trigger warning: (including alcohol, homophobia, and the f slur)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: We Stan a Protective Boyfriend

Remus was very drunk. He was standing in the corner of the seventh year boys' dorm room, a plastic cup of some mysterious liquid in his hand. There was loud music playing, and people were dancing. Remus wasn't enjoying the party, but he was enjoying the alcohol. He hardly ever drank, but he needed it occasionally.

He looked over at the crowd of people. They had formed a circle and were all cheering. Remus thought it was James dancing in the middle, but he wasn't sure. There were people in the way, and he couldn't even think that much.

It was nice, though, he supposed, not actively wanting to off yourself. The alcohol was numbing. It dialed all his emotions down. His brain was mostly quiet for once, and he gladly welcomed it.

The people in the circle were chanting now. James had left the circle, and someone else was in the middle. Remus stared at them for a few seconds before he realized what they were chanting. "Sirius! Sirius! Sirius!"

Remus jumped violently when James appeared next to him, grabbed his arm, and pulled him towards the crowd of people. "C'mon, Remy! Siri's dancing and it's going to be fucking hilarious!"

James was drunk, thought Remus. He didn't care about watching anyone dance. His brain finally clicked that it was Sirius watching, and he could suddenly only focus on how much he would really like to kiss Sirius.

He and James stumbled over to the edge of the circle. Sirius was in the middle, dancing as though his life depended on it. Granted, it was extremely bad dancing, but no one seemed to notice or care. James shoved Remus forward, until he was on the inner side of the circle.

Sirius's glance fell on Remus, and his face lit up. "Remy!" he exclaimed. He stopped dancing, and was immediately replaced by some sixth year. He ran over to Remus and threw his arms around him. "I missed you!"

Remus hugged him back with equal enthusiasm. "I missed you more," he said, his face buried in Sirius's neck.

Sirius looked at him triumphantly. "I missed you most!" he exclaimed gleefully. "I win!"

Remus frowned. "What do you win?"

"Your heart, my dear Remy," said Sirius, leaning in to kiss him.

"Whoa!" said James. "How about you two not do that in the middle of the people."

Sirius turned to James. "You just want to ruin all our fun, don't you," he said, pouting.

James held up his hands in defense. "I'm not trying to ruin anything. But I think you- wait- I don't think you should do that in front of everyone."

Remus burst out laughing. "In the middle of the people? What does that even mean?"

James kicked him in the shin. "You know what I mean."

Sirius tried to kick James, but he missed, so he settled for glaring at him. "Don't kick my boyfriend," he said angrily. At least, he thought it was angrily. In reality, it was extremely slurred together.

He grabbed Remus's hand and they made their way out of the circle, leaving James standing by himself. James immediately forgot about them when someone handed him a shot glass.

Sirius was aiming for the door, but he couldn't really see or walk straight, and they ended up back in the corner where Remus had spent most of the evening. Remus had had enough of not kissing Sirius, and pushed his boyfriend against the wall, passionately connecting them in a heated kiss.

Sirius spun them around so that Remus was the one pressed against the wall. Remus had his arms around Sirius's neck, keeping them connected. Everything else faded to the background. It was only their kiss. And, oh fuck, those were definitely Sirius's hands on his ass.

They broke apart a few minutes later. "I'm going to get drinks," whispered Sirius breathlessly. "Meet me in that one empty room down the hall?"

Remus nodded, equally breathless. He stumbled out of the room and out into the hall that the common room was on. He glanced around, trying to see if there was anyone around, but was really too drunk to do anything. Luckily, the room was still empty. It wasn't uncommon to find some couple there during parties, and walking in on them was the worst thing you could do.

Remus closed the door behind him and waited, head spinning from the alcohol and the kissing. He turned around when he heard the door open again, expecting to see Sirius with a few drinks.

It was one of the seventh years. Louis, maybe? Remus couldn't quite remember. Louie? Lou? Louis sounded right, he decided.

"You're a fucking faggot, aren't you?" spat the seventh year.

Remus's face twisted in confusion. "What?"

"You heard me. You're a fucking faggot."

Remus shook his head desperately. Fuck, that made the spinning worse.

Louis walked over towards Remus and grabbed the front of his sweater. He was at least a head and a half taller and probably 50 pounds heavier than Remus. He held Remus there, staring hatefully at him, before releasing his sweater and punching him in the face, followed swiftly by a punch in the stomach.

Remus fell to the ground clutching his stomach. His nose was definitely starting to bleed. He curled up into a ball, hoping that the other boy would leave.

Of course, Remus had the worst luck in the history of the world, and Louis didn't leave. He kicked Remus, hard. "Fucking disgusting," he said. "I fucking saw you and Black. His hands were all over you, weren't they? Faggot." He spat onto Remus, and followed it with a swift kick to the face.

Remus grunted and tried not to cry. He curled in on himself even more.

The door swung open again, and Remus heard several cups fall to the floor, liquid splashing out of them. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" yelled Sirius angrily.

He hurried over to where Louis was still kicking the shit out of Remus. He grabbed Louis's shoulder and jerked him around, punching him in the face before Louis could even register who had spoken.

Sirius was much taller than Remus, but Louis was still slightly taller and outweighed him significantly. That didn't stop Sirius from dropping Louis to his knees with a swift kick to the balls.

He grabbed Louis's ear and harshly pulled him forward. "You stay the fuck away from my boyfriend," he hissed. "Or I swear to Merlin I will cut off your dick and make you eat it." He emphasized this with another punch to the face. "Are we fucking clear?"

Louis nodded frantically. He may have been a bully, but he was a coward at heart. Sirius half-dragged him to the door and threw him out of the room, locking it behind them.

He ran back over to Remus, falling to his knees and trying to help Remus. "Remy, please, are you ok?"

Remus finally allowed himself to be uncurled, and Sirius pulled him onto his lap, surveying the damage as he did so. Remus's nose was bleeding, his eyebrow was split, and he was definitely going to have a black eye. And that was only what Sirius could see.

He wiped a few of the tears away from Remus's cheeks and kissed him gently. Remus hugged Sirius tightly and rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, crying softly. "Why does everything have to be absolute shit?" he sobbed. "Why can't I just be happy? Why can't I just be normal?"

Sirius's heart broke. He held Remus, and wanted to whisper that it would be ok, that everything would work out, but he couldn't. His voice caught in his throat and the words wouldn't come. All he could do was hold Remus.

"I want to die," sobbed the younger boy. "I just want to die. Just let me fucking die already."

Sirius froze, unable to believe the words he was hearing. "I don't fucking want to be here anymore," Remus said, his voice thick with tears. "I can't fucking take it anymore."

"Remy," whispered Sirius.

Remus didn't hear him. He continued to sob while clutching Sirius, as if the older boy were the only thing keeping him here. And, he probably was. Without Sirius, Remus wouldn't have cared long enough to bother trying to stick around. But it was too much.

"I want to die," Remus sobbed brokenly. "I can't do this. Just let me die."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Remy," he choked out, his voice cracking unsteadily.

All he could do was hold Remus, let him cry, and not let him out of his sight. Even while completely and utterly drunk, Sirius knew the absolute importance of this. He should probably tell someone. He dreaded the idea that there might be a day when he couldn't be there, and Remus would do something stupid. He didn't know how he would live without Remus. He needed him. He needed him so fucking badly.

A/N:

ayy what's up have a nice long chapter ur all amazing :)

so i've got my winter formal thing on friday night. i have a couple of clothes options that my mom ordered (no dresses all black, so i win), but i need to try them on and shit. i also convinced her to order me this pair of 5 inch stiletto heels, which i am VERY excited about, and i hope they fit. i'm also going to try and get a haircut bc i desperately need one. i'm actually pretty excited about this dance for once, bc i'm a senior and literally don't care what anything thinks anymore, and also i may have plans to get a little bit tipsy so that should be fun (i am not condoning underage drinking, plz don't do it. i will be safe, and i hardly ever drink. and it's only beer, not tequila or something super strong. i promise.)

also thank you so much for all the support on my last author's note. ik some people asked, but just in case you didn't feel comfortable or whatever reason, my pronouns are they/them :)

stay safe, take care, drink some water. ur all amazing and wonderful and i love you all so much 3

ktf xolyn