Ashley

"You are fully recovered, Ashley Williams. I am discharging you from our care after today's physical therapy session, and I will inform the Alliance and the Council that you are free to resume active duty status."

Ashley stared at Dr. Michele. "Seriously?"

The prim doctor with the razor-sharp wit smiled warmly. "Yes, seriously." She gestured to the door of her office. "You may go." Ashley got up to leave. "And Commander Williams?"

Ashley paused at the door. "Yeah?"

"Congratulations on becoming the next human to join the ranks of the Council Spectres. And on your pending marriage."

Ashley felt her face heat even as she grinned. "Thanks, Doc."

"Good bye, Commander Williams. You weren't a pleasure as a patient, but… I can see why the Alliance wants you back so badly. Good luck."

Ashley left with a bounce in her step. She couldn't wait. It had been a difficult two weeks, full of no private time, no space, her wonderful family who was already getting on her nerves, and vid-calls with Sam that did not begin to fill the need for her within the eldest Williams daughter. She needed to be inducted into the Spectres, join the Normandy, and make that girl her wife.

Then they needed to win this war and get their house and their dogs and… they just needed to win.

A few hours later, she left her last physical therapy session. She ran into Thane in the lobby and invited him to get lunch with her to celebrate. Of all the people she could speak with, he was the only one who really understood why she was so eager to get back into the action. Not because of a glorified sense of her own worth as a hero, but because she must do her part. She could not sit idly by while the others did the work. She didn't mind that civilians did so. They had their own part to play, one that was not on the field of battle. But Ashley was a soldier, and her part was to fight.

Besides his understanding, she had to ask for Thane's advice. She'd put it off, stayed quiet, but it was finally time…

"Thane?"

"Yes, Ashley?"

She set aside the remnants of her sandwich, took a swig of her beer, then sighed. "What should I do about Kelly Chambers?"

Thane blinked several times before answering. "I don't understand. What is there to do?"

"I haven't told Shepard about Kelly. I haven't told anyone about Kelly, not even Sam."

"I see."

Ashley looked up to find Thane's obsidian eyes staring into the middle distance. He began murmuring. She only caught snatches. "... relieved… the commander's tone… Kelly's crying…"

"Thane?"

His eyes focused after a moment. "Sorry. I… it is harder to keep from falling into memory as my disease progresses."

"It's all right. But… what were you seeing?"

"I watched Kelly and Shepard as they parted, here, on the Citadel. Shepard was turning the Normandy over to the Alliance after the events in the Bahak system. They did not know when they would see each other again, and this dismayed them both. But at the same time… there was an air of hope. Shepard was hopeful that her courts-martial would end soon and she would be free to pursue Kelly and Dr. T'Soni, and to help prepare for the arrival of the reapers. With or without the Alliance. She was a Council Spectre and knew she could at least carry on her mission in that capacity."

"How do you know? Those aren't the kind of things Miriam would share with just anyone." Ashley left unsaid that she was the only person Shepard would've shared that with before the commander's death.

Thane's smile was warm, indulgent. "Shepard did not have many friends available to her after her resurrection. Mr. Vakarian was with her, yes, but he was battling his own demons. I found that she wandered in to speak with me more and more. After she helped me with my son, we grew closer. I had been married, indeed was the only person she was close to who had participated in anything more than casual liaisons other than Ms. Goto. She asked me my opinion, my advice, much as you do now. I listened, and told her what I thought."

"I guess that makes sense," Ashley muttered. She had been feeling guilty since talking with Miriam about Kelly all those weeks ago. She'd abandoned her best friend, and knowing how hard Miriam had it during that time made her feel guilt instead of the anger she'd felt back when they met on Horizon.

A hot stab of anger answered her guilt now, however. Miriam was working for Cerberus. She put everyone in danger, and she was sad about how many girlfriends she had. Meanwhile, she's going onto a derelict reaper and is possibly indoctrinated.

There's no way she's indoctrinated, she tried to reason with herself. Indoctrinated people fuck things up, they don't fight against the reapers. They find some way to justify fighting for the reapers. Like Saren.

"... it's a testament to your trust…"

Udina's words echoed in her head at every opportunity, but it was not something she had been able to speak to anyone about. Her connection to Sam was not encrypted, so they could not speak of potentially classified information. Shepard was not someone she could speak to about Shepard's own possible indoctrination. And she didn't want to scare her family, or Tim. So she had remained silent. She'd remained silent about this and about Kelly. She was taking a risk speaking of Kelly here, with Thane, since some Cerberus agent could overhear her. But she would not take the risk of some journalist overhearing that Miriam might be indoctrinated. Ashley had her own doubts, but she wasn't interested in airing them out for the whole galaxy.

"Ashley," Thane said, getting the LC's attention once more. "You are not at fault for the conclusions you came to. You work by a different code than I do, and you have a different history with Shepard than I do. I trust her with my life, with my son's life. But you served together in the military. That is a code of conduct that, to my understanding, is almost sacred. And, to your eyes at the time, she broke it. You are not to be blamed for her loneliness while she was operating outside of Alliance authority, with Cerberus. Even if you had been sympathetic, would you have been permitted to speak with her?"

"No," Ashley said, without hesitation. "I wouldn't have been able to get within fifty feet with her. Except for Horizon, which was purely chance. At least, on the outside. I know the Illusive Man orchestrated the attack," she allowed.

He nodded. "So there is no need to feel guilt for not having been there for her to confide in."

Ashley sighed, slumping in her seat. "I know. I just… I'm still not sure. About anything. I feel guilty for not being there, but then I'm not sure I trust her judgment. But only because of Cerberus. There is literally no other military decisions she's made that I don't agree with, except working with them."

"So why is it you hesitate about Kelly?"

Ashley looked up. "Kelly asked me not to tell Miriam. Said Shepard had Liara, so let her fade out of sight and be forgotten."

"I see." Thane blinked a few times, thinking. "She has unknowingly put you in an unfortunate position."

"Which one of them?"

"Both." Thane smiled. Ashley laughed.

An asari waitress came to the table, interrupting their conversation. Her skin was a much darker shade of blue that Ashley had seen, and devoid of the usual tattoos asari usually adorned themselves with. Just like Liara.

"Want anything else?" Her voice was gruff. She seemed older than most, not necessarily more graceful but… wiser. She didn't look seductive. She looked like she thought you were about as significant as the dirt beneath her heel.

Ashley looked to Thane, who shook his head. "No, we're good," she answered. "Thanks."

"Right." The waitress looked around, then took a seat. "Thanks for inviting me to sit." Her voice was a bit louder than normal.

Ashley was bewildered, but Thane remained unfazed. "Did you have some words of wisdom for us, Matriarch?"

The woman grinned. "You drells sure pay attention, don't you?"

"It has more to do with my profession than my race, but I will take that as a compliment, coming from one of your stature in life."

The asari gave an indignant snort. "Whatever. Quit buttering me up. I don't need sweet talk if sex is what you want. And that's not why I came over here."

"Then why did you?" Ashley blurted, still utterly confused by this woman butting in on their conversation.

"Right. Straight to the point. I like it. Listen. I heard you talking. I know a little about the situation, and-"

"Wait," Ashley interrupted, holding her hand out. "What situation? What do you know? How?"

"I bugged your table because you're Alliance, and former Normandy crew," the asari said, completely unapologetically.

"You are here for reasons other than bartending, then," Thane remarked. At the asari's nod, he added, "I knew I recognized a kindred in you."

"Yeah yeah, don't get all spiritual on me and shit." She turned to Ashley, putting a finger in her face. "Look, you. I have personal and political reasons to keep my eye on Shepard's ship, through her crew if need be. And I'm not sharing 'em. But I thought I'd come in and offer my unsolicited advice as someone who's been in a similar situation."

Ashley furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? What situation?"

"Knowing something one person wants to know and the other doesn't."

"Wait, what about this spying thing? Are you following me?"

The asari shot her a sardonic look. "You are going to be the second human Spectre, hotcakes. I am not the weirdest you're gonna get, not by a long shot. Get used to it. Now, on to my advice," she said, shushing Ashley with another look. "Do what they both want."

"What?" Ashley seemed to be saying that a lot in this unexpected conversation.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop talking to you now." Her voice got a little louder again. "Thanks for the chat, and the generous tip." The asari found her feet, took their used dishes, and left, giving Thane a knowing look.

"That was… what the hell was that?"

Thane smiled, entering information into his omnitool, probably giving the asari the big tip she's just mentioned. "She is a spy for the Matriarch Council. Something to do with Shepard's ship. So she was watching the two of us, as we are both connected to the commander. In the course of her spying, she decided to take pity on you and give you advice for your conundrum. I imagine we weren't saying anything worth knowing as far as spying goes, otherwise she would have kept her cover."

"Why blow it, though?" Ashley was so utterly confused. "Why tell us she was listening in?"

Thane shrugged. "The only way to know is to ask. Perhaps she has little loyalty to the Matriarch Council. Maybe she is a nihilist with the reaper war here and does not see the point in keeping herself secret. Whatever the reason, she decided that her cover was not important in this instance."

"Huh." Ashley narrowed her eyes. "So what do you think she meant? 'Do what they both want.'"

Thane crossed his knees before looking up at Ashley. "I think I have an idea. What is it that truly worries Shepard in regards to Kelly?"

"I mean, she's got to miss her. But she's worried about Kelly's safety. She doesn't know if Kelly's safe from Cerberus."

"And Kelly doesn't wish you to tell Shepard. So perhaps what you could do is work to keep Kelly safe, while also keeping her whereabouts from Shepard. At least, for now. Until you decide whose confidence you wish to break. And if you're willing to distract Shepard with her second lover."

Ashley shook her head. "Fuckin' a, Miriam. It was bad enough you dug yourself into this. How'd I get buried with you?"

Thane smiled. "Sometimes those we love do not make decisions we agree with. It is our duty to try to make them see their lack of wisdom with the worst of those decisions."

"And when we don't, then we have to try to help dig them out. Yeah, I know. Lord knows I've been there myself. If my mom hadn't been willing to kick me into shape… So keep Kelly safe, huh? How? I can't, like, follow her around. That would bring more attention to her, anyway. Not to mention I don't have time for that. And it's, you know, absurd."

Thane was quiet a moment, thinking. Finally, he spoke, heading off Ashley's despair of ever figuring this out. "Young Tim and Kolyat both work for C-Sec. Convince her to register with them. She can change her identity, go through their protection program. The only way anyone would know it was her after that would be if they actually had access to C-Sec's mainframe."

"Yeah…" Ashley suddenly smiled. "That's a great idea! It's not the safest she could ever be, but it's a hell of a lot better than running around, telling everyone her name."

Thane smiled. "I, too, am glad we came up with a solution. While we were not close, I am glad we are doing something for her safety. She is a kind person."

Ashley was on her feet. "I should go, if I wanna find her before I go see Udina. Thanks for lunch, Thane. I'll see you around."

"Don't be a stranger now that you've been discharged."

Ashley smiled. "I promise."

She found Kelly on the docks, in the thick of the refugees. Someone was clearly in crisis, a human man on his feet but hunkered down and curled up into a ball, rocking and holding his head in his hands. And Kelly knelt right next to him, not touching him, but holding his eyes with hers and talking low to him. Surrounding them was a ring of people of various races, perhaps looky-loos, or perhaps friends and family of the man. It was impossible to tell. Probably, it was a mix of both.

Ashley hung back while Kelly did her work. It was a gradual change, but eventually the man stopped rocking back and forth, and then finally even let go of his head. He was nodding, letting Kelly touch his shoulder. Finally, Kelly looked behind her to one of those gathered around, and an asari came forward, replacing Kelly at the man's side. The man fell forward onto his knees and embraced the woman's lap, soft sobs leaving him, muffled by the asari's shirt. Ashley couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw the asari's eyes go black as she turned to leave the crowd.

Kelly melted away as though she had not even been there to begin with.

"Impressive job," Ashley said, getting the redhead's attention as she passed. Kelly nearly jumped.

"Lieutenant!"

"It's Lieutenant-Commander, or Commander. Or you could just call me Ashley, since I'm not active-duty yet, and you're not in the military anyway so you don't have to call me by my rank."

Kelly regarded her a moment, nodded, and then continued walking. Ashley fell into step beside her. "What are you doing here, Commander?" Kelly finally asked. Ashley noticed that she'd been led into a relatively quiet alley, devoid of people. Kelly had stopped, looking up into Ashley's face, her expression almost accusational.

"I just wanted to talk to you, Kelly."

"About what?" Her expression went from accusation to worry. "You didn't tell Shepard I'm here, did you?"

Ashley sighed. "No." Kelly slumped in relief. Ashley plunged ahead. "Look. I know you don't owe me shit. But I owe it to Shepard to try to keep you safe. And you're not safe out here alone, without a safety umbrella."

"What?" Kelly stood tall again, brows knit. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're not protected by anyone. You're just you, privately contracted with the hospital to help people on the docks. People you tell your real name. You should do more to protect your identity, Kelly."

The redhead knit her brows. "And what did you have in mind? I don't have the money to pay protection fees to any of the gangs that are sprouting up."

"Go to C-Sec. My brother-in-law works there, as does Thane's son. See if they have some kind of protection program. Explain you're on the run. Be honest about being a Cerberus defector. They can help you hide your identity, inform the hospital of the name change, and then you can be back to your counseling under a new name."

"No, that would take too long. These people need someone now, and I'm one of the few who will actually come down here."

Ashley frowned at the refusal. "Kelly… c'mon. Please? Go to Kolyat, he'll take you directly to Bailey. They can do things to protect you that a plain civilian just can't do for herself." Kelly continued shaking her head, so Ashley pulled out her last bargaining chip. "Kelly. If you won't protect yourself, then I'll have to tell Miriam you're here. I am not going to let you be assassinated without doing something to protect you." She paused, holding the redhead's green eyes with her own for a moment. "I don't want your blood on my hands."

That seemed to get the woman's attention. "Fine. Just… don't tell Shepard I'm here. I don't want to interfere anymore in her life."

Ashley nodded. "I respect that. Go to C-Sec, ask for Kolyat, and I'll leave you alone. In fact, you never have to see me again."

Kelly left without a word, but Ashley wasn't worried. She was sure the girl would seek the protection she knew Miriam wanted her to have. And as a Spectre, Ashley could always check up on the name Kelly Chambers and see if it… disappeared.

Ashley's visit with Udina turned very quickly to a meeting with the entire Council via hologram. It was short and sweet, entirely unlike the Council in Ashley's experience. They wished to induct her into the Spectres as soon as possible. Today. Ashley was available, she just needed to speak with the Alliance first. And she made sure the Council understood that she was an Alliance soldier first. She would not do anything at the Council's order that put her in direct opposition to the Alliance and its goals. If they were not okay with this, then she would not be joining the Spectre ranks.

Surprisingly, the Council unanimously agreed, making Ashley immediately suspicious. Where was the dithering Council of three years ago?

Her time at the Alliance HQ on the Citadel was also quick. And gave her the answer she was looking for. Hackett had received her discharge orders directly from Dr. Michele and had put in the order to reinstate Ashley and issue her first orders. "Stay on the Citadel and do as the Council says until you are able to rejoin the crew of the Normandy. Commander Shepard has been informed."

That was it. She took her uniforms and other gear issued by the Alliance, went home to gather her family, and they all returned to the Council Chamber for her induction ceremony.

And now, Ashley stood in her dress blues, white wheel cap seated upon her head, the entire outfit fitting like a glove, as though it had been made to her exact measurements. Sam is gonna hate me for this. Her dress blues itch and fit like they were made for someone less well-endowed in the chest. I think she would also hate me for the fact that those tits are worth it. The Council was now present in full and in person, standing up on their dais overlooking the Council Chamber like the monarchs of old.

God, if I told Sam I just had that thought, she'd laugh her ass off. Ashley smiled, knowing she would be telling Samantha that just to see her smile.

A pang of guilt shot through her. This was all happening so fast, she hadn't had a chance to speak with Sam. The ceremony wasn't something she could postpone, but Sam wasn't answering Ashley's calls, despite it being a time of day they could normally talk. The Normandy must be on a mission or something. The best she could hope for was that Shepard would give it some pomp and circumstance when she told Sam the news. And she had Sara and Libby recording for her so Sam could watch the next time they were on the Citadel.

The next time she's here, we're gonna get married, Ash reminded herself, grinning just to think of it.

The ceremony itself was short. Ashley stood at attention, the glare of the lights shaded by her cap. Later, she couldn't recall the exact words used, nor which Councilor had said them. She was aware of her family's presence, however: of her mother's silent stoicism and of her sisters' not-so-silent gasps and giggles. She could almost feel Tim trying to stand slightly apart, and being dragged into the fold by Sara, whom he had formed the closest bond with, as she was barely two years older than he was.

God. She's so young to be a widow.

"You are now inducted into the Citadel Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Unit," Councilor Tevos intoned, signaling the end of the ceremony. "You will receive your first orders tomorrow." Ashley watched as the Councilors exited the dais. Only Udina joined Ashley, who was being hugged and congratulated by her family.

"Commander Williams, congratulations," he said, seizing her hand. His grip was much stronger this time around. "Is this your family?"

Ashley was beaming. "Yes, Councilor. These are my sisters and my mom. Oh, and my fiancée's brother," she added. She wasn't used to introducing any boys as part of her family.

Udina didn't shake anyone else's hand, but his smile did seem genuine. "It is so good you were able to get them here with you," he said. "You have been able to accomplish so much, even injured, even out of active-duty status. Imagine how much more you'll be able to accomplish back in both the Alliance and the Spectres? So much more than Shepard ever did." He paused, in which Ashley held back her frown. "Your loyalty to your family name, tainted as it has been, is a testament to your character."

Ashley nearly felt like snarling at him in warning. Digging at Shepard and the Williams name with just Ashley present was one thing, but in front of her family? Ashley's father – Beth's husband and father of her children – had died trying to turn the family's reputation around.

Not. Cool.

"Keep an eye out on the vids," Udina continued, seemingly oblivious to Ashley's sudden icy demeanor. "We did an ad that features humanity's newest Spectre. You mean everything to your people, Commander. Don't forget that."

He left.

"That slimy bastard is humanity's representation on the Citadel Council?" This was Tim, his British accent coloring the words in a new way that nearly made Ashley burst out laughing, despite the sour taste in her mouth.

"Ash, look." Ashley turned to see Libby already on her omnitool.

"What the hell is that?" she asked, staring at her own face – highly touched up and with way nicer hair than she typically had.

"It's an ad," Tim breathed, coming closer.

It was ridiculous, and yet…

As the camera panned out, Ashley Williams saw that this facsimile of herself stood upon a hill, hair blowing attractively in a breeze, an assault rifle tucked in below her armpit. Scattered all around her was various parts of geth hardware – she would recognize them anywhere after having destroyed so goddamn many of them. She wore her dress blues like she did now, rather than a hardsuit, which would have been mandatory out on a field of battle like that. Over the image, a male voice with a heroic tone said, "Ashley Williams, second human Spectre, true savior of the Citadel."

Ashley steamed. She almost spit, she was so mad. But when she looked up… she saw truly awed looks in the eyes of her mother and her sisters. Beth Williams pulled her into a tight hug, and suddenly she saw all of this through new eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, Ashley," she whispered. When she was released, her sisters took turns hugging her fiercely. It warmed her heart, to see this through their eyes. She was so worried about her friend's reputation and Udina's sliminess. But her family saw it without that prejudice. They just saw her, their daughter and sister, and the things she had done, the accomplishments that could be listed under her name. She was a hero. She had saved so many. She had done good and deserved to be celebrated, deserved good things to be said of her.

They were so proud of her. She wasn't the true savior of the citadel, but… couldn't she let her family have this?

As her family whisked her off to a celebratory dinner, the scowl on Tim's face gave her pause. Maybe she was wrong?