It Takes a Village
Thank you again to everyone who left a comment on the previous chapter or added the story to their faves/alerts etc. I really appreciate you sticking around and I hope that it will be worthwhile! The last few chapters have been kinda angsty, but this is one is pretty sad. It was pretty tough writing Cassie's scenes, but I hope it makes some of her previous behaviour make more sense? I promise eventually I'll stop torturing the two of them! I feel like things are winding up towards the end for this story, it'll probably be around 20 chapters in total I reckon, but I'm not sure yet.
Chapter 16: Blue Revelations
As it always did, life muddled along in Middleton. Cassie worked at the Bell, Book and Candle, helped out with guests at Grey House, and tried not to think about Sam. Sam treated his patients, did his best to stay out of Linda's way, and tried not to think about Cassie. For both of them, it was easier said than done.
Abigail was doing her own share of avoidance as well. Ever since her weekend away with Harry, she had been consciously or unconsciously putting more than just physical distance between the two of them. She had been relieved when he had told her that they wouldn't be able to see each other the next weekend because he had a pre-arranged trip booked with his friends. She still hadn't mentioned to Harry that Tara and Brandon's gender reveal party was the following weekend. They would expect him to be there, but something was holding Abigail back from inviting him.
Stephanie had arrived at the Bistro even earlier than normal that morning, hoping to get a couple of hours to herself before anyone else arrived. She wanted to get a head start on making the gender reveal cake for Tara and Brandon's party. She was currently the only person in Middleton who knew whether the Russells were expecting a little boy or girl in the next few months. Not even Sam knew, and he was the town doctor. Stephanie wouldn't be surprised if Cassie knew though, she had an uncanny way of knowing things before they happened. Still, Stephanie took her responsibility very seriously and by the time the rest of the staff arrived, no one would be able to tell from the outward appearance of the cake what secrets it was concealing. That was until Abigail Pershing breezed into her kitchen. Stephanie wasn't sure she had ever seen Abigail this early in the morning before.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, her surprise making her negate her manners.
"Good morning to you too, sunshine."
"Sorry, you just surprised me. I didn't realise you knew there were two six o'clocks in the same day."
"It has been a while since I've seen six am," She admitted. "And when I did, it was usually because I hadn't been to bed first."
"That sounds more like the Abigail I know and love." She said it so naturally and casually that it made Abigail pause for a second. "You didn't answer my question," She continued, unaware that her words had had any effect on the other woman. "Abigail?"
"Sorry," Her head snapped up and she got her focus back. "I had a feeling you'd be here."
"I do own the place," She laughed, but Abigail's expression didn't change.
Stephanie was beginning to wonder if she was actually still asleep and this was just a bizarre dream. She hoped not, because it would mean having to make the cake all over again, but it seemed like the only logical explanation for her friend's strange behaviour. When she thought about it though, she realised that Abigail had been acting differently for a while now. There had been their argument and then Abigail's impromptu phone call in the middle of her weekend away with Harry. Now that she was thinking it over, she couldn't remember the last time that Abigail had talked about her boyfriend. Her return from her weekend away with Harry had been somewhat overshadowed by the Linda's bombshell and the resulting fall out for Sam and Cassie.
"Is this about Harry?"
Abigail sighed. She was used to being the perceptive one but it was like she couldn't see straight lately. She knew she was picking up on a lot of Cassie's emotions but she couldn't seem to get a grip on her own either.
Nothing bad had happened with Harry, but maybe that was the point. She shouldn't have been relieved that they hadn't seen each other the previous weekend when he was with his friends.
She picked up the discarded spatula and used her finger to scrape off some of the cake mix.
"Oh my God," She said suddenly. "Brandon and Tara are having a boy!"
"Yes, and if you tell anyone, especially them, I will never bake anything for you ever again."
Abigail couldn't help but laugh, even though that was a sobering thought. Stephanie just looked so stern, but the apron and the dusting of flour on her cheek took away from the image. Still laughing, even though Stephanie had just taken the lid off a box of things she wasn't sure she knew how to talk about, she leaned across to wipe the flour from her cheek with the pad of her thumb. Stephanie stood still, realising she was barely breathing and that the Bistro kitchen suddenly seemed much too small.
Abigail used the hand she had wiped the flour away with to cup Stephanie's face and she leaned in further to place the softest of kisses on her lips.
"I'm sorry," She said, stepping back. "I just had to know."
She left the kitchen as smoothly as she had arrived. Stephanie stood stock still for a good minute after she was gone, the only thing she could think of was that Abigail's lips had tasted like cake batter.
Sam wasn't sure he should be going to the gender reveal party, but when he found out the venue was Grey House it made it harder for him to get out of it. Plus Nick, after being cooped up inside for weeks, was eager to attend. Luckily Linda had decided to spend the day looking at real estate in Middleton so they wouldn't have to endure her presence. He wasn't quite sure how Cassie would feel about having Linda in her house, especially as his ex-wife had unceremoniously turned down the last invitation without consulting either Sam or Nick first.
He didn't know if he was expected to bring anything either, gifts were usually for the baby shower, weren't they? Sam was quickly realising that this was not his area of expertise and that the person he wanted to ask for advice was the one person he couldn't: Cassie.
He wasn't even sure if he would actually be welcome, but Tara had explicitly invited him and reminded him just yesterday. Sam was smart enough to know not to upset a pregnant woman.
"Are you ready yet, Dad?" Nick asked, appearing in the doorway of his father's bedroom.
Sam sighed, deciding his blue button down and jeans would have to do. He knew that how he was dressed would have no effect on how happy his neighbour was to see him.
"Let's go," Sam said, picking up his phone and following Nick, who was still without his cane, down the stairs.
Grey House had been liberally decorated for the occasion, with bunting in pale blue and candy pink criss-crossed through the downstairs rooms. It was a warm spring afternoon, so the doors were opened out onto the garden. The flower beds were already blooming in a riot of colour. George had been fully committed to making the garden as beautiful as possible to make up for what he had put Cassie through.
Family and friends were already milling around in small groups. Stephanie was relieved that the cake had made it there in one piece and now it was sitting as the centrepiece on the buffet table. She chatted with friends and neighbours but she couldn't help but be on the lookout for Abigail.
"Looking for someone?" Cassie asked, appearing behind her and nearly making her jump out of her skin.
When her heart rate had returned to normal, Stephanie studied her friend. From the outside, you would never know that Cassie's heart was broken or all of the bittersweet emotions that today was bringing to the surface. Cassie couldn't help feeling that Jake should be there but maybe, in some way, he was.
She turned around just as Sam and Nick stepped out into the garden. She had wondered if Sam would change his mind about coming, and she was relieved that Linda hadn't accompanied them. She had heard from Martha that Linda had been looking at almost every property in town. She had a sinking feeling that Middleton wouldn't be seeing the back of Linda Wallace for a while yet and Cassie's feelings were rarely wrong. Could she keep letting Linda's presence in town keep her from the man she loved?
Abigail hadn't actually meant to make an entrance, but for once it had been out of her control. She could see the back of Stephanie's blonde head as she stepped into the garden, her hand tucked through Harry's arm.
"Sorry we're late," He said before she had a chance to speak. "Traffic was terrible."
He moved away from Abigail to pick up a drink and say hello to Brandon and Tara. Abigail, for all her gifts and abilities, couldn't decipher the look on Stephanie's face. Cassie watched carefully, maybe someone else's drama would distract her from her own.
They all gathered round the buffet table as Tara and Brandon took their places behind the cake Stephanie had baked. Abigail had been as good as her word and hadn't told anyone what she already knew, Stephanie could at least be grateful for that.
"Before we do this, we wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate with us today; to Cassie for organising it and to Stephanie for this beautiful cake."
"We're both so excited to become parents and welcome Baby Russell into the family."
They both placed their hands on the handle of the cake knife, both suddenly transported back to their wedding day. They cut the first slice of cake and gasped as they saw the bright blue sponge inside the buttercream frosting.
"We're having a boy!" They grinned at each other and kissed.
Cassie smiled too, but her eyes filled with tears. A grandson Jake, she thought, you'll be having a grandson. The rest of the guests approached Tara and Brandon to congratulate them and to collect a slice of cake. Cassie slipped away unseen by everyone but Sam. He desperately wanted to go after her, but he had a feeling of his own that right now she might need to be alone.
Cassie slipped away from the party without drawing attention to herself. Well, she was sure that Sam had noticed but she was fairly certain he wasn't going to follow her. She didn't want him to either. She needed to be alone. For now.
Although she was overjoyed that Tara and Brandon were going to have a baby, she had always known that this would be tough for her. Over the years it had become easier for her to focus on living her own life rather than imagining what she and Jake would be doing together if he was still here. The announcement of Tara's pregnancy in the midst of her break up from Sam had made that all more difficult again. She remembered thinking how unfair it had been on Grace to have her loving father ripped away at such a young age, and here she was again now thinking how much Jake would have loved to be present in the life of his baby grandson. The ache of losing him and living without him had become a bearable pain over the years. She missed him every day and always would, but she had moved on enough that she could fall in love and picture a long, happy future with another man. But the party today, and finding out that Jake would have had a grandson, had tipped her back into her grief again.
She walked more quickly, her low heels clicking against the sidewalk. She didn't even know where she was heading until she got there. The town had put up a beautiful memorial for Jake, to honour his life and his sacrifice but that wasn't where Cassie needed to be. She needed the privacy and peace of his final resting pace.
She knelt on the short grass in front of his headstone, not caring if she got stains on her knees. She wasn't sure her legs would have held her up even if she had wanted to keep standing. She traced her fingers over the lettering on the pale grey stone.
"God Jake, I miss you so much." She said quietly, her voice little more than a whisper. "Every time I think I'm ready to move on with my life, something happens to remind me how much I loved you; how much I still love you."
She swiped at her tears had slid down her cheeks and took a ragged breath.
"Oh Jake, you would have made the best grandfather. Brandon and Tara's baby would be so lucky to have you as his grandpa.."
She moved so she was sitting down, her knees up in front of her as she wrapped her arms around her. It was a child's pose, but it was comforting.
She looked at the dates on the headstone, still unable to believe he had been gone so long. She had lived longer since his death than the time they had had together as a couple. She wished he was still here, still in their lives. She wished he had be able to see Grace grow up into the intelligent, compassionate, confident young woman she was becoming. She wished he had been there for Brandon and Lori through their triumphs and their failures. But she knew; had had to accept that there were certain things you couldn't change. There were things you had no control over regardless of what other special talents and abilities you might possess. Nothing she could do would ever bring him back.
"Jake," She sighed, looking down at her hands clasped around her bare knees. "I've met someone else."
She paused, almost like she was waiting for him to reply.
"His name is Sam, Sam Radford and I love him."
She wiped her cheeks again, but no fresh tears had fallen. She felt calmer now; stronger even.
"I think I've messed it up though. I keep pushing him away and finding excuses for us not to be together. I think I'm afraid I'll lose him like I lost you, and I don't know if I could go through that again, Jake."
A sudden breeze blew through the trees, tossing leaves and petals into the air. Spring had arrived but it was cool and sheltered there.
"There hasn't been anyone else since you Jake, not really. No one that mattered to me like you did; like Sam does. I'm afraid I won't know how to be in a relationship anymore. I haven't exactly done a great job of it so far."
She sighed, wrapping her thin jacket closer around her shoulders as another gust of wind chilled her.
"If you were still here, this wouldn't be happening. I knew we were meant to be together forever, Jake. But it's more complicated with Sam. In a lot of ways you are very similar, but he's also very different. With you and I, it always seemed to simple and so right. Sam and me? We just keep coming up against obstacle after obstacle and it feels like if we were meant to be together, it wouldn't be so difficult."
The wind roared through the trees again, and Cassie watched as the fallen leaves twirled in the air before coming to rest on the grass again.
"I guess," She sighed. "I guess part of the reason I came here, is that I'm looking for your approval." Her laugh was hollow. "I guess I need to know if it's okay to move on and be in love with someone else. It feels disloyal to you and to the memory of what we shared, but I will always love you. Every time I look at Grace, I see you and she is proof of how much we loved each other."
She realised she was crying again, but the tears were silent now; they weren't the tears of anguish but the bittersweet kind that accompanied your most cherished memories. She kissed her fingers and then pressed them to the stone.
The wind tore through the air again, lifting her hair from her shoulders and flapping the lapels of her jacket. The bouquets of flowers left at the other graves were blowing in the breeze, leaning into the wind as they tried to hold steady in their vases and holders. A lone red rose had broken free and was tossed in Cassie's direction. It landed in front of her, between where she was sitting and Jake's headstone. She picked it up, fresh tears shining in her eyes but they did not fall.
"I love you too, Jake." She said, standing up and brushing the grass and leaves from her clothes. She walked away slowly, the rose still in her hand. She still had a lot to think about.