A/N: Today we have Millard and Fuji from 3! I'm excited to write these two and see what you guys think of them. Thanks for all of the reviews and the support everyone, you're all super duper amazing! :D
Trigger Warning: Profanity, talk of sex, intense romantic scenes, and homophobia
Hey, girl, look at my mom, she's got it going on
Ha, you're blinded by her jewelry.
When you turn your back she pulls out a flask
And forgets his infidelity.
Uh-oh, she's coming to the attic, plastic,
Go back to being plastic.
No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens
One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen.
Places, places, get in your places
Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains.
Millard Vaith, 18
District Three Male
Put on your mask, Millard. You're at the masquerade; the rest of your now short life will be a masquerade, a successive chain of extravagant parties and then the hangover, the Games with their pain and angst and terror, and even when you're hung over you've got to keep the mask on. It can't slip, nothing can show. I hate myself as I shake and my breathing rattles and I am uneasy, I don't have the mask, I can't lose my disguise this early on in the ball. Put on your mask, Millard. Ignore Connor's screams, the sobbing of Sonya, of Jami, of Hayley, of Beki in their pens. Don't shake and gape when you see your mother, light years away on the other end of the square, let on tear drip down her impeccable cheek for you.
The girl next to me, Fujitsa, is trying her hardest to put on a mask herself. I pity her; I see the ring on her finger, the girl screaming and crying and kicking in the arms of the Peacekeepers, still whining Fujitsa's name loudly while one of the Peacekeepers clamps his hand over her mouth. Love, young and blemished, but those two girls have love. I realize she must be homosexual, too. I didn't know there were so many of us out there.
We walk back stage after Luizy gives her parting remarks. Once we are in the halls of the Justice Building, Fujitsa crumbles next to me, tears slipping through her fingers as she tries to hide her quiet sobs. I want to do something to help, but I'm selfish. I keep my head held high and keep the emotions at bay. A delicate dance at the masquerade. A wrong step, and everything's lost. Use the wrong fork during dinner, and you're done. Etiquette, mystery, danger, power, greed, lust. Those are the things that make the high society world go round. I have etiquette from years of my parents drilling manners into my head. Mystery, if I keep my mask on. Danger, why, there's always danger in the Games. Power. I have to find some. Greed, greed to stay alive. Lust, lust to be back in Connor's arms. I wonder if this is my punishment. Playing two sides, being a two headed snake, the polite, aristocrat son and the horny, wild party boy.
I walk off to my room, and in moments I have an influx of visitors. The first knot of people that push in are my friends. Sonya's sniffling, Jami's in full fledged sobs, Hayley keeps sighing deeply and rubbing her temples, and Beki just looks at me with his cold, dead stare. We don't say anything, and I don't need them to. I'd rather they didn't say anything. Hayley leans against the door and closes her eyes. Jami sits down on the cold floor. Sonya sits down on the bench next to me and hugs me. Beki just stands in his place with his arms folded, his eyes bleary and blank.
When Connor Ulrich comes in, the four of them hug me and exit quickly. The door clicks closed, and Connor grabs me and pushes me up against the wall. His hands are a tangle in my hair, and I grab his ass and pull him closer to me. Our lips slide across the other's, and I start to gyrate against him. It feels wrong, but I need one more lustful moment with Connor. I flip him around and pin him beneath me against the wall, kissing him greedily.
The door clicks open, and my parents walk in. Before they spot us, I hear my father saying something about,"-irls with other girls, so unnatural." Then my parents look up and see Connor and I frozen in place in horror, tangled in one another, my hands halfway through dragging Connor's pants to the floor.
"Millard Garrick Vaith," my mother whispers. Connor steps away from me and gives me a deep, sad look before walking out. I'd rather spend my last ten minutes with him, going further than we did, but of course I can't leave my parents with that last image of me before I go off to die. Connor is gone, and I can still feel how his hands were inching towards my groin, ready to give me the last lovemaking of my life. My body grows cold without him, and I shiver, hugging myself, as I look up at my parents, still frozen in shock, appalled. I sigh, and sit down on the bench.
"You never loved me, did you?" I murmur after a precious minute has slipped by. I can't help but think of Connor beneath me now, but then I feel the cold, clammy slap of my father's hand across my face and everything else is gone as I stand up, taking a step back.
"How...how could you do this to us," my father says blankly, his mouth curled in disgust. My mother looks like she wants to say something, but she closes her mouth. My mother always knows when to keep her mouth shut. I realize, at that moment, that my father is the only one that savors this life.
"I'm gay," I find myself saying, and I let it all go, and I don't give a fuck. I'm going to die. I don't need to leave them with unanswered questions and the memories of a little boy crouched on a bench, ashamed of being who he is. "I'm gay, and I never told either of you because I knew what you would do. You would look at me like you are now, like there's something wrong with me. You'd try to 'cure' me or some bullshit and then cover up the entire thing. That's not how sexuality works. You can't just give up love and lust and your personal identity. I'm fine with who I am, unlike you two. You both are fake assholes, and you should feel guilty for what you've done to me. I may have had a good material life, but in the terms of emotions and love, you two were the poorest, most neglectful parents ever. Now get out. I don't want to see either of you ever again."
"Mill-" my mother begins, but my father cuts her off.
"Leave the faggot be," my father hisses. "Leave him to the death he deserves."
My father storms out, dragging my mother with him, and I see her eyes filled with tears and guilt and angst and her mouth moves silently, begging for forgiveness, and I almost run out into the hall and hug her and give her the closure she so dearly craves.
Almost.
(Ho!) So show me family
(Hey!) All the blood that I would bleed
(Ho!) I don't know where I belong
(Hey!) I don't know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song
(Hey!)
1, 2, 3
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweet
Fuji LaMac, 17
District Three Female
Life is a fucking asshole. Everyone's gotta know what I mean.
They didn't let Cartenya come in to the goodbye room. They had to restrain her or something and she's being held in the stocks for a week for brutalizing a Peacekeeper. Father, drunk and giddy with a bottle of rum, only the dregs left, rolled a sobbing Adata into the room in her wheelchair. He's the only one that can take care of her now, and I know it's not going to happen. I don't even want to think of the struggle Adata will have to go through without me. There's little chance I'm coming back. I'm only a couple of months off of 18; Cartenya turns 18 in a matter of days. We were going to go to the Justice Building, the building I'm marching out of right now, in two months to get legally married. I have my ring, my token. We were going to be a family. We would adopt a child and both of us would work at Cartenya's family's shoe shop; we'd hire Adata as our babysitter. It...it would have been my fairytale ending.
The Peacekeepers keep an extra hard grip on me, and they glare venomously my way. They've looked through my files while I was saying my goodbyes, and they saw the black, ugly mars. A dead mother, a crippled sister, a fraud of a father, and then the biggest error, the six months spent in jail with sleazy men and slanderous women because of a stupid mistake. Just because I thought a girl was like me, that a girl wanted me. I thought the gleam in her eyes wasn't friendship, it was lust, it was need, it was love. She was the one before Cartenya, and I kissed her right on the lips. She ran away screaming, calling me a faggot and a whore and a devil and a bitch and any other name she could conjure as she sprinted away. The tears came thick and fast. In the morning, the Peacekeepers were at my door. The girl, Darabelle, was the Mayor of my Precinct. He had sway. Darabelle told him I assaulted her. I was put in jail for six months, cited with sexual assault, when all I had did was try to show Darabelle how much I loved her. My heart thudded to fast around her. I'd just had to get it out. It took me forever to kiss Cartenya, to admit my feelings to her after we met soon after I got out of prison. She was the one who admitted her affections first, even. I was so insecure, I was so broken, and she fixed me. I keep the tears at bay. Oh, Cartenya. I touch the ring on my hand again and sigh as we walk out of the Justice Building. Millard is already waiting on the train platform, his face stony and angry, his cheeks ruddy and hot and his hair a mess. I stand next to him.
The train arrives in a couple of minutes, and Luizy Cathede, our Escort, walks out of the Justice Building along with Three's sole Victor, Takami. Luizy chatters conversationally, and Takami just responds with curt nods or head shakes or the occasional, "Hmm..." They walk over to us, and Luizy gets all excited while Takami just smiles lightly. We all walk together into the train and sit down at a table in the dining cart.
"So," Takami says as Luizy starts to gorge herself on shortbread and Millard and I delicately put a few pieces of food on our plates. Takami doesn't eat anything at all. "What are you guys thinking in terms of alliances and all? Want to talk strategy together?"
"Maybe we can talk for a bit," I murmur. Something seems good about Millard. First off, he's tall and looks decently in shape, and there seems to be a storm brewing behind those eyes. He could be a valuable asset or a loose cannon. I'll have to see.
"Yeah, feel free," Takami replies with a smile. Millard stands up and reaches out a hand to help me to my feet. Both of our hands are cold, and neither of us smile. We walk out of the dining car, leaving Luizy to her incessant chatter and Takami to his listening. We find a comfortable car, smaller than some of the others, with plush couches and low lighting and the air conditioner pumping in a little extra cool. I hug my knees to my chest and sit down on a puffy red velvet chair and let out a rattling breath as Millard crouches on a couch before repositioning himself. He lays down and looks at the ceiling.
"Who's the rock from? Is he hot?" Millard asks quietly.
"She's a badass bitch," I snarl, and Millard looks at me, startled. I make my way to stand up. He seemed strong, able, smart. He still is. But I'm not dealing with any homophobes. Hell no. Anger makes my cheeks red, and as I stand to leave and tell Takami I'd like a private strategy session with him, Millard stands quickly and grabs my wrist. I jerk my arm out of his grasp, narrowing my eyes at him. "What's your problem?!"
"I have a boyfriend," Millard mumbles quickly. We look at each other, and I sit back down on the couch slowly. I look at my lap and hug myself. The only person that I've ever met that's also homosexual is Cartenya. I feel strangely curious.
"What's he like?" I inquire, looking up into Millard's eyes. He sighs and examines his hands for a moment before answering. His voice catches in his throat, and he sits there for a moment, trying to make sound come out. He then clears his throat.
"He's strong and kind and sort of a normal guy. His name is Connor. We fight all the time, but then there's those nights where everything just mends itself spectacularly and you have no idea how. Ya know? And he's hella good at lovemaking. How's yours?"
"Her name is Cartenya. She's beautiful and bubbly and she can look at an ink splotch on a piece of paper and tell you someone's life story by looking at the curved lines of its edges. Her mind is so complex that I'll never be able to stop exploring it until I'm dead, and I can keep sorting through her head, learning new things, for as long as the universe is wide. I love her so bad, and she loves me so much. She proposed a few months back, and we were going to get married in two months. And she's soooo good at the deed, it's crazy. How does your family feel about it? Just wondering, you don't have to answer. I've just never talked to anyone else...like me...besides Cartenya, you know? I'm just curious."
"Well, my family just found out today. They hate homosexuals." His laugh is hollow, a garble of shattered glass and sticky tape trying to mend itself back together. I give him a sympathetic smile and come over and sit down next to him on the couch.
"Only my sister Adata knows. And Cartenya, of course. I don't really know anyone else besides my dad and Cartenya, though, so it's not that big of an accomplishment. I just...you don't want to lose people just because you're 'different'."
"I already lost my parents a long time ago," he murmurs. Didn't he say he told them today, though, that he was gay? His eyes are stormy and his mouth twitches in a frown, so I leave him be, let his secrets, his pain, sit. I'm just a stranger. I have no right to pry.
"I think it might work if we work together," I say simply. He nods.
"We'll need a couple others, too," he replies. "Let's go watch the tapes and scope out possible candidates."
"Hopefully there's some others that are good," I mumble as we stand to go ask Takami for the Reaping tapes or where we can watch them or whatever. I smile as Millard walks in front of me. While I might not find my happy ending, I found someone like me. I think I might find out things about myself. While that will be at the expense of my own life, isn't the point of living to discover who you are? No matter how much I'd like to go back to Cartenya and grow old with her, I know the probability of that happening is astronomically low. I'm smart and motivated but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters, really. The odds are never in anyone's favor no matter what anyone tries to tell you. While I'm living, though, I'm going to find out who I am. While I'm still walking this earth, I will pull back the layers of myself. I will lose everything I hold dear. I'll lose Cartenya, I'll lose Adata, I'll lose father; I still love him even though he's loathsome at times. I'll lose everything I've ever had, and maybe then I can be reborn, and maybe then I can tear off the guilt that weighs me down and move on, even if moving on means death.
A/N: Ick a longer update time again. I know I'm still moving fast compared to a lot of SYOTs but I'm planning on moving faster in the coming weeks hopefully. With winter break I'll definitely be able to write more. I also did spend all my writing time this week on that BB:Bite Size Episode 1 chapter that was like wayyy too long, so...XD
It was actually really cool to write two homosexual people meeting other homosexual people besides their lovers and in Millard's case his one friend Beki. I don't know why, but it just really intrigued me to write it. Hope it was worthwhile :)
Who do you like better here, Millard or Fuji? Have your thoughts on them changed?
Millard (1 pt): What is Millard's middle name?
Fuji (1 pt): What did Fuji say Cartenya can look at and make an entire story from?
I'll be getting a sponsorship rules thing out to you guys soon hopefully. Have a good rest of your weekend!
Until Next Time,
Tracee