"Eva," said Hill as she brought her coffee into her office, "I have a proposition for you."
"Ma'am?"
"Do you want a permanent job as gardener here?" the woman asked, hardly being one for small talk. "I asked our new administrator and he agrees, we need a stable groundskeeper. There's not enough work to necessitate it being full time and of course, you'd still be at liberty to pursue projects with other companies alongside, but since you're around here half the time anyway we figured you would we best for the job. We wouldn't even need a personality screening to make sure you're suitable, we know you so well already."
Eva stared for a couple of seconds with her jaw hanging somewhere around her knees, then blinked. "Oh my god- I mean, yes! I'd love to work here full-time," she said, "I mean, I haven't got much experience, but-"
"Don't be ridiculous," said Hill brusquely, giving her a small smile. "There is one condition, though."
"Hm?"
"The team refuse to have anyone else make their coffee, so you'll have to do that every morning. We'll order the same machine you use for the kitchens, if that's alright with you."
"Um… sure," Eva said in a daze. Holy cow, I've got a job. "I wouldn't let anyone else do it, anyway."
"I thought you'd do that," said Hill. "If you drop in on the administrator on your way out, she'll sort out your wages and other formalities."
"… Okay…"
An hour later, she was trying to figure out how to write her letter of resignation to Mr G, when she realised she couldn't. As much as she hated the damn job, it was what had brought her and the supers together in the first place, and she was just a little too sentimental to let it go. That, and with two jobs she might actually be able to afford things like central heating and new clothes. God, she missed new clothes.
"I'll just work Saturdays," she murmured.
%
"Full name?" an anonymous voice said through the intercom.
"Evaline Chloe Kresk," she said a little nervously, eyes on the pulse monitor that connected to the lie detector.
"Date of birth?"
"March nineteenth, nineteen ninety-four."
"Do you have a criminal record?"
"Um… I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly in 2011, I think."
"You think?"
"It's all a bit blurry," she shrugged.
"Next of kin?"
"I don't think I have one. My parents disowned me and I don't have any other living relatives, so… I dunno, probably Sam Wilson."
"Hmm. In order to pass Avengers security, you'll need basic defense and weapons training."
"Rhodey and Sam've already got me covered on that, actually. I have a beta-level security pass, too."
There was a pause. "Maintenance staff should only get gamma-level."
"Oh. Well, it was Captain Rogers who got it for me, so…"
"Fine. Why do you want to work here?"
"I like plants," she said, "and all my friends are here. I'm actually not that bothered about superheroes, the novelty kind of wears off once you've seen them without caffeine about a bajillion times. Which I actually think makes me pretty well-qualified for working here."
"Heh. Well there's still some stuff we need to get through, but I think I can safely say welcome to the Avengers HQ, Miss Kresk."
She beamed.
%
When she got home, there was a well-wrapped package on her chair, underneath Rachel Carson. She lifted the cat off of it with curiosity- only two other people had keys to her apartment, and brown paper with string wasn't really Sam's thing. She unwrapped it and three things fell out.
The first was her new ID, with a very unflattering picture and her godawful full name. Along with it was a set of soft green overalls with the Avengers "A" logo and "KRESK, GROUNDSKEEPER" embroidered across the breast- the material appeared to be waterproof and well insulated, perfect for working outside in all weathers, and she knew from a glance that they would fit perfectly. Lastly there was an envelope, indeed with her name in Vision's handwriting across it- she opened it to find a congratulations card.
Dear Eva Kresk (alias Coffee Girl)
Hope you're not sick of us already! Sorry about Thor's crop circles and where the turf is torn up from when Sam got beaten up by a man the size of a pea, but you'll manage it. You're one of us now- you've got a supersuit and everything. There was a 60/40 vote against giving you a cape.
Love,
(This part was in several different hands) Vision and Sam and Mr America and Wanda and Clint and Nat and Hill (she's your superior, so no first names apparently) and Iron Patriot Rhodey and Thor (although he's in Asgard but we told Jane to pass the news on) and Pepper (also on Tony's behalf) and Doctors Cho and Selvig and anyone else we've forgotten xx
"I'm an Avenger, Rachel Carson!" she exclaimed, and burst into tears.
A/N fluffy chapter (set in February, still. I've got this timeline thing under wraps). Also - have you read the Discworld books? Because if you do, I've just uploaded the first chapter of a Discworld fic involving highwaymen and stupid names. And if you don't, oh my god do you not realise you are missing out on what might objectively be one of the best book series ever written my personal favourites are Jingo and Witches Abroad but you can pick up pretty much anywhere really you need to read those things they're so important and funny and sad and SO GOOD -
Ahem.