Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. There's also some light self-loathing. Feel free to back out if need be.

Author's Note: Please ignore the anachronism of David Bowie covering "Nature Boy" or pretend this is just reality where the Marauders are familiar with his cover. Also, before anyone kvetches: eden ahbez preferred his chosen name be written in all lowercase. So that is how it is written in the story. It's not a mistake.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 12); MC4A
Individual Challenges: Feast; Rainbow Focus; Clowder; No Heterosexual Explanation; Fluent in Sarcasm; Love Language; Point of Know Return; Gryffindor MC (x3); Bow Before the Blacks; Fire Time; Seeds; Shipmas; Ways to the Heart; No Proof; Minerva's Migraine; Interesting Times; Old Shoes (Y); Ethnic & Present; Rian-Russo Inversion; Flags & Ribbons; True Colours; Letter of the Day; Gender? Who That?; Setting Sail; Rowl in Her Grave; Hold the Mayo; In a Flash (Y); Yellow Ribbon; Yellow Ribbon Redux; Two Cakes!; Green Ribbon; Greatest Gift
House: Hufflepuff
Assignment No.: Term 12 – Assignment 4
Subject (Task No.): Herbology (Task#5: Write a story set around a campfire, hearth, or fireplace.)
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [179] (Starting a Fire); 365 Words [299](Stupid); Make a Fairytale (Wolf/Werewolf); Friend Frenzy [26]("I'm not here to coddle you. I'm here to smack you for being an idiot!"); Baking King Cakes [Step Three] (Chocolate Chips)(Coconut Shavings); Gwen's Candy Shop [Bowl 4](Trans – Nonbinary)
Other MC4A Challenges: WiB [5B](Cookies); Fall Micro 1 (Teapot)
Representation(s): Wolfstar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black); Black Lily Evans; Marauders as family
Bonus Challenges: Sweetest Burn; Fruit Fly; Saucy Buns; Gingersnap; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Found Family; Nontraditional; Sneeze Weasel; Zucchini Bread; Mother Hen; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Car in a Tutu; Lovely Coconuts; Grease Monkey; Most Human Bean; Muck & Slime; Dog Star; Under the Bridge; Esbat); Chorus (Wabi Sabi; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Fire Song; Tomorrow's Shade; A Long Dog; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Creature Feature; Abandoned Ship; In the Trench; Turtle-Duck; Jet Fuel; Sailor Take Warning)
Tertiary Bonus Challenges: T3 (Terse; Thimble); SN (Rail); FR (Satisfaction; Evolution); O3 (Oath); RoIL (Exuviation; Satisfaction); AD (Arrangement)
Word Count: 912

(^^)
Nature Boy
(^^)

Lily did not bother knocking as she entered the small cottage that James had given Remus after graduation. She just marched in with her bright red dress contrasting beautifully with her dark skin (if she said so herself) and her fuzzy bunny slippers (because at eight months she had given up on wearing practical shoes and anyone who disagreed could become overly friendly with a pineapple). She also didn't bother calling out a greeting as she made her way to the kitchen. She didn't bother asking if he wanted any tea when she started the kettle heating either.

Remus, in her opinion, didn't deserve to have that kind of consideration right now.

Normally, yes, she would respect his need for space and privacy, especially the day after a full moon when he would be drained from his transformation. She was a good friend. Good friends supported each other while they dealt with their chronic conditions and all of the complications that came along with said conditions.

However, being a good friend also meant making each other see the errors of their ways when they do things that are utterly and completely stupid in a fit of self-destruction.

Thus she made sure to make as much noise as possible as she went about putting together a tea tray, even though she knew that Remus would still be asleep in front of the now cold fireplace in the living room. By the time she was raiding his biscuit jar for the chocolate covered blackberry jammy dodgers they both loved, she could hear him groaning.

For good measure, she ate one of the decadent cookies before picking up the tray and carrying it to where her prey waited for her. Remus had made Sirius cry. He didn't deserve biscuits.

"Lily," Remus moaned with his arm draped across his face to keep the early morning sunlight from hitting his face. She made sure to set the tray down as hard as she could without risking the teapot. Then she settled herself in Remus' favorite armchair, wiggling as necessary to keep the weight of the baby off of her bladder. The kid seemed to have made a game out of kicking it lately. "Lily, I really don't need your coddling right now."

"Good," she snapped as she bit into another biscuit. She swallowed the bite before continuing. "I'm not here to coddle you. I'm here to smack you for being an idiot!"

"Sirius told you, huh?" Remus asked, sounding even worse than he had during the time following the Prank when the Marauders were practically broken up. That made sense, given how this was about another breakup. He rolled over to face the unlit fireplace. Lily rolled her eyes and flicked her wand at the partially burnt logs to rekindle the fire. Then she put it away completely, despite how much it would annoy Remus that she was leaving herself vulnerable to him (as if she didn't already know that his wolf-self saw her as the pack mother and was protective, not aggressive, because of her pregnancy).

"Listen," she started as she started on another biscuit from the plate on the tray, "the idea of you and Sirius actually dating rather than dancing around each other is something we have all been waiting for since first year when you both fell asleep on the common room couch. It was inevitable that you would kiss each other. So you have just got to ask yourself a very important question before turning your back on this." She licked the dark chocolate from her fingertips. "What do you want the most?"

"Uninterrupted sleep," Remus replied with a dry tone. She frowned at him, despite knowing that he couldn't see it with his back to her. He sighed heavily. "He deserves better, Lily."

"He deserves to love whoever he wants," she argued, "and to be loved in return."

"Don't quote Bowie at me," he grumped. She snorted.

"Cole recorded it first."

"And ahbez wrote it originally," Remus countered as he rolled over to face her finally. He stuck his tongue out at her childishly before sighing again. "Sirius deserves the world."

"And yet, for some stupid reason," Sirius interrupted from the doorway, "all I want is your dumb ass."

"And that's my cue to leave," Lily announced. She struggled to her feet. Then she scooped up the remaining jammy dodgers, prompting a protest from both Remus and Sirius. "Bad boys don't get biscuits!"

"They're my biscuits," Remus protested.

"I'm not a boy," Sirius argued at the same time. Lily rolled her eyes at both of them before shoving an entire cookie in her mouth. Sirius whined like he would in his canine form. "Why am I being punished? He's the one who kissed me and then broke up with me! We weren't even dating!"

"And you're the one who came to me to fix your love life," Lily said, waddling from the room. "I could have stayed home and enjoyed cuddling my tall drink of a husband."

"You were out of blackberry jammy dodgers, weren't you?" Remus asked, resigned.

"That's irrelevant."

"I'll bake you some more," Remus said. Lily grinned at him.

"And that's why you're my favorite, Remus," Lily told him. Then she left before Sirius could do more than sputter in surprise. They would figure it out.

Well, they would probably figure it out. She might have to come back just to check.

…and to pick up her cookies.