Hello everybody,

here's the new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it^^

Greetings!

Chapter 4 - Fear

A knocking at the door startled him. Confused, he looked around, found himself on the floor between countless books, next to him the empty bed. He must have fallen asleep.

Another knock from the door made him rose in a hurry, ruffling through his hair and looking around with his drowsy eyes. Where the hell was Law?

"Hello?" A soft voice called from the door. "I'm sorry to bother, Law, but it's already ten o'clock."

"Yeah, yeah." The addressee came from the adjoining room, a toothbrush in one hand and a towel in the other, which he rubbed through his wet hair. "I overslept. Come in."

Then Law looked over to Rosinante and he could see the grey eyes getting bigger for a moment before the other smiled, toothpaste spread all over his teeth.

"Good morning, Cora-san."

It sounded as gentle as the first rays of sunshine touching wet grass, as if Law had been waiting years for this moment to greet him like this.

Before Rosinante could even reply, the door opened and a young woman in a doctor's coat and loaded with several files came in. The one on top was opened and the woman followed some written lines with one finger.

" I just sent Mrs. Fumfum home and the next appointment would be actually only at half past eleven, but Mr. Sansan just came in. This splinter, which he did not want to get treated yesterday, swollen like hell, really disgusting, and the pus just drops out. I didn't dare to..." She fell silent as she looked up and noticed Rosinante, slowly her blue eyes widened, and she pushed her glasses up. "Oh, you woke up, but wow, you're huge!"

"Ninnin," Law sighed, waving his toothbrush through the air, "I've told you a thousand times that you cannot talk to patients like that. Not every thought you think you have to say out loud. Your patients have to trust you and not be frightened or offended, even if you don't have ill intend."

"Oh, she didn't insult me, Law. I am tall, not as tall as my brother maybe, but already taller than..."

"Not helpful," Law growled, thumping his elbow against Rosinante's hip before turning to the woman again. "Ninnin, this is Corazon. Cora-san, Ninnin, the daughter of Doctor Tantan."

"The smart student." Rosinante bowed politely. "My pleasure."

"Oh yes, me too!" She did what could be seen as a mixture of curtsy and bowing. "I didn't even know you woke up, how lucky!"

"Yes," he laughed, rubbing the back of his head as he got up again, "lucky indeed, albeit a little odd."

"I can imagine," she nodded, pushing her glasses up again. "How long have you been in a coma? It's impressive that you're able to move so well already."

"Okay, you can chat later, Ninnin," Law recalled, "please give me another five minutes to get ready. Tell Mr. Sansan that the splinter has to get out now and prepare the surgery, a local anesthetic should be enough. I'll check everything right away and then we'll start."

"All right." She was already rushing out of the door.

Again, Law sighed and then continued to brush his teeth.

"Sorry, did she wake you up?" He muttered, barely understandable between the foam.

"Don't worry," Rosinante replied with a faint smile, looking at the other. "You look even more exhausted than yesterday, haven't you slept well?" He already knew the answer to that question.

Law shrugged and disappeared into the room next door. Rosinante followed him and watched the other crawl into a tiny bathroom in a small door next to the couch, the ceiling was so low that even Law had to bend over to avoid bumping his head.

"It's okay," he muttered hard to understand as he washed his mouth and face, "the wind was just loud and woke me up every now and then. But don't worry. Mrs. Paipai has certainly already made some coffee."

Law rubbed his face dry with the towel he had placed around his shoulders, then he yawned widely and tried to tame his hair.

"Sorry, that I'm on the go again. I promised you that we would continue to talk today. You certainly have some questions."

"Don't worry about me, Law. I..." He remained silent and looked at the other for a moment, who rushed to a small locker and pulled out a fresh doctor's coat. He seemed so grownup, so calm, and so self-confident. Although Rosinante had only awaken the day before, Law seemed absolutely unmoved. Obviously, he mastered the situation far better than Rosinante.

"If you want, you can lie down again, you were apparently so tired that you nodded off. Didn't want to wake you up," Law muttered, looking at him as he slipped into the coat. "If you want to have breakfast, Mrs. Paipai always brings fruits and rice balls. Everything is in the common room, down the aisle to the left, third door on the right."

Law walked back into the other room and Rosinante followed him.

"Unfortunately, I have quite some appointments today and there could be an emergency at any time, so I don't know if I'll take a lunch break, but if I have time I'll come by. Oh, by the way, clothes for you are in the left locker, they should fit." He rubbed his face as if trying to remember a shopping list. "And as far as your name is concerned, I think it's better for the beginning if we..."

"Law," Rosinante interrupted him after a moment, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I know you don't have much time, but can I ask you something?"

The other looked up to him and directly these grey eyes showed uncertainty, even distrust.

"Of course."

"How are you holding up?"

"What? I told you I..."

Rosinante raised one hand and silenced the other, then sat down on the big bed and looked up.

"You deal with the whole situations very calmly. I'm aware, of course, that you had more time than I had to prepare for all this here, but it's almost scary how natural the situation seems to be for you." He remained silent for a moment and looked at his own hands, rubbed an old scar on his left thumb. "If I'm honest, I'm worried about you. For me, the situation is difficult, almost unbelievable, and I don't think it's easier for you, so please tell me honestly; how are you really doing?"

Law only looked at him, opened and closed his mouth without even saying anything. Then he took a deep breath, shook his head, and drove his way through his hair, destroying the neat hairstyle he had fought for just a few seconds ago.

"It's weird," he huffed with a soft smile, looking over at Rosinante from the corners of his eyes, "despite all the time, I can't fool you, can I? You see through me right away."

Loudly, he sighed and approached Rosinante, looking down at him with deep wrinkles on his serious forehead and a pinched mouth.

"You know, I'm a doctor. It is my job to act serenely and to remain calm even in critical situations. For my patients it is important that I radiate rationality and security and I thought I had perfected it by now. But the truth is..." Law shook his head again and then crossed his arms as if he had to protect himself. "... none of this is natural to me, I am totally overwhelmed to be honest and I fear that I might say something wrong every time I open my mouth."

Now he turned away, rubbed his arms, and began to walk up and down, as he had done the previous day.

"I'm scared, Cora-san, I knew what was going to happen, I knew how difficult it was going to be for you. 17 years is a long time and a lot has changed, but..." His voice trembled and he had turned his back towards Rosinante, just like the previous day, but this time he was sure Law simply couldn't bear to look at him, fearing what Rosinante might answer. "... but my greatest fear is that you will leave me as soon as you find out what I have become."

"Oh Law, my sweet, little..."

"No, stop it." But Law's voice was shaking. "That's why I'm pretending to have everything under control in front of patients and as if nothing could make me lose my poise."

Sighing, Rosinante rose and placed one hand on the other's shoulder.

"But I'm not a patient, Law. No matter what the world and your colleagues may think, I'm not your patient and you never need to hide your true feelings from me, okay?"

The other nodded slightly, breathing heavily, but did not respond, while his shoulders trembled under Rosinante's grasp.

"And no matter what may come, Law, I will not leave you and I will never stop loving you."

"Tze," the other snorted. "Don't say that. That's exactly what I mean."

Then he brushed Rosinante's hand off and turned around; tears reflected in those deep eyes, but he seemed almost furious.

"You don't love me, Cora-san, you love the sweet, little Law from 17 years ago, like a little brother, maybe even like your own son, but I'm not that boy anymore and I..."

"I know," he interrupted him, slightly tilting his head. "Believe me, I had a long night watching you fight for your sleep, many hours to realize that you are certainly no longer the little boy of that time."

Law wanted to say something, but Rosinante didn't let him.

"I'm well aware that you're no longer the sweet, little Law of that time, and it pains me that I wasn't there to protect you. I don't know what you've been going through over the last few years and of course I don't know what things you've done; I'm sure you're not proud of some of them."

Now Law looked away, but Rosinante did not avoid the inevitable.

"Maybe you even despise things you've done, maybe you even despise yourself. But none of this changes my feelings for you. They may not be what you want from me, and at the same time you may think that you do not deserve them, that they are not meant or you. But I want to tell you in plain words that I don't care what you've done, what deeds you have committed and what you think you have become. None of this changes the fact that I still love you so much and don't think of ever leaving you as long as you want me with you."

Law, meanwhile, looked downto the ground and silent tears ran down his face.

"It's true that I don't know who you are, Law, and I will need time to get to know you anew, but I see you, here and now. I see you."

For a few seconds, perhaps even minutes, the room was filled with silence except for the quietly crying Law, standing in front of him with trembling shoulders as his tears dripped to the ground.

Rosinante did not dare to touch him, afraid Law would shy away again, a terrible feeling that he could hardly bear. He didn't want Law to cry, he wanted this young man - who was probably no longer his sweet, little Law, but still carried this child within him, hidden under the rationality of an experienced doctor, under the cold of a nefarious pirate - he wanted Law to smile, to be happy, and to understand what it meant to be loved unconditionally without living in constant fear of losing this love.

He didn't want Law to hate himself or, worse, to believe Rosinante hated him. All Rosinante really wanted was that Law was happy, could live a happy life, and even if he couldn't change the past, couldn't change that he hadn't been able to give Law the life the other deserved, he would do anything to settle that debt now that he could share that life again.

At one point, Law rubbed the sleeve of his doctor's coat through his face and finally looked up, the faint shadow of a weak smile on his trembling lips.

"How can you say something like that so easily?" He asked. "How can you be so sure that you can still stand me when you find out what I have become, that you see me, even though you hardly know me?"

"But Law, I know exactly how you feel." And now it was Rosinante who could only barely hold back tears while smiling at the other and finally saying what he had never wanted to say. "I know exactly what it's like to do things you will despise yourself for. I know what it's like to have to deny yourself and to lose yourself in the belief that it's the right thing to do."

For a moment he hesitated, felt how it was now difficult for him to smile.

"And I know the fear that this one person important to me would turn away from me if he figured out who I really am, what I really am, that I'm one of those people he hates so much."

He could see Law's eyes grow big and pure disbelief glided over the strangely familiar traits.

"But Cora-san..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Law, all the time we were together, from the very beginning, but I really didn't want you to hate me."

"But I never hated you!" Suddenly it was Law who grabbed him, almost punching his head into Rosinante's stomach pit, and wrapped his arms around Rosinante. "How can you believe for even a second that I would hate you. I... I knew you were a Marine. You're such a bad liar, of course I knew."

Law looked up to him, biting his lip like a cocky child.

"But even though I knew what a bad liar you are... I believed you that Doflamingo wouldn't shoot."

Slowly, he put a hand on Law's head, felt the still moist soft hair that the other usually kept hidden under a hat, and felt an incredible gratitude spread through him. He had feared it back then, but had tried not to throw Law into another conflict of conscience, and when he had told the truth, Law had been unable to answer him, locked in a box and made silent by the power of Rosinante's devil power.

Perhaps Rosinante had even consciously hoped for such a moment, for a way to ease his conscience without seeing how the glow of these deep eyes would turn into hatred.

"Me too, Law, me too." He bent down so they were on a par. "But neither his weapon nor his anger was as scary as the idea that you would hate me. So please believe me, I can understand what you're going through. I see you."

Then he hugged the other, pressed him against his chest, allowing himself to cry quietly again, so that the other could not see it. He didn't want Law to see his tears, he just wanted him to see his smile, he should be happy, joyful.

"I want you to stay with me," Law whispered against his chest. "I just want to be happy for a few more months, like back then, without you having to hide from your brother and me going to die. I want to spend time with you, get to know you again, tell you everything that happened and listen to all those things that you couldn't tell me back then, but..."

"Then we'll do just that," he said, leaning back to look at Law. "We will take all the time in the world, a few months of simple luck, without pirates or Marines, without life-threatening diseases or devil fruits. Just you and me, would that make you happy?"

He could see that Law was already fighting back tears, but this time they were tears of joy and Rosinante couldn't prevent a smile when the other nodded heavily, instead of saying something, his lips pressed tightly, now looking almost like the child he had left behind all those years ago, just a few days ago.

"Yes, that's all I've wanted for 17 years."

An opportunity. It was as if Law had given him a small chance to pay off some of his guilt, to shed some of the burden he would carry forever on his shoulders for not being able to protect Law back then, for leaving him alone, and if Rosinante was quite honest, that idea sounded like a life that he would like.

If he was honest, he had imagined life in a very similar way back then, of course with a young Law who would study medicine and not already practice it, but a peaceful island somewhere where it was beautiful, far from intrigues, wars, and betrayal. A life like his parents had wanted to live, yes, that really sounded like happiness.

Of course, he knew that he could not run away from his duties forever. He would stand up for his brother's crimes and visit Sengoku, perhaps resume his work as a soldier, but... but he had been dead for 17 years, and it would make little difference to the world whether he would walk among the living again a month sooner or later.

Watching Law's warm smile, he decided that after all these years he had earned a few months of simple happiness, that Law had earned a few months of limitless happiness.

Suddenly the door opened, and Mrs. Paipai glanced into the room.

"I'm really sorry to bother, Doctor Trafalgar, but..."

"Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming."

Law sighingly freed himself from Rosinante's embrace and looked at him for a long moment, still this wonderful smile on his lips, which Rosinante had missed so much, a smile full of life, love, and joy.

"See you later, Cora-san." With that he hurried after Paipai, leaving Rosinante with this unfamiliar feeling of happiness.

But hardly that the door closed, his smile faded. He was certain, that Law was still hiding something from him, but he would be patient, and if Law felt safe, he would tell him the truth.

Perhaps he would then tell Rosinante why his devil powers no longer worked.