Ch.13
"I already told you and my parents, I really dont want to go to this party." Payson whined.
"And that is why you really need to go to this party." Kelly replied unpacking a slew of makeup and hair products from her bag.
The two girls had reconciled the day after Christmas. Kelly sent a text apologizing for how she left and Payson responded that there was nothing to apologize for, she knew how hard it was to watch things happening for others when you want them for yourself, even if that person is a friend. That was all that had been said on the matter, and then Kelly called her this morning to remind her of the party later that evening.
Payson had decided not to go, but Kelly wouldn't hear of it, saying they deserved a night completly devoted to fun. Now she was standing in her room holding a curling iron in her right hand in a semi threatning manner.
"But everyone will be there... he will be there, and I dont think I'm ready to face him. I just want to lay here in my bed until my flight leaves tomorrow."
"Get your ass up and stop moping. Sasha Belov is not the only man in the world. We are going to this party and we are going to have fun." She grabbed Payson's arm and pulled her out of the bed.
"Let me dress you."
"I'm not a doll, and the last time you dressed me for a party I ended up sleeping with Sasha."
"Corrolation does not imply causation. You did that all on your own. Don't blame my dress, my poor defiled dress." Kelly shook her head in mock sadness. "Get him out of your head. Tonight is about the new year and starting over and all that jazz. Tonight we are going to find you a sexy palette cleanser."
Payson wrinkled her brow. "You mean like sorbet?"
Kelly smiled."Exactly like sorbet. You need some sexual sorbet."
"You are ridiculous."
"That's why you love me." Kelly winked. "Now tell your little sister to get out of the bathroom so you can get ready."
"We probably should have one this at your house."
"Next time." Kelly pasted a hollow smile on her face. She breifly considered telling Payson about her knew living arrangments but quickly decided against it. There was just to much to explain.
Living with Austin wasnt as strange as she had initially thought it would be, over the past week they had grown somewhat accousomed to one another. There had been an initial learning curve but for the most part they worked well together. Three days ago she had discovered a library, Austin said it came with the house, already stocked. Since then, she'd spent her evenings curled up next to the fire reading, Austin had joined her on the second night and it had become their after dinner ritual. They didnt really talk during those times, it was just nice to have someone to sit with you.
Getting ready for the party didnt take that long, but they were the last ones to leave the house. Unlike Kelly, Payson decided to forgo a party dress this time and chose a pair of slim fitting black pants with riding boots, and a silky cream blouse. She twisted her hair up and Kelly added some jewelry. Around ten o'clock they were stepping out of Payson's new car headed to the front door of the Tanner residence. Warmth and the smell of holly greeted them as they handed over their coats to Consuela. The party appeared to be in full swing. Lauren was in the middle of the dance floor clinging to Carter, and the adults were enjoying themselves just as much. A group of Rock parents were standing around in a circle as Steve, with Summer by his side, regailed them with what appeared to be a very animated retelling of a case he had just won.
Emily found them first. "Hey you guys. I'm so glad you are here." She hugged them both, "Payson, Kaylie has been dying to see you. She is back here." She grabbed Payson's hand and led her further into the house. Kelly followed them at a slower pace. She stopped short when the reached a small alcove where two people were sitting. She'd stopped so suddenly because Kaylie was not alone. In fact she was practcally sitting on top of Austin, the two of them looked extremely cozy sandwiched together in the tight spot. Austin hadn't mentioned Kaylie since that day in the coffee shop and Kelly wanted to kick herself for forgetting, for however brief a time, that her roommate belonged to someone else. His eyes widened a bit when he saw Kelly they hadn't discussed how to deal with the outside world, in regars to their new living situation, so he was a bit nervous. She averted her eyes from his, and looked back to where Payson and Kaylie were hugging. After a short moment of surprise at seeing her with Payson, Kaylie leaned over to hug her as well. The sentiment was nice, but it rang false.
Lauren chose that moment to make her appearance, and Kelly began looking around the smiling group for an exit strategy. "You weren't invited Parker."
"Well it's not a party until somebody crashes." Kelly grabbed a glass from one of the roaming waiters and downed it in one gulp. It was going to be a long night.
Lauren opened her mouth no doubt to retort with something nasty, when Austin interrupted. ''So Kaylie has good news."
The group turned and looked expectantly, "I have been cleared to come back. I start training next Monday. I mean I've been conditioning with my dad and stuff at our gym at home, but I actually get to come back to the Rock on Monday.''
The group sans Kelly descended on her with squeals of joy. She didn't understand how they could be so happy that was one more person they now had to beat. She searched the immediate area with her eyes, and waved over another waiter, the glasses held watered down champagne. She raised it in a mock toast when the girls turned their attention back to her. Lauren looked smug and Payson looked slightly concerned.
Emily was the first to speak, ''That's a week before the national team practice. Are you going to try for the meet in Greece?" The concern evident in her voice. Finally someone who was thinking along the same lines as Kelly. Kaylie might have fallen, and she might not have made the Worlds team as a result, but she was the reigning National Champion, and therefore still a member of the National Team, and eligible to compete. If she was back, the commitee would take notice. There were only so many spots.
''No my focus is to get back in shape for Nationals I have a title to defend, and a World Champion to dethrone.'' She smirked good naturedly at Kelly and Payson.
''You can try.'' Payson answered for them both. She appeared genuinely happy to have Kaylie back, but Payson was just...good like that. She would never want to win at someone else's expense especially a friend.
Lauren joined them putting her arms around Kaylie and Payson. ''Its so nice to have the whole gang back together. The triple threat is back in effect...I'm sorry Em I mean the four musketeers after all you are a part of us will stop other people from trying to weasel their way into our group." She looked pointedly at Kelly. Her smile was all condesencion and fakeness. She was on Kaylie's side as long as it didn't effect her own standing. The minute it did, she would be the first one to try and take her down, by any means necessary. The hypocrisy of it all irked Kelly. Why play nice when you are prepared to fight dirty?
"On that note Kelly and I are going to go say hello to everyone else," Payson said. Moving away from Lauren and reaching out taking the other girl's arm. It was obvious that things were about to get nasty between her and Lauren, and they really didn't need a scene. They headed back towards the common area of the house.
"Let's dance." Kelly said as they made their way into the living room.
"No way K.P., you know I don't dance. Plus I've seen you dance, you don't dance either."
"We do tonight sweet cheeks, follow my lead." She seized Paysons hand and manuvered them to the center of the floor. The dance floor and decent musical selections were this party's only redeeming qualities in Kelly's eyes. She'd thought it was going to be a stuffy adult affair but it was actually rather lively. She wondered if maybe Lauren hired people to act as party guests, there was no way she knew this many people their age. She turned back to payson who was standing rather uncomfortably instead of dancing. "C'mon, it's almost a new year. Let's do something crazy, no regrets, live a little, seize the day. Take your pick of cliches, and act on one of them." She lifted Paysons arm and spun her around. "Personally I choose no regrets." She snagged another glass from a passing waiter.
"Keep that up, and you will regret the headache in the morning."
"I regret nothing." Kelly shouted over the music spinning in a circle with her arms raised.
Payson laughed at her friends exhuberance. They danced along with the music for awhile, with Kelly announcing that every song they played was her favorite song.
"You ladies seem to be having fun."
"Nicky!" Kelly greeted him. Nicky looked slightly confused by her happiness to see him."Look P.K., Nicky is here! Nicky, Payson is here."
"I see you're having a good time Kelly."
"I am, surprisingly, but I think I need something to drink. Why don't you keep Payson company." She smirked mischieviously.
"I'll go with you-"
"No no no, Nicky is here now. It would be rude to leave."
She leaned close to Paysons ear."There are more fish in the sea."
Stepping back she said to Nicky, "I leave her in your most capable hands, take care of my girl show her a good time." With that she flounced off towards the double doors leading to the patio.
Once she was outside she leaned against the cold bricks and allowed her smile to falter, pretending to be happy was alot of work. She knew Payson was faking it too, but she didnt want to be the first one to let the mask fall. It was 11:35, another hour or so, and they would be able to leave without drawing attention.
"I've been looking for you."
She groaned out loud. Would the torture never end. "Well you found me." She deadpanned.
"I just wanted to tell you that nothing has changed."
"So you mean I won't have to hide in the basement whenever Pinky comes over to spend quality time with you. What a relief." She still hadn't opened her eyes or changed her tone.
"That's not funny."
"Wasn't meant to be. You're back together now, and from the paniced look you sent me earlier, I assume you didn't tell her you had a new roommate." She wasn't sure where her anger was coming from, she'd already had this conversation with herself multiple times. Austin always had been, and always would be off limits. He never led her on or gave any indication that they were anything other than friends. If he was a doll he would be Friend Zone Austin, sold complete with a vintage motorcyle, and a hotter than you girlfriend.
"Nothing has changed. I still want you there when I get home everyday." Ah, there it was, this is how the lines grew so blurry. She chanced a glance up at him, his voice had been honest and his face was even more earnest. It made it complicated when he said things like that, or put her to bed after she fell asleep in the library. More so when they shared the paper over breakfast, or made a grocery list together, in those moments of simple domesticity she lost herself, even if only for a little while. But tonight had brought her crashing back into reality. Those moments weren't real for him, he probably thought of her a sister or even worse some sort of pet. It wasn't his fault that she was vulnerable and needy right now.
She pushed off the wall, "Don't worry I won't overstay my welcome." She walked off quickly to the other side of the house before he could stop her with more pretty words containing empty promises.
"Hope you weren't too uncomfortable in there Sasha. I know you and Sunmmer ended things on a rather ambiguous note. I'm sure you have noticed that we are back together, and happier than ever."
"Congratulations Steve." He coach's voice was ice cold, and Kelly peeked further around the corner, if Steve Tanner was about to get punched she wanted to see it. Sasha's face was stony and his eyes were flashing fire, but Steve Tanner pressed on anyway.
"Thank you." His grin was smarmy and he turned back towards the doors as if headed back inside. Before he got there he pivoted and spoke again, " I just wanted to say that you have been doing a phenomenal job with Lauren. I think she might like you more than me right now. I knew you would do well here at the Rock. Finding you was one of the best things I ever did, well other than asking Summer to marry me." He walked back and handed Sasha his glass, "This is the good stuff, consider it a consolation prize." He smirked one last time, "You take care Sasha, oh and uh, Happy New Year."
"I know you're there." Sasha said as he took a seat on a bench facing the door Steve had just closed.
Kelly contemplated turning around, but then as the saying goes misery loves company, and Sasha did look pretty damn miserable. She walked over and joined him on the bench.
"Men suck."
Sasha scoffed.
"Well sketchy Steve and asshole Austin at least. You're not so bad."
"Trying to make me feel better?" He took a deep swig from the glass and exhaled loudly.
"I wouldn't drink that if I were you. It's probably poisoned."
"There is no need."
"Your funeral. So, sleep with my friend to get over being dumped by your girlfriend?"
Sasha spat out the drink that he had just taken and started coughing violently. When he finally regained control of himself he turned and glared at her coldly. The effect was somewhat ruined by the lingering redness in his face from the coughing spell. "You should really learn how to use that filter between your mouth and your brain."
Kelly stared back at him steadily. He looked away first.
"You have no idea what you are talking about."
"I know my friend is hurting, and I know you did it."
He didn't meet her eye when he spoke. "Well she isn't the only one, and no Payson had nothing to do with Summer."
"Good."
They sat in silence for a minute, before he spoke again. "Payson is lucky to have you. I have noticed not just tonight that you bring out the best in each other."
Kelly smiled. He was right about that. "Thanks Coach."
She was about to say something else when the noise from inside cut her off. They both turned towards the large window.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!"
They both looked at everyone smiling inside, most people were paired off. Kelly was having a hard time deciding which couple was assaulting her eyes the most. She came across Steve and Summer first; boring. Next to them, Chloe Kmetko was slobbering on Alex Cruz that was mildly interesting, and more than vaguely disturbing. Lauren and Carter were in a corner, and the sight made her grimace. The next couple she spotted turned her grimace into a wry smile. Payson and Nicky, she was smiling broadly, while he planted an awkward kiss on her cheek. She chanced a glance at the man next to her, but his face was stoic, unreadable. She had a feeling he had just witnessed the same thing she had, she looked back to her friend only to find that her view was impeded by two brunettes locked in a passionate embrace. The taller of the two raised his head; Austin. She felt her heart clench. Damnit she had already had this conversation with herself, she knew this day was coming. It had been inevitable, but it still hurt to have it thrown in her face though. She instantly regretted not bringing her own car, all she wanted was to get out of there. She needed to find Payson. She looked back to where she had seen her friend but she was gone. She turned to ask Sasha if he had seen which way she went but he was gone too.
Payson excused herself from Nicky. She had to find Sasha. The look on his face through the window made her feel sick. It was a mixture of hurt and resignation. She knew she should have stayed at home, coming to this party had bad idea written all over it. The sad thing was she had been having fun, right up until she saw Sasha. Kaylie's news had lifted her spirits immensely, Kelly's vivaciousness was contagious, and Nicky's unassuming prescence was comforting.
She walked quickly searching through the dense sea of people for a tall blonde. When she couldn't find him she walked outside to catch her breath. She looked up when she heard an engine roar to life. A large silver truck was trying to manuvere around two smaller cars that had it blocked in the driveway. She ran over to it and knocked on the window.
"Sasha wait."
He didnt acknowledge that he heard her at all. He reversed again and turned the wheel.
She stood back and crossed her arms. " It's not going to work," she called out loudly.
He hit the steering wheel in frustration before turning off the car and climbing out. He walked right past her, and she had to all but run to catch up to his much longer and faster strides.
"Wait, please can we talk?"
He kept walking until she grabbed his arm. He snatched it away roughly. and immediatly regretted it as a look of hurt crossed her face.
"Why are you so angry with me?" Her voice had a pleading edge to it.
"I'm not. Go back inside." His voice was gruff.
"It didnt mean anything, I swear. It was a mistake, and it will never happen again."
"It's fine Payson."
"No it's not and I'm sorry. I should have stopped him."
He looked down at her. She was stunning, tonight. It amazed him that one person could be so naturally beautiful. He focused on her eyes, there was so much depth to them. A myriad of shades of blue, grey and green, the kind of eyes that could make a man willingly surrender his soul. Eyes were pleading for him to believe her, begging for his forgivness. This was the problem, she hadn't done anything wrong. He had seen the boy kiss her it was sweet and innocent. There was no fault on either side. While it drove him spare with jealousy, she was doing exactly what a seventeen year old girl should be doing at a New Years Eve party. The problem was she felt as though she had to justify it to him. She felt as though she owed him something, when he had already ruined her life. He didn't want her to start feeling guilty about being normal. He owed her, not the other way around. He owed her the chance at a normal relationship. The relationship she would have had, had he not gotten in the way. A chance for her to experience a normal first love, the way it should be.
So he decided in that moment he would give it to her. She was so loyal to him, she would never give up this doomed farce on her own. She needed a push. It was something only he could give her. He would have to sever the tie completly, if he ever wanted her to have a chance to move on, and be normal. She would be hurt and their relationship would suffer, but she was so much like him he hoped she would let this fuel her gymnastics to be better.
The words he needed to say were stuck under the lump in his throat, but he pushed them out anyway. He silently thanked Kelly and Steve Tanner, for giving him something to work with, "I'm the one who is sorry. Earlier this evening, I realized that what happened with you was due to my sadness over losing Summer. Seeing her with Steve upset me. Honestly, I'm glad you have moved on, Russo is appropriate. It was foolish of both of us to think it was anything more than a mistake, a severe lapse in judgement on both sides. It didn't mean anything. I'm so sor-" His words were cut off by the slap. He should have expected that.
There were angry tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again but the second slap cut him off. That he was not expecting, but it was no less than what he deserved for doing this to her.
"You're a liar Sasha Belov. Stop lying."
"I wish I were lying, but I'm not." He kept his voice firm but soft. He looked at her steadily willing her to believe him.
"You're a liar and a coward. Stop lying!" She balled up her fists and stomped her foot to emphasize her point. Her words hurt him deeply, firstly because they were true, but most of all because he could see the doubt starting to form behind her eyes. She didn't want to believe him but she couldn't be sure, She was at the edge, and just needed a nudge either way. He could apologize, and admit he was scared and it was all lies. She might hit him again, but he knew she would forgive him. He opened his mouth.
"You're a child." Just saying the words made him feel sick to his stomach. She may not have been a legal adult, but he had never seen her as a child. "I may have forgotten it momentarily, but it is abundantly clear to me now, name calling and tantrums." He shook his head in a condescending manner. "You're a little girl, and I am in love with someone else."
He didn't see it coming this time. Her right hook knocked him off balance. "Go to hell."
The unmitigated pain she infused within those three words made him instinctivly reach for her. She recoiled from him as if he slapped her, and his hand dropped back to his side, usless. He had chosen, and now so had she. Payson stared at the ground, and when she looked back at him there was a hard, cold glint lighting the fire that was now swirling in her eyes. As she raised her chin, she somehow managed to look down her nose at him although he stood almost a foot taller than her. "Goodnight Coach Belov."
With that parting shot, she walked back to the house with all the grace of a queen. She didn't look back once.
Author's note:
Don't be too angry please. Sasha is a martyr of the highest caliber. He would fight this thing with Payson tooth and nail. Sorry it took so long but this chapter had to be cut down alot due to Austin and Kelly, there was alot more of their time together at the house, their special evenings in the library and a really cute (to me at least) grocery list scene. Sometimes I feel like they are taking over and this is first and foremost a Payson/Sasha story. If anyone would like some deleted scenes, though, I would be happy to put them up! Just let me know.
As always please follow, favorite, and review. Feedback is always helpful. Special thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review. Each and every single one of you means the world to me.