Heya folks! So, I'm bored and procrastinating doing my Maths work because... do I really need to explain why I hate Maths? But anyway, this really cute poem idea popped into my head, and I promised my friend Falsettos123 that I would write her a Hazeyna oneshot thingy, so this was born! There is really not enough of this ship in the fandom :( anyway, on with the fic/poemy thing!
They, not She
She smiles, her hair
shining, glowing in the sun,
and I want to just say it.
The words are on
the tip of my tongue
every second I'm with her.
And that terrifies me.
And I love her,
and I want to just say it,
but I can't.
It's wrong.
It's bad.
I am unfixable.
I detest my long curly hair,
my curvy figure, my
eyelashes that touch my flushed skin.
I shouldn't. I should be grateful,
to be such a pretty...
Such a pretty...
...
...
I can't even say it.
All it would be is a verbal conformation
of every wrong, disgusting
thought that has ever
crossed my mind.
The fact that I don't
feel like a 'her', a 'she',
a 'girl'.
Because, as much as I don't feel like
THAT, I don't feel like a...
a 'him', a 'he',
a 'boy' either.
And as much as I love Reyna..
I can't bring myself
to risk this.
Risk what have been the happiest few months
of my second life over something
as stupid as being...
I don't know.
Confused?
I feel like an alien around these people sometimes,
with their clean-cut genders
and their clean-cut sexualities.
Gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, male, female.
On the Argo II, for example,
with the bathrooms for the
boys, and the girls.
And none of them batted an eyelash.
I wanted to throw up,
when I saw those;
not just from being away from Reyna
or seasickness,
but the fact that I had to choose.
Why should the crew of the Argo II
be any different to the people
in my first life,
with their jeers and taunts over
the fact that I liked to wear trousers.
And even now, that we're safe
and at Camp Jupiter
and I'm with Reyna,
every time I see those bathrooms
I feel like throwing up
all over again.
They exist, it seems,
as an almost constant
reminder of my self-hatred.
And yet, even with
this weight: this heavy, heavy weight,
whenever I see her,
I want to. To trust her.
To let her in.
To let her see the part of me I keep
hidden away, under
lock and key.
Whenever I see her,
I almost give myself away.
Almost give away the fact
that I'm not a she.
I'm a they.
Ahhhhh ok. I love this ship I think they are very cute (even if they will never be canon). What did you guys think? I am quite proud of this actually. If you enjoyed this, make sure to request your favourite couple and go check out some of my other fics!
Sayonara!
- Zoe