Chapter 19

A/N: So, it's Friday! Yay. Here is the next chapter that I know everyone is waiting for. We love hearing your theories and ideas on this. Still no questions that we really can answer because the plot is still unfolding. Thank you so much for your support and reviews. Thanks always to our preaders and out beta: Maplestyle, SassyNoles, 2brown eyes, and Alice'sWhiteRabbit. Onto EPOV.

Songs- Mad World by Adam Lambert, Sound of Silence by Disturbed

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As soon as the words left Bella's lips, I immediately went still, my gaze dropping into a glare. Every nerve in my body turned to ice, and a wave of anger I'd never experienced oozed from my pores. Suddenly, I felt on the brink of combusting, and the wall that had crumbled days ago slid back in place. A weird prickling sensation rippled across my skin, and this raw, achy sense of betrayal shot through my gut.

My anger must've been apparent because she slowly backed away from the sofa, trying to put space between her and me. Very slowly, and my stern gaze never wavering, I climbed to my feet, closing the distance separating us. My jaw clenched so hard I felt as if my teeth would break, and I had to stop myself, forcibly, a foot away from her.

If she were a man … fuck … if she were a man. "What the fuck did you just say?"

I heard my words, and they sounded poisonous and bitter to my own ears. Even while, deep down, I knew I was overreacting; I couldn't stifle the rage currently filling me. The blood in my veins turned to ice, and everything I thought to be true this morning went to utter shit.

Why she looked so startled, like someone had socked her in the gut, was beyond me. She had to know when she decided to go exploring in my shit that I would be pissed, yet here she stood, looking at me like I didn't have the right to take her fucking head off. I've never been shy with my temper. Not with her, or with anyone else, and she's never hesitated to stand up to me either, so I wasn't shocked when she squared her shoulders and lifted her head, refusing to back down. She thinks she's brave, but really, she's being stupid.

"Um … I … I … don't know much about you … you never tell me anything about yourself …" Even as she spoke to me, I heard the slight tremble in her voice.

My hand slammed down on the glistening oak of the pony wall. "If I wanted you to know about me, I would've told you … Fuck, Bella, what gives you the right to dig into shit you have no idea about? How the fuck could I be so fucking stupid? I give you a fucking inch, and like everyone in the goddamn world, you take a mile."

Satisfaction filled my chest when she flinched as my hand connected with the wood, the slapping sound making her jump as she regarded me. As I glared at her, I noticed her expression twist as her temper started to climb. "Are you kidding me right now? You said I belong to you, and you belong to me. Yet I'm supposed to blindly follow along with everything you say and do … when I know absolutely shit about you. You've been so closed off for so long you don't even know what it means to let someone in, Edward."

"Motherfucking, woman." I growled, getting in her face. Her little puffs of breath coasted over my skin, infuriating me even more. "Did you ever think … that maybe … just fucking maybe, with some time, I would've told you … Mother fuck … what the fuck were you hoping to find? Huh? Digging into someone's private shit … like you have a goddamn right to the information. Bella, I swear to fuck …"

My fists balled at my side with the need to hit something. If she were a man … this would be a whole different situation, yet she wasn't, and for that reason, I backed up a step. Apparently, the space I tried to create wasn't in her vocabulary because she approached me fearlessly. "Bella, I'm warning you to stay the fuck back from me right now."

She faltered and staggered to a standstill, her jaw falling open, and a light mist of tears clouded her naturally vibrant gaze. My heart seized and refused to resume its beat as I watched the pain twist her features. Her reaction inspired another surge of fury shooting through my core. I flexed my fingers as the impulse to pound something arose with a vengeance. Just to keep my hands occupied, my fingers twisted in my hair and pulled. The pain shooting through my scalp cooled some of the fire raging in my body. Shaking my head, I studied her through narrowed pupils, saying, "How the fuck could you even think it was okay to go rifling through my personal affairs? What the fuck gave you the idea or right? Why couldn't you just leave it alone, Bella?"

Regret finally sprang into her eyes as I regarded her silently. I still wanted to shred shit with my teeth, but the noticeable difference in her demeanor shifted some of the anger. I'm not sure what it was about this woman, but she brought out the best and worst in me. Moving a couple of paces toward her, I paused in my tracks when she started to speak. "Edward, I just wanted … wanted to know a little bit about you. I can't believe what you must've gone through. I just … I just want to be there for you and support you as you have me. Why won't you let me be there for you?"

Her arms folded around her middle as if she were trying to comfort herself. I hated the way she sunk in on herself. I hated the fearful look in her eyes, but mostly, I hated the tears clouding her eyes. I'd never needed pity for anyone—not one damn person in my entire life—and I wasn't about to have this woman, of all people, look upon me as she was now. My jaw ticked as I slapped the half-wall again, the sound ricocheting off the walls around us; feeling rejuvenated in my rage, I stomped closer to her.

"There are pieces of my life that are fucking mine and no one else's. They're mine, Bella, to do what the fuck I want with. If I want them to make me into one mean son-of-a-bitch, then that's my fucking right." With each word I spoke, the sound came harsher and angrier until I felt like my skin was being ripped from my bones. "You wanna know what the fuck happened? Huh? You want the intel … Does it help you know me better if I tell you a gun was put to my mother's forehead and her brains were blown across the room? Is that the information you were seeking? Now that you know the goddamn truth, does it make you like me more—want me more? Huh?"

"You are such a self-righteous prick," she seethed back, flinching away from me as my nose grazed hers. Even while she flinched, she didn't give an inch. With all the strength she could muster, she lifted her hand and placed them against my chest. "Get the hell out of my face. Excuse me for giving a shit about your sorry ass. I wanted … I intended to come in here and …"

"And what? Hold me in your arms and tell me everything is going to be okay?" Laughing with no humor, I glared down at her. "Guess what, Bella? I know everything will be okay … You know why? Because I make it okay."

"What the fuck does that even mean? You talk in riddles," she fumed, pacing several feet away from me. Whirling back around to face me, she growled. "How could you possibly make that okay? What happened to your mother was disgusting and horrible. How do you overcome something of that magnitude all on your own? I told you things about myself I would've never told another soul … Don't you understand how monumental that was for me? To tell you about my mother committing suicide …"

As she paced away from me in the living room, I was hot on her trail. My finger lifting, I pointed it at her with accusation. "That's right, Bella, you fucking told me. I didn't go prying into your life, sorting through all the garbage from your past. You told me that information because you wanted to … because you felt comfortable doing so … Did you ever stop to think—stop to think that perhaps with time, I would've told you everything you wanted to know? No. Instead, you robbed me of the opportunity with your immaturity and impatience."

"Now caring for you is a lack of maturity? You really have a way with your choice of words, Mr. Cullen. So, when you said you belonged to me, and I, you—what did that even fucking mean? Were they just words to you?" A tear rolled down her cheek, and she angrily pushed it away. When I didn't immediately respond, she came forward and lifted up her wobbling chin at me. "Am I just a toy to you? Do I have this invisible string attached to me I'm not aware of? I'm not a fucking yo-yo for you to pull in and release at your will."

I supposed with all the changes in my behavior, Bella had every right to feel as if she were being toyed with, yet that was far from my intention. Bella Masen was the hurricane, ripping my life to shreds. Everything I'd come to know over the years and rely on lay shredded at my feet. Honestly, I'm not sure how one person managed to rock a person beyond comprehension, but that's the power this woman wielded. She had no fucking clue the control at her fingertips, and if my speculations were right, once she understood her influence over me, she'd be unstoppable.

Just because I knew this to be true did not mean I was willing or capable of giving her full reign. Purposely, I kept walking until she came up against the wall, and she was trapped between me and the structure. Bending low until my breath ruffled the wisps of hair curling against her face, some of my temper deflated as I asked, "Why? Why does it have to be all or nothing with you? Why can't you just be fucking satisfied with the pieces I'm willing to share? Have you considered that you are the only person who has managed to get this close to me in decades? Why can't that be enough for you?"

Her face softened as each word I spoke lowered until I was merely whispering. "Because if there is pain in your life … I want to share that with you. I want to know I'm the person you come to when your life is complete shit, and I don't ever wanna feel like I'm a puppet … j-just going along blindly with whatever you say."

I studied her long and hard. Inch by inch, my face dropped to hers until my nose brushed against hers. The sweetness of her breath curled into my nostrils, and the anger I'd felt moments ago melted. "Woman, you are not a toy … I'm not leaving you out of shit … I'm fucking trying … for the first time in my life, I'm trying. Did you ever stop to think I'm trying my fucking damnedest to protect you from things … things you have no idea about? I don't want … I don't … I can't imagine if something like that were to happen to you."

"Edward, nothing like that would ever happen to me," Bella whispered, her hand coming up to run along my jaw. As she spoke, the muscle in my temple began to throb because she still had no idea about the real dangers she faced by being a part of my world. She combed her fingers through my hair, and with every touch, I melted a bit more, my arms coming up to rest on the wall, supporting my weight. "I want to take your pain, Edward, and be here …"

I shook my head, my lips coasting along her jaw as her smell drew me closer. "That's what you don't understand, Bella. I have no pain … Haven't you been paying attention to me at all? Whatever emotion I had died that day long ago … right next to my mother."

"I don't believe that," she whispered against my lips. "Every word, every touch, and every breath since I've met you scream fucking emotion … and I want them all."

Her final words melted into my kiss as my lips danced over hers. My hands left the perch on the wall and fisted in her hair. A growl ripped from my chest as her taste consumed me. Too much of my life, I'd been subjected to this deprivation, robbing me of human connection. Now that a crack in the fortitude had been breached, the dam broke loose, and I was incapable of blocking the flow.

My tongue darted into her warm depths, swirling around, tasting, relishing every morsel I consumed. As I nipped sharply at her lips, her fingers curled into my hair, holding me to her, her nails biting into the nape of my neck. With a growl vibrating from my chest, I took hold of her wrists and pinned them above her head, and I tore my mouth from hers.

"You are so infuriating," I told her as my mouth slid across her jaw to find the lobe of her ear. Harshly, I bit into the skin, causing her to yelp in surprise. Licking the sting away, I bit into her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Moaning, my eyes rolled as she arched her breast against my chest. "Don't think I will ever get fucking enough of you … Fuck … You've been working me over since you walked into DarkStrip. You have a habit of pissing me off to no end … You do realize that, right?"

"Oh, really." She laughed a bit breathlessly. "I hadn't noticed."

"I just bet you haven't." I groaned, licking down her neck. While one hand pinned her arms above her head, I yanked the flimsy material of her skirt up her legs, my hand shooting between her legs. Encountering her lacey panties, I gave an impatient tug, ripping the delicate fabric into shreds. "I don't even understand why you continue to wear panties. Goddamn inconvenience."

I didn't give her a chance to respond as my mouth returned to hers, and my fingers found her slick opening. Skimming the moist flesh, I teased her slit with a fingertip, leaving her shimmying against the wall, seeking, begging for the possession of my fingers. Sucking her lip into my mouth, I let it pop free. "Do you have any idea the wicked, nasty, dirty things I want to do to this body?"

"Edward," she whispered as her hips wiggled, and she tugged against the hold of my hands. "I think you talk way too much. Put those fucking fingers in me before I combust … or hell, your tongue … fuck …"

I grinned down at her as I used the moisture from her body to lubricate her clit. Spreading her wide, I toyed with the nub until she whimpered helplessly. "How bad do you want it, Bella? Which do you want? These fingers, my tongue? Wanna ride my face? Want me to bend you over and slam this cock into your tight pussy?"

With every word I spoke, her wails of need grew keener, filling the living space, and I felt my eyelids drop as desire slammed through my body. My cock was as hard as a spike, yet I wasn't nearly done playing with her pussy. I kissed her chin, my tongue sliding down her neck; finding her breast beneath the short dress she wore, I latched onto her puckered nipple. Undeterred by the material between us, I sucked hard as my fingers circled her center. Growing impatient, I left her slick entrance to rip the front of her dress. "Don't even know why you bother to wear clothes … New rule when you're here … no fucking clothes."

"I would look awful silly running around here butt ass naked." Bella laughed before her voice trailed off into a moan as my fingers returned to playing with her slit. Her gaze grew cloudy with the haze of lust as I slowly dipped a fingertip inside before retracting it. "Stop fucking playing, Edward. I need you right now. Put your finger in me … or two of them."

"One or two," I teased, my cock throbbing between my legs, causing gooseflesh to ripple down my spine. Involuntarily, my neck rolled on my shoulders, and my nostrils flared. Unable to help myself, I let one finger slip into her tight passage, savoring the way her muscles clamped around the single digit. "I wish my tongue were as long as my fingers. Swear to fuck … It would be all up in this pussy, and don't even get me started on that sweet ass."

As I spoke about her ass, I let my finger plunge into her tight opening before withdrawing them to circle her second opening, drifting the tip over her puckered flesh. "Could eat your ass until I fucking die … my fucking cock is about to rip right out of these pants."

"I'm … I'm starting." She gasped, gulping down a breath as she wiggled against my hand. "I think you are all talk … Words are pretty, Mr. Cullen, but nothing compares to action."

My gaze dropped into a glare as I regarded her. Staring her in the eye, I let one fingertip dip into her ass before withdrawing to return to her pussy. Sinking my finger deep, I slammed my palm into her clit, rubbing vigorously. I kissed her with all the pent-up rage and yearning burning in me before ripping my mouth from hers. "You want action, sexy witch? Then action is what you're about to get. About to be all up in that pussy and ass."

"Prove it," she dared, her breath coming fast and hard.

For a moment, I simply stood there gazing upon the image she presented. Her creamy chest was bared from me tearing her dress, and I still had her hands pinned above her head. Her eyes glowed with heat and lust almost equal to the rampant desire slamming through my body. Gooseflesh dotted her skin, begging me for more, and I could only watch her pink lips part on a gasp as my finger slid deep. Bella's back was arched up off the wall, and she was quite possibly the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. "Think I'm going to have you painted just like this … with my cock deep in that sweet body, fucking exquisite. Would you let me have this painted … with you just like this?"

"Are y-you serious?" She had this look of disbelief on her face, and I laughed in response. I stared at her hard for a long second, and her head dropped as a red tint filled her cheeks. "You are serious, aren't you?"

I eased my finger from her pussy and slid it around her clit, kissing along her jaw; I gruffly stated, "I don't fucking joke, woman. Plus, I'll be so deep you won't even know the artist exists. I'll be fucking that pussy so hard … fuck."

Growing impatient, I lifted my hand and licked my finger until all of her essence was cleaned from my skin. I released the hold I had on her wrists and smacked her hip. "Go bend over that sofa and lift that fucking skirt."

Bella only hesitated briefly before she crossed the room and followed my instructions with one minor flaw. She hadn't lifted her skirt. Unbuckling my belt, I came to stand behind her and dropped a stinging smack to her ass. "I said to pull up the fucking skirt, Bella. I want to see all that juiciness meant for only me."

She glanced over her shoulder, and with a wiggle, she pulled the skirt up, giving me a full view of her ass and pussy. My mouth watered as I spotted the dew glistening from her delicate folds. I let my hand dig into my pants, and my fingers wound around my cock. Holding it in a tight grasp, I pumped once, then twice. "Open your legs, woman … spread them farther apart and play with that pussy for me."

"Edward." She hesitated. I could see the indecision on her face. She was caught between wanting to and embarrassed. "I don't … why?"

"Put your fingers in your pussy, Bella." I growled, biting my lip so hard pain ripped through my jaw. Roughly, I pushed her knees farther apart, and I watched with growing hunger as her hand slipped between her legs. Bella rolled her clit between her fingers before letting one tip toy with her entrance. When she moaned, my hand tightened around my cock, drawing on the hard flesh until I felt like my spine might snap. When her finger penetrated her entrance, I could no longer bear the sight, dropping to my knees behind her. "Keep fingering yourself, Bella … My tongue will help you …"

She watched over her shoulder as I leaned in. While her fingers were deep in her tight channel, I tongued her entrance, darting inside to join her play. Her hips writhed, shoving her ass into my face, and her cries echoed through the living space. I pulled my cock from my pants and pulled on the shaft as I let my tongue find her puckered hole. Darting my tongue deep into her, I enjoyed feeling her clamp around the tip. Withdrawing, I murmured against her ass, "One day … I'm going to fuck that ass … promise you that … driving me fucking crazy."

The words barely left my lips before I returned to the feast lying before me. Eager to feel her pussy, I pulled her fingers free and replaced them with my own as I fucked my hand. Thrusting my fingers deep, I licked her until she begged me to fuck her.

"Please, I can't take anymore … I need you … please, right now."

Lapping at her pussy and giving her puckered hole one more stab of my slobbery tongue, I staggered to my feet. "Bella … are you on the pill? Geez … please tell me you're on the pill … don't want anything between that pussy and my cock."

"I-I got on the pill after …" she breathlessly explained just before I gripped her hips with bruising fingertips and pulled her back toward me.

"All I needed to know, woman," I told her, placing my cock at her entrance. "I'm going to be so deep you'll feel me for fucking days."

Roughly, my hand found her neck, and my fingers tightened as my dick slid deep into her pussy. "Ahhhhh … fuck … so fucking good. Grip those cushions; this is about to get out of control."

As I spoke, her knuckles turned white as her fingers curled into the cushions. My fingers tightened around her neck, closing off her breath before releasing her, my balls drawing tight as her muscles tensed around me. "Fuck my cock, dirty girl … Gotta get out of these clothes."

She grinned over her shoulder as her hips rotated before pulling forward to sink back against me. As pleasure rippled through my body, her motions increased until she was riding my cock with abandon, the sound of slapping skin ringing in my ears. One hand refused to release her hip, yet the other worked diligently to rip the T-shirt off my torso. Roughly, I shoved my jeans down my legs and stepped from the entrapping fabric. The entire time I disrobed, Bella worked my body until perspiration dotted my chest, covering my pecs and abs.

When the last article of clothing left my body, I returned my hold around her neck as I slammed hard into her from behind. Repeatedly, my grip tightened around her throat, cutting off her air before easing my hold, smacking her ass. I chuckled as her pussy clenched around my cock. "Like it rough and dirty, huh? One day, we're going to a toy store and have a fucking field day … would you like that? Playing with that pussy with a vibrator? Maybe buy a dildo and fucking your ass while I fuck your pussy with a toy."

"You are driving me crazy," she cried, biting into the cushion as I pounded into her body. She gasped as she released her hold on the couch to glare back at me. "Everything you fucking say is like an aphrodisiac … and it just makes me crave more … so much—much more …"

"Insatiable." I growled; thrusting deep inside her, I ground my cock to the root. Closing my fingers around her throat, I rocked into her as her channel clamped around me. Kneading the flesh of her buttocks, I licked a finger and probed at her ass. When she squirmed back against me, I entered her tight hole, spitting down on her creamy flesh. I used the saliva to create a lubricant.

Her spine arched, giving me full access to her behind as I fucked her pussy. When her body accepted the single digit without resistance, I added a second. "Oh, fuck … My balls feel like they're going to explode … reach down here and pet them for me …"

Bella was a pool of melted muscle as she gave in to my request. Roughly, she rolled my testicles in her palm as I plunged over and over into her sweet flesh. Her ass was tight around my fingers, and her pussy sucked my cock into her channel when I felt her erupt around me. As she dissolved into the cushions beneath her, I never relinquished my control, rapidly pounding into her until the crown of my cock swelled, and with one deep thrust, cum filled her tight passage. "Holy shit, woman … Gonna fucking kill me."

I fell against her in an exhausted heap. Licking her naked back, I finally gathered enough strength to pull away from her. Picking her up in my arms, I headed toward the bedroom as her head lolled against my shoulder. I kissed the tip of her nose as I laid her across the comforter. I brushed her hair back from her face as I studied her.

She'd pissed me off to no end when she related her discovery to me. It was the type of pissed off I didn't think I was capable of coming back from, and yet … Bella had deflated my desire to keep these secrets buried inside me.

Lightly, I pulled her against my chest. I laid there spooning her as I pet her smooth skin. Tracing her ribs, I started from the beginning. "When I was seven … my dad … my fucking dad got into some trouble with the wrong people. He borrowed a bunch of money he couldn't ever payback."

As I spoke, my mind drifted to that time and place, and it was only the feel of Bella's warm body against mine that kept me grounded. Petting her belly, I continued. "I knew something was wrong … my mom and dad were always arguing about money, but being a child … I had no idea the severity of the issue. Then, one day, these people showed up at our house."

Bella's form stiffened against my chest, and her fingers curled with mine, resting on her abdomen. "I tried to fight them, but I was just a kid … didn't have a chance. They put my parents on their knees and took out their guns. They shot my mom first … just so my dad could watch her die … which meant I also had to watch her die."

"Edward, I …"

Before she could continue, I whispered, "Shhhh … You wanted to know me … so let me tell you. When my mother died, everything in me went with her … everything. Never felt a damn thing after that. Then you showed up on my doorstep and fucked up my entire world as I'd come to know it. Nothing has been the same since."

There was only one more secret standing between Bella and me. Feeling a deeper connection to her than I'd ever felt, I kissed her shoulder. I sucked the salt off her skin, bracing myself as I contemplated filling her in with the rest of the sordid details of my life. "Bella … you wanted to know me …"

My arm tightened around her waist, knowing before the words left my lips what her reaction would be, yet I felt compelled to say it. With a heavy sigh, I whispered against her shoulder. "I-I do hits … dirty jobs no one else would or could do."

"What does that mean, Edward?"

Her entire body went as stiff as a statue. Swallowing tightly, I finished what I started, "I'm a hitman."

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A/N: Dun-dun-dun! Alright so he finally dropped the bomb to her. How do y'all think she will react? As always let us know your thoughts, concerns, queries, anything. Hit us with it all. Thanks again for all your reviews. Until Monday lovelies!