Hey everyone,
I hope you're doing all good, I'm a little busy right now (I feel like I say that everytime I update^^'), but that's fine, because that makes me creative, even though I have barely time to write... well, whatever, this chapter here is a very calm one, but I like it very much, not as much when I wrote it, but I kind of like the vibe it gives whenever I read it again, so I hope you feel the same ;-)
Have a great weekend^^
Chapter 8 - Happiness
"At the crossroad we take the right and then we're almost there," he said, pointing forward.
"And the left path leads where? Inland?" Law asked curious and stopped at the crossroad.
"Uhm, one of the neighbors - Tuntun? – meant it leads deeper into the forest and then to a mountain range. Apparently very nice for hiking and good for getting to the surrounding villages and towns."
"I like hiking," Law muttered as they continued their journey. The shadows under his eyes testified to the lack of sleep last night, but since they had entered the forest, he seemed more vital, as if the shadows of the trees gave him strength.
Then they had reached the edge of the forest.
"That's it," Rosinante said, pointing to the house that appeared right in front of them, "as I said, it's barely ten minutes."
Once again Law stopped, and when Rosinante turned to him, he could see a multitude of emotions rushing across his face.
"Do you want to go inside?"
Law just nodded and moved on.
Rosinante was well aware that this house was not just a house. None of them took the concept of a home for granted, too many terrible memories had overshadowed this simple term. But precisely for this reason Rosinante had agreed to the insane proposal of the islanders. This was their second chance at life, which they had been denied 17 years ago. Rosinante wanted this to be their home.
He opened the door and let Law enter, followed him inside, and watched him. Like himself the previous day, Law strode carefully through the rooms, stopped here and there, looked around cautiously, stroked over hung furniture and bare walls. He said no word while inspecting the individual rooms until they finally stood on the porch in front of the sea.
"I never knew you like the sea that much," he muttered, watching the waves.
"Would you prefer moving somewhere further away?" Rosinante asked.
"No," Law muttered, and turned to him, "let's live here, Cora-san."
Pure happiness spread through him. At last, this peaceful life would begin. Joyful impatience filled him.
"Then come on. I've already thought about how to use the rooms." He grabbed Law's wrist and dragged him along. "I thought that the room to the forest would be a good study for you. All your books and much more will probably fit into the many wall cabinets and shelves. The other two rooms are much smaller, but they are only for sleeping and..."
"You've really thought a lot about this already."
Rosinante stopped and looked at the other. Law smiled broadly and those deep eyes sparkled playfully. He didn't tease Rosinante but seemed genuinely enthusiastic.
"Tell me more."
Now they walked through the rooms again, but this time Rosinante spoke quite animatedly about his ideas, while Law also did not hold back his own. They talked about the things that still needed to be done and what kind of furniture they needed, how they wanted to set up the individual rooms, and with each minute they became more enthusiastic.
They didn't agree on everything, but their differences could not diminish their eagerness. In the course of the early evening, various neighbors came by, some just to get to know them, others to offer their help, others because they had missed the open office hour, and a few of them equipped with furnishings, utensils, or tools.
Before Law and Rosinante even knew what was happening, it was late at night and half the village helped them to make the house at least ready for them to move in soon. The carpenter Sansan and his daughter offered to build a bed big enough for Rosinante, and the sons of the electrician Biubiu checked the pipes.
They all ignored Laws and Rosinante's words of restraint and that such gestures were not necessary, and so the work turned into a small celebration in the late evening. Even more people came, brought food, drinks, blankets, and chairs and the atmosphere was high-spirited.
Rosinante sat with a cigarette on the balustrade of the porch and watched the strangers who had welcomed them so warmly. By now, he already felt like one of them, like a friend who had come home after a long journey. Most of the villagers seemed to be close friends, and Rosinante was treated as if he had always been one of them.
While most politely addressed Law with Doctor or his last name, they simply called Rosinante Corazon, as Law had introduced him to Ninnin – who, by the way, was also present and apparently did not tolerate large amounts of alcohol – and somehow he liked it. Law had told him that his family's name was associated with unpleasant memories for most people by his brother's actions, but he didn't think it was that bad. After all, this was the name with which he had met Law. Corazon may once have been his nickname, a name he had connected with secrets, intrigues, and terrible deeds, but thanks to Law, Rosinante now knew that Corazon was much more than just a title, it was his name, his essence; he liked people calling him Corazon, after all it meant heart.
Yes, he felt happy, all these kind, friendly people who led a peaceful life and whose greatest restlessness was the arrival of the young doctor and his odd roommate. Some of them asked quite curious questions, some even quite intrusive, but were usually hushed directly by their family members or friends. Most of them seemed interested but remained polite, talking more than asking questions.
All in all, it was a very nice evening and slowly he felt how the tension of the last years – which had already happened years ago – started to fade, while Sansan explained him that the islanders owed their prosperity in particular to the high-quality wood that they had been growing and processing here for generations. The old man boasted that the wood of this island was so good that even shipyards on the other side of the world were working with them, and that there were more wood processing factories inland than this village had houses. Several times he slapped Rosinante's shoulders vigorously and envied him for his height and strength, which could only be conducive to such an activity. Rarely had Rosinante felt as guarded as here between all these strangers who were already treating him like one of their own.
Law, on the other hand, did not seem to be able to handle the whole situation that well. Just like these people treated him with respect and some distance, he also kept his distance from them, remained polite but reserved, did not participate in conversations, nor did he enjoy food or drinks. Until now he had just leaned on the distant wall of the house, but now he pushed himself off and went back inside.
After a moment, Rosinante decided to follow him, but it took him far more time than he had expected to escape those welcoming conversations. As an involuntary host, it wasn't easy to withdraw, but at some point he was finally able to.
Eventually he found Law in the kitchen, which was now back in working condition, doing dishes.
"Are you alright?"
The other looked up when Rosinante came in and nodded.
"Festivities aren't my cup of tea and too many conversations give me a headache. Sorry."
"No, no, don't be. You've been up the whole night and got to be exhausted after this day."
Law shrugged and then handed him the things to dry.
"That's okay. We did a lot today. There's still a lot of work to be done, but I've thought about packing my stuff tomorrow after work and bringing it here."
"Didn't Mrs. Paipai say you should take time off tomorrow? She seems to be really worried that you're overwork," he said, putting the dishes away.
"Yes, she did and yes, she does. But haven't you just seen Ninnin? I don't think she can work tomorrow, so I will."
"So reliable."
"It's my job," Law replied with a shrug.
"But that's fine. Starting tomorrow I will also have a lot to do. The Biubius helped me to put together a list of what still needs to be done according to urgency and the young girl Sansan wanted to come by tomorrow and help me. She seems to have a lot more experience in such things than I do, especially given her age. Her father also wanted to come help after work."
Law laughed quietly.
"You seem to get along well with the villagers, don't you?"
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, no," Law dried his hands on Rosinante's rag. "It makes me happy to see you so joyful."
Surprised, he looked down at the other before leaning against the counter, while Law continued.
"For a person as cheerful and sociable as you, the time with your brother must not have been easy. I think I've never seen you laugh and talk as much as tonight. The silence must have been terrible."
Rosinante looked down on his own hand before lifting it up and snapping, as he would have done until a few days ago to silence the world.
"Without my devil power, I would certainly have given myself away," he confessed quietly, "but yes, even if the time with you at sea was lovely, I am glad that the time of silence and lies is over."
"Me too."
"Law," he whispered as Law grabbed his upper arm and he immediately recognized the other's gaze, "I can't..."
"I know," Law interrupted him, reaching for the hand Rosinante had just snapped with. "I know you don't feel like I do, Cora-san. I don't expect you to at all. But please... please don't turn me away."
He wanted to listen to reason, he wanted to talk to Law honestly about his feelings and about Rosinante not returning them in this way and that it would make them unhappy if they ignored it.
But Law's gaze silenced all his reason. He knew Law was longing for a love he couldn't give. At the same time, he had vowed never to be the cause of Law's suffering. He had failed and left him alone, only for that reason Law was now an adult who had been forced to grow up without unconditional love. Rosinante knew full well that no matter how loving and gentle his words of denial would be, he would hurt Law, would cause him pain, and Law would withdraw, distance himself from Rosinante.
He knew full well that this was not right here, was not reasonable, but if this was the love Law needed to be happy, if only Rosinante could do this to save Law from more suffering, then he had little choice. He never again wanted to see Law as full of hatred as he had been back then, no matter how old Law was now. He never wanted to see him trapped in the darkness again, but that the other would bring out the light he was carrying so radiantly, so that everyone could see in him what Rosinante had always seen.
Rosinante would do nothing that could risk this light, so against any reason, against any better knowledge, he bent down and smiled at Law.
"I would never turn you away, Law."
When the other kissed him this time it was different, no short touch of the lips, hardly worth mentioning, but more, real. Law grabbed his hair, placed his other hand on Rosinante's shoulder, as if to make sure Rosinante wouldn't turn away. Law's lips moved, rubbing against his, soft yet determined.
Rosinante hardly dared to move, dared barely to breathe and then it was over. Law leaned against his forehead, Rosinante could see the quiet smile in the shadows, but much more captured him those deep eyes, looking at him so intensely that he forgot to breathe.
"I love you, Cora-san," Law whispered, slipping up Rosinante's shoulder and neck with his free hand, almost tenderly caressing his cheek, "and I am so happy to be here with you."
He couldn't resist that look. Feelings of 17 years and even longer seemed to break free in those eyes and slowly he really understood what Law had meant when he had said that he had been waiting all this time for him, that his feelings were no longer just those of a small child, that all his friends could not fill the hole in his heart.
Because apparently only he could. Only Rosinante was apparently able to make Law really happy, and even if it unsettled him – it really frightened him – it filled him with a warmth that he could neither explain nor approve. Back then, one of his greatest fears had been that Law would hate him once he found out who and what Rosinante really was, but Law had taken that fear from him the previous day, revealing that he had always known.
Now it had been one of his greatest fears that he had no value for the adult Law, now that Law needed neither guardian nor healing, was probably more powerful - probably much more powerful - than he and no longer needed to hide. What could Rosinante offer him as the child of a broken nobility and soldier who had turned his back on his authority?
He had no special abilities, not even his devil power, and was not even ahead of Law anymore in terms of wisdom of old age and yet, despite everything, his pure presence seemed to make Law happy and that filled him with gratitude and humility. He couldn't do much, but he could make sure Law would never lose that Happiness again.
"I know," he whispered, framing Law's face with both hands, "I'm also happy to be here with you."
For a moment they remained in this intimate position, but then sudden loud laughter from the porch made them startle.
"Let's go back to practice," Law said, moving away from him. "I'm tired and I won't be able to sleep at all with those strangers on our porch."
"Is it okay if we just leave them behind? After all, we're the hosts," Rosinante wondered, as Law pulled him along, and for a moment he regretted that he had lost his ability, that would have made some things easier for Law.
"Host is someone who invites people. We haven't invited anyone; they've just showed up and as long as they clean up in the end they can celebrate as long as they want."
Laughing, he followed the other.
"You sound like an old man, Law. They have given us this house and they are also helping us to restore it. You should be grateful."
"I am grateful," Law said simply as they reached the forest, "but I'm also tired and I don't like so many people around me. That's too loud for me."
It wasn't until they were in the middle of the forest that Rosinante noticed that Law had still not let him go, was still holding his hand, even though they were now strolling side by side at a moderate pace, above them only the treetops and the stars of the night.
With a soft smile, Rosinante looked to the sky, felt Law squeeze his hand a little tighter and decided that it was okay for the moment. At some point, he would have to talk to Law about it, but perhaps he should wait until Law no longer seemed so fragile, not so close to the abyss. In a few days, weeks, when the normality of their daily lives would give them security and stability, they would be able to talk about all this and he would help Law to be happy, even if they did not feel the same for each other.
From the corner of his eye, he looked down at Law, who yawned loudly and rubbed his face with his free hand.
Rosinante, too, was happy, his feelings may not were the same, but at least as strong, so it made him happy to see Law this pleased and carefree. Maybe he didn't have to protect him, he didn't have to make decisions for him, maybe he didn't have to offer him the world, maybe it was just enough if Rosinante was there for him, solid as a rock, soft as a feather, the unwavering affection that Law never needed to question. The honest love that Law would never lose.
Rosinante had always been ready to give his life for Law and if this was his job, he would fulfill it with joy.
"I'm really happy," he muttered to the sky, only to feel Law pressing his hand a little tighter again and not letting him go until they finally reached the practice.