. She put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad you're back in one piece," she said before walking towards Hershel.

Maggie ran past both me and Hershel to get to Glenn, who from the looks of it, didn't return her enthusiastic greeting.

"Why were you gone for so long?" Addy asked as I put her down.

"We ran into trouble," I said honestly.

Her eyes got wide and she gestured to my neck. "Is that why that happened?"

I nodded. "But we all made it back." I looked up to see Patricia leading Hershel towards the house, obviously to see about Beth.

"Who's shirt is this?" Willa asked me as she pulled on the sleeve. My eyes fluttered to Daryl before looking at her. Willa let out a deep breath and told Addy to help Sophia and Carl with getting eggs out of the chicken pen.

I stood in front of Daryl, catching his gaze. "I'm going to check on Beth, but could we talk-"

Willa cleared her throat to get our attention as she looked between Daryl and me. She held her stomach as she spoke. "Just… be careful."

"Oh god," I murmured as I turned my attention to Willa and grabbed her arm to lead her away. I looked over my shoulder at Daryl. "I'll see you later." Daryl rubbed the back of his neck and nodded at me, not saying a word. I looked at Willa. "Why?"

"We don't need another pregnancy."

"Okay, one, I have the thing," I said as I gestured to my arm. "And two, we aren't having sex."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Really?"

"Don't sound so happy about it."

"So you want to be?" She asked as we walked through the front door.

I sighed. "You're such a nurse. Always trying to get the latest gossip," I teased.

I tried to act the part I had been given at birth- the younger "carefree" sister that was always quick to make jokes. It was my coping mechanism since my brutal childhood abuse and has stuck with me ever since. I made light of all the inhumanity I had experienced, but I had never felt that I was the inhumane part. I had been a victim for most of my life, and unlike a lot of survivors of trauma, I didn't look at the word "victim" as something to be ashamed of. True, I didn't broadcast my traumas and even my sister didn't know I was victim of rape and multiple sexual molestations, but as a victim, I clung to the fact that I had survived. I not only survived the beatings, cigarette burns, and sexual assaults, but I had overcome them. First, I was a victim. Second, I was a survivor. And third, I was a conqueror. That didn't mean that sometimes I didn't relapse or have episodes that left me incapacitated, because I did. Throw me into a closet and believe me, it'll be a recipe for disaster. Still, never through all of that did I ever feel that I was the one who made someone else a victim. That's when the word left a sour taste in my mouth. I had killed a man, regardless if it was to save my life; I had taken someone's life and by doing so, I had made someone that.

As I stood next to Beth's bed, I saw that she was now a victim. Maybe she was a victim of circumstance, but moreover, she was a victim who had very little fight left in her. I could see it as she finally forced herself to sit up upon Hershel's arrival. Her eyes were blank and she looked at Hershel, Maggie, Patricia, Willa, Jimmy, and me. "Let's give her some room," I suggested, looking at everyone other than Hershel. She was medically in the clear as long as she didn't refuse food. She had suffered so drastically that it had left her body in shock. Now, it was time for her to recover and her to survive. Looking at my teenage cousin, I didn't know if she had that in her. She was vacant of that light that I had seen in myself and in Carol's eyes, the strong will to move past the moments that threatened to define you for the rest of your life.

I excused myself quickly to shower, relieved to finally get the remainder of dried blood off of me. I folded Daryl's shirt and set it to the side, away from my blood stained jeans and shoes. The simple act of looking at his shirt as I stepped into the shower pushed away some of the self-loathing thoughts I was possessing. His words replayed through my head as I scrubbed my hair with Willa's lavender scent shampoo. Finally, I could smell something more than iron and I sighed in relief. With the water running down my back, I placed my palms on the shower tile and stared at the back of my hands. These hands had been trained to help keep people alive and I had made it my sole mission in life to do so. I opted out on traveling, making lasting friendships, and finding love so that I could dedicate myself to the cause. Now, I felt lost. These same hands had willingly taken a life. Did it matter that I felt that I had no other choice? I hadn't killed him in cold blood, but was that just something the courts had invented? Was taking a life the same no matter the circumstance?

I don't remember stepping out of the shower, but suddenly I was looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes darted to my throat and I thought about what if I hadn't killed him. Would Hershel had? Glenn? Rick? Would Daryl have killed him after he found us and saw what that man had done to me? Daryl. For some reason he made me feel that what I had done was okay, and it wasn't the words that he had spoken, but rather how those words had made me feel. I didn't want to leave my family, obviously, but something a little less obvious was that I didn't want to leave him.

Despite my rather embarrassing moment of weakness where I word vomited my feelings about him to him and his lack of reciprocation, I still wanted to get to know him more. I don't feel as if our time is finished, but rather it has not yet to fully begin. I don't know if it was the near death experience that made me feel this way, or if it was just the lack of promises for tomorrow; but, despite all the opaqueness, one thing was clear and that was the fact that I had deep feelings for Daryl. My feelings had surpassed what I originally thought they were- lust mixed with the idea of being with someone like Daryl. He was strong, a survivor of trauma, and a good man. It was difficult not to care for someone like that, but now I realized it was even stronger than I had imagined.

I scoffed at my reflection as I came to this realization. How cliche was it that I would have an epitome after what happened? I almost hated myself for it, and I probably would have if, ironically, it hadn't been for Daryl's words. I would never forget the man that I had killed and I know his face would plague both my conscious and subconscious, but I hoped it would. Taking a life was no trivial matter, and I needed to be reminded of that and of him.

…

The next few days passed by without incident. I had opted to recluse myself into the bedroom that I shared with Addy and Willa for most of those seventy-two hours. Willa knew something had happened at the pub, and I wasn't entirely sure that Hershel hadn't filled her in, but she hadn't spoken to me about it if he had. She would linger in the doorway, but when I rolled over and turned my back to her, she would take the hint and let me be. Addy had asked me to read the papers that she, Sophia, and Carl had finished regarding our latest science project, and even though I had promised that I would, the papers remained untouched. Beth was now out of her bed and although she hadn't returned to her normal self, she was forcing herself to go through the motions of her life prior to the barn shoot out. Maggie was still complaining about Glenn, even coming into my bedroom to discuss it. I nodded and insisted it would all work out, but I couldn't offer her any real advice.

After Addy and Willa had dressed for the day, I finally made my way out of the bedroom and slipped out the side door downstairs. Even though I was coming to terms with killing a man, I wasn't ready to face the group, least of all my family. I felt the need to protect them from what I had done. I just needed another few days, a week top.

I bit my lower lip as I sat on the edge of the porch, my legs hanging off the side. The fresh air filled my lungs and I leaned back, resting on my elbows as I closed my eyes. The wind blew and the strands of hair that fell from my messy bun tickled the sides of my face. It felt nice, being outside and being alone. Still, there was a twinge in my gut that was difficult to place, but I knew it had to do with Daryl. I hadn't seen him since the morning we returned from town but my mind wandered to him, especially while I slept, which had been nearly fourteen hours a day.

I'm not sure how long I was on the porch like that, because the next thing I knew, Willa was standing over me. "Are you sick?" She asked, waking me.

My eyes fluttered open and I pulled my legs to sit cross legged as I sat up. "No," I answered, rubbing my eyes.

She sat down beside me, putting the laundry basket to her side. "I did your laundry and-"

"You didn't have to do that," I said quickly, feeling guilty.

She ignored what I had said and handed me the picture that I had taken off the man I had killed. I looked down at his face, his daughters' faces, and then his wife's beautiful smile. "Found this in your jeans."

I swallowed hard, my emotions teetering between embarrassment and rage. "Can't I get a little bit of privacy around here?"

She looked taken back, her eyes wide and her mouth forming a straight line. "You didn't really give me much of a choice," she said quickly. "Between leaving your blood stained clothes in the bathroom we share with my daughter and your sudden hermit routine-"

"Three days," I said. "I've been distant for three days." I tore my eyes from the photo and focused on a tree shaped cloud in the sky.

"Can I ask why?"

I cleared my throat, the sensitivity, though present in my throat, was manageable. "Just needed some time to myself."

She shifted her weight as she turned to face me, no longer offering me her profile. "Something happened in town?"

I nodded.

"With your neck?"

I nodded again.

"I've heard you talking in your sleep," she admitted. "You wake up a few times a night crying."

I didn't need the play-by-play. I was well aware. "Sorry."

"No," she said quickly. "You don't apologize for that. It reminds me of when you left New Orleans," she said, referring to my aunt and uncle's

house where I lived for four years before running away and finding myself at Hershel's front door. Thing is this was nothing like then. Then I didn't sleep, at all, for weeks. When I was finally able to sleep, it was for maybe an hour at a time. I was constantly screaming when I did manage to find REM cycle.

I turned to her. "I was attacked."

I could tell she was trying to reign in her look of horror as she looked at me. She nodded slowly, taking in what I had told her. "I'd figured as much," she admitted. "Just didn't know for sure." She paused. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Why didn't I tell her about being raped thirteen years ago? I was trying to protect her then and now. I didn't know what she could handle.

"Because… I killed him," I said as I gestured to the man in the picture.

She let out a small gasp, but recovered quickly by pulling me into her. "Better him than you, Lottie," she said, already knowing that I had no other choice. Of all the people here, she knew me the best and she knew how highly I valued human life. "A thousand times over," she added.

I wrapped my arms around her and fought back tears. "It's just really… really fucking with me," I admitted.

She pulled back to study my face. "You wouldn't be you if it didn't." I smiled slightly, appreciating her words. I don't know why I thought she couldn't make sense of what I had done. She took everything else in stride, why would this be different? "So that's what's gotten you locked up in the room?"

I nodded, and I didn't miss her raised eyebrows in response. "Why?" I asked. "What else would it be?"

She shrugged before turning to the laundry basket and rummaging through it. A moment later, she handed me Daryl's shirt that he had lent me that night.

I picked up on what she was suggesting. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Didn't have to. He's been… hanging around more than usual."

I placed his shirt in my lap and ran my fingers over it. "I told him that I had feelings… and he didn't say anything."

"Kind of like Glenn?" She asked. "With Maggie."

I hadn't thought of it that way. Glenn didn't say he loved Maggie back because he wasn't sure if her feelings were valid and because he was scared

of what that meant if she did love him and he loved her. I raised my eyebrows and let out a small, "Hm."

Willa smiled and shook her head. "I'd never thought I'd see you pining after someone."

I looked at her, shocked. "Never?"

"Never," she answered. "You were always so focused on your career and then most of your free time, you spent with Addy, Danny, and I." She paused. "I know you have been with men and whatever it is that you did in the call room with them," she grinned, "but this with Daryl looks different from the outside." She paused. "And something tells me that maybe neither one of you are fully equipped to venture into a relationship right now." She put her hand on my shoulder. "He cares about you, I'm sure of it, just by the way he acted when he found out you hadn't made it back from town the other day."

"But?" I asked, a knot forming in my stomach.

"But…," she continued. "Maybe you both should take it slow." She paused. "I know there's this impending doom with the end of the world," she said lightly, "that adds to the desire to expedite things, but maybe let nature take its course."

I looked at her and I knew where she was coming from and it made sense. I couldn't be one hundred percent on board with it because I did feel passionately about him, but I could definitely step back and let him catch up to where I was. I had never been a patient person, and in my "love life" it hadn't really mattered because I was never fully interested in any of the men that I was with. They were all fleeting moments and when they were gone, I found myself not missing their company. However, as I sat her with Will talking about Daryl, I longed to be near him.

"If I get friend zoned, I'm blaming you," I joked as I pushed myself to my feet. Extending my free hand to Willa, I helped her to stand.

"Where are you going?" She asked as I stepped off the porch.

"This is literally the only shirt with sleeves that Daryl has. I'm sure he's missing it."

Willa rolled her eyes. "Did you listen to anything I said?"

"Yeah, totes," I joked as I started walking away. I turned my head over my shoulder and called out to her. "Thanks, seriously," I said all joking aside.

The moment I walked around the house towards the part of the yard where Rick's group had made camp, I noticed Carol, Lori, and Dale following me with their eyes. I forced a smile as I waved to them. Each of them did the same and then went about their business. Lori was peeling carrots as

Carol hung wet clothes. Dale made his way back to the top of the RV to keep watch.

"Charlie," Glenn's voice said from behind me. I turned to face him, slightly surprised by the urgency in his voice. "I'm sorry, but I can't keep any more secrets."

I titled my head to the side slightly. "Yeah, by all means." I had no idea what he was talking about, but if he was this worked up over it, he needed to get it off his chest.

"I don't want to lie to Maggie anymore."

I put my hands in the back pockets of my blue jean shorts and nodded. It made sense. "Then tell her how you feel. She told you first, that should make it easier."

He shook his head. "Wait, what?" He paused. "No, I mean about you and Daryl. Hooking up."

I rubbed my nose, trying to conceal my smile. "We didn't… we aren't… Daryl and I are just friends."

He leaned towards me, getting into my personal space. "But the other night in town."

I let out a deep breath, but I figured I owed Glenn the truth. "He helped me to find the man that I…," I paused as I broke eye contact with Glenn, "you know… he was a walker. I needed to see who he was."

Glenn rubbed the back of his neck and nodded slowly. "Oh, damn. Yeah, I'm sorry. I just assumed."

I forced my gaze from Daryl's tent to Glenn. "It's fine," I said quickly. "Bright side, you haven't been lying to Maggie about that." I rocked back and forth on my heels. "So… did you tell her yet?"

He squirmed a little and shrugged. "I'm working on it." When I didn't reply, Glenn looked flustered. "What?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. "It's none of my business." I started walking backwards towards Daryl's tent. "Just remember that, other people's

relationships or lack therefore of, are no one's business but theirs."

"Yeah, yeah," he said before jogging towards Maggie, who was waiting for him outside the fence.

As I stood in front of Daryl's tent, I began to feel… stupid, to put it poetically. I bit my lower lip and stepped backwards. I was about to turn on my heels and head back to the house when I felt a pair of strong hands on my arms. I looked over my shoulder and turned to see Daryl standing in front of me with a smirk.

"Thought ya took off, Cherry."

I grinned, crossing my arms. "Got halfway to Albuquerque and forgot that shirts with sleeves are in short supply around here." I handed him his folded t-shirt.

Daryl took the item of clothing and nodded, still sporting that same smirk. Placing it over his shoulder, he tossed down his bag and wiped the sweat from his brow. By the looks of him, he had been hunting. He murmured a thank you, unzipping his tent. He turned to grab his bag and when he did, a small wooden box fell out.

I knelt down to pick it up, realizing it was handcrafted and half-way finished. The smooth, spiral details and carefully constructed flower petals were breathtaking. "This is beautiful," I said, gently running my fingers over the center. Daryl bit his thumb nail as he looked at me admiring the work. "Did you do this?"

He shrugged. "Shit, it ain't nothin'."

I handed him the box and looked at him questionably. I understood the pull to be modest, but by his tone, he really believed that this was something anyone could do. I had been to local markets and fairs and something so delicately stunning would run for a couple hundred dollars, easy. "It's okay to shine," I said softly. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that?"

For a moment, his eyes got big, as if taking in what I had said. He recovered quickly and tossed the box onto his sleeping bag and scoffed. "We weren't raised the same way."

I shrugged. "Yes and no." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Enlighten me," I said as I made myself comfortable on the ground in front of his tent.

Daryl stood there, awkwardly for a moment before joining me. He pulled his legs up and rested his elbows on his knees. "Got nothin' of interest to say."

I glanced at him and pursed my lips together. "I don't believe that for a second." When he didn't budge, I leaned back, resting on my elbows.

"Okay, I'll guess."

He looked over his shoulder at me. "This should be good."

"You're impulsive."

No response. He looked in front of him so that I couldn't see his face.

"You can be hostile and distant," I said slowly.

No response.

"You've always been an outsider… until now."

No response.

"You're all those things because you had to grow up too quickly without knowing the luxury of relying on someone else for safety and comfort."

He scoffed and tossed a weed, that he had pulled, to the side. "Ya got me all figured out, huh?" I couldn't read his tone. Although I was fairly certain I hadn't angered him, I couldn't be for sure.

"Not at all," I answered honestly. "That explains why you're resourceful and an expert at hunting and tracking. It doesn't explain why you're the first one to put his life on the line for someone else, nor does it explain how you can be so...

He turned to look at me over his shoulder.

My eyes flickered from his wide shoulders when he turned to look at me. "Gentle."

He smirked, not sure how to take the compliment, or maybe trying to figure it if was really a compliment to him. "Guess ya ain't the only one who's full of surprises."

I smiled. "Guess not, tiger."

"What about ya?" He asked me.

"What about me?"

He shrugged. "Ya didn't live here yur whole life?"

"Oh, no…" I said slowly. "Willa and I lived in Atlanta with our parents until I was nine."

"Yur folks…"

I nodded. "We were leaving my dad's favorite pizza place. My mom hated it, but it was three against one so she caved," I smiled remembering how we had begged and she finally agreed.

Daryl returned my smile, if only to make me feel safe as I told the rest of the story.

"I always got car sick, and sometimes my mom would sit in the back with Willa so that I could sit up front." I paused thinking about how that night, I asked my mom to trade places with me when we stopped for gas. My father's driving was never the issue, I just couldn't deal well with motion sickness. "It happened so fast. My dad didn't have time to react to the driver who barreled through the red light. Guy was wasted and driving this huge red Chevy. He hit the driver's side, slamming into my dad and my mom, who was sitting behind him." I let out a deep breath, remembering the smell of the blood. "My dad died on impact, but my mom… she suffered. I remember unbuckling my seat belt and I fell, head first into this puddle of warmth… it was my dad's blood." I shuddered, trying to get the image out of my head. "Willa pulled me out of the truck and told me that everything was going to be okay. She was only thirteen and yet she sprung into action." I bit my inner cheek, trying not to dwell on the memory. "Some things never change, I guess."

Daryl faced forward again, but I could tell he had something to say. "My dad was a mean fuckin' drunk." He paused. "He drove my momma to drink, too. One night, they were both lit and she fell asleep, smokin' a cigarette. Burned the damn house down with her in it."

I sat up, the air fleeting from my lungs. "Where were you?"

"Me and Merle were in the woods. He stole a tent from an outside store display and we were tryin' it out." He picked another weed and tossed it.

"So ya came here after yur folks?" He asked before I had time to say anything.

"No, I went to live in New Orleans with my mother's sister and her husband." I cleared my throat. "That's where those scars and night terrors came

from," I added slowly, my voice low.

I pushed myself up when I saw Lori running towards the RV. Her eyes were wide and when she saw me, she let out a sigh of relief. "Have you seen Maggie or Hershel?"

"Maggie and Glenn went that way," Andrea said as she looked down at us from the RV, keeping watch. "About ten minutes ago."

"Can you find her?"

"Of course," Andrea replied.

Now, I was on my feet and walking towards the panicked mother. "What is it?"

"I think you need to go talk to Beth."

Beth? I looked back at Daryl before starting on a light jog towards the house. The moment I walked through the foyer, I heard Willa's voice coming from upstairs. I skipped up the steps two at a time to get to Beth's room faster, having no idea what I was walking into. I looked over her quickly, to see Beth sitting on the edge of her bed, staring straight ahead as Willa knelt in front of the teenage girl.

Beth didn't acknowledge my entrance, nor did she seem to hear Willa telling her that her life was worth living and that every single moment of one's life isn't going to be easy; it's how one pushes through those heartbreaking times that counts. It didn't take long for me to realize that Beth had thoughts of suicide. I lingered in the doorway, with my arms crossed, as Willa tried to get through to Beth.

Moments later, Maggie brushed past me and found a spot next to Willa. Her eyes scanned her sister's and she let out a small cry when Willa quietly told her what had happened. The original trio of the Greene girls sat in a small circle, Maggie now taking the lead. I stepped back, feeling like I was suddenly spying on them. I didn't share the same connection they did with one another and definitely not with Beth. I barely got to know Beth before I left for college and then she was so young, it was difficult to find any common ground. Willa was always a mother figure of sorts to the young girl and so was Maggie in a way. I, however, lacked all the maternal bones that they seemed to have been born with.

I made my way to the living room and was about to go look for Hershel when I heard Willa coming down the stairs. "Thought they needed some time alone," she said as she walked past me to the basket of laundry.

I joined Willa and helped her fold while the shouting from upstairs grew louder. "Sounds about right," I said as I carefully folded Willa's favorite yellow t-shirt. Willa remained silent, but nodded. She had said her peace to Beth, but it was obvious that Beth had other ideas. "Do you think she'll try it?" I asked.

"That's morbid," Willa said, slightly angered. I was genuinely taken off guard by her reaction. "Of course she's not," she said quickly. "She's just… lost." Willa turned over a white t-shirt and sighed. "This rust stain still didn't come out."

"I'll grab the bleach pen," I said, wanting to give Willa some space. Her reaction to Beth's cry for help wasn't unusual, but for her it was.

"You were wrong to take that knife away," Andre was telling Lori as I walked into the kitchen.

I kept my reaction to myself and quickly retrieved the pen, not wanting to be anywhere near this conversation. I had strong opinions on the matter and something told me that Andrea and I wouldn't see eye-to-eye.

"I'm sorry," Lori said, not believing what she was hearing.

"If she wants to survive, she has to find her own reasons."

I scoffed, walking out of the kitchen and rejoining Willa in the living room. "Do you think Maggie would want us to go back up there?" She asked as I plopped down on the couch after tossing her the bleach pen. I could tell that she didn't want to discuss the possibility of Beth trying to take her own life, so she was projecting, focusing on something that wasn't impossible to control.

I listened to the continual yells above us and leaned back. "No, I'd say she has it." I paused, hearing Lori and Andrea's conversation that had taken on raised voices as well. I wasn't the biggest fan of either Lori or Andrea to be honest. Lori was kind, but there was something about her, the way she acted that made me think she used her influence to manipulate others in their group. And Andrea wanted to be "one of the guys" so badly that it all but screamed middle school drama. Listening to them argue about who was doing more on the farm was nauseating. It wasn't until Andrea walked out, yelling at Lori so sarcastically to "tell Beth to look on the bright side" it made my skin crawl that I felt compelled to say something.

I pushed myself off the couch and followed Andrea outside to the porch. I don't know what it was that made me snap, maybe hearing the

repulsiveness in Willa's voice or the way Maggie was pleading with Beth, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut with Andrea was spitting out useless garbage.

"Here's the thing," I said. "Beth has had a really hard couple of weeks. She's a sixteen year old girl who just lost her mother and brother and has witnessed the world going to shit. Maybe Dale was wrong to take away your gun," I paused. "Only because you're an adult, your brain has formed completely and you have had more life experiences than Beth. She is still a child. You don't get to be a suicide advocate because you thought about killing yourself once." I stepped closer to her. "You come near Beth with your misguided words of wisdom and you're going to have a really bad day."

Andrea's face filled with shock and she took a step backwards. "Really? Coming from you that's rich."

"And why's that?"

"You're always running around here, putting yourself where you don't belong. Seemed like you had a death wish."

I scoffed. "Surprised you noticed while you sit on top of the RV all day, and what was it that Lori said you were doing? Working on your tan?" Her

eyes narrowed, but before she had a chance to say anything, I continued. "But I get it, you pull your weight." I brushed past Andrea, heading no where in particular until I regained my composure. It felt cheap to threaten Andrea, but I felt she was the one who overstepped, not Lori.

Laughter coming from the stables caught my attention, pulling me out of my train of thought. I peaked my head in and saw Addy, Carl, and Sophia. "Sorry to rain on the parade, but you guys know you aren't supposed to be in here without an adult."

"We have an adult," Addy said.

"I don't count. I just walked in," I said.

"Not you," Carl said. "Daryl."

Daryl emerged from a stable with a bail of hay. "Thought they should learn how to take care of the horses."

I crossed my arms and nodded. "Yeah, I think Willa and Lori both have been saying the same thing for weeks now."

Daryl shrugged.

I smiled to myself as I looked at Daryl and then the three kids he was taking under in his wing. "So, what have you learned?"

"Horses need to eat small meals throughout the day, like grass and hay," Sophia said.

"They also need to be around other horses and be allowed to roam," Addy said.

"And their teeth grow all the time and the sharp points of their teeth can make it painful for them to eat. So you have to check for that a couple

times a year."

I was thoroughly impressed, not with just their retention of the knowledge, but how they looked excited to learn something. From my own experience, excitement came from the teacher more than the actual information. I nodded. "Yeah, all that sounds great." I looked to Daryl, who didn't want to be praised, so he had turned to put away the hay.

"Can we go for a ride?" Carl asked.

"That's something you'll have to ask your moms."

"Can I?" Addy asked me.

I grinned, but put my hands up in a defensive position. "Moms," I reiterated. "Not aunts."

She pouted, but nodded. "Let's go ask," she said to Carl and Sophia. Before I could coax them in another direction, like how to clean the stable, they all took off towards the house. I laughed lightly, looking in Daryl's direction.

"They caught on," he said as he brushed his hands off on his jeans.

I leaned against the door, propping my boot up on the ledge. "I don't know how you got them to listen; it's like pulling teeth some days."

He shrugged. "I didn't learn nothin' unless I could use my hands."

I followed Daryl out of the stables. "Makes sense," I said.

"Not like ya would understand," he said as he turned back to wink at me. "Bet ya even skipped a grade."

"Yeah," I shrugged, my face blushing at the wink, not the accusation. "A couple."

He laughed to himself quietly. "I ain't surprised."

Our attention was brought to Rick and Shane, who had just pulled into the driveway. They looked a little worse for wear, but based on their tones, they were in good spirits.

"Everything go okay out there?" I asked Rick.

Rick watched Shane walk past Daryl and I before he turned his attention to us. "Yeah," he said. "Are y'all up for a run tomorrow morning? We found a mega-pharmacy. Could be some useful things there."

"Yeah, for sure," I replied.

Daryl nodded.

Rick's relief was plastered across his face. I couldn't tell if it was from us agreeing to go or from him actually finding somewhere that looked promising for us to scavenge. "Alright, I'll spread the word."

"Word about what?" Andrea asked as she approached us.

"Run tomorrow morning," Rick said before excusing himself to the house to look for Lori. Andrea followed him, but was stopped by Maggie as she

made her way down the steps. Rick ducked inside before he could find out why Maggie looked so angry.

"Where were you?" Maggie yelled at Andrea. "You were supposed to watch her."

"Is she okay?" Andrea asked, genuine concern in her voice. "How bad is it?"

I walked towards the commotion, my hands starting to sweat with anticipation and concern. What had Beth done?

"She cut her wrists, it's not deep but-"

Andrea sported a small smile. "You have your answer," she said. "She wants to live."

"My dad is in there stitching her wrists up. She tried to kill herself."

"No, no she didn't," Andrea argued. "She made her choice to live."

I rushed past Andrea and stood next to Maggie to show my support. I couldn't imagine what Maggie was going through. Beth had made the choice to live, yes, but she had hurt Maggie in the process. Now, Maggie felt the need to be even more protective over her little sister as she told Andrea that she was no longer welcomed inside the house. I put my arm around Maggie and led her inside, away from everyone's prying eyes. I turned over my shoulder and caught Daryl's gaze. He nodded in my direction and I replied with a small smile.

The moment the door closed behind us, Maggie fell to pieces in my arms. I knelt down beside her, letting her cry into my shoulder as I rubbed her back. It was going to be a rough night in the Greene house.

...

So, I have decided to upload one larger chapter a week, instead of two smaller ones. I feel like the chapters actually flow a little better this way. However, I'm open to changing it up!

There is some foreshadowing in this chapter, so keep your eyes out for it in chapter ten.

We're going to see A LOT more action in these next few chapters, too. Most of the new character development is set so I feel comfortable involving more action-packed scenes.

Anyone have any guesses about when Daryl and Charlie will finally "get together"? I'd love to hear them!