Chapter Twenty-Four: And in That Moment, I Swear We Were Infinite

Sirius opened his eyes. Fuck, his neck was so stiff. Actually, all of him was. He was sitting on the bathroom floor. Remus was asleep, draped mostly across him. It all came back to him. Remus had wanted to cut, Sirius hadn't let him. They must have fallen asleep.

He felt Remus stirring.

"What the hell?" the younger boy said softly.

Sirius yawned and stretched. "I don't know."

"What time is it?"

"Also no clue. I just woke up."

Remus shrugged, then realized he was still mostly on Sirius. He blushed bright red and quickly slid off his lap. Sirius pouted, but Remus wouldn't look at him.

Sirius grabbed Remus's hand. "Hey, it's ok," he said, smiling.

Remus smiled shyly back. "We should probably figure out what time it is and shit."

Sirius nodded. He stood up, stretching more as he did. There was a scribbled note stuck to the inside of the door. He picked it up and read it out loud. "We figured it was probably best to let you sleep. Don't forget we have Astronomy at 1:00. James."

Remus opened the bathroom door. James and Peter were both asleep, fully dressed, presumably napping before Astronomy. The clock on Remus's bedside table said 10:45.

"Damn, we slept for a long time," said Sirius, peering into the room over Remus's shoulder. "I'm hungry. You want to go to the kitchens to get food?"

Remus looked at him. "It's way past curfew. If we get caught, you'll be in even more trouble."

"Shit," gasped Sirius, paling. "I slept through detention. McGonagall is going to skin me alive."

"My condolences," said Remus sarcastically, patting Sirius's arm.

Sirius shrugged. "Might as well go out with a bang," he said. "Let's go get food."

He pulled Remus across the bedroom and out into the common room. The embers of the fire were dying down, casting long shadows across the room. The pair quickly left and started for the kitchens.

"You know," said Remus, "you're a really fucking bad influence on me, Sirius Black."

Sirius stopped walking and looked at Remus. "I can't help it," he said, looking deeply into Remus's eyes.

And then, he was kissing Remus, and Remus was kissing him back. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck. They stumbled back, until Remus hit the wall. Sirius pulled Remus closer, his hands wrapped around him.

They were standing in a little alcove, a little bit of starlight shining in through the window, illuminating them just enough. Sirius pulled back and brushed Remus's hair out of his face, his thumbs resting on Remus's face. "I fucking love," he whispered.

Remus smiled, then pulled Sirius down, meeting him in the middle with another searing kiss. He felt Sirius grin, then felt Sirius's tongue along his lower lip and Sirius's hands dipping even lower on Remus's hips.

Nothing else mattered, nothing else even existed. It was just Remus and Sirius and the kiss. And that was just right for both of them. Finally, Sirius broke the kiss, panting a little bit. He pressed his forehead against Remus's, and they just stood there. And in that moment, Remus swore they were infinite.

"You want to go get that food now?" asked Sirius quietly.

Remus nodded. Sirius took his hand, and the couple made their way down to the kitchens in silence, making sure to avoid any teachers or prefects that might be on patrol.

When they got the painting concealing the door, Sirius tickled the giant pear, then gallantly opened the door and bowed deeply, motioning Remus inside. Remus stepped in, with Sirius on his heels.

Once again, Sirius took hold of Remus's hand, and they walked in. "Hello?" called Sirius softly.

A small house elf popped up in front of them. "Hello, kind Sirs!" she said eagerly. "My name is being Missy! What is you needing tonight?"

Sirius grinned, pulling Remus forward. "My boyfriend and I missed dinner. We were wondering if we could have a little something?"

Missy gasped, her eyes growing even wider, as she looked from Sirius to Remus and back again. "Boyfriends? You is being the most adorable couple! I is going to be right back with plenty of food!"

Sirius thanked her, and she popped away, no doubt going to get them more food than they could possibly eat.

All of Remus's insides had jumped when he heard Sirius call him his boyfriend. He was pretty sure that he was blushing a little bit. It still felt so surreal. He looked over at Sirius and, standing on his tip-toes, gave him a soft kiss. "Love you," he whispered.

Sirius grinned down at him. "I love you more."

Remus smiled. "I love you most."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Remus pressed a finger against his lips and shook his head. "Nope. I win," he said smugly.

"That's not fair," whined Sirius.

Remus shrugged, thinking of a response. He didn't have to, it turned out, because Missy popped back. "I is preparing you two some food! If Sirs will go to the table over there," she said, gesturing to a single table against the wall, I will be bringing it right over to you."

Sirius led the way, sitting down across from Remus. Missy brought them a heaping pile of warm bread and tender steak, covered in juice and carrots and potatoes. "Would Sirs be liking anything to drink?" she asked.

"Could we have a little bit of wine?" Sirius asked. "Red, please?"

Missy shook her head. "I is not supposed to be giving wine to students," she said sadly.

"Please?" begged Sirius. "Just a little bit?"

Missy shook her head again.

Sirius sighed, then motioned her closer. Remus frowned at him, slightly confused. "It's our first date," Sirius whispered.

Missy gasped loudly. "I can be bringing you just a little bit," she said. "But you is not to be telling Professor Dumblydore or anyone about it!" She shook her finger at Sirius, and he nodded sincerely.

She popped away, then back in a few seconds, with two glasses of red wine. "You be enjoying your date," she said. "Just call if you need anything."

"We will," said Sirius. "Thank you so much, Missy."

She blushed a little bit, then popped away, seeming very pleased with herself. Sirius grinned at Remus. "Well, cheers," he said.

The food was absolutely heavenly. Sirius practically moaned at the first bite. Remus shook his head. "What on earth did you tell her to make her get us wine?"

"Oh, never you worry about that, Mr. Lupin," Sirius said. "Just enjoy it!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine."

They ate in silence, mostly because Sirius couldn't talk due to all the food he kept stuffing in his mouth, and Remus because he didn't want to do all of the talking. He actually managed to eat a decent amount, which was good. He really didn't want Sirius to nag him about it. It was very good. And the wine was good too. Remus hardly ever drank, but he knew Sirius did.

Sirius had eaten most of the food on the table, enough for three or four people, when he finally set his fork down and leaned back. "Remus," he said contentedly, "I'm pretty sure this is one of the best meals I've had in a very long time."

"It really was," said Remus. "And this was nice, just the two of us."

Sirius nodded knowingly. "We should do this more often," he said.

"Sirius," Remus said, "you do not need to make a habit of breaking rules."

"I know, I know," said Sirius. "It's just wishful thinking."

Remus frowned. "It's probably pretty late. We should head back so we don't miss Astronomy."

"Fuck Astronomy," said Sirius, waving a lazy hand. "Let's ditch."

"Sirius Black I am not letting you skip class. You've broken way too many rules already, including just today."

"Fine, fine, fine," Sirius grumbled, standing up.

"Missy?" called Remus softly.

The house elf popped up. "Yes?" she asked eagerly. "Is Sirs needing anything else?"

"No, thank you," said Remus. "We have to go. But thank you so much for the meal, it was absolutely incredible."

Missy blushed deeply. "Sir is being too kind," she said bashfully.

"It really was," said Sirius. "Also, what time is it?"

"It is being just about midnight," she said. "Perhaps a little bit after."

"We really do have to go," said Remus. "But thank you again."

"Any time," said Missy. "And you is being a very adorable couple." With that, she popped away before either could respond.

Sirius kissed Remus gently. "We should probably go, then," he said. He took Remus's hand, and together they made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower.

A/N:

i fucking love this story so much. also all of you guys ur all amazing *hugs*
also yes the chapter title is a reference to the perks of being a wallflower which is my favorite book of all time holy shit i love it

(tw)
i didn't relapse, which is surprising. i normally don't dream, but i had this one dream last night. i don't remember much except that i was rlly close to ending it. and i relapsed badly in it, and i woke up when my friend (who knows about my sh) was outside the bathroom talking to me. and when i woke up the first thought was "fuck i need to hide it" and then i realized it wasn't real and the second thought was "holy fuck i want to relapse so bad." the dream was so realistic. i could feel it. it felt so real and i want it so badly. i know it's fucked up, but i'm fucked up. i'm trying so hard not to relapse bc i'm about a month clean

stay safe, take care of yourselves. i love you all sm 3

ktf xolyn