Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.

Author's Note: I'm a sucker for a genderqueer Sirius Black, and I say that not a boy is enough to bypass the Staircase charm.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 11); MC4A
Individual Challenges: Gryffindor MC (x3); Bow Before the Blacks; In a Flash; Yellow Ribbon; Yellow Ribbon Redux
House: Hufflepuff
Assignment No.: Term 11 – Assignment 03
Subject (Task No.): n/a
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [916] (Passionate); 365 [281] (Cuddle); Galleon Club (James/Lily)
Space Address (Prompt): n/a
Representation(s): Marauders; Genderqueer Sirius Black; James Potter/Lily Evans
Bonus Challenges: Grease Monkey; In the Trench; Second Verse (Lovely Coconuts; For the Vine; Car in a Tutu; Unwanted Advice; Zucchini Bread; Nontraditional; Found Family; Persistence Still); Chorus (Creature Feature; Wind Beneath; A Long Dog; Unicorn; Larger than Life; Mouth of Babes; Machismo; Fizzy Lemonade; Wabi Sabi)
Tertiary Bonus Challenges: SN (Rail; Ameliorate); T3 (Terse; Toad); FR (Liberation; Satisfaction)
Word Count: 502

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Girls & Boys
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It was the middle of the last frantic week before NEWTs when Lily Evans entered the common room at a full run. Just as quickly, she disappeared up the stairs to the girls' dorm. Most of the Gryffindors present just looked at each other in confusion. For all that Lily had a slight problem with her temper, she was fairly even tempered. Frank Longbottom threw his stylus down on the notebook he had been using to plan out Quidditch drills for the incoming players (since most of the team was graduating this year). Then he hurried out the door. James knew he was probably headed to fetch his girlfriend Alice Diore, who also happened to be one of Lily's best friends. The Hufflepuff was likely brewing potions with Slughorn for the Hospital Wing, as it was what she did to relax. That meant there was likely a good twenty minutes before he even got to her.

That was twenty minutes where Lily was crying by herself before help was even beginning to head towards her.

Luckily, James knew someone closer who could help.

Leaving the Quidditch stuff on the table (trusting that no one would mess with the future of the House team), James took the steps to the seventh-year boys dorm two at a time. Just to be sure that he wasn't walking in on anything, he pounded on the door three times and waited a full count of ten before opening it. Remus was still fumbling with the curtain of his bed when James entered. Sirius looked more than a bit peeved at being interrupted.

"Lils just ran in crying," James said quickly. "She went up to the girls dorm. Frank's gone to get Alice-" He was interrupted by a pillow to the face. Sirius had thrown it to get it out of the way as he sought to find his missing shirt. Shirt now on, Sirius executed a quick series of motions that had his long, curly hair pulled back into a messy bun.

"You should have led with that," Sirius scolded. James exchanged an exasperated look with Remus as Sirius ran out of the room. Then James was chasing after him, knowing that if he didn't catch Sirius before he hit the stairs to the girls dorm, he wasn't going to be able to follow any more than he would be able to follow any other girl.

"Wait, can't you, like, carry me or something?" James begged as Sirius headed up without him. Sirius shot him a grin over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Prongs," Sirius said, "but the girls dorms are for girls only. No boys allowed!"

"You're not a girl!" James shouted. Sirius gave him a little wave, barely more than a wiggle of the fingers.

"I'm also not a boy," Sirius quipped. "Tough day for you, Jamie. I'm going to go cuddle your girlfriend now. Ta for letting me know."

James suddenly wished for his own pillow to throw at his git of a best friend.