It appeared Eva was becoming a magnet for every super in the US, and a couple more on top. This week, it was Ant-Man.

It started on Monday, when Sam came in during the early afternoon looking really rather dishevelled. The rest of the Avengers were spread far and wide across the globe Avenging and he was the only one not on an op, so she was surprised to see him looking decidedly battered.

"What happened to you?" she asked him, rather less sympathetically than a girlfriend should.

He mumbled indistinctly in response, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry?" she asked. "Didn't quite catch that."

"I got beat up," he said, a little louder.

"So? You get beat up all the time, it's your job. What's so special?" she narrowed her eyes at him. "Was it another super?"

"No. Yeah. Kinda."

"You wanna tell me about it?"

"No," he muttered, and she grinned.

"Darlin', it'll make you feel better."

"… he was really small," he finally admitted.

She paused over the coffee she was making him. "What, like four foot eight?"

Instead of speaking, Sam held up his hand with his thumb and forefinger held about an inch away from each other.

She stared at him.

"He had a suit that made him shrink," Sam elaborated, radiating embarrassment.

"You- you got the shit beaten up out of you by a pixie," she stated, and began sniggering.

"Shut up, Eva. It's not funny."

"Oh, no. Sorry," she said, managing to stop for a whole ten seconds before doubling over and starting to wheeze again. "Dude… oh, my God… this- this is freakin' ridiculous…"

Sam glared at her as she howled silently, tears streaming down her face. "You're an asshole."

%

On Thursday, Sam was back- this time with a scruffy guy who appeared to be enjoying Sam's company much more than the other way round.

"I mean, honestly," he was saying as they walked in, "this is such an honour. Like, I would totally understand if you wanted to throw me against a brick wall a few times- not that you could- but this is great. You're a better man than me, Mr Wilson. Seriously."

"Morning," said Eva, "who's the date?"

"Don't," muttered Sam.

"Wait- wait- is he the tiny guy who beat you up?" she asked, and the guy extended a hand.

"Scott Lang," he introduced himself as, "or Ant-Man. Whichever you prefer. Although Scott would be better. Who calls themselves Ant-Man, huh?"

"You don't look very small," Eva said, stating the obvious.

"It's optional," he told her, and raised an eyebrow as she began to giggle.

"Dude, thank you. Your drink is on the house," she told him, still chuckling away as she turned to the machine. "Anyone who bruises the great Falcon's ego is a hero in my book."

"Unbelievable," Sam said, and his phone bleeped. "I gotta go," he said, "work stuff."

"But what about our reconciliation drinks?" Scott asked, pulling a sad puppy-dog face.

"Don't push it, Bug Boy. See ya later," he added to Eva, and left.

"Tell me everything," said Eva, clocking off her shift and making herself a drink.

%

On Saturday, her new best friend Scott was back, along with a pretty woman with the most intense bob she had ever seen.

"Hope," Scott said cheerfully, "this is my buddy Eva. Eva, this is Hope, and I'm the love of her life."

"Go to hell," Hope told him, but she was smiling. "Soy latte, please."

"Sure. Same as last time for you, Scott?"

"Is it still free?"

"How hard did you hit Sam?"

"Like, super really hard. And I threw him a couple of times, too."

"Go on, then," she said, "but this is the last time."

"You're the real superhero, Eva Kresk." He winked at her as he took the mugs and strolled after Hope.

%

Sunday was the last time Eva saw Scott Lang, and it wasn't even at work. Instead, she was walking through Central Park when she heard him call her name, and turned to see the superhero waving at her along with a girl who wasn't yet tall enough to reach his hip.

Plot twist, she thought. "Afternoon, Bug Boy and… super cute sidekick?"

The girl grinned toothily. "Daddy, I'm your sidekick!"

"Actually," Eva continued, "she seems much too badass to be your sidekick. If anything, I'd say your hers."

"I am mortally offended by that," Scott retorted, hand over his heart as the little girl clapped her hands in delight. "I'm actually the most badass person in the world, in case you hadn't noticed."

"If you say so," she grinned. "I didn't know you had a daughter."

"Neither did I. She just started following me around New York, didn't you, peanut? I can't seem to shake her."

"He's being silly," the girl told her.

"He's a very silly person, from what I've gathered."

"Uh," said Scott, "rude."

"So your name's peanut then, kid."

"No!" she laughed, rolling her eyes. "I'm Cassie."

"Well, Cassie, that is a horrifying toy rabbit you've got there."

"I got him for my birthday and I love him!" she exclaimed, cuddling the satanic creation to her chest.

Eva raised her eyebrow at Scott. "I wonder who gave you that."

He stuck his tongue out at her and lifted Cassie up onto his shoulders. "I've had enough of being insulted by coffee girls. I mean, God, Eva, stop stalking me. Or are you another bad guy who I'm going to have to defeat in a suitably dashing and heroic way? If you are, you'll have to wait until we've finished our day out. We're very busy, I'll have you know."

She laughed, shaking her head. "You should be so lucky. Have a nice day, Super-Cassie and her fun-sized sidekick."

"Fun-sized is the best size!" Scott called after her as she walked away.

If that kid wasn't there, I could make so many dick jokes in response to that, she thought.

A/N everyone's favourite ant-based superhero. I've started putting names of characters on the chapters they first appear in, to make it easier to find your favs. Apologies if the grammar's worse than usual, I haven't had time to proof-read.