Eva was at home, designing her latest garden commission, when her phone rang.
"Hooker hookup service, what can I do for ya?" she asked, shoving Rachel Carson away as she tried to walk over the mess of paper.
"Good morning, Eva. You don't happen to have the virus that's going round, do you?"
"The flu thing? Nah, my hay fever meds work as a preventative for that, too." Pretty much the entirety of NYC had come down with the bug, which was nasty enough to make the news while not actually having killed anyone. The city had ground to a halt, or at least as much of a halt as New York could ever come to. "What's up?"
"They say you have to promise not to laugh," said Vision, amusement in his own smooth voice.
"Cross my heart."
"The entire base has come down with the virus, I'm afraid to say, and it's rather pitiful to look at. Almost the entirety of the staff are off sick, and we could do with a friendly face as well as a little extra manpower. Womanpower, rather."
"Has anyone not got it?" she asked, standing up and pulling on her boots.
"Captain Rogers has a boosted immune system, so he is not exhibiting any of the symptoms. And myself, obviously. Of course, if it is too much of a bother-"
"Of course it isn't," she said, "I want to come and laugh at y'all. I'm on my way."
%
A very snotty-sounding man opened the gate for her, and she realized how many people there normally were running round the base, now that it was deserted. She wandered the empty corridors until she heard a noise coming from the gym, where she found Steve assaulting a punchbag as though it had personally insulted his mother.
"Morning, specimen," she said, and he stopped, breathing heavily. "V called me, said you might need an extra pair of hands."
"We do," he replied, unwrapping his own knuckles of the bandages they were ensconced in. "I just hope nobody takes a stab at world domination over the next couple days, because there's no way we're gonna be able to stop them. You don't know anything that might help, do you?"
"I can make 'em hot drinks if you show me where the kitchen is, I guess. But according to the news, they'll just have to wait it out until the symptoms pass."
"We're not really the type to wait things out," Steve informed her. "You want to come see them?"
"Obviously."
They were all in the rec room, along with every single duvet, blanket and pillow Steve and Vision could find; Sam, Wanda, Romanoff (who looked a little better than the rest, but only because she was sitting up and had just one blanket), Colonel Rhodes, Barton and even Hill.
"Clint's priority here so he doesn't pass it onto his kids up on the farm," Steve explained. "We've got Doctor Cho in the labs, trying to find something that dulls the symptoms down. Erik's having to be her lab assistant, we're so low on staff… Where's Vision?"
"Behind you. Hello, Eva."
"Hey, Oompa-Loompa."
"Wh'za?" said a muffled voice from beneath a pile of duvets. "Ee-buh?"
"Morning Sam," she said cheerfully, "you look wonderful."
A hand emerged from the pile, and stuck its middle finger up at her.
"Wilson," Romanoff rasped from the sofa, "you know Steve doesn't like us to be rude like that."
"Ha ha," said Steve drily. "V, any change in vitals for them?"
"None worth noting, captain. Although Agent Romanoff appears to be coping significantly better than the rest."
"In Mother Russia we eat colds for breakfast," she said, in a mock-heavy accent. "Like poptarts."
"It would be nice if that applied to the rest of Eastern Europe," said Wanda miserably, who was curled around a pillow. For once, the dark circles around her eyes were natural instead of make-up.
"If Ultron could see y'all now," Eva smirked.
"Please talk more quietly," said Barton in a delicate voice, then blew his nose and discarded the tissue onto the mountain of them beside him. "It hurts my head."
"I'M SO SORRY!"
The entire room groaned, and the three remaining uninfected exchanged amused glances.
"I'll make cocoa," said Eva.
"I'll turn up the heating," said Vision.
"I'll fetch more blankets," said Steve. "Reconvene here in ten?"
"I'll see ya both then."
%
A few hours later and the infected had all fallen asleep in a big, muscly, sweaty heap on the floor. Doctors Cho and Selvig- both wearing surgical masks- came to take their blood, and one of the three remaining security guards tidied away the empty mugs while Eva, Rogers and Vision pulled blankets further up over them.
"I called the old folks' home," Eva told the Captain as she nudged a pillow beneath Sam's head, "Peggy's already had the bug and she's fine- well, she's the same as she was before it."
"Good," said Steve, "and thank you for telling me. I should've found out myself, it's not your problem to worry about."
"Dude, you got enough on your plate," she said.
"Eva's right," Vision agreed, "you are not isolated as you were back in the 1940s, sir. The Avengers, Ms Carter's family, Eva, we are all happy to help carry some of the load you bear."
"Exactly what I was trying to say," said Eva, "thanks as ever, V, for being smart."
"You are very welcome."
Steve laughed softly. "You two're like chalk and cheese," he remarked, "and somehow it works." His eyes settled on the pile of gently snoring bodies. "Aren't they adorable?"
Eva pulled out her phone to take a picture. "This is so getting tweeted," she told the other two.
A/N one of my fav chapters. And oh my god that civil war trailer Wanda I love you but stop hurting my maroon robot okay I've got enough to worry about with Bucky going on the run I DO NOT NEED THIS