Coffee Run

by siriuslocked

Eva works at a fancy coffee shop round the corner from New York's Avengers Tower, meaning she gets a lot of funny customers - and that the novelty's worn off. But, a day or so after the events in Sokovia, it's a new guy's turn to do the Earth's Mightiest Heroes' coffee run, and this one's different in more than just appearance. [Cover art by the lovely electricgale]

94. Chapter 94: Happy

"Afternoon, Happy. The usual?"

Stark's former bodyguard took a deep, dramatic breath. "No," he said. "I am not defined by my relationship with Tony. I have a personality entirely independent of him. I am entitled to do things for myself, by myself. I would like… the espresso protein shake."

"Please," said Eva.

"You're welcome."

"No, you're supposed to say –" she began, and gave up. "So you've been going to therapy, then?"

"How did you know that?" Happy snapped. "Did Tony tell you? Did Pepper tell Tony? Who told Pepper? I never told Pepper… is there a security leak somewhere? Is someone tailing me? Are you stalking me?"

"Lucky guess!" she said hastily.

"Yeah, well," said Happy, "in future, don't."

"Don't what?"

"Guess."

"Alright," she muttered, "jeez. My bad."

"Yeah. Your bad. Don't think that just 'cause you're all pally with Tony and the super squad now means you're any better than me. You're not."

"I'm not pally with Tony," she said, switching on the blender. "Why? You jealous?"

He snorted with loud, fake laughter. "No," he said, with exaggerated disgust. "Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous of you? Me and Tony, we got something special. We're practically the same person."

"I thought you were entirely independent of him with your own freedom and agency or whatever," Eva said, pouring the shake into a takeaway cup in the hope that it would discourage the head of security from staying around.

"Don't try and be smart with me," he warned her. "Because you'll lose."

"Sure," she said. "Say, have you ever met Pete up at the Avengers compound? The security guard?"

"I dunno," he said, suspiciously. That being said, everything Happy did carried a trace of suspicion – the man was paranoid enough to make Alex Jones look like a calm and rational man. "Why?"

"I think you two would get along. Six dollars."

"That's extortionate!"

"Yep. Now unless there's anything else I can get you –"

"Nuh-uh," said Happy, "no way. I'm done here. The price was bad enough, but the customer service – appalling. You shall not be receiving my patronage again."

"Until Stark sends you on another errand, right?"

"You shut your mouth, Kresk."

"Right away, Happy. Right away."

A/N I cannot BELIEVE it's taken me this long to write a chapter about Happy. I want him to be in Infinity Wars SO bad - never mind Bucky and Loki or the other fan favourites. BRING ME JON FAVREAU PUNCHING GODS IN SPACE.