Chapter 8

A/N: So, let's just pretend it's Tuesday. That way you can get the update now. Thank you so much for all the reviews, liked, and recs, we flove you all! This chapter mentions suicide, so if that's a trigger be cautious. Also, the way our characters feel about any sensitive topic is not a reflection of our feelings, so don't take the story as a commentary on such. Ok? As always, thank you to our amazing prereaders Maplestyle, SassyNoles, and 2brown-eyes, they give us great suggestions and comments. Also thank you to Alice'sWhiteRabbit because she helps us make this readable. Love all you girls. Let's see what Bella has to say.

Songs- Stitches by Shawn Mendes, Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

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I was woken by the sunlight streaming in through the windows. I groaned and reached over to the other side of the bed, expecting a hard body but I came up empty, just feeling more sheets. I opened my eyes and looked over. No, I wasn't mistaken. The bed was empty. I sat up in bed, completely confused. I called out for Edward, just to make sure he wasn't somewhere else in the apartment. When no response came, I reached over to my nightstand to grab my phone. No texts or missed calls. I called his phone, it rang, and then switched to his voicemail.

I flung my phone on the bed next to me and got out of bed. I took one step when I felt an ache down there. I blushed when I thought about what had happened last night. Edward going down on me was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced. Even though I had no real frame of reference, I imagined that was not what every woman experienced. Edward was a little kinky and whole lot naughty. I smiled and smoothed my hair back, but then I frowned, my good mood gone.

I couldn't figure out why Edward wasn't here, but then all the memories of experiences with Edward over the last few weeks, hell even just the last few days came rushing back to me. Fuck! I was so stupid to actually think that maybe we had been turning a corner. I didn't know if I should be giving him the benefit of the doubt or not. Maybe there was something I was missing.

I could count the guys I have been romantically involved with on one hand, hell even one finger. Jacob. Just thinking about him made my stomach clench. I suddenly realized that all the things I had hated about Jacob were all the things that Edward had been pulling on me. The possessiveness, the jealousy, the taking liberties- all while still holding me at arm's length. And I had never been intimate with Jacob the way I had Edward.

I really had to wonder if it was my father's fault, or mine. When I was 8 years old, my mom slit her wrists in the bathroom and when I woke up the next morning, I wondered why she hadn't woken me up to get ready for school like usual. I couldn't find her anywhere and finally tried the bathroom. I didn't understand what I was seeing at first, but when I saw the crimson puddles on the floor and the red tinged bath water, I finally understood.

My mom, the one who made me breakfast every morning and picked me up from school, was gone and all that was left was this lifeless shell. I screamed and cried trying to get my mom to respond. My dad showed up because he was worried my mom hadn't been answering the phone. He had been working an overnight shift. He picked me up and took me out of the room. He comforted me as best he could but being a police officer, he didn't put off calling the station.

After her funeral, I found out that my mom had been severely depressed for a long time. I didn't understand a lot of it at the time, but she had been taking medication and doing better, but she had stopped taking them shortly before her suicide. It never made sense to me because she never seemed sad. I then learned the truth about depression, and she had just gotten really good at hiding it.

My dad got really overprotective shortly after her death. As much as I loved my dad, it had become suffocating living with him. He always wanted me close. No boyfriends until he decided that Jacob and I needed to be shoved together, no parties, no sleepovers, nothing that had me out of his sight.

School was the only escape I had from him and Jacob, but even there I didn't feel safe to step outside the box I had been shoved into. We lived in a small town, so everyone knew who my dad was, and I found out real soon that he had eyes everywhere. It made me mad at my mom for leaving me and my dad for imprisoning me like the criminals he caught every day.

When I arrived in Seattle, I felt free, but I was honestly craving for attention and something to make me feel wanted, desired. Getting the job at DarkStrip was a perfect storm. It gave me the vehicle to be sexy and desired, by perfect strangers nonetheless.

It gave me friendships with Rose and Alice, the type of friends I never got to have growing up, my dad would have never approved. Jasper and Emmett were the first male friends I had ever had, outside Jacob, and really, he didn't count. Then there was Edward. I felt a stab of longing thinking about him. He gave me that feeling of being powerful and beautiful, while he actually was in possession of all the power and control.

I hated being controlled and from the start Edward was the one holding all the cards. I was just his little puppet and I was too blind to see he had been using me. It really fucking pissed me off. I had traded in two controlling men for one that I was willing to give the ammo. I had willingly chained myself to my warden.

I jumped into the shower to try and wash the memory of Edward off my body. It didn't work and I found myself thinking over what he had done to me last night. I felt another pang of desire and longing pass through me. Edward was the first guy to ever give me an orgasm and I couldn't deny that I wanted to do it again. That made me even madder because I knew it wasn't going to happen again. I wasn't going to go beg him. I already had, last night to give him a blowjob. Just another thing to give him the control.

When I finished with my shower, I got dressed in some cute clothes but not completely dressed up. I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard, because I wasn't. I didn't even know if Edward would be at the club tonight. Tonight was my night off but Alice and Rose had told me that I should come by anyways because we could still hang out. True, I wanted to talk to Edward, but I also wanted to see my friends. When it came time for the girls to be there and probably getting ready, I decided to head over.

I got there in record time, okay maybe I was speeding just a little bit. I headed into the club and was almost immediately tackled by the little pixie. "B, you came! It's so weird to have you here as a customer right now." Even though I was still miffed at Edward, I found myself laughing at her antics. Jasper and Emmett gave me one-armed hugs as they scurried past, getting things set up and ready to open. Rose and Alice were already dressed, which wasn't a surprise to me. I was surprised to hear that Edward had been holed up since before they even showed up. That was a rare thing.

I told Rose and Alice to give me a second and headed to Edward's office. I knocked on the door. I waited and was about to walk away when I heard his familiar voice call out to come in. I opened the door, cautiously peeking in before fully entering. Edward was sitting at his computer desk, spinning a gold-plated letter opener around on the surface of the desk. He looked up and huffed when he saw it was me. "You have the night off, Isabella. What are you doing here?"

"I'm confused. Where were you this morning?"

"What do you mean? I went home."

"Yeah, obviously, but why?"

"Look, I don't know what you want from me, so why don't we cut the bullshit and you tell me what you want to hear." He said, and I could see his irritation ratcheting up.

"Edward, do you not remember what happened last night."

"Yeah, I do, Bella, do you? Didn't really know it would be that easy. If I had, I might have tried sooner, and in public no less, but I knew the minute I caught you watching Rose and Emmett that I could get you to do it."

"Why are you acting like this? I thought-"

"You thought what?" He interrupted me, standing up. "That I was in love with you? It was just sex, Bella. A way to release tension. You got a lot to learn about men, little girl. I'm not into fairy tales and don't believe in those emotions. Remember those games I told you don't know how to play." He asked, circling me, like I was his prey.

I was completely stunned by the things he was saying. Edward was always crass and unapologetic, but this was just cruel and pretty fucked up, if I was being honest. But he wasn't done yet.

"You know I'm glad we didn't fuck 'cause if we did, I'd never get away from you."

I actually gasped at that comment. My rage started boiling and I hadn't been so mad since I was a teenager. When I got extremely pissed, I tended to cry but I didn't want to give him the fucking satisfaction. That was what he was obviously trying to accomplish. I spoke as evenly as I could, trying to not raise my voice. "Wow, you asshole."

He got that cold calculating smile, and he tilted his head. He gestured to grab my chin, but I jerked away from him and slapped him as hard as I could, happy to see that I had very obviously left a mark. He looked completely shocked and I got in his face. "Don't ever fucking touch me again." I growled at him. I saw the vein in his jaw throbbing, and he looked eerily calm. I turned to get the hell out of his office.

Before I was able to open the door, I was shoved up against the wood, facing away from Edward. He grabbed my hands, slamming them against the door above my head. He let out a mean chuckle. "You can deny it all you want but your body still craves my touch." I whimpered. "You're not ready to play with the big boys, so if you want to keep your hands, I suggest you don't fucking hit me again." He growled in my ear. He let go of my hands. "Get the fuck out, Bella." He said with barely controlled fury.

I opened the door and got out of there as fast as I could. The tears were running down my face before I even made it past the bar. Emmett grabbed my arm to stop me and I ripped it away from him. I went and found Rose. I practically flung myself into her arms.

"B, honey, what is wrong."

All I could get out was "Edward-"

She pulled me back from her and was looking me over to make sure he hadn't been hurt me physically. I shook my head, still not able to speak."

"Babe, you don't need to be here right now. Go home. Emmett is gonna take you. You're in no condition to drive."

"Rose, please don't make this a big deal." I said quietly as Emmett walked around the corner towards us.

"Look, I don't know what happened, but I can see right now that you look devastated. Now you can argue all you want but he is taking you home."

"Come on, little one. I got you." Emmett said, putting his arm around me and once we got out to his car, I was suddenly pissed again.

"There was a reason I didn't go running to you. Fucking men and their control bullshit. Oh, little Bella is so delicate and weak. Needs the big strong man to save her from herself." I said as I got in the passenger side.

He crouched in front of me. He put his hands up in surrender. "Whoa, I'm not the bad guy here, sweetheart."

"Don't fucking call me that!" I yelled. Edward had called me that as an insult that first night.

I felt the warmth of Emmett's body against my side. I tried to fight against him, but he was probably the best to take my beating until I felt the fight leave me and I was sobbing again. "I don't think you are weak, Bella. You've gone toe to toe with someone that larger men than you would run from."

"I don't know what that means."

He gave me a small smile. "Let's get you home."

We were fairly quiet on the drive home, until I asked the question that had been gnawing at me.

"Why is he like this, Em? So cold and fucking cruel. Did some chick break his heart?"

Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "No, he's never had a relationship go that far. Edward doesn't do the girlfriend thing. Look, I make a habit of not getting into Edward's personal affairs too much, but I like you and consider you a friend. I can't tell you about his past because I'm not sure I know everything. He can feed me bullshit all he wants but there is something different about you. So, my advice to you is keep pushing. You like him, right?"

"Yeah, for some fucked up reason I do. I just swear there's something beneath that fucked up exterior and I feel like what's underneath that is worth it, you know. But Em I can't keep going through all this bullshit with him."

"B, he has walls for a reason, just like everyone does, but you need to break them down. Unfortunately, he is comfortable with his walls so you might have to scratch, claw, and tear to get them down."

"What if I'm too tired to fight, Emmett? I don't think I have it in me anymore. If you had any idea the things he said to me."

"Well, I don't. I honestly have no idea what is going on between you too. Tell me."

"So, Edward and I were intimate last night, I won't go into graphic detail, but it was mostly oral. I'm a virgin. So, he was saying shit that made me think that maybe things were changing for him. When I woke up this morning, he was gone. I confronted him in his office, and he said that it was just sex and that he didn't believe in fucking fairy tales and those love emotions. Then he said he was glad he didn't fuck me because if he did, he never would be able to get away from me."

Emmett gripped the steering wheel tight and growled, "Uilleamhsan."

"What?"

"Sorry, that was Gaelic. It means fucker."

"How the hell do you know Gaelic?"

He pulled up alongside my apartment building. "I'm interested in many languages, but I'm Irish," he said proudly.

"Huh, I didn't know that. Interesting."

"Look, Bella. What Edward said to you was fucked up, and yeah, maybe you two need to give each other some space, but I honestly think you shouldn't give up just yet."

"But I—"

"Just think about it. Normally, I would offer to walk you to your apartment, maybe jokingly ask for a kiss goodnight, but I gotta get back. Edward's already gonna be pissed I gave you a ride."

"If you guys get into a fight, you should punch him in the mouth for me," I joked. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and got out of the car. I waved to him and went inside my apartment. I got dressed in my comfy pajamas, sat on my couch, and turned on my iPod. "A Million Reasons" by Lady Gaga filled the small living room. I try to make the worse seem better. Lord show me the way to cut through all this worn-out leather. I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay … And if you say something that you might even mean, it's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe 'cause you're giving me a million reasons. Give me a million reasons … Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith.But, baby, I just need one good one.

I thought about what Emmett had told me, telling me not to give up. Edward had given me a thousand and one reasons to give up, and I was just looking for that one glimpse of humanity to show me that there was some hope. But after what had happened tonight, my faith was shaken, and I really was starting to believe that there wasn't a heart inside that man's chest. I could never fathom saying that to someone I actually had some type of feelings toward.

I had decided. Maybe one day Edward Cullen would show the world that he had a heart, and maybe he would actually find himself in love or ready to open himself up to the possibility, but it most certainly wasn't going to be me. I was done being his plaything; he could find someone else's mind to fuck with. I didn't need him nor want his fuckery anymore. I would stay at DarkStrip because I had to have a job, but I would be looking for employment elsewhere, and hopefully, I could just avoid him until I found another job. It was time to move on.

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A/N: So, there was your answer to what Edward was gonna do now. Just so you know, Edward is not hearts and flowers, if you can't tell. Both our characters have some growing to do. Let us know what you think. Love, hate, and everything in between. Thank you for reading and we will see you on Friday! Later lovelies!