Ander went after Lucrecia and Nadia stayed in with Omar. She wanted to go after her, but boys stopped her.
''Let Ander go. She is angry at you and you are still fired up about the argument you have. I am afraid you will say something even more wrong of you both don't cool off.''
Nadia just nodded and went back to sit with Omar.
''I shouldn't have mentioned her parents.''
''I don't know what happened between them. I will not ask, but I think you went there because you were hurt by things she was saying… By her questioning your decision and our parents in a way forcing you to make it.''
''She doesn't understand.''
''And that's ok. I don't understand and I was raised by the same people in the same culture.''
''You also think I am wrong?''
''No, I don't think you are wrong if that is what YOU want. I believe you are mature enough to make that choice and if Naim is the choice you are making, I am all for it. But just as long as it is what you want and not something that you are doing for our parents. You don't have to make that sacrifice. If you say no, they will survive. They survived me being gay, why wouldn't they survive you saying no to the wedding and being happy with Guzman.''
''Because I can't let them down! I can't be another daughter that failed them.''
''Whatever happened before…It's not your fault. You are not responsible for what I did and what she did.''
''Maybe, but you failing them put too much weight on me. I am now supposed to make all their dreams come true.''
''And what about your dreams Nadia? Are they worth it?''
With that he left Nadia and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She had a lot to think about and he knew she needed space to make best possible decision for herself.
Ander reached Lucrecia just as she was leaving the building. He took her hand and stopped her from running from him.
''I am coming with you. We don't have to talk, just let me be there.''
She wanted to send him away, but she didn't. As much as she needed to be alone, she also needed someone. She just nodded and they went for a walk. They found a small park close to the building and took a seat on the bench. Lucrecia just looked at one spot and tried to stop herself from crying. Ander saw it and came close to her ready to hold her. He took her into his arms and she finally started crying. He let her cry and didn't say anything. When she was done she moved away from him and just stared at the stain she made on his shirt.
''I am sorry… I ruined your shirt.''
''Don't worry. I am dating Omar, he cries all the time… This is nothing new.''
She laughed at that comment. Both of them knew it was just to make her laugh for a moment.
''Lu, I don't know what happened between you and your parents, but… If you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. And you know that whatever you say will stay a secret. I will not tell anyone.''
''I know… And thank you.''
He just gave her a smile and put his hand on her shoulder.
''I was sure I was over it. It has been almost five years…and here I am crying again over my parents.''
She looked at Ander.
''How can I miss someone who was never actually there for me? How can I miss parents that gave up on be long before they disinherited me and all?''
''I guess it's because no matter what, they are our parents. Look at me and my dad. We are not getting along well, but he is still my dad and I miss him sometimes.''
''The irony of my life is I lost my parents after I told the truth… I told my father the truth about something and got punished for it.''
''Why? What got him so angry?''
Lucrecia was silent for a moment…
''The fact that I am not perfect and that I am not his little girl… He was so absent from my life that he never realized I grew up… I changed… My wishes and desires changed.''
Ander just sat there and listened to Lucrecia. He believed it was the first time she dared to be honest about her feelings in years. A lot of things remained bottled up inside of her.
''Do you want to have a drink Ander? I don't think I can really talk about all this sober.''
''Lead the way boss.''
They went to the first bar they found and ordered ten shots of tequila, to be exact, Lucrecia ordered for them. Ander knew she would drink him under the table and he silently prayed that they would make it home without any injuries. Ander had three shots and Lucrecia was almost done with five of her. When she noticed he was slow in drinking his, she took the remaining two from him.
''I lost my virginity at the age of fourteen. Actually, it was my birthday…''
''Ok, I didn't expect conversation to go there.''
''It was all sex was supposed to be… It was gentle, it was hot and forbidden on so many levels… It was my best kept secret.''
''Why was it forbidden? Because you were fourteen?''
Lucrecia ordered more shots. Ander took one of his from her and started drinking.
''No, because it was with Valerio….''
After hearing what she said, he choked on his drink.
''What?! What did you just say?! You had sex with Valerio? Our Valerio? Your brother?''
''Half brother.''
Their drinks came and both had few shots in the row. Ander really needed to be drunk for this conversation. Lucrecia slept with Valerio…who is her brother…half brother…and they had sex… and they are related… He wished for a moment that his father was there to hear this… After this, having a gay son would be amazing. Hell, he might even be proud of it.
''I was hoping you would say it was some random bad boy that has the same name…''
''No, it was him… Valerio Montesinos Hendrich , in all his sixteen year old glory. God, how sexy he was!''
''I am not sure I want to know that.''
Lucrecia rolled her eyes at him.
''Come on! We both know he is sexy. There is that bad boy vibe he has and I am pretty sure it is something you noticed too. Maybe not enough to get you into many compromised positions with him, but you noticed it.''
''Fine! I am saying this only because you got me drunk… There is something about him… And that's all I am saying.''
''Thank you! And how could I resist him?! He was God given gift to me… Maybe the only good thing that ever came from my father was him and us sneaking around.''
''How long did it last?''
''Two years… Every time he was there…''
''When you were with Guzman?''
''Especially then… Guzman never wanted it to be official…and after that he fell in love with Nadia… I had Valerio to fill that gap of love and honest feelings since Guzman was such a lowlife when it came to our relationship.''
''I remember.''
''So, I had Guzman in public. People knew we were seeing each other, our parents were happy, we were miserable and I had someone to have sex with…and itch I had to scratch… There were no emotions in that relationship, no matter how much I wanted it and I wanted to believe there were. He hurt me and made me feel so bad about myself…''
''And Valerio?''
Lucrecia smiled…
''Valerio… Don't get me wrong… We had moments that were purely wild and animalistic… We broke the bed few times…''
Ander just stared at her in awe. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He took another shot and Lucrecia continued talking.
''But then…there were moments when he was so gentle… so amazing and he made me feel things… With Guzman, I never felt like I was the only one… even when there was no one else. And with Valerio… I knew there were other girls… I was never jealous of them because I knew I was the only one for him… Even when he wanted me to believe I was not… You know that… You feel that in a touch and a kiss of a person… He knows me better than I know myself…and I know him and his body as a know my own… I can still tell you how he smells in the morning and how he gets goosebumps when he feels me near… It happens to me too.''
All the talk about Lucrecia and Valerio got Ander pretty shocked and turned on in a way he was not sure that is right.
''So, all this time you were with both of them.''
''Yes… I was with Guzman for so many wrong reasons…''
''And Valerio…? How was that right in your mind? I am not judging…it's just something new and unusual for me.''
''He is hot…''
''Not a reason enough…''
''He is good in bed.''
''I never slept with him. I have to take your word on it…Or Rebeca's…''
He mumbled the last part hoping that Lu didn't hear him.
''How many girls do you know that can say they enjoyed their first time having sex and having an orgasm second time they have sex in their life?''
''I am not sure I am an expert on anything related to sex with girls.''
''Point taken… Well, let's say he is THAT good.''
Lu just winked at him and Ander understood. Next thing he remembered was Lucrecia talking about how Guzman was not that interesting as a lover that that the best times they had were when they had sex in the school shower. She said that he was more adventurous when they were in public places than when they were at either of their homes. Ander was pretty sure he didn't want to know that much about his friend and he learned that drunk Lucrecia tends to overshare… Ander interrupted her rant with a simple question that got her surprised and confused for a moment.
''You still love him?''
''Guzman? God, no!''
''No, Valerio.''
Lucrecia was silent. She was thinking about the answer she would give. Even drunk, she measured her words when it came to him.
''I don't know how to explain it. I haven't seen him in years…''
She was close to crying again…
''And I feel like there is huge part of me missing… Like I am not complete… And I hate that feeling Ander… I hate feeling like I am damaged… Maybe I am in a way… But next to him, I don't feel that. I don't feel that abandoned, forgotten, worthless, invisible… He made me feel seen…and I saw him for who he was.''
She started playing with a ring on her finger. Even after all these years in the States Valerio's ring never left her finger.
''I have peace of him with me here… His ring… my tattoos, pictures, notes…''
''Tattoos?''
''Yes, flowers on my wrist are dahlias and bellflowers that make shape of letter V, then I have tattoo of a kiss on my back… and the funny story is that it was actually his kiss. He had a friend who did our tattoos in Santiago… He somehow retraced perfectly Valerio's kiss on my back… It's his favorite spot…along with the bottom of my back…but there I have another tattoo…''
''And what is there?''
''Would you love me for me?''
''What does that mean?''
''It's Joker and Harley Quin reference… We love the comics. Don't tell anyone… I wouldn't be able to live if anyone knew how big nerd I actually am.''
She winked at him and Ander laughed. She wouldn't mind people knowing about her and Valerio, but knowing about comics would destroy her reputation? Wow!
''You are weird…''
''I know…''
''Is that all?''
''No, there is one more… On my ribs…''
''And what is that?''
'' It says nunca ames a alguien que te haga sentir ordinario and it is in his handwriting…. That is the matching one we have….''
''When did you do it?''
''When I came here and he did his few days after me… He sent me a picture of it…before I even told him I did mine… He was surprised and smug about my tattoo.''
''I can imagine.''
''He is pain in the ass.''
''I agree…''
Ander checked the time and noticed that the bar was almost empty.
''I think it's time to go home.''
''I don't want to…''
''I know, but we must. Omar has been texting for an hour now and I think he is worried about us.''
''Ok, fine… let's go.''
Lu covered the bill. She didn't let Ander pay for it.
''It's on me… You had to sit and listen to me talk all sorts of crazy things. You deserve this.''
''You did say some surprising things.''
''I bet you never imagined any of this.''
''I agree…''
They came home and Omar was waiting for them. He was a bit angry they were drunk, but he didn't say anything. He remembered that maybe Lucrecia needed it after what Nadia said.
''I'm glad you are back. Now we can all go to sleep.''
Lucrecia turned to Ander and hugged him.
''Thank you for tonight.''
''Thank you too.''
''I am off to bed. I think I need to sleep this tequila off.''
''Yes, you do Lu.''
When she got into her room, Nadia was sitting in bed waiting for her. Both of them were silent and had no idea what to say to each other. Lucrecia took off her clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. When she came back she let her hair down and started brushing it. She saw Nadia in the mirror fighting to say something.
''I am sorry Lucrecia. I shouldn't have said what I said.''
''I am sorry too… It's your decision and I will not get involved in it.''
She got under covers and turned off the lights. She was close to falling asleep when she heard Nadia speak again.
''It hurts so much, but I have to do it… Please, don't make it any harder.''
''If that is what you wish, I am there for you.''
''Thank you Lu.''
''You are welcome.''
Nadim and Nadia got married a week later at the courthouse. She was in a simple white dress with a red belt and her hair was up and covered with thin veil. She looked elegant and very beautiful. Lucrecia was her maid of honor and Nadim's friend from the hospital was his. After the ceremony, they went to the restaurant for lunch and that was it. Nadia went back home with Lucrecia and her family and her husband went to his house. They agreed to start living together after the religious ceremony. There was a ceremony in the Mosque few days later where the marriage contract was signed. It was important to their families for religious ceremony to take place too. Parents never questioned importance of the legal marriage in the court, but to them blessing from the God was something that their children had to have. Nadia's dress was red and embroider was with different patterns. Her mother gave her necklace she had at her own wedding and veil she had when she married Nadia's father. It was first time for Lucrecia to witness this sort of weddings. Nadia helped her pick what to wear and showed her how to wear the hijab. She was in a deep cherry color dress and her hijab was the same color. Nadia's mother explained to her that men and women are separated and Mosque and gave her instructions on what to do and how to behave during the ceremony. Celebration was made in a small Moroccan restaurant close by and there were more friends and family members of the groom than Nadia's. She met his siblings and she could see how different her husband was from them. His brothers were serious, more traditional looking and his sister was also one of very traditional women. She was surprised when she heard her brother say that it's up to Nadia to choose if she wants to work and if she wants to cover her herself. He said that he is the husband, not the owner of her life and that whatever she thinks is right he will support.
After the party was over, Lucrecia came back to the apartment with Nadia's family and Nadia went home with her new husband. She had three more days until her flight home. Apartment was pretty much cleared out. Only things that remained were what she was taking home and some of Nadia's things. They agreed that Nadia would return the keys in the afternoon of Lucrecia's departure. Few nights more and she would be home… she would be with Valerio… They haven't really spoken of what would happen when she comes back, but it was clear that something would. He was taking her to his apartment… She knew that place had only one bedroom and she was pretty sure they would share and she wouldn't let him leave the apartment for three days at least after she comes back. Smirk on her face grew after he phone beeped and she saw a message from him.
V: Three more days my queen…
L: It's too long…
V: I can change your flight for tomorrow… I am just one click away from it.
L: Do it…
Few moments later she got a new text.
V: Be at five at the airport…
L: This is madness…
V: Hurry up home to me.
She jumped from her bed and threw things into her suitcase. Now she was glad she left very few things in the apartment and most of her things was on the way to Spain or already there. She put on her jeans, sneakers and favorite cardigan. She didn't care about her messy bun or make up free face. She was woman on a mission. She left short note to the boys that she will see them in Spain and she texted Nadia that she loves her. She rolled her luggage out of the apartment and got into her taxi. She had huge smile on her face… She was going home… Next time she goes to bed…she will be wrapped up in the pair of arms she missed the most.