Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.

Author's Note: No one ships his friends with their future spouses than Sirius Orion Black III.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 11); MC4A
Individual Challenges: Misunderstood; Technicolour Moon Assistance Fund (Y); Black Ribbon; Black Ribbon Redux; Gryffindor MC (x2); Hufflepuff MC; Bow Before the Blacks; Shipmas; Seeds; Golden Times; Interesting Times; Old Shoes; Trope It Up A [Shipper on Deck] (Y); Trope It Up B ["I will not go there and that's final!"] (Y); Themes & Things A [Love] (Y); Themes & Things B [Risk] (Y); True Colours; Rian-Russo Inversion; Flags & Ribbons; In a Flash; Yellow Ribbon; Yellow Ribbon Redux; Two Cakes!
House: Hufflepuff
Assignment No.: Term 11 – Assignment 04
Subject (Task No.): Muggle Art (Task#5: Write about someone/something unconventional.)
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [258] ("You didn't do anything, so why are you apologizing?"); 365 [95] (Pastel);
Space Address (Prompt): Fa Bingo [2A] (Change)
Representation(s): Nymphadora Tonks/Remus Lupin
Bonus Challenges: Hot Apple; Turtle-Duck; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Middle Name; Unwanted Advice; Car in a Tutu; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts; Grease Monkey; Muck & Slime); Chorus (Odd Feathers; Wabi Sabi; Bee Haven; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Tomorrow's Shade; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Creature Feature; Abandoned Ship; In the Trench; Surprise!)
Tertiary Bonus Challenges: SN (Rail); T3 (Terse; Thimble); FR (Evolution)
Word Count: 619

(^^)
For the Chocolate
(^^)

"You should ask my cousin out," Sirius said one day out of the blue. Remus looked up from the pages he had been translating from one of the books from the Black Collection in confusion. Sirius looked completely present and not at all like he was attempting a prank, which just made his declaration even more bewildering to Remus.

"I am fairly certain that all your cousins are married, Padfoot," Remus answered carefully. Sirius sighed dramatically as if it was Remus who was suggesting something rather impossible.

Their marriages were actually the last reason why Remus would not date any of the Black sisters. Narcissa would never sully herself with someone as poor as he was, let alone someone with his affliction. Bellatrix had the Black Insanity in full technicolor and surround sound. Andromeda was a possibility up until the point that Remus remembered her from Hogwarts as terrifyingly brutal as a duelist. Memories of her very public takedown of Bellatrix for giving Ted Tonks a love potion and then taking advantage of him were enough to kill any lust generated by her admittedly undeniable beauty.

"I'm not talking about those cousins," Sirius dismissed. "I'm talking about Tonks, you tosser."

"Tonks?"

"Someone say my name?" Tonks asked as she poked her head into the library. Her hair was a pastel purple today and long enough to curl around the tops of her ears. It almost obscured the tiny gold dragon that curled along her left earlobe before dangling a teardrop of wine-colored garnet from its open mouth in a parody of flames. It had been a gift from Charlie Weasley, a good friend of hers from Hogwarts, if Remus remembered correctly. She wore it often, when she was off duty.

"Moony did," Sirius answered in annoying cheerful tone. He gave the Auror a grin to match it. "We were just talking about how he should ask you out. There's an excellent little café just 'round the corner that has the best pastries. Have you ever had chocolate-covered blackberry jammy dodgers? You'll love 'em."

"I am so sorry," Remus told Tonks. How could Sirius do this? The very idea of him, a broke werewolf with no prospects, dating someone like her, an energetic woman with her whole life ahead of her, was beyond ridiculous. It was absolutely absurd. Not to mention that she had been born while he had attended Hogwarts or how Andromeda Black Tonks was her mother and would no doubt disapprove of him dating her.

"You didn't do anything," Tonks said, looking as confused as he had felt earlier, "so why are you apologizing?"

"I'm sure that Sirius didn't mean to put you on the spot or embarrass you. He forgets that some people aren't as unconventional as he is when it comes to things like dating."

"Oh, really," Tonks said, and Remus had been friends with Sirius long enough to hear the note of determination in her voice. No matter the House or generation, it seemed that a Black could not just leave a challenge alone. "Remus Lupin, have you ever had chocolate-covered blackberry jammy dodgers? I have it on good authority that I'll love 'em."

"You really don't have to—"

"That doesn't sound like an answer," Sirius interrupted. He had the same satisfied smirk that he had worn when he had finally gotten Lily to agree to date James. The analogy was not lost on Remus. "You wouldn't want to leave a lady hanging, would you? Mate, there's chocolate at stake."

"For the chocolate, Remus," Tonks echoed, grinning. Remus sighed in defeat, knowing that he was thoroughly outclassed against two stubborn Blacks. He might as well give in gracefully.

"For the chocolate," he agreed.