Chapter 21: The Hardest Part

Sentinel lay there, trying not to look at the shadows. He had told himself long ago that Sonic Trip's fairy tale was just that … a story to frighten sparklings. And yet, sometimes when he was not paying attention or when his mind was elsewhere, he would see the shadows move or hear something like a rusted, rotting joint creaking just outside the hallway. It disturbed him and he did his best to ignore it. He had bigger problems than supernatural paranoia after all. Like … what was he going to do when the sparkling came?

He still hadn't decided. Part of him wasn't against the idea of keeping the sparkling, but if he did that … would he have to live in Docker City? There was no going back to Cybertron. Then again, he could just give the sparkling up and pretend it had never happened. He could go back and claim drunkenness or … or something.

Moaning, a hand being placed on his head as a helm ache set in, the mech shook his head. He had been over this thought so many times. He couldn't have both: the Autobots and the sparkling. It wasn't like he could explain away his disappearance, set up a nursery in his flat and never tell anyone about him having a sparkling at home. That would be ridiculous, right?

Optics going wide for a moment, hand on his belly, Sentinel was about to consider the idea a little more seriously when suddenly … there was a sharp pain in his abdomen.

Sentinel automatically doubled over as he placed a calming hand on his swollen abdomen, his spark hammering. Venting in air, the mech was very still as he waited for another jolt of pain to come. When one did not, he wondered if it was a freak pain and yet as he sat up straight dwelling on if he should tell the doc-bot immediately or not, another pain came again along with a choked scream.

Sentinel, energon-spittle now dripping down his chin as he tried to gather himself. He might have even pressed that second pain off given his still damaged body … until he felt and then saw fluid start to seep from underneath his cod piece and all over his berth.

His spark hammer, the mech swallowed. I-it was too soon. He hadn't even made a choice yet.

…

"And you are sure that he is of no danger to you or the rest of the crew? Rodimus Prime seemed dead set on finding him and the simple tale of him being a deserter seems weak. This Rift Ring or Sentinel Minor as they call him just doesn't desert for nothing. Are you sure you are safe around him, Sonic Trip. If anything happened to you, your carrier-"

"I am fine, sire," said Sonic Trip with forced enthusiasm. True, Trimmer wasn't her real sire, but he was the mech that bonded with her carrier and gave Radio Wave a second chance at life and two more sparklings. She loved Trimmer, she did. He was just … suffocating sometimes and his expectations were a little too much for her. He really wanted her to join the city guard with him and stop this crazy adventuring of hers, but she … she didn't know what she wanted.

"Fine? They sent a whole team of armed Autobots all the way to Docker City for him. Sonic Trip, give me one good reason not to head there myself or tell the Prime where his lost-"

"He is Heavy!" sudden blurted out the femme, not knowing what else to tell her adoptive caretaker.

Trimmer, rearing back for a moment, frowned deeply and then asked, "What? Who?"

"Rift Ring," said Sonic Trip, unable to look the older mech in the optic. "He … he came with us to … to hurt himself … because he had been taken advantage of … and when we were putting him back together we noticed he was with … spark."

Timmer, his helicopter blades spread out, stared for a moment in surprised before he gained his usual collected expression, murmuring, "I… understand. Archa 7 would be a good place to hide away and … conceal your shames. It also explains why Restart was sent and not someone more skilled in field medicine."

For a moment there was an awkward silence that settled over the ship's control room before the mech sighed and asked softly, "Was It a Con? How far is he along? I haven't given the Autobots your ship's route yet so … you could miss each other or I could … misguide them. You know we are always ready to welcome more brothers and sisters into our midst."

Sighing, the femme rubbed her arm, feeling like a youngling in his presence. It had been a while since they had really talked. She purposely kept herself busy.

"Well … I don't know what his plans are … after the birth," said Sonic Trip carefully.

Nodding carefully, crossing his arms, he asked, "How far is he? Can he hide it from the Autobots?"

Thinking of how big Rift Ring was, the femme shook her head, "No, since he's now in-taking the right amount of energon and minerals … he's gotten very large, quickly in fact. I would say he is about to …"

"Pop?" said Trimmer, a soft smile on his face since he knew it was phrase Radio Wave always used to explain himself in that stage of the carrying.

"Yeah, pop," chuckled the femme slightly before she gained a more professional tone. "Sire, please distract the Autobots. Rift Ring's sparkling is special … I just know it. And he just needs to be away from them."

"Oh, and want makes you say that?" asked Trimmer, sharing a tentative smile.

The femme, slowly remembering why she loved Trimmer despite his pressing requests for her to become a guard, nearly bulked when a scream echoed over the halls. She, giving her sire a worried glance, whispered, "That was Rift Ring. I… I need to go."

"Wait, wait … Sonic Trip-"

"Bye sire, gotta go. T-that's probably the sparkling," said the femme, her destination none other than the medical bay. "Love you!"

Trimmer, left to stare at the screen, sighed. Well, he had nothing better to do right now. Now what was Rodimus' Prime's number.

…

"No, no, no! Please stop it. Ugh! I changed my mind … I-I can't do this," wailed Sentinel as he wrapped his hands around abdominal plating, cleaner already dripping down his face plates, his optics shivering as he watched a bluish liquid slowly dribble from between his legs and onto the berth.

Restart, in the room the moment Sentinel had first wailed about a sharp pain in his lower abdomen plating, stalled as he stared at the unadulterated fear in the blue mech's face. Quickly shutting the door before anyone else could come in during such a vulnerable time for the young bearer, the healer slowly came up to the berth and sat down on the edge of it, taking the panicking mech's hands into his own. Generally, he tried to keep a professional distance but the mech obviously did not mind physical contact when distraught.

In fact, he craved it. He probably had been loved as a child, held often, and doubtlessly spoiled. If Rift Ring decided to keep the sparkling … he likely would be a dotting parent.

"Sentinel, calm yourself. We spoke briefly of this. What's now happening is perfectly normal in the birthing stage. In fact the liquid that is coming out of your valve is just the liquid that has encased the sparkling's sack. The sparking is just dropping into position. You will have sharp pains that will progressively get shorter and shorter in between each other until … it comes time to push. That, unfortunately, may take awhile. The first sparkling generally takes awhile to come out, but the important thing is not to panic … this is all normal right now," said the healer softly, his voice even softer when he added. "Generally the sire would comfort you at this time, and generally I would stay if need be, but I have to prepare some equipment in case there are any … defects. I can ask one of the crew to sit with you while I prepare though."

"No-no! You can't leave me. What if something … something's … ah-ahhhh," suddenly wailed the young blue mech, suddenly clinging to the healer desperately as he went through a contraction.

Not knowing what else to do, the healer allowed the Autobot (he had no doubt what the mech's allegiance was) to cling to him and choke as he went through his contraction, more fluid leaking out onto the berth. He watched the mech slowly loosen as the contraction ended, though it was easy to see the young carrier's horror at seeing more fluid on the berth. There was no point in cleaning it up though. The more contractions the young bot went through, the more fluid there would be. Even after the birth, there promised to be a lot of fluids.

Standing up, the blue mech almost panicking when he thought the healer was leaving him, but Restart merely opened a nearby cupboard that had soft mesh sheets in it. True, it was just going to get covered in fluids by the end of this cycle, but if it brought the young mech some comfort during his first and probably only birthing, then so be it.

Slowly covering up Sentinel's legs, he sat on the edge of the berth and asked carefully, "It's going to be a while still. Your contractions aren't strong enough. So you want me to let in … Sonic Trip? You seem to value her company."

Sentinel, calming down slightly now that he couldn't see the puddle he was forming on the berth and no longer going through a contraction, nodded as he wiped a lone tear away. She always had a way of comforting him.

...

Sonic Trip's hands shook as she waited outside of the med bay. So … it was time. She didn't know if she should be excited or terrified that of everyone on the ship, Rift Ring wanted only her to sit by his side as if she were his bonded.

She had never had any sparklings of her own, but she did have two younger half-siblings. She recalled watching Trimmer hold her carrier when the sparkling started to drop, fluids everywhere. Her step-sire had been so scared. He was just petrified because he didn't know if the sparkling would drop right or if her carrier would accidently abort or offline due to complications.

For a carrier to go through that alone … it was cruel.

So she finally came into the medical bay, trying to look confident as she nodded at Restart, noting Rift Ring's soft sobs as he finished up what had to be another contraction.

"Thank you for doing this while I prepare," said the healer as he rose from his perch next to Rift Ring on the berth. "I need to make some final arrangements before the sparkling comes and … I didn't want him to be alone."

"Neither would have I wanted him to be alone," she admitted, her bulky form feeling tight and nervous. What if something went wrong on her watch? What if Rift Ring started offlining or if the sparkling suddenly popped out without warning or …

"You'll be fine. If something really goes wrong, I'm a com-link," said Restart, as if he was reading her mind.

Slowly, she nodded and then cautiously she walked up to the berth, placing a hand on Sentinel's hand, noting how much bigger her hand was compared to the full bred Autobot. If she wanted, she could call on her Decepticon genetics and snap his neck or smash in his helm or rip off his arm or … she wasn't cruel like her genetic sire, she reminded herself. She need not feel guilt for something she had no control in.

At least that was always what her Carrier would say and then he would always tell her to be kind. A Decepticon is not kind.

She was kind … despite where half of her genetics came from.

"How are you holding up Rift Ring?" said the femme as she slowly sat partially on the berth, facing the other as she tried to be personable. True, she could take this time to confront him about his real name, Sentinel Minor, or to warn him about the group of Autobots on his trail or something like that. But honestly, why add to his stress. Right now, there was only the sparkling and Rift Ring's health in mind and how she hoped both would come through this without a hitch.

Vents shivering, struggling to keep it together as he cringed and waited for the next contraction to hit, he smiled weakly and murmured, "Wonderful, just wonderful. I'm in extreme pain, fluids are leaking everywhere and I'm going to be sniveling and crying in the next few moments pathetically during my next contraction. How do you think I feel?"

Smiling at the mech's sarcasm, she nodded, "Well, I'm glad you feel wonderful. I was worried that you would be feeling lousy about having to squeeze something the size of your head out of your valve."

Regardless of the coming agony he was about to face, Sentinel chuckled slightly as he murmured, "I don't know if I can do this. I … it … just never seemed real until now."

"Pain has a way of reminding mechs of things especially when its lingering," said Sonic Trip carefully, before she added, "But … I think there's a way to make it a little more bearable. I know I'm not your bonded, I don't even know if you would call me a friend since we haven't know each other very long, but my step sire would hold my carrier in an embrace. My carrier said it was a small comfort to have another beating spark so close. It helped calm his spark somewhat … I could … If would didn't consider I too awkward or anything, hold you until its time. I mean … my big bulky form could at least be good for something."

Sentinel, cringing as he waited for the next pain to come, found himself loosening somewhat, his face gaining a softness. Here was this big bulky femme, origins obvious, and yet she was so much more than he thought she would be. She was intuitive and powerful and spiritual and courteous. She was so very kind. This femme was more of an Autobot than some Autobots he knew … and she was more Autobot than he.

"You are beautiful Sonic Trip," said Sentinel softly, "in the most important way … the spark. You have been more of a comfort to me in these last two groons than my own kind in vorns. I am glad to have met you … and I would be … honored to have your sit by side as if you were a bonded … or perhaps my sparkling's Wellmick (a godmother). You have cared more for that sparkling than anyone in all the universe … even more than me so … if … you want … in case I don't…"

Sonic Trip cut him off there, stating with a sad smile, "Yes, I would be honored to be the sparkling's Wellmick, and Restart is one of the best. Don't worry … the first one is always the hardest, but then again there is a reason they always say first."

Sentinel smiled grimly, his form tight in anticipation of the next contraction. He knew it would be soon. He wanted to tell her that there would be no more sparkling's from him. He might not even keep this one or Primus forbid a bonded, which was probably why he allowed the large femme to embrace him, to place his head on her chassis in a soft expression of platonic love. He honestly never knew if anyone would ever hold him again.

He didn't think he would ever be able to love again after all.

…

"Ahhhh! Primus! Primmmusss!" screamed Sentinel as the contraction forcing him to push, Restart between his legs as Inquis assisted him. Sonic Trip merely sat at his side and held his hand … her own fingers likely being crushed.

"There you go, come on, push Rift Ring. You are almost there. You are already crowning … not much longer," said the healer calmly as Sentinel collapsed back against the raised berth, his vents hiccupping.

"Y-you said that eight g-groons ago," whimpered Sentinel as he felt another contraction coming on, coolant tears dripping down his face.

"The first one is always the hardest Sentinel. Your hips and cannel are being adjusted," said Restart with a bitter smile. "If you would ever carry again … the birthing would be much easier."

Sentinel, chuckling darkly, bit out, "Yeah … next time. Like that would help me … ah, ah… frag."

"Okay, here comes a big one Rift Ring. Something's coming … something …"

Restart, at first was worried, thinking the legs of the sparkling were coming first instead of the head as something thing started to pop out of the swollen and bleeding valve, but then there was a wet plopping noise as something shot out entirely. Restart, surprised, tried to grab it, thinking he was going to drop the sparkling on its head, but instead his hands caught and nearly dropped a wet tube like item. For a moment, Restart and Inquis both stared at the thing in his hands in confusion as the contraction ended and the blue mech plopped back on the berth, utterly exhausted.

"Is that … a baster?" finally said Inquis as he peered at the other, Restart looking over the fluid covered item with a critical optic.

"What? How? Do I even want to know?" said Restart completely befuddled by what he had just witnessed … and he had seen a lot of messed up things.

Inquis, his blades falling back against his spinal strut, finally recalled Graph's desperate search for the baster in the mess hall. So that was where that had went to, but how had it gotten …

"Ugh… Ah Primus!" suddenly cried Sentinel as he sat up, a contraction hitting him hard as he desperately tried to push again, fluid spilling everywhere in large quantities as the valve started to swell open as something was pressed down and against it. This was it. The sparkling was coming.

"This is it Rift Ring. Come on. I need a big push, a really big push. You can do it," said the mech as he prepared himself to catch the slippery little creature when it came out.

"I-I can't, I can't. It's too hard," wailed Sentinel as the contraction continued, deep and painful, the young Carrier shaking as Sonic Trip kept him sitting up.

"No, you can, you have to. It's the hardest right before the end. Come on, you are young. Push. Push!" all but barked Restart in a tone so unlike his. He hated yelling or using a cruel tone, but he had seen Carriers give up and then he would lose one or the other … or both. Rift Ring was so close. He just had to push a little more.

"Rift Ring. Push. I need you to push!"

"I can't!" cried back Sentinel, his whole form exhausted and tired and aching. He just wanted to lie back down and be done. He was so tired. He just … wanted to offline his optics.

"Rift Ring, don't you dare offline your optics," barked Restart as worry started to overcome him. Rift Ring looked ready to pass out. If he passed out now … it was too late for a C-section. They both could offline.

Coming away from Sentinel's leg, Inquis taking up the post quickly between those spread legs, Restart looked Sonic Trip in the optic and told her flatly, "I need you to help him push. If he doesn't get this done soon he may pass out … and I don't know if I can save both of them with the equipment I have available."

Sonic Trip, optics becoming bright, looked down at the exhausted mech, he was so out of it he hadn't even registered what the healer had just said over him. Frag, this was bad.

Not knowing what else to do, she nodded slowly, "But how?"

"Get on the berth behind Rift Ring. This is something Seekers do all the time. Due to large litters, seekers generally try to birth as quickly as possible to ignore what's happening right now. The carrier just becomes so exhausted, he can barely push anymore. So the mate or a trine member will help them sit up and then push against their belly," said Restart simply, Sonic Trip putting on a confused expression.

"B-but I have to push on his belly? Won't that hurt him? He himself stopped touching it not even two groons into the birthing," said, looking worriedly down at the other.

"Yes, but it needs to be done. The pain will jolt him out of the stupor and the added pressure will force what fluids that are behind the sparkling to help push him or her out," the healer stated calmly as he wiped his brow with his wrist, ignoring getting the fluid on his hands onto his face. "It's either now or never."

Frowning, knowing all too well that time was limited, she quickly crawled onto the berth. Meekly she placed Sentinel's lulling head on her chassis, and then she leaned forward and placed her large hands on the other's belly. Then, even as the other started to moan, she pushed down … Sentinel jolting up and screaming as fluid started to rush out of his valve.

And then, just as quickly as she started to press on that belly, it seemed to be over. Sentinel giving one more long wail before there was a squelching noise, one small weeping squeal filling the room as Sentinel collapsed against the large frame, his optics nearly offline as he gasped for air.

It was done.

Restart, meanwhile, was whispering to Inquis as they clipped the tether that was supporting the sparkling, the healer taking the sparkling away to a small table to look over the newborn. Even Sonic Trip knew something was wrong. Sparklings were supposed to be wailing during their first moments into the world to clear their vents, but this one … he or she was so quiet. Was there something wrong with it? Was it not strong enough or had it been damaged in the fall. She had just started to warm Rift Ring up to the idea of keeping the sparkling and now … he was going to lose it.

No, Primus, that would be too cruel. Just too … cruel. Restart had to do something!

"Let me see it … let me see it," came a choked, raspy voice, a blue hand with wrapped fingers reaching outward towards his sparkling on the small exam table. "Please, I want to see it. Please. I don't care if it is offline … I need to."

Restart, turning his head and giving the barer a broken look (the readings he had gotten already telling him a bitter tale), sighed and slowly brought the limp sparkling to the Carrier, murmuring, "Rift Ring … something's wrong. I need to take him-"

"Him?" choked Sentinel, hand still outstretched. "It's a mech. Please … please just let me see him before he turns grey."

Restart, optics going dim, frowned and wanted to deny the mech, he didn't need to see that. And yet, barers just knew sometimes … sometimes they just knew something was wrong with it. There was no point in denying Rift Ring a few moments, for that might be all the sparkling had. Slowly, coming forward with a fluid covered sparkling, he gave the barely moving form to those shaking blue servos. He knew that he should be trying to save it, but it was likely a weak spark which he could do little for. Not that he should be surprised. A raped mech or femme usually did not bond with anyone after a rape and thus the spark was never engorged with more energy for the sparklet. Just looking at the sparkling, he knew that was likely what was wrong. Even if it did survive, it would probably always have a weak spark.

Perhaps it was best to allow it to offline in its carrier's arms.

Sentinel, hands shaking, did not notice the healer's pitying glances, he merely saw the most beautiful thing in the world. This had come out of him. This was a part of his spark. It was almost the same deep blue as him … but it definitely leaned more towards Optimus' frame type than his, but it had his antenna and just the softest touches of sparkling silver like Optimus. But mostly he saw himself in the small creature. He could tell it was his … and it was dying. He could already see the tips of its tiny (oh so very tiny) digits turning grey. Why did the things he love turn on him … or leave him all together?

Why take away something he had finally accepted?

Sobbing in his throat for a moment, Sentinel pulled the limp form close with his shaky hands and hugged it. Tears streaming down his face again, Sentinel whispered to the little limp mech in his arms, "I'm so sorry … I would have kept you … I would have loved you… I'm so sorry. Please don't go."

Then, his head leaned forward just enough to kiss his little copy on the forehead and just as his lips slowly pulled away from his little creation, a coughing noise echoed from the sparkling as it choked up fluids, a cry of life echoing over the room. This little spark had decided to stay… to stay for him.

Sentinel, so relieve, cried with it, refusing to let the sparkling go in fear that someone would take it away from him. This was his … this was his one and only thing in all the universe that he could love and would in turn love him. His little Echo.

…

Meanwhile, on a metal planet far from the recharging pair, a young Prime sat up with a start in the dark, his spark shaking in his casing with some unknown horror. His golden spark was basically bashing against its casing. It was just wailing inside his chassis like it had missed something important, like it was supposed to be somewhere!

Sitting there, panting, Optimus ground his denta together as his vents panted. He had no idea where he was supposed to be. He didn't know!

Offlining his optics, coolant gathering in his optics, Optimus slammed his fist against his berth, begging his spark as he placed a hand over it, "Please … Please stop torturing me. Tell me what I'm doing wrong?! Just tell me why you ache so!"

But, as usual his golden spark merely pumped painfully in his chassis, no answers offered.

XXX

Paw07: I love Sonic Trip and I could just image how much larger she would be compared to Sentinel or even Optimus. Also, finally, we get to see the little mech. And yes, I've planned on it being a mech from the very beginning of the story. Regardless, the next chapter is probably going to be the time skip chapter and then we will start the next story arch. Later and I hope everyone had a nice Easter break!