Welcome to Chapter Twelve. This chapter is a snippet of more to come, I plan to turn this one into a full-fledged fic when the time is right.

Constructive criticism is appreciated.

"The Great Pretender"

Bucky woke with a gasp, drenched in a cold sweat, with violent images thrust into the forefront of his mind thanks to his subconscious.

Another face…another bullet…another life taken by his hand.

It took him a few moments to remember where he was. He was sitting up in bed, still checking his hands for the blood splatter when it started coming back…Case's apartment, Case's bed…

He didn't want to wake Case to be honest – though he was surprised she wasn't already up and trying to calm him down. But…he didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth – while it was good to have Case to ground him after nightmares, it was also good to know she was getting some sleep. She'd been having trouble sleeping through the night for as long as he'd known her.

Moving as quietly as he could to get out of bed, he headed for the bathroom, intending to splash some cold water on his face. Sleep wasn't likely going to return for a while, if at all for the night.

He was drying his face with a soft green hand towel when he heard it…

"Aaaaaay-oh!"

Bucky gave a sigh as he lowered the towel and gave his reflection a tired glare as a crowd repeated the call.

"Ay-ay-oh!"

"Ay-ay-oh!"

He left the bathroom, instead of making the left turn to go back to the bedroom he made the right toward the living room.

That was why Case didn't wake up to calm him down. She wasn't asleep…she wasn't there.

The only source of light was the large flat-screen television Case had against the wall – other than that all lights were out, and moonlight was pouring in through the plate glass window that had the curtains open.

Anytime Bucky saw that he had to fight the reflex to pull them. He knew Case loved that window – she'd told him it was one of the reasons she'd gotten the place, but when the curtains were open it made him feel too open and exposed. In his own place he kept his windows covered, his doors locked…

The soft sound of glass breaking…

The dart hit her in the back of her neck, and she dropped to the floor…

Bucky blinked and tried to shake the memories away.

On the television screen, Freddie Mercury continued his back and forth with the audience, working the crowd in a way that only he was capable of.

Bucky could see a long black cable running from the TV to Case's laptop, and he gave a sigh, Of course…

For a moment, Bucky tried to remember where he was at during that time – he was pretty sure he was in and out of the ice during the Eighties…while the faces of those he killed were coming back with alarming clarity, the timeframes were still blurred.

He vaguely recalled advertisements for Live Aid…maybe he had been out of the ice around that time? He recalled a few Hydra agents singing 'Another One Bites the Dust' on more than one occasion…because they were classy like that.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 'Hammer to Fall'!"

Bucky blinked again as he came back to reality and looked over to the sofa, eyebrows raised in concern.

Case was laying stretched out on the couch – still dressed in the long-sleeved gray Henley shirt and black leggings she'd worn to bed, with her wavy brown hair tied up in a messy knot. But she wasn't moving…when Queen was playing – and especially 'Hammer to Fall' – Case at least acknowledged, maybe a head bob or she'd start singing along. At most she'd strut around like Freddie was currently doing on stage in the video, acting like she had a microphone stand in her grip.

Bucky knew that last part from experience – he'd seen her do it.

Case's eyes were on the television…but something seemed…off.

Concern grew as he made his way over to the sofa, Case seemed to be in her own little world – didn't even react when he lifted her ankles and plopped her feet in his lap as he sat down. When he looked closer, he could see her eyes were kind of glazed over, a little unfocused.

He got a reaction when he scribbled his fingers over the soles of her feet – Case gave a yelp and tucked her knees into her chest.

"What the hell Buck?" She snapped with a glare.

"I was trying to get your attention."

"Don't touch my feet," Case growled.

"Would you have preferred I went after your belly?"

Case crossed her arms over her stomach protectively, and scowled at him as she placed her feet flat on the couch cushion, "What do you want Bucky?"

"I want to know where you were just now."

Case looked at him in confusion, "I was right here…you know, on the couch? Where you just found me?"

"I found you staring off into space."

Case frowned and looked over at the screen, "Hey, 'Hammer to Fall'…"

"Yeah…Freddie Mercury announced that before they started playing it."

"That means I must've missed 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and 'Radio Ga-Ga'," Case added, sitting up to reach for her computer. She lifted the panel and ran her finger across the track pad to reload the video.

"Cassidy," Bucky frowned.

"What?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and closed the laptop panel as Freddie took the stage to greet the cheering crowd, "You weren't in bed…"

"Did you have a nightmare?" Concern filled her voice now as she sat up.

"This isn't about me!" Bucky snapped. He took a deep breath – he didn't want to yell at her. Yelling solved nothing, and they spent too much time not talking with each other already. "We went to bed last night together…did you actually sleep?"

Case sighed, "Buck…it's fine. I'm fine, I…"

"Cassidy…you're not fine!"

Case's eyes narrowed, and Bucky could see her jaw clenching, "You know…I really hate it when people tell me how I feel."

"Maybe people would tell you it less if you actually faced how you're feeling like a normal person, instead of ignoring it and pretending you're fine when you're not." You're losing credibility here, James, a voice inside his head told him.

"Great, so I tell them I'm not fine and they go off and come to some half-baked conclusion. People don't want to know what I think, what I feel…they just want to have everything fit into some cookie-cutter solution while at the same time yelling at the top of their lungs that not everyone fits into that cookie-cutter method but nobody seems to want to actually do anything about it!"

"I want to know how you feel!" Bucky snapped. "And from what you've told me your friends want to know! Sam wants to know…and that Stark kid, he wants to know. And you can't tell me that Steve and Ryder don't want to know—"

"Those two are like opening a can of worms," Case pointed out. "Ryder just sees me as his innocent little sister, and Steve…"

"Is a stubborn punk," Bucky said with a small smile.

Case, however, didn't return the smile. She folded her arms across her chest and got to her feet, heading for the door. Bucky was worried she was going to walk out, but she just stopped and thunked her forehead against it, shoulders slumping as she gave a sigh of defeat.

She finally turned to face him, resting her back against the door. "Why do you still want to be with me?"

Bucky frowned at her, "Is that a trick question?"

Case shook her head, "No…it's not."

Bucky licked at his lips for a moment, then said, "You looked at Steve as a person…not some sickly thing that couldn't function in the real world, and you helped protect him but still gave him room to be himself. You raced off with him to help save the rest of the Hundred and Seventh and when Steve asked you went back onto the battlefield for more."

"I went with him to save you," Case pointed out, eyes going to her feet.

Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face as he got to his feet, "You're a hero…you're an Avenger."

Case sighed, "Is that the only thing you like about me?"

"No," Bucky shook his head as he walked toward her. "I've always admired how you can call someone out on their bullshit and give Steve a run for his money in the stubbornness department. You stand up for what's right…you don't back down. You also…" He chewed on his lip, trying to find the words, "You were always your own person. Sure, you were Ryder's sister…my and Steve's friend…but you always were more than that. You went off on your own and did your own thing, whether that was singing or dancing…you didn't let anyone tell you what you could or couldn't do, or that you should behave a certain way because it was what everyone else thought was the right thing to do." He raised his left hand, the metal glinting in the moonlight coming in from the window. "And you still want to be with me in spite of this—"

"Why would I judge about a metal arm?" Case asked. "I have adamantium fused to my bones, as does my father, and my mother and brother can hypnotize people with their hands…a man with a metal arm is a pretty normal thing to me."

"So why would I not want to be with you?"

Case gave another sigh, and headed back toward the couch, "I had a nightmare…Silverfox was…"

When she didn't continue, Bucky cocked his head at her, "What was she doing?"

"She uh…" Case didn't seem to be able to finish the thought, she just sat down on the couch. She wiped at her eyes, "She was just…running her mouth like she always did…"

"Look, whatever she told you," Bucky said quickly, "I…"

What was there to say? He couldn't spout the same nonsense Case usually did regarding it not being his fault…sure Hydra had control, but he still did it. It was his hand that fired the guns, that wielded the knives…he'd ended…

"It wasn't about you," Case said, cutting into his reverie. She gave a weak chuckle, "At least nothing you did as the Winter Soldier…and it doesn't matter what you did to begin with. I know it was you…I get that. But you weren't in control…they were."

Case was side-stepping…she was hiding something from him, he could tell. "Case…"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it," Case sighed.

"But Case…aren't you the one that always wants me to tell you about my nightmares?"

"Yeah, and I try not to push you into telling what happened."

Bucky grit his teeth, trying to find a better argument. "Case…you can't keep pretending you're fine. You're not…and you got into a place where even Queen couldn't help you. You didn't even know I was in the room until I tickled you."

Case sighed, her shoulders slumping, eyes going to the floor.

Bucky's shoulders slumped as well, and when she didn't say anything to him, he finally said, "You don't have to tell me…but you're not fine. You might be able to fool those friends of yours…and if you have Ryder and Steve fooled—"

"I don't live with them in New York…not exactly, anyway," Case reminded him. "We each have our own floor of the Avengers' Tower…and I told Jarvis to not tell them or call them unless I said so."

"Why not?"

"Because they had their own problems trying to adjust," Case rolled her eyes. "I don't want to pile on my problems and insecurities too."

"But…Ryder's your brother, and Steve…" Bucky trailed off.

Case gave a huff, "I'm sorry…and why are you still avoiding Steve?"

"You know why."

"Steve doesn't hold any of it against you."

"He's a punk that doesn't know when to back down from a fight…"

Those were some of the memories that had come back first…the beating he'd given Steve. Bucky still wasn't ready to face him, even after all this time…all Steve had been to him was 'The Man on the Bridge' in the brief moments before they'd stuck him in the chair and erased his memories…he could remember punch after punch, yelling at Steve that he didn't know him…that he was his mission…

"Then finish it…because I'm with you till the end of the line…"

"Bucky…" Case was suddenly in front of him, her hands reaching up to touch his cheeks.

He gave a gasp for breath and he blinked, "Huh…"

"Sorry, you were starting to disappear," Case said, and he could see the worry in her eyes. "Are you still with me?"

Bucky released the fist he'd clenched his metal hand into. He gave a weak nod, "Y-yeah, I think so…"

Case rubbed her thumbs over his cheeks, "Come back to bed with me?"

Bucky gave a nod and followed her back into the bedroom. He crawled into bed first, sitting up with his back pressed against the headboard, and Case got in after, laying down and curling up against his right side, resting her head against his chest and draping her arm across his waist, clutching his shirt like he was going to disappear.

He rubbed his right hand up and down her back, "Whatever the dream was…was it that bad?"

Case buried her face in his chest now, her arm tightening around his waist.

"I'm sorry," Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair.

They sat in silence, Bucky still rubbing her back, Case still clutching him for dear life. He thought she'd fallen asleep for a few moments…then she shifted and rested her cheek against him.

"My mother's alive, Buck."

He frowned at looked down at her, "What?"

"My mother…who I thought had died back in nineteen twenty-three…is alive."

"Your…" Bucky wasn't sure how to respond. "Have you seen her?"

"I have."

"What…" Bucky still struggled to wrap his head around the idea. He knew very little about the mysterious Mother Howlett – and that was before Hydra got ahold of him. "What was…is she—"

"She looks exactly as she did when she told us to go hide in the closet," Case told him.

She was trembling now, and Bucky tightened his grip on her, "Even after all this time?"

"Even after all this time."

"So, she ages like your dad."

"Guess so."

Bucky could feel wetness start to soak through his t-shirt, and he reached up to wipe at Case's tear-stained cheeks with his thumb, "I take it this wasn't a happy reunion?"

"She's done a lot of horrible things, James," Case whispered. "She's hurt a lot of people…she's not the person I thought she was."

No wonder she can't sleep, Bucky thought with a sigh as he squeezed his arm around her, "I'm sorry, Cass—"

"Don't call me 'Cassidy'," Case cut him off. "Not now…please."

Bucky frowned but nodded, "Alright, Case."

She got like that sometimes…it was new, that much Bucky knew for sure. He could only assume it was because Silverfox had always referred to her as 'Cassidy' if she called her by her name at all.

"Is that what Silverfox was telling you in your dream?" Bucky asked.

Case gave a shrug, "Kind of…yeah…but she told me the truth when we were in Siberia. The nightmare just…twisted it, I guess…"

"Have you tried talking to your friend Sam about your nightmares?"

Case shook her head, "I told him about that last one I had from Siberia…at least that I had one…"

"But you didn't go into any details?"

"Just that I almost died in Siberia," Case admitted. "And that my mother is alive…he knows that too."

"I feel like I should be offended that you told him before me."

Bucky had meant it as a joke – in all honesty, he was just glad Case had told somebody. She was notorious for overthinking things and only expressing herself when she couldn't hide the truth any longer.

Evidently though, it was the absolute wrong thing to say, considering he was suddenly holding empty air and Case's bedroom closet was slamming shut.

"Shit…" Bucky crawled out of bed and sat down in front of the closet door. "Case—"

"Just go away."

Bucky cringed – it sounded like Case was actively crying now. "Case…I'm not offended you told Sam instead of me…he's your friend, and he's trying to help—"

"What the hell can anyone say that can help with this?" Case sobbed. "There's nothing you can say that can make this okay! That will erase the twenty some odd years of insomnia I had even before the ice! To fix the abandonment issues that I thought were long behind me, only to have them spring up again after finding out the truth!"

Bucky shook his head, "I don't think you ever really lost the abandonment issues, Case."

"Fuck off!"

"I'm just saying…you don't like relying on others, you're afraid to let someone close because you're afraid that once they see something about you that they don't like they'll walk away."

"It's not that simple, James."

"Then make it simple, Cassidy," Bucky called to her.

Case didn't, however, she just remained in the closet. Bucky was sure he heard her try and say something, but the sobbing and closet door muffled any of the words she spoke.

With a sigh, Bucky made himself comfortable against the foot of the bed, resting his head against the mattress as he stared at the closed door.

It wasn't the first time he'd waited for Case outside of a closed door…it wouldn't be the last.

Whatever it was she was trying to hide…she'd have to face it sometime.