A/N: So I started a new job and also jumped on the WayHaught ship-train for Wynonna Earp, so I got suddenly quite busy. Raven Sinead, too, got busy, but she betad and returned 2, count 'em, 2 chapters to me this weekend! I've got one here, and then the next I'll post in like a week.

I'm also participating in NaNoWriMo right now and my first day's commute to work was murder on my back (bulging disc + sitting in the car for three hours = no bueno), so I'm basically a ball of exhaustion today. But! Hopefully as I get used to it, the writing will flow. And then once I'm done NaNoWriMo, I can split my focus between original stuff and fanfiction.

Now for this chapter. A couple reminders since I keep doing big long gaps on this one. 1) Udina's been insinuating that Shepard might be indoctrinated and it's been niggling at Ashley's brain. 2) Beth is Ashley's mother. 3) I dunno, but lists should come in threes, right?

Enjoy!

Ashley

Ashley fidgeted. So far, her first assignment as a Council Spectre was to just… sit tight. Literally, she was in her Alliance fatigues with a pistol at her hip, standing outside the suite of embassy offices, and watching all the people go by. More than one person stopped and engaged her in conversation, congratulating her on being inducted into the ranks of the Spectres the day before. Other Spectres identified themselves and congratulated her, as well.

It was boring as fuck for most of it. Ashley resented the hell out of it. She was here to look cute for Udina and the rest of the Council. It was confirmed when a camera bot swooped in on her, followed by a familiar face.

"Lieutenant-Commander Williams!"

Ashley schooled the scowl that tried to take root on her face, forcing it into a neutral expression.

"Lieutenant Williams! Khalisa Bint Sinan al-Jilani with ANN News Source! Please, the people need information on Earth!"

Ashley watched as the reporter came close. She stayed at parade-rest, though, not making eye contact until they were barely three feet apart. Then she looked at the reporter, remembering her sprawled on the ground after Miriam had decked her. It almost made Ash smile.

Almost.

"Lieutenant Will-"

"Commander."

"I- I'm sorry?"

Ashley took a deep breath, trying desperately to ignore the little red light near the camera bot's lens making it clear it was recording.

"My rank is Lieutenant-Commander. It's either the whole thing, or 'Commander' if you're going to address me by rank."

"Okay… Commander Williams, then. Can you tell our viewers what's going on down on the ground?"

Ashley shook her head. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but interviews are not being conducted at this time."

"I won't be kept from information, Commander!" Al-Jilani snapped. Ashley actually broke parade-rest to take a small step back, away from the sudden fire in the reporter's eyes. "This anti-human conspiracy-"

"Whoa! Calm down!" Ashley resumed her position. "There's no conspiracy!"

"My viewers will know that C-Sec and the Council are denying them access!"

Ashley frowned, considering the reporter for a moment. She would love to explain that she knew absolutely nothing because she'd been in the damn hospital until now, completely kept out of the loop, but that wouldn't do. Not with a live camera. And not with this woman's history of hysterics on said camera.

"I simply can't help you," she finally said, shrugging.

"Well, I'm camping out until I get an audience!" al-Jilani declared.

"Suit yourself," Ashley said, going back to parade-rest and breaking eye contact.

The reporter stayed there for a good few minutes, but finally lost the game of chicken with Ashley and moved to sit at the closest seat available in the waiting area outside the Councilors' offices. Ashley almost lost track of her, but that fucking little red light showed from time to time, getting her attention.

One hour clicked by. Then two. Ashley scowled. She could certainly wait the woman out. She'd done this as punishment before, standing watch, remaining totally still, for hours on end for some stupid decision in boot. It had been years, but she knew she had the mental discipline. Days of this though… that would be tough. Hopefully tomorrow they'd have had enough of her on display and she could actually fucking do something.

After a few hours, Udina finally buzzed her omnitool. She disappeared inside, and he filled her in on the lengthy meeting he'd just conducted with the rest of the Council via hologram. Settling in, Ashley listened to enough mindless political bullshit to choke a horse.

Ashley was three hours late for lunch by the time she was finally dismissed. The rest of the day was hers, however, and the next day she'd get to work with Bailey to strengthen security on the Citadel until the Normandy came. She was to check in with Udina three times a day, but, other than that, she was happy with her first assignment.

The reporter from earlier was still seated outside The Council's offices. She looked a little rumpled, a little worse for wear, and it suddenly occurred to Ashley that maybe, just maybe, this woman was so crazed because information really was that hard to come by. What if she had family on Earth? Friends? A husband or wife? I would be completely out of my mind, and I have military training. She doesn't.

"Hey! Khalisa!"

The reporter blinked rapidly a moment. She'd clearly been staring off into the middle distance. She shot to her feet when she saw it was Ashley, though.

"Commander?"

"What's really going on?"

"I don't- aren't you friends with Commander Shepard? What's she doing? How can she justify running away while millions of people die?!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ashley said, holding up her hands. "Slow down! We left Sol because we needed help!"

"What about all the people suffering while she plays politics with the Council? While you play politics for the Council? I saw you today. You just… stood here!"

Ashley frowned. "Who's on Earth?"

"What?"

"Who got left behind?"

"My… my sister. I haven't gotten news since they cut the feeds. It's been weeks."

Ashley nodded. "We're doing everything we can. I was on my feet today to prove I could do it after being injured so badly on our way out of Sol. Tomorrow, I'm going to C-Sec. As for Shepard…" She's out there, possibly being indoctrinated, with my fucking fiancée on her ship! "She's doing what she's always done: trying to find a way to stop the Reapers. And maybe she can do it now that everyone actually believes her."

"I just… I feel so useless. What can a reporter do?"

"Keep asking the hard questions. Be a journalist. Don't let the Council or the Citadel forget about Earth, or that there's a war on out there. Because it sure as shit ain't here."

"Right. Right. I can do that."

"Good. We all need to do our part. Not everyone can get their boots on the ground, but there's plenty you can do that jarheads like me can't."

"All right. I… thank you, Commander Williams."

Ashley watched as the reporter switched off her camera, dusted herself off, and headed toward Councilor Udina's office. Ashley didn't know if the woman would get an interview, but she'd done her job. It was Khalisa's job to take it from there.

And hey. She even managed not to punch her in the face.

Ashley still couldn't get a hold of Sam. She did get a single email response from her, though. The ship was participating in a ground mission and would only be getting daily information dumps until they were done doing whatever it was they were doing. Ashley understood. Before reading Sam's email, though, she saw that Miriam had sent one, too.

She opened it first.

Ash,

I got the notice of your discharge. Glad you're doing well enough to get out of the hospital. I also got the order that you'll be rejoining my crew when next we dock on the Citadel. I'll be glad to have you on the ground with me. Nothing like a Williams watching your six.

Congrats on the Spectre ceremony. Hopefully they did it less last-minute for you than they did for me. There was so little pomp and circumstance for me… then they threw me at Saren the next fucking minute.

Of course, I guess I asked for that one…

Anyway, congrats. We can talk about command structure when you get on board. ;)

-Mir

Ashley's heart panged. It sounded like Shepard. Same brevity. Same slight awkwardness about feelings. Same stupid winky-face. But indoctrination was so sinister. Shepard wouldn't know it. It wouldn't come out in a simple, short email.

Would it?

Need to get on that ship. I'll be able to make a better decision, and protect Sam if I need to, if I'm just there.

Sighing heavily, Ashley moved on to Sam's email.

Hey, Ash.

So, you're a Spectre! And you're out of the hospital! Such good news to wake up to! I, of course, can't tell you anything about what we've been up to, but rest assured I am a dashing hero on the comms. Fixing code, blocking viruses, directing Shepard to the next ladder. So daring!

I really don't have much else to say. I hope you're well. I love you. I'm proud of you. Now I'll go write Tim. God, it'll be even shorter…

Love,

Sammy

Ashley snickered. She understood Sam's reticence. There wasn't much to say at the moment, but the desire to reach out and connect was so strong she could almost taste it. So they did, even if their messages were short.

Sighing, Ashley shut down her omnitool, got out of the cab, and walked the few blocks to her apartment. Everyone was home when she got there.

Fuck. I wanted to have some quiet time with a book…

"Ash!"

"Want something to eat?"

"We're gonna watch a vid!"

Suppressing a groan, Ashley shook her head and headed for the bathroom. She could get a little privacy in here, at least. It was worth delaying a snack. Turning on the bath, she stripped down, throwing her clothes in the sanitizer after removing all her pins.

She observed herself in the mirror after undressing. Her hair could use a trim, and there was still the barest hint of bruising around her eyes, but everything else was normal. She had perhaps lost just a bit of weight and muscle while convalescing, but she'd expected that. She didn't think she was particularly sexy to look at – certainly, not the picture of feminine grace – but at the same time, she could see what she brought to the table for someone like Sam. Ashley was tall, and well-muscled, with an ass and thighs that made it possible for her to run down an enemy even while carrying all the armor and weaponry she sported in combat.

They also allowed her to pick Samantha up and throw her around a little, when that was what she wanted.

Ashley wasn't feminine or graceful, but she was fit and strong, with a body that could do what she needed it to do. One day, she'd get lazy – and probably fat, with how she ate – in an office somewhere. But first… first she'd use this body to do her small part to end the Reapers.

Climbing into the bath, Ashley lay back, luxuriating in the oversized tub. Usually, she did the military shower: five minutes of scrubbing, rinse off, then you're done. But today, after such a test of her mental strength while standing outside the embassies, Ashley needed to relieve the tension. It was also her first day with absolutely no painkillers, and her first day not taking it easy outside of physical therapy. Tomorrow, she'd go to the shooting range, work out, and see how she could help Bailey. Maybe she'd check in on Thane. But today… today she'd relax the rest of the day.

After only a few minutes, she started thinking about Sam again. She missed her. But it was more than just being wistful. It was a physical ache. They'd been almost inseparable for six months, and then the fucking day after their anniversary – and engagement! – the fucking Reapers hit. Others had been unluckier… but it was still pretty shit luck.

Ashley missed Sam's smile, her hair getting in the way of their kisses, her geeking out about chess at the most inopportune moments – like in bed. She missed Sam getting her ukulele out and playing when she was bored, or when she missed home. Sam would make Ashley sing with her, even though Ash couldn't sing for shit. Of course, the moment Sam told her the huskiness was sexy, Ash had stopped trying to bow out of singing. Ashley missed Sam's lips, the press of their kisses, the soft feel of those lips as Sam peppered Ashley's collarbone with light kisses and flicks of her tongue.

Most of all, though, Ashley missed Sam's voice. They were talking with some regularity now, but there was only so much their cold omnitools could transmit. Ashley missed how Sam's voice would get just above a whisper the closer together they got. She missed the way Sam's breath whispered over her skin. She missed how Sam's voice became quite low in register when she was speaking in Ashley's ear, telling her all about the unspeakable things they were about to do together.

Shuddering, her body suddenly humming with arousal, Ashley trailed her hand down between her legs. It wasn't Sex with Sam, but it was all she had at the moment, and for once she had a few minutes to herself. So, summoning up one of those fantasies she'd tell Sam all about later, Ashley took care of her sudden need to let off some steam.

Thirty minutes later, she exited the restroom, clean and dressed and entirely relaxed, if also feeling a little dirty for reasons having nothing to do with actual cleanliness.

"Oh, thank God, I thought I was gonna pee myself!" Lynne shouted, ducking into the bathroom as soon as Ashley's hand left the doorknob.

Ashley blushed. She'd been quietly masturbating while her poor sister had needed to pee. Oops.

"So," her mother, Beth, said, getting her attention. "Today was your first day on assignment."

"Yeah," Ashley said, wandering into the kitchen.

"Well?"

"What?" Ashley grabbed herself an apple. Fresh fruit was hard to come by, but one of Tim's coworkers knew a guy, and he'd brought a dozen of them home the day before. Six had been immediately used for an apple pie, which was sitting and smelling amazing while it cooled on the countertop. Ash would have swiped part of that, but she knew her mother would have immediately known who'd taken it. All of the sisters were voracious eaters, but Ashley was a marine. Her metabolism probably required twice the calories of her sisters. Plus… she'd always been the one with the sweet tooth.

"Jesus, Ash, tell her about your day before she bursts a vein or something!" Sarah yelled. She sat next to Tim, where they both watched the biotiball game.

"Oh. Right." Ashley finished chewing, giving Beth a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Mom. It was, um… boring, honestly. I just stood outside the embassies for fu—forever." Beth raised an eyebrow at Ashley almost swearing, but said nothing, so Ashley continued. "Then we met about the Council for like three hours without lunch. Then I was released. Tomorrow, I get to check if Bailey could use a hand. Maybe I can go in with you, Tim?"

"I start with PT in the mornings, Ash," he said, not turning around.

"Good! Need to keep up my exercise if I'm gonna rejoin the Normandy!"

This time, Tim did turn around. "PT with a marine? I'm screwed."

"Aww, c'mon, Tim. I've been in the hospital. I'll need you to help me get back up to combat strength!"

"That is an honor I don't particularly need."

Ashley snorted, shaking her head. He was so much like Sam sometimes, despite the fact that he and Sam almost constantly bickered when they were together.

"So you are to join the Normandy when it next docks," Beth said, regaining Ashley's attention.

"Yeah."

"Samantha is on that ship, correct?"

"That's right."

Beth fixed her with a curious expression. Ashley wasn't really sure what it meant. Maybe concern? Maybe she's worried they'll be kicked out when I leave? "You guys can stay here, Mom. Spectres keep their apartments even when they're not on the Citadel." She smirked. "You can even take my bed. You are the matriarch, after all."

Her mother chuckled, but then that look reappeared. This time, however, she said something. "I imagine you two will rush your wedding, given the war?"

Ashley immediately flushed bright red. She'd planned to do that quietly, with just Shepard and Sam. A formality that she and her fiancée could celebrate privately. Then, when everything was over, said and done, they could have a big wedding; their families would be there – both of our families, dammit! – and they could have the biggest party anyone had ever seen.

She didn't want to rush that part. The formality of having Sam legally attached to her while they both served was what was most important to Ash at this time. The rest could follow after. After they knew what had happened to everyone…

"I see I'm right," Beth said now, and reached over, patting Ashley's red cheek. "My little marine, showing her feelings so well on her face."

"Mom…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The room fell silent, only the sound of the game filling the air. Nobody else's eyes were on her, but a quick glance told Ashley that everybody watching the game had gone completely still.

Fuck.

"I…"

"You're not in trouble, Ashley."

Ashley frowned and turned away. "I wanted to get the legal part of things out of the way now. And then, when we find Sam's family… then we can have the big wedding, the big party."

"Why have it at all, then, Ashley?"

"Mom… you know…"

"You need to say it, Ashley. The true reason. And it's not because of Samantha and Timothy's family. Not completely."

The LC slumped. She was no longer blushing. She was terrified of saying the words out loud. Every marine was. When faced with your own mortality, who wouldn't be afraid of admitting just how quickly your seemingly indomitable mind could end? It was why Ashley clung so tightly to her faith. It couldn't just… end. She couldn't believe that.

Ashley straightened, looking down on her mother, who was several inches shorter than her. "Because, Mom. I could die on my very next mission, and if I do, I want to have done everything I could to protect that woman who asked me to take her as my wife, for better or for worse. I almost didn't get the chance to protect her. I'm not doing that again."

Beth Williams was still for a moment. As Ashley watched, a quiet tear gathered upon her lashes, and fell down the woman's cheek when she blinked. But that was it.

"Thank you," her mother said aloud, then went to the door, took her bag from the table, and exited the apartment.

"Mom…" Ashley tried, but Sarah was magically right next to her, keeping her from following their mother.

"Let her go, Ash. She needs to process this." Ashley turned to look down into her sister's big, brown eyes. They shone with moisture. "We almost lost you. And when the Normandy comes, we might lose you again. You barely made it off the first time it was destroyed. Then you got your neck broken the last time you served on the ship. That's a lot to ask Mom to be okay with."

"Dammit, I'm a marine, Sarah! I can't just sit by and do nothing!" Ashley nearly shouted. "I can't stay here if there's a chance I could help out there!"

"I know, Ash," Sarah said. "Thomas was the same. He jumped back into action with the same kind of enthusiasm that you and Dad share. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved him for it. I love you all for it." Sarah took Ashley by the shoulders and stared up into her eyes, dead serious. "But that doesn't mean we have to like it. It doesn't mean we don't get to be sad that we might lose you. You're the only one out of the three of them left alive, Ash."

Sarah then collapsed into a sobbing mess in Ashley's arms, and all Ashley could do was hold her and turn her guilty gaze upon the rest of her family.