I met York in the entryway to the locker room and he walked with me along the halls, him joking I was walking even slower than usual. I smiled as we walked. It took nearly half an hour to get back to a part of the ship I recognised, though, I did wonder why he was taking me back to the mess.

''Post training snack,'' he told me, sitting me at the usual table and disappearing off. I suppose I was kinda hungry. I heard his footsteps coming back and a clatter of a tray being put down in front of me. He jumped into the spot beside me and there was some more clattering and some chewing noises.

''So how are you feeling now?'' he asked.

''Cold,'' I replied with a shrug, feeling out for the tray in front of me.

He took one of my wrists and led it towards a large coffee mug and I wrapped my cold fingers around it, sighing constantly as I felt the familiar burn. He dropped an arm around my shoulders when he was done too. I picked up my mug and blew on it for a few seconds and sipped the steaming liquid. I turned to give him a bemused smile.

''What's this?'' I asked.

''Did you forget I was a barista for years?'' he asked. ''After many years of experimenting, chocolate goes best with spices or mint. So, chilli. Not a fan?''

''No actually I just,'' I paused. ''Rosa used to make this when we were kids.''

''Who's Rosa?'' York asked.

''My best friend,'' I replied. ''We were friends at my first group home.''

''Was there more than one?'' he asked.

''Two,'' I said. ''There was an incident when I was six that meant I needed a new group home. This is a real blast, weird to think it's been twenty years since I had hot chocolate with chilli in it."

"What, you never make it yourself?" he asked and I shook my head.

"It was our thing, I figured I'd do it again when I saw her next," I explained. "But I never found her. I miss her sometimes. I never really made friends at my new group home. I just kept to myself, studying hard every day to get a job making robots, like I'd always wanted and then my side hobby was gymnastics because, even though it always reminded me of her, I liked it now for more than that.''

''And she's who you were thinking about earlier,'' he mused and I nodded.

''Hey Chi, you think you could find out what happened to her for me?'' I asked.

''Uh,'' he tried. ''It'll take some work. She was one person hundreds of years ago you only have a first name for but I'll try.''

''You've got my records don't you? Look for people named Rosa at the same group home as me,'' I said.

''Got it, I'll find her,'' he told me.

It got kinda late and I could hear the noise of the mess slowly taper off till it seemed like it was just the two of us. He took my hand eventually and led me out of the room. I felt kind of sad again, not wanting to stop being with him. He dropped me off at my room door and I went inside, dropping Chi down on the nightstand and climbing into bed. I sighed as I lay there, wondering just what was going on with my life right now.

Chi woke me up the next morning, that was unusual. I sat up, rubbing my face. I'd let my mind wander last night, thinking about anything and everything. Rosa, York, my vision, my job. Everything had been swirling around my head, refusing to settle down until I ran things through several times in several different ways.

''The Director's had the medical staff and other scientists start testing your designs,'' Chi told me and I nodded. ''That's good right? A little longer and we can schedule you for your own surgery. You'll be able to see again.''

''If it works,'' I grumbled.

''It'll work,'' he told me. ''We worked on it, it has to work.''

''Your unwavering faith is a little obnoxious this early in the morning,'' I told him and lay back down, throwing the blankets back over myself.

''It's nearly 11,'' Chi told me.

''Wake me for lunch,'' I hummed and settled myself on my pillow, ready to go back to sleep. I was seconds away from sweat slumber when I was jolted awake. There was a hammering on my bedroom door and the sound of yelling voices.

''Oh come ON!'' I growled and shot back up.

''Hey! Marisa come on, it's nearly 12,'' I heard York yell. I groaned and pushed myself up out of bed.

''Maybe she's not in there,'' Wash told him.

''Oh she's in there, she wasn't in her lab, the mess or in the training room. Only other place she could be was with the Director and I usually take her there,'' York said.

''What if she's lost,'' I heard Wash worriedly say and I opened the door.

''I'm not lost, I'm sleeping,'' I grumbled and I heard chuckling.

''You look cute when you're this mad, bedhead and all,'' York teased and I sighed, turning around to go lay back down.

''Come on, I haven't seen you in forever,'' Wash whined. ''I need backup against York and North.''

''No,'' I cried. ''I wanna sleep.''

''Why sleep when there's two attractive men at your door practically begging for you to come out?'' York asked.

''How do I know that? I'm blind,'' I said and then turned to where I'd left Chi. ''What do you think, are they cute?''

''Absolutely not,'' Chi replied. ''Also it's now lunchtime.''

''Fucking hell,'' I swored sitting up. ''Fine.''

I climbed out of bed, grabbed Chi and headed to where I'd left York and Wash, marching to the mess. I muttered under my breath the whole way, complaining about assholes not letting me sleep and made my way straight to the table, sitting down and finding North already sitting there. I jumped when I climbed into my chair and felt our knees brush, making him chuckle and calling me cute.

''What have you been up to, hair like that,'' he teased.

''Not sleeping, that's for sure,'' I grumbled, dropping my head on my arms.

''You still on that,'' York asked and stepped over the bench and plopped down beside me. ''Come on sleepyhead, it's 12pm, that's a perfectly reasonable time to be awake.''

''I stayed up late last night because my brain wouldn't shut up,'' I replied.

"Sleeping late is only going to make it worse," North told me and I think I rolled my eyes. "I know, it sounds stupid but you just gotta get up and carry on. Maybe go to bed earlier tonight."

"Yes dad," I replied and sighed into the arm I was leaning on. "Sorry, I'm just in a bit of a funk right now. I thought the time on the beam would ease that but apparently not."

"What's bothering you?" he asked.

"Yeah, maybe we could help," Wash said almost as enthusiastically as Chi would have.

''Thanks Wash but I don't think…'' I started but was cut off by the worried muttering of Chi. ''Chi?''

''Uh, it's fine, don't worry about it,'' he replied. I frowned.

''When has that ever worked?'' I asked and York chuckled beside me. ''Come on, you're my partner, what's going on?''

''They've finished testing,'' he told me and I chewed the inside of my mouth. ''Listen, it doesn't necessarily have to be bad news..''

''Come on,'' I said. ''They've only been testing and going over it for a couple of days, Chi. That's not good.''

''What's going on?'' Wash asked, I opened my mouth to answer when I heard Carolina's eerily quiet footsteps behind me and turned around.

''Have you eaten or drank anything today?'' she asked without greeting. I shook my head, I'd just been sitting beside the tray York had gotten me. ''Good, they're scheduling you for surgery. The Director's happy with the test results and wants it implante asap.''

''What?'' I stuttered as she leaned over and shoved my tray out of the way. She grabbed my forearm, yanking me out of my seat and over the bench. I panicked and made a grab for York who was beside me. ''It's too early…''

''He doesn't think so," she replied. ''As far as he's concerned, since the other scientists have all agreed it'll theoretically work, it's good enough to implant.''

''Right now?'' I asked, loosening my grip on York's shoulder. ''Chi?''

''Looks that way,'' he said, sounding like he was shrugging. ''Listen, we worked really hard on it, it's gonna work.''

''I wish I had your faith,'' I replied, biting my lip. I let go of York completely and let Carolina drag me off back to the infirmary with Chi under my arm.

I didn't wake up fully right away, I was aware my head ached and I felt sick to my stomach. So much so in fact, I was moments away from throwing up before I even opened my eyes. I groaned and heard movement beside me.

''Marisa,'' York said relieved.

''Something's wrong,'' I said.

''What?'' he asked worriedly, I tried to push myself up, feeling lightheaded. ''Marisa, open your eyes, look at me, tell me what's wrong.''

''York,'' I shook my head. I could feel it in the back of my head, it was overwhelming. It was too much, something was wrong. I felt the bile rise in the back of my throat. I leaned forward, holding my head in my hands. Something was wrong.

I tried opening my eyes, and I couldn't see. I could see, but I couldn't see. I was met with visions of grey and blurs, just shapes and flashes of light. I could catch movement but nothing of any use. I couldn't see, this hadn't worked. Something was wrong. I let out a choking sob. This was too much.

''Hey, hey, take it easy,'' he said. I could feel hands on my biceps, holding me gently and I knew they must be his but I couldn't concentrate enough to make the simple connection. I swallowed thickly trying desperately to hold on to the contents of my stomach. ''Marisa, tell me what's wrong.''

''Get a Doctor,'' I choked out. ''Fuck, York, it's too much.''

''What is, what's wrong?'' he asked. I felt one hand let me go and he shifted, I heard the sound of a siren blaring down the hall and then he bent down to hold me again.

''I can't..'' I shook my head. How could I explain this? Fuck, I didn't even know what was happening. Why can't I see? Why can I see what I can see? And why does it almost hurt? The movement in the back of my head, it was so intense, I shouldn't be able to feel it, should I? What the hell was happening? Why is my head throbbing? ''I don't know what's happening.''

''Marisa, baby, you're scaring me what do you mean you don't know what's happening? Are you in pain? Can't you see anything?'' he asked.

''I'm gonna be sick,'' I replied, ripping out of his grip to cover my mouth. I felt the rim of a kidney bowl against my chin and I let loose into it. ''Fuck,'' I groaned between regurgatations.

''Doc, you gotta help her, something's wrong,'' York said and I threw up into the bowl again. ''Maybe the pain medication wore off, she's not making a lotta sense.''

''Dr. Holtz, can you tell me what you're experiencing?'' the scottish Dr. I'd never bothered learning the name of, asked. I shook my head, god this was so much. I felt cold hands on my forehead, forcing my head up to look in her direction. I could see the outline of a figure, everything in a solid grey. I could see the movement but nothing else.

''It's like the video cable of a TV set is loose, everything is grey, I can't see anything,'' I choked out. ''I can feel it, in the back of my head. It's too much, it's so much. Make it stop, fuck.''

''I don't understand,'' the Dr. muttered. Oh that was great. ''Your surgery was a complete success and the implant went in faster than the last patient and they were granted complete return of vision as soon as they woke up.''

''It can't have been a complete success if I feel like this,'' I grunted. ''I'm not getting any real vision, I can't cope with this. I'm going to keep being sick. My head is pounding with the vibrations, I shouldn't be able to even feel it. Wait, what do you mean the last patient?''

''The team and I were discussing implanting a smaller device on an animal test subject if we could find the right one and what that right one would be when a wounded soldier came in. He had the exact injuries required for the test, damaged occipital lobe. He would have been cut from the program, lost his sight for the rest of his life, he was desperate. So we told him we had an experimental surgery, that it might not work, it had never been tested. He agreed and the surgery was a complete success, I don't understand what happened with you.''

''What do you mean you don't understand what happened?'' York demanded.

''It's possible your unsuccessful implantation is due to the amount of time you were unresponsive after the first surgery, the accident..'' the Dr started.

''Or,'' I said and paused to throw up. ''It might not work on everyone. It can't be a fix all for everything. There's just too much damage, I doubt the wounded soldier fell from a height as high as I did, waited as long as I did for surgery. Maybe it just can't work for me..''

''I'll meet with the other surgeons, discuss our options,'' the Dr stuttered softly.

''Marisa, I'm sorry,'' York said as I felt the tears tumble down my cheeks.

''It's over, I'm never gonna see again,'' I sniffed. York dropped an arm around my shoulders, rubbing my upper arm softly. I leaned into him as I choked on my sobs. It was over, I officially didn't know what to do.

I woke up and felt a lot less sick this time. I spent some time in recovery before I was back in my lab sulking. I hadn't really spent much time with my friends since the failed surgery. Everyone had been giving me space, except York. He tried, even when I flat out ignored him. He was a loyal seeing eye dog, I'd give him that.

''Hey, M,'' I heard him say, as he entered my lab. ''You coming to lunch today?''

I wanted to say no. But I couldn't hide from the team forever. Especially since I was supposed to be developing a device for the person with the wounded throat. I chewed my lip. I couldn't hide forever.

''Yeah,'' I croaked eventually. ''Yeah, let's go.''

I walked over to him and felt him put an arm around my shoulders, walking beside me as he led me to the mess. I sat down in my usual spot and he came back quickly with two trays. I picked at my food, sitting beside him as his arm returned.

''It's going to be okay,'' he told me. ''You'll figure something else out. I know you will, you returned sight to an officer who would otherwise be discharged, you can do the same for you. It's just going to take time. This is just a setback.''

''Logically, rationally, I know,'' I sighed. ''But it's a little different when you're your own patient.''

''I know,'' he told me. ''Tell me what you need from me, how can I help you.''

''I don't know,'' I replied.

''Hey you,'' I heard North sit across from me.

''Oh thank god you're back,'' Wash greeted. ''The bullying has only gotten worse since you left.''

''So it's been a crappy time all round, that's a comfort at least,'' I said.

''There's gotta be something we can do,'' Wash said. ''What about a stick?''

''Depends, can I hit you with it?'' I asked and I could feel him frowning. And then an idea sparked in my head. ''Actually, that might be the smartest thing you've ever said.'' I heard York and North snort, and Wash start complaining he's said lots of smart things.

''I've been counting steps this entire time, using muscle memory to get to places I've been to before, familiar sounds. But if I could design some sort of electronic cane, load it with the schematics of the ship, have it tell me where I'm going, like some kind of GPS. My hearing's pretty good now, have it alert me with a small sound if I get too close to a wall or something.. no I'm not thinking big enough. Also if I start sounding like a reversing van I might kill myself…''

''See there you go,'' York said. ''Although don't you have Chi for that?''

''I'd run it through him, if I could set up some kind of I don't know, gloves maybe? I don't wanna have to be carrying stuff around all the time. Oh, I could modify a pedometer or something, a wrist watch? Yeah, I'll have it set off a signal if I get too close to something or have to make a turn, get myself more mobile, then I'll have all the time in the world to figure out how to restore my sight,'' I grinned. ''Sometimes, my genius astounds me.''

''For me it's your humility,'' North remarked and I laughed for what must have been the first time in weeks.

''Where's Carolina, I want some time on the beam,'' I asked.

''I'll let her know,'' York told me. ''Go easy this time.''

''Yes Dad,'' I said, rolling my eyes.

When lunch finished I had York take me back to my lab to start work immediately on my watch idea and had it finished by the end of the day. Carolina came to collect me afterwards and she let me give it a test run, letting it lead me to the training room. She seemed pretty impressed at what I'd designed, even if the vibrations got a little annoying. I'd have to decrease the sensitivity, it was going off like a mother every time I stood too close to the bench or any time I touched the beam to do a handstand.

I was pretty excited though, I was so good on memory now with this beam I barely needed guidance from Chi. He cheered for me whenever I did anything particularly complicated, he was my own personal hype man. His hope always seemed to give me hope. I know he's an AI, but he almost felt like a real person sometimes. I trained for less time this time, Carolina escorted me to another ice bath anyway and told me York would be by to help me out. Remembering the significant drop made me glad, even though I had my watch now, I was grateful.

''Feeling any better?'' York asked, signalling my 15 minutes was up.

''Mostly cold,'' I smiled.

''Guess that means we're headed to the mess after this,'' he said. ''I see you've got your watch thing figured out.''

''Got here basically on my own today,'' I confirmed. I reached out to him and he lifted me over the edge of the tub and guided me to the bench where I could dry and dress myself while he waited outside.

We were halfway to the mess when I realised I'd joined hands with him as soon as I'd exited the locker room and had no plans to let go until I had to. There was something comforting about his large, warm hands holding mine. York had been a real friend to me since the very beginning for no reason, and, it kinda made me feel warm inside. We eventually did disconnect when we got to our table, and I smiled softly to myself when his footsteps disappeared. What I wouldn't give for this to be a regular thing.

''Hey Chi?'' I said.

''Yeah?'' he asked, sounding almost sleepily.

''Could you ask Carolina for more time in the training room, about the same time as often as possible?'' I said.

''Sure,'' he replied cheerily. ''I'm glad you've perked up.''

''Here,'' York said, handing me a steaming hot mug and sitting beside me, dropping an arm over my shoulder. I leaned into his hold, he always smelled good, I'd noticed since we'd started standing in closer proximity.

''What if I never see again?'' I asked.

''What are you talking about, you managed to help that officer, it's just going to take time,'' York said. I shook my head, shifting to lean forward and blow on my hot chocolate.

''Reality is setting in,'' I said. ''I've come forward in leaps and bounds in terms of what I'm capable of thanks to modern technology, I've pulled off the impossible for other people. But I'm not a miracle worker. I might never be able to do it. I might not get to see space, not get to see any of my projects at work, I'll never be able to see your face, never know what you look like. What am I supposed to do if I can't fix this.''

''You can see my face right now,'' he told me.

He took the mug from my hands and put it on the table in front of us. He grabbed my still burning palms and brought them towards him. Gently he placed his hands on his face. I was shaking, unable to move them, terrified because I couldn't see I was gonna take out an eye. I could feel his rhythmic breathing blowing soft breaths on the tips of my thumbs and over the back of my hands. His slight shifts in position as he tried to sit as still as possible.

''It's okay,'' he soothed. ''Look at me, see me.''

I pulled my hands back but not far enough that I lost contact completely. I felt his stubble scratching the tips of my fingers as I brushed them across his sharp jaw. I settled my right hand on his jaw and traced my left up the side of his head. I swiped my thumb across his forehead, feeling his brow, feeling him furrow it as I stayed there. I found the midpoint between his eyebrows, followed it down to see his broad nose. My thumbs met in the space between his nose and lips making circles before dragging down to rest on his chin.

''I don't know what any of that means,'' I breathed. ''I felt your face, I still don't have a clue what you look like.''

''Does it matter?'' he asked. ''Would how I looked change how you look at me? How you feel?''

''No,'' I shook my head. He took my right hand up the left side of his face, guiding it to his eye and letting my fingers sink softly into the raised skin. I frowned, pushing a little harder, moving my fingers around until I was sure I felt what I did. A scar, I realised.

''Then what does it matter if you're blind? If you can never see again?'' he asked as I clung to him. Left hand refusing to let go of his jaw and right hand resting softly on his scar. I felt his jaw clench and I swallowed thickly. I could feel everything, every expression, every movement he made when he changed how he was looking at me. I did see now, just with my hands. It's how I was able to type notes, to build things, to help people. I swallowed hard again, trying to fight the compulsion I was feeling right now.

I swung a leg over the side of the bench so my whole body was facing him. My heart beat a little faster. There was something, in the way it felt when his eyes were on me. The intimacy in the touch I was feeling right now. I hoped York couldn't feel how sweaty my palms were getting right now as I held him close. I couldn't fight it any longer.

I shifted up and forward and I felt him move down and towards me. His plump lips met mine and I kissed him, hard. Our mouths moved desperately against each others and I felt his arms wrap around me tightly. The hand he'd had on my shoulders was cradling my head and his other was supporting the small of my back as he lifted me closer. I could feel the breath from his nose coming out in hard bursts on my upper lip, my own nose brushing against his with each movement. To hell with not being able to see, I was fucking kissing York.

''Uh,'' I heard someone clear their throat. ''The mess is closing…''

I heard York make an annoyed noise and pulled back, shifting angrily toward the soldier who'd just interrupted. There was a squeaking of boots on the floor as he stumbled backwards.

''Sorry..'' he stuttered and I chuckled.

''It's alright,'' I told the two of them and there was the sound of hurried, almost running footsteps away. I laughed again, and I couldn't stop. Leaning forward I rested my head on York's chest as I tried to stanch my laughter.

''I'm glad you can find this funny, you know this is going to be all round the ship in like a day,'' York grumbled. ''We're gonna get so many stupid looks now.''

''Shouldn't have kissed me in the mess then,'' I shrugged, moving to get up. ''Anyway, I'm blind, what do I care about looks?''

''You kissed me!'' he exclaimed and I chuckled.

''Oh relax, I'm sure your threatening eye contact was enough to scare that guy into not saying anything for a while, I don't even need to see to know about that,'' I said and stood beside the bench. He got up and took my hand, leading me out of the mess.