Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if need be.

Author's Note: The problem with being childhood best friends with some will always be that they know your mother. In other news, I do not use the imperialist accents that JKR did (because I'm not racist) nor did I not write half this fic in French making it inaccessible to the majority of my readers. Swears, endearments, and titles are not translated, either. Mostly because "little cabbage" just doesn't have the same feel that it does in French. If it looks like a weird misspelling, it is either deliberately untranslated French (the vibe is needed not the translation) or a name. As a final note, I suggest not eating or drinking anything as you read this.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 13); MC4A
Individual Challenges: Bonjour-Hi; Gryffindor MC; Hufflepuff MC; Ravenclaw MC; Beaubatons MC; Durmstrang MC; Magical MC (x5); Neurodivergent; Rian-Russo Inversion (x4); Ethnic & Present (x2); Hold the Mayo (x2); Lovely Triangle; Ship Sails; Setting Sail; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Short Jog; Bucket Listing; Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Green Ribbon; Greatest Gift (Y)
House: Slytherin
Assignment No.: Term 13 – Assignment 02
Subject (Task No.): Audiotory (Task#2: Write about a language barrier.)
Other Hogwarts Challenges:Insane Prompt Challenge [949](Impossible Things); 365 [01](Abhorrent); Herbology Club [IP](Wristwatch); Auction [14-1](Someone Fluent in Another Language)
Other MC4A Challenges: Su Bingo [4C](Mountain); AU [2D](Pen Pals); Hunt [Su WD](Roma/Romani); Chim [Kinzie]("Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man); Ship (Brilliant Snitch)[Su Med 1](Best Friend Test); Fire [Hard](Adventure Writer); Garden [HPverse](Durmstrang N/PR)
Representation(s): Chosen Two Seekers; Fleur/Viktor QPR; Desi Harry & Hermione; Polylinguists
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Lyre Liar; Muck & Slime; Abandoned Ship; Head of Perseus; Surprise!; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; White Dress; Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Middle Name; Mother Hen; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Three's Company; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts); Chorus (Pear-Shaped; Pocky Pockets; Wabi Sabi; Bee Haven; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow's Shade; A Long Dog; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Wind Beneath)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: T3 (Toad); SN (Rail; Intercept); LiCK (Yarrow); FR (Satisfaction; Evolution); O3 (Orator; Olivine); TY (Kulonbozo; Enfant)
Word Count: 1928

(^^)
Impossible Things
(^^)

Viktor Krum had a plan.

Or at least, he had half a plan.

Actually, to be honest, it was probably only twelve percent of a plan if one was being exceptionally generous in one's consideration. Okay, so maybe he only had the 'pah' part of a plan.

The point was that Viktor knew when he was outclassed, and he was not ashamed to admit that he needed help in this case. Daj would be proud of him for that. She always said he was too hot-headed and likely to attempt to just out stubborn anything that didn't immediately work out the way he wanted.

Still, if he was ever going to convince Hermione Granger to give him the time of day, Viktor had his work cut out for him. A girl as pretty as Hermione probably had many suitors competing for her attention, even if he only ever saw her with the boy that he believed was her brother (given how they were both the same shade of sienna and had a mass of unruly curls, this was likely) until he had shown up in the antechamber as the second Hogwarts champion and now he could only hope that they were not in a relationship. That was before accounting for her fierce intelligence and kind nature. His halting and heavily accented English was simply not enough to communicate everything that he wanted to say to her.

Fortunately, he knew that he had an ally who might be willing to help him. The Delacours and the Krums had often attended similar functions throughout Europe. Their fathers were both ambassadors for their respective countries, after all. As an added bonus among the backwards British wixen, Fleur's veela heritage made her just as much of an outcast as Viktor's Romany heritage did.

"Bonjour, Fleur," Viktor greeted after he managed to catch her leaving the Great Hall. He fiddled nervously with the wristwatch he wore on his right wrist facing downwards. He continued in French that had only the Nice accent of his childhood tutor. (And he ignored the part of him that wanted to gnash his teeth in frustration over his thick, almost incomprehensible Bulgarian accent on his English. The Bulgarian didn't even affect his Romany! It just wasn't fair!) "I would like to ask a small favor, if you have the time."

"For you, ami?" Fleur answered in flawless Parisian French, despite the fact that he knew it was an act. Despite her father's position in the magical side of the French government, both of his daughters had been raised in the hills of Montmartre and had to have elocution lessons to get rid of the associated accent. "I will make the time."

They made their way to one of the numerous abandoned classrooms in the school. Truly, Hogwarts was strange in that regard. There seemed to be more rooms left to gather dust than there were in use. At least it worked out for their needs then.

"What is this favor?" Fleur asked, again in French, as soon as they were squared away in the the privacy of the classroom. This one appeared to have been used for Ancient Runes before its abandonment. "And if you wish to prank anyone like we did the German minister's niece, I want you to know that I am fully aboard and may have begun developing a list of people who need to be taught manners, despite the rumors I've heard about a pair of twins who claim to be the pranksters here and likely to retaliate against anyone else working in their school."

"That would be an interesting challenge to take up if we did not have this tournament," Viktor admitted, still in French. "But not right now. There is always time to work through your lesson plans later. Now I need you to help me fix my English."

"Oh, ma déesse," Fleur cursed in a low, breathless voice, "do not tell me that you have fallen for one of these abhorrent people!" As if to emphasis her point, she began repeating it in French sign language with gestures as sharp as her tongue. "They do not even know how to properly cook, chouchou! I have not seen a single piece of meat in this drafty pile of rocks that has not been burnt to a crisp!"

"You don't even eat meat," Viktor protested, mirroring the use of simultaneous sign just like Fleur had. "You're a vegetarian!"

"It's the principle of the matter!" Fleur screeched, throwing her arms up. "The protein they offer would not be worth it even if I did eat meat!"

"I hope you end up with a carnivore!" Viktor returned. Fleur gasped like she had just been hit with a strong Stinging Hex. Her delicate hands came up to clutch at the loose fabric of her robe between her breasts.

"How dare you," she said. The offense she felt was clear in her melodious voice. "You take that back this instant!"

"Or you'll do what, princesse?" Viktor asked just to needle her. Fleur growled at him, her face flushing as she began to visibly glow with her anger. She even went so far as to stomp her foot like she used to when they were six. Then it all dissipated like the morning fog as the sun rose and she smiled sweetly at him. His stomach felt like he had just started a dive on his broom, and he had no idea how to pull safely out of it. His French came out softened around the edges with Bulgarian inflections. "What are you planning, princesse?"

"I will write to Tante Jaelle," Fleur said just as sweetly as she was still smiling. Viktor felt like he had just crashed instead of managing to pull out in time. Just to prove her point, Fleur switched to lightly accented Romany as she continued. "I'm sure that your mother would be quite displeased to hear that you are picking on poor, helpless me."

"You're as helpless as a nesting dragon," Viktor countered weakly in the same language. She smiled toothily at him.

"And you should remember what happened last time you faced one of those, chouchou," she said, switching back to French. She brushed imaginary lint off her robe, clearly appeased by his obvious fear of her carrying tales to his mother. Fleur clapped her hands once and shook them out to the sides, dismissing the topic entirely. "Now, about your problem. I am uncertain what results you think I can achieve that your tutor has not been able to pull out of you. If this person would truly think so little of your inability to speak their tongue flawlessly, I do not think they are worthy of your affection."

"Hermione will not care," Viktor explained desperately. "But I want her to be able to understand my meaning without struggle. She deserves to know just how precious she is."

At that exact moment, someone stumbled into the room. Or rather it was two people stumbling into the room because they were kissing desperately like they would die if they took their lips off each other and a third person doing her best to keep them from tripping over things. Viktor instantly recognized them. The two desperately kissing were the Hogwarts champions while the girl who was guiding them was the same one Viktor had believed was Diggory's girlfriend—and maybe that was true, given how comfortable she was touching the older boy while her hands were more exploring over Potter.

"As entertaining as zhis is," Fleur said in English, causing the trio to spring apart guiltily, "zhis room is occupied currently." She looked at Viktor for a long moment as if measuring something. He recognized her plotting expression just in time for her to turn back towards the invaders. "Actually, you may be 'elpful, M. Potter. You are friends with Mlle. Granger, no?"

Unconsciously, Fleur had continued to signing as she spoke. She had a tendency to do that, brought up as she was on the host of international events which often required such accommodation. Viktor hadn't been expecting the recognition that Potter seemed to have of the language. Not many of the British wixen knew any kind of sign language let alone a foreign sign language.

"Hermione's my best friend," Potter confirmed, matching his words with hesitant French sign. The motions were a bit jerky with the same tension running through his voice. It was like he was expecting that he would need to defend the friendship. Given what he knew about the backward prejudices of the British wixen, Viktor wouldn't have been surprised if Potter had actually needed to more than once. "What of it?"

"I zhink my idiot friend likes 'er," Fleur said boldly. Viktor hissed in alarm, not caring that he sounded like his mother's cat when someone accidentally stepped on his tail. Potter glanced at him before focusing back on Fleur's hands. "He called 'er precious just a moment before you rudely interrupted us."

"Precious, huh?" Potter asked. His suspicion gave an edge to both his voice and his gestures. His green eyes track over Viktor like he was trying to decide if he was worthy of his friend. Then Potter looked back at Fleur. "What's the problem, then?"

"Ze idiot part of him," Fleur admitted, sounding a bit embarrassed by the admission. Which was not fair. He was not being irrational to worry about his accent! It was perfectly logical! His English came out like he had gargled the words with glass. It was horrid and hard to understand! "He zhinks she will not understand him because of his accent."

That measuring gaze came back again. Viktor did not tend to be intimidated by much. He understood his skills and talents too well to feel that kind of doubt. However, he felt very much like he would rather be facing that nesting mother dragon again than in this classroom before the best friend of the witch he was crushing on. Viktor nervously fiddled with his wristwatch again.

"Hermione's been teaching me French," Potter said finally. "Because she's desperate for someone to practice with, you see." He shrugged. "If you're concerned about the accent getting in the way if you speak in English, you could probably just talk to her in French." Potter gave a small grin, similar to Fleur's plotting smile. "You could even offer to teach her Bulgarian. Hermione loves languages and learning new things."

"Hermione speaks French?" Viktor asked, too surprised to wince at the thick Bulgarian accent on the question. Potter's grin grew just the tiniest bit. It was like he knew a secret that he wasn't supposed to or that no one expected him to know.

"Her family takes a trip to Nice every summer," Potter supplied. Viktor felt a bit dazed by that information, like someone had just hit him on the forehead with a jeweler's hammer. "She really likes the local accent there."

"See?" Fleur asked when Viktor could do nothing but stare into space after receiving that piece of information. "I love him dearly, but Viktor is an idiot."

"That's okay," Potter reassured her easily. "Hermione will get him sorted out. She's good at it actually."

Even with the realization that the language barrier he had believed to be between him and Hermione not actually existing, Viktor couldn't help feeling like he was about to catch the Snitch at another Quidditch Cup. Perhaps this time, he might even win the game.

After all, nothing seemed impossible at the moment.