A series of disasters later
The HQ was practically desolate. Eva carried just one cup and found Tony Stark sat in the rec room, staring at the chess pieces scattered across their board on the coffee table.
"So," she said, "I leave for one week, and just as the plane's landing I get a phone call from my boyfriend, saying he's just been broken out of prison and it's probably for the best if we break up. My best friend's locked himself in his room, the news is having a field day with you lot, half of you are AWOL, Alvie's a terrorist sympathiser currently seeking asylum in Wakanda, of all places, and, to top it all off, you seem to be living here at the moment, with Pepper nowhere to be seen. Stark," she said, sitting down opposite him, "what the hell happened?"
His face was heavily bruised, and he looked older and more tired than she had ever seen him. "We're on a break," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, and hid his face in his hands. It wasn't until Eva noticed his shoulders shaking that she realized he was crying. "Oh, Jesus. What have I done?"
Uh oh. She hurriedly swapped seats so she was sat beside Stark, and patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. "There, there."
He paused and looked up. "There, there?" he repeated incredulously, and Eva rolled her eyes.
"It's the best you're gonna get, so don't push it. Tony, what's wrong with Vision? And why's War Machine got robot legs?"
"Do you even watch the news?" Tony asked her hoarsely. "There was a war, Boothby. Rhodey got hit… by my own creation, my own supposedly benevolent creation. And that's not even the worst thing to happen that's on me this week."
"Wait – Vision did that to him?"
"It was an accident. He was aiming for Wilson."
"What?!"
And so, with great reluctance, Tony explained. He told her about Bucky, and the Winter Soldier experiments, and Zemo, a man blinded by vengeance and grief. He told her about Pepper leaving him, and Ross manipulating him, and his friends turning against each other. He told her about a kid from Queens that he had dragged into a war. He told her about nearly killing Steve, and Steve leaving, and Steve sending him a letter to call when he needed him, and Tony not knowing what that was even supposed to mean, because he needed him now. By the end of it Eva was almost crying, too.
"It was the suits," he murmured, "it was always the damn suits. You wouldn't understand."
Eva looked at her hands. "It's not an addiction," she said, "because you can give it up any time you want, and it's not a cliché because it's true, and you've done it before. You just choose not to, you choose to come back to it, because there's always a reason, always an excuse, and suddenly it's as natural as breathing and there the damn thing is, sitting in the palm of your hand like it's just another part of you."
She looked up. Tony was staring at her.
"You have your iron man suits," she said awkwardly, "I have alcohol. This is… one hell of a mess, Stark." Tony snorted. "Drink your espresso, it'll make you feel better. It's decaf."
"I didn't ask for decaf."
"I know." She placed the cup on the table in front of him, since she knew he didn't like to be handed things and chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to figure out what to say next. "I've been weaning you off of it. Barnes really killed your parents?"
"Don't wanna talk about it."
"Good, 'cause I ain't a therapist."
"Then why'd you ask?"
"Because I was interested. What do you think's going to happen now?"
"No idea," Tony said, with a thousand-yard stare. "I keep an eye on Wakanda, and on Queens. And try not to screw up what little there is left I haven't ruined. Aside from that… I dunno."
"You could help your friend learn to walk again," Eva said. "Just a suggestion. Or track down Wilson and tell him that, no matter the circumstances, breaking up over the phone is always a shitty thing to do."
To her surprise, Tony laughed. "And what do you do now, coffee girl?" he asked.
"Well," she said, "first, I'm gonna resign from this place. Barton set fire to the coppice while I was gone, and I'm not gonna work with people like that anymore. Besides, I need to… step back. I think we all do. So I'm going to go ask for a full-time job at the coffee shop, and do gardening freelance – but before that I'm going to break Vision's door down with a hammer unless he opens it."
"Why?"
"Because I'm the self-pitying one in our friendship, not him. He's not allowed to be sad. Neither are you, for that matter. You're Iron Man."
"Iron Man doesn't have clinical anxiety."
"Well, maybe he should, if that's what Tony Stark's got. It would help make him a little bit more human, y'know? People'd understand if he messed up every now and then. God knows I never expected anything of you, and I think I might be in the small minority that doesn't want to punch you in the face right now. So if you'll excuse me, I have my responsibilities as a best friend to get back to." She stood up. "There's a lot of uncertainty going on at the moment. So I'm just focusing on what I know. You should, too."
"Pearls of wisdom from a twenty-year-old," Tony said.
"Twenty-two, actually. I hate to say it, but…" she gritted her teeth. Come on, Kresk. You can do it. They're only words. "You're not a bad person, Stark. Focus on what you know's right, and build up from there. Help the friends you have in the base before anything else."
Tony paused, and joined her in standing. "Thanks for the coffee," he said.
She smiled. "No problem. I'll see you around."
"God, I hope not. Let's never do this again."
"Agreed."
%
Eva slammed her fist against the door. "I can't do the walk-through-walls thing like you do," she yelled, "so the fact you're not letting me in is very unfair. Vision. Vision."
There was a soft click, and the door swung open. Before he had a chance to say or do anything, Eva hugged Vision as tightly as she could manage. "Why didn't you call me?" she asked. "I've been worried sick!"
"Oh, Eva," he said, in a broken voice. "I have done such a terrible thing. You shouldn't be here."
She let go of him. "No matter how many times you mess up," she told him, "I will still be your friend, and I will always be here for you. I know about Rhodey, V. He's already walking. And Wanda's out of prison too, so you needn't worry about her."
"But –"
"No buts! Outside this room, Tony Stark is feeling just as crappy as you are, and I am having to pick up the pieces instead of being sat at home with no pants on, eating ice cream and crying over my break-up like I should be. Alvie's buggered off to Wakanda, V. The call charges to Africa are insane. Sam's god know's where after dumping me on the phone, Vision, the damn phone, and I miss my friend. And I refuse to believe that anything you could have done would be so bad as to necessitate this much angst. You're not allowed to angst. It's not your job."
He half-smiled. This troubled her, because normally she could have got at least a laugh out of him by now. "I do not deserve you, Eva."
"I could say the same about you." She took his hand. "Remember when we first met? And I told you I didn't particularly enjoy being alive?"
"Vividly."
"You changed my mind, sweetheart. You saved my life. And if I'm as important as you always say I am, then that should at least cancel out any bad stuff you've done recently. Vision, being human is hard, and it means making more mistakes than should even be possible. But you prove your humanity by carrying on."
"But what should I do?" he asked. "Everything I know has fallen apart."
"Then you try and put it back together, bit by bit. It won't be fun, but you'll do it anyway. I'll help. And the first thing you can do is going and talk to Stark."
He looked at her. She wondered if he could cry. "How do you do it?" he asked her. "How do you carry on?"
"Because you made me believe that the world is capable of better," she said, "and it won't achieve that on its own. And because I love you, even when you're sad. And I love Alvie, even when she's on the other side of the world. And Sam, even when he's just dumped me. And the rest of you. Even when you screw up and break, I still love you. And if I keep moving forward, then I can drag you all along with me."
"That is a heavy weight to carry, Eva."
"But bearable," she said, "always just about bearable. Besides, there's people who love me and I am terrified of letting them down. Please will you help me?"
This time she got a proper, full – if a little sad still – smile. "Of course."
"Good. I love you."
"I love you, too."
And the two of them, the gardener girl and the synthetic man, left the room holding hands, and tried to make the world a little easier to bear.
A/N I'm baaaack