Chapter 17- Silver Bellcreek
When the world shatters around you, what do you think about? I think of flowers, fields of them, and gathering them with Flaire. Bringing them home to my mother, who arranged them in vases, or dried them between the pages of books. Once I picked so many peonies that Mum strung them into a garland and hung it over a window. They didn't turn ugly and brown; the peonies died slowly but beautifully, keeping their pinks to the last.
That's what I think as this train takes me closer and closer to the Capitol, and possibly to my own death. I'm not going to die beautifully, if I die at all; I've never felt more miserable in my life. Sanguin finally stopped hitting his head and moaning, after what felt like hours. It might have been; I can't tell time very well in here. And the only person who has a watch is Oak, who keeps to herself and speaks to nobody.
It's funny, but I don't hate her anymore. In a way, I feel like we're on the same side, because I finally decided to figure out that the Capitol doesn't mean me well, or any of us well for a matter of fact. I finally understand why the districts might have rebelled, if the Capitol has been like this to everyone else besides District 1. We are privileged, or were, anyway. I'm here, aren't I?
Aldera's asleep on the floor, but I can hear her breath rattling from where I'm sitting. Will she even live to see the Capitol? Next to me, Beade sits with her eyes closed. I know she's not asleep, but she's not talking to me either. She's still loyalist, and I don't exactly know what I am anymore.
One good thing about today is that the hole in the roof lets in a breeze that the slats didn't before, making the boxcar smell and feel better. Outside of this train, it's summer, and I'm missing it!
Buck slams his fists into the wall, wincing when the wood doesn't give. After Oak punched him, he went to sit over by the covered bucket in the corner. Why on earth he would want to go there, I don't know, but he keeps glaring over at us. Most everyone else is either asleep or pretending to be asleep right now. Cass isn't doing either; she's keeping her face to the crack in the wall like she always does.
"What's out there?" I ask, my voice croaky from not saying anything for a few hours. Beade's eyelids twitch, but she doesn't open them.
"I think we're going to be stopping soon," Cass says quietly; I can hardly hear her over the rattling of the train.
"How come?"
"It's not so bushy out there. I just saw a chain-link fence, so it's going to be a district soon."
"Wonder where that is," I say.
"Either going to be District 5 or District 2; they're the only two districts we haven't been to yet," Volt says, sitting up and running his hands through his hair.
"Maybe we can get off here, if we're quick," Osa says, proving herself to be awake too.
"If you were going to run for it, you should have done it this morning," Oak says, sitting up while wrapped in her quilt. I think she's been crying, but I'm not going to mention it.
"What's the time?" Aldar says. Oak throws him a look that would shrivel anyone else up inside, but he keeps his face blank. Finally, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a gold pocket watch and glances at it.
"Nearly half past three," she says.
"What day is it?" I ask, feeling stupid that I don't know the date. I always knew the day, even during the war. It feels like I've been on this train for a thousand years.
"Does it matter?" Glow says, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. Glow's strong, and a lot taller than I am; that doesn't mean much in here, though. Everyone's taller than me. I'm pretty sure I'm the shortest; even Cinder's a little bit taller than me, and he's small. How much of a chance am I going to have of getting home?
"Well I'm betting it's going to be District 5, since 2 is so close to the Capitol," Osa says. "It makes sense, doesn't it?" It does, actually. So we're pulling into District 5; who are we going to pick up here?
Cass was right; we start slowing down only minutes after she tells us about the chain link fence. Beade opens her eyes, but keeps ignoring me. "We're friends, aren't we?" I ask her.
"Thought we were."
"Nothing changed," I say, but even as the words leave my mouth, I know I'm wrong. Everything changed, or rather, I changed in a blink of an eye.
"Really?" Beade says, raising an eyebrow at me. "You turned from loyalist to rebel in a night."
"No, no I didn't. I'm not a rebel." Honestly, I'm edging more towards neutral, like Cass and Aldar. It's a safe place to be, don't you think? Even though Oak keeps getting mad at the neutral people, nothing really bad seemed to happen to them. But I'm not going to tell Beade that.
"Thank god for that," Beade says icily.
"Oh, come on, don't be that way," I say. "I don't want to make an enemy out of you."
"Then don't."
"Beade, come on."
"Fine! Fine, we're still friends," Beade says, but I don't think her heart is in it.
"We're here," Cass says. "Let's get away from the door." She, Osa, and Willow scoot backwards until they're sitting directly underneath the hole. I don't know if the Peacekeepers will notice we're three down, or the massive hole in the ceiling, but I hope they don't. I kind of like the idea of Tazzel, Birches, and Tulsee running free.
The train coasts to a stop and the rattling ends almost immediately. I don't think my ears will ever be the same after what, three or four days, on this train. Almost everyone is sitting up at attention, most hiding their hands behind them, like I'm doing. The last thing I want is to have those cuffs put on me again.
"Stand back! I do not want any trouble from you!" a man shouts from outside. We all stay stonily quiet as the lock is removed and the door slides open, revealing a world that's both grey and green. All I can see is what appears to be a bombed-out train station, a concrete platform, and green grass at the edge of it.
And standing on the platform is a Peacekeeper with a scarred face, a tall and muscled boy with blonde hair, and a little girl with the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen, and long curling red hair. Her eyes widen when she sees us all in the boxcar, but she doesn't say anything.
"Get in, and good riddance," the Peacekeeper snaps, shoving the little girl towards the train. Her hands are locked in front of her, so she doesn't have too difficult a time climbing in, but the look on her face makes me want to cry. The boy follows after her; no problems from these two.
The Peacekeeper leans in and looks around the boxcar. His lips move, but I can't hear anything he's saying, until he bursts out, "Nineteen?"
"What?" Aldar asks, since he's nearest the door.
"There's only nineteen of you in here; I have it on record that there should be twenty-two."
"No, that's accurate," Cinder says, surprising me.
"It is not!" the Peacekeeper shouts, hitting the side of the door and making the boxcar slightly shake. "Where are the others?"
"They escaped!" Beade says. What? What is she doing?
"No they didn't!" Willow says vehemently.
"They did!"
"Shut it!" The Peacekeeper's eyes rove around the entirety of the boxcar, coming to rest on the hole in the roof. "Damn it." With that, he backs up on the platform and starts calling for somebody.
"Why would you do that?" I ask, looking Beade full in the face.
"They're rebels, and rebels should be caught. Why should we be the ones to pay for their crimes?"
"They didn't commit any crimes," I say. "You've just condemned them to death."
"It's not like they don't deserve it."
My mouth drops slightly open in shock. How could I ever have been friends with this girl? And how could I have been like her?
"I can't sit with you," I mutter, getting up from where I've sat the past few days. This time I've surprised Beade; I don't think she thought I would ditch.
"Alliance is over if you walk away, Silver."
"I don't want to be in your alliance."
While the Peacekeeper is raving outside at somebody else, I walk towards the little girl, who's still sitting by the door, wide eyed. I hold out my hand to her, but she doesn't take it at first. She just looks up at me.
"Will you be my ally?" I ask, still holding my hand out. Maybe she isn't the strongest person on this train, and maybe I've just condemned myself to death by leaving Beade and Glow and Flick, but I want to be a better person than them. Even if it brings me a quicker death.
She's going to need someone in here, and I don't want her to be a Cinder or a Jet, who sit on the sidelines and wait for death. For how ever long we're in here, I want her to be my ally.
"Me?" she says finally, in a soft voice.
"You."
She hesitates a moment longer, then takes my hand in both of hers and stands up, leaving her district partner behind. The two of us walk and find an empty space between Jet and Sanguin; not the optimal place to be, but I'll take it.
"I'm Silver," I say to her as we sit down. "We can get your cuffs off later, once we start the train again."
She smiles and says, "I'm Violet."