ch 17.

"You were robbed." Kelly said to Emily as she slammed her glass of water down on the table.

"I did my best, but I was off on my beam, and my vault is nothing special."

"But your bars and floor were phenomenal, and lets be honest the only reason they are taking some girls just for one event. you are an all around contender, you should have been there. I'm still saying I could take out Lauren and make it an accident, just say the word."

"And I will be, cheering you guys on from the sidelines. Dont worry there will be other competitions and we still have another Nationals and Worlds, before the Olympics."

"Em is right, she's saving herself for the big comps." Payson smiled kindly at the other girl.

"Exactly." Emily sipped her water, it was all she'd ordered since she wouldnt be staying long. "So are you and Sasha ok now?"

Payson glass stopped midway to her mouth.

Kelly took that moment ot jump in, "Forget Sasha. Did you see how upset Beals was after the announcement, Classic."

Payson shot her a grateful look.

Emily smirked, "Puce is really her color."

They spent the next half hour laughing and planning things to do in Greece.

"Hate to eat and run, but I have to get to work."

"You're a World All Around bronze medalist, you should demand more money from the NGO, or get some sponsors. Gymnastics is your job now." Kelly said.

"I thought about it, but I'm keeping my options open for college."

"Ugh. You're so practical."

"Some of us have to be," she said standing up and putting on her jacket. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Once she was gone Kelly dropped the smile that had been pasted on her face.

"So how are you really doing?"

"It doesnt matter."

"It matters to me, how are you?" She reached across the table for the blonde girls hand.

Payson pulled away and leaned back in her chair, ''What do you want me to say? I love him, but I cant have him so I'm not going to waste my time pining. I did that already and look where it got me. So I'm taking his advice and yours and moving the hell on. I can be happy without Sasha Belov."

"It's ok to be sad. Its ok to pine for awhile, I wont judge. We can eat ice cream and watch really sad movies-"

"No!" Kelly was taken aback by the vehemance in Payson's voice. The second part was spoken softer, "I dont want to do any of that, I just want to forget, everything."

"Sometimes it helps to talk to someone, about the good times."

"You were the one who told me to move on, remember New Years, and Nicky."

"That was before I knew you loved Sasha, I mean I should have realized it but I didnt. I hve really been off my game lately, but that is not the point, I thought he was just a random hookup, a mistake. I thought you were taking a walk on the wild side, letting out some repressed urges. And that was ok. Everybody has a mistake or two in their past.

With those, you have to just pull yourself together, and move the hell on with your life." She leaned closer and placed her hand over the sullen blonde girl's. "But love, you dont get over love like that, a random hook up yes, but lost love takes time. You have to face it to get over it."

She watched as Payson practically deflated, "What might fix you, won't fix me. I cant do it right now. I literally cant. If I let my emotions take over, for even a second, I dont know if I'll ever be able to come back. This, moving on, it is all I can do to keep myself going."

Kelly sat back and really looked at the other girl. She looked drained. Dark circles stained the delicate skin under her eyes, adding sorrow to her already weary countance. This entire affair had obviously taken it's toll on her physically as well as emotionally. Maybe now wasn't the time to force her to face her feelings.

"So Russo," Kelly exhaled.

"It's nothing. I'm not looking for anything even remotely close to that."

"The question is, is he?''

Payson just shrugged her shoulders, and looked down at her cup.

Kelly shook her head to herself. The girl was in a serious case of denial, about Sasha and about Nicky. But she could understand why, sometimes it was better to feel nothing, than open yourself up to something you knew would be painful. Denial was the cushion you used to keep the fall from hurting as much, the life preserver that kept you afloat when you were adrift in a sea of unending pain.

She personally used anger, if she was hurting she lashed out at any and everyone. It seemed as though Payson had chosen denial. It was because she was guilty of the same thing, hiding behind defense mechanisms instead of putting on her big girl pants and facing the music, that she knew how bad Payson was going to feel in the end. She knew how hard this was going to hit her, when she actually let herself admit what had happened. She didnt know when that would be, but she would be there for her friend when this flimsy fascade she had constructed came crashing down.

Two weeks later, and the day before they left for Greece, Sasha stood on the podium next to Marty and assessed his girls. Lauren had been nailing everything, the walk was finally starting to live up to the talk. Emily was working as hard as he'd ever seen her work, even though she was only going as an alternate. Kelly's performances had an underlying fire that he had never seen from her before, he knew she was talented but this past week he'd seen a hunger, the hunger that every champion needed. And then there was Payson, she was all precision and grace. He almost wished she'd stayed a power gymnast. When she spent everyday emphasizing her beauty and femininity the way he'd taught her, well, it made coaching her pure tourture. Not that she knew that. She acted as though they were strangers on a good day, and on others it was as though he did not exist. She'd mastered the art of looking through him.

He'd observed in silent condemnation as her relationship with the Russo kid began to blossom. The day after the National Team selection he'd walked into the gym to find the boy spotting her on the bars. Then they'd moved onto the floor, where she observed him and critiqued his performance. It'd been the same every morning since, there was nothing overt, a few smiles on her part but the masochistic side of him wondered if something had changed in their relationship. The young man was much too attentive. He spent more time working with Payson on perfecting her routines, than he did his own. Which was a problem seeing as how he would be competing with the Men's National Team in another two weeks.

He watched as the boy watched Payson perform for him. The look in his eyes could only be described as longing, and his eyes lingered to long, in the wrong places, for Sasha's liking, "Mr. Russo, I'm not sure what impressions you are under, but I am the only person here that is paid to coach. So unless you are thinking of making a switch to Womens Gymnastics, I suggest you get back to your side of the gym, now."

He watched as the boy dropped his head, and made to leave. He also watched as Payson jumped down from the beam and and ran to his side, she said something that made him smile before he jogged off. She lifted her eyes and met his gaze, she wasnt looking through him now, her glare intensified and then her face went blank. She climbed back onto the beam and picked up her routine where she left off, effectively dismissing him.

"Actually I'm also paid to coach, in case you forgot." Marty said.

"Then you should have said something. There is no fraternazation allowed."

"First of all, you don't have a leg to stand on with regards to that issue. Secondly, that's a Rock rule, not a National Team rule. Lastly I'm not here to referee your relationship problems. I'm here to coach, I named you my assistant coach as a courtesy."

Sasha rolled his eyes, "From my understanding it was Ellen Beals or myself, if you are unsatisfied with my performance I could always step down."

Marty held up his clipboard and smiled,"Let's not make any rash decisions. I'm happy to have you Belov."

Sasha smirked, and looked back at towards the floor.

While the other girls, even Emily, had been upping their game in preperation for Greece, Payson seemed almost disintrested. Yes she still came to practice early, and yes she still worked hard, but, she had lost the fire that he so loved about her. Her routines were techincally sound, in the fact that she performed each move and didnt fall, but there was nothing else there, no emotion behind her eyes. He didnt know if the others could see it, but it was obvious to him, the love was gone, in more ways than one.

He remembered a day late last, week when he tried to pull it out of her. He was her coach, and it was his job to get her ready. It hadnt gone well and he'd felt even worse about himself, and the situation, afterwards.

*******Flashback

"Again, Payson" Sasha called without so much as looking up.

"Yes, coach." Her voice was monotone and she didnt even look in his direction. He hated when she called him coach and not Sasha, but it was the only way she had addressed him since the debacle outside the resturant. Coach this and coach that, and that was only when she acknowledged him at all, which was becoming a bit of a rarity. If he spoke to her she would respond; yes coach, sure coach, or fine coach; but she never initiated their exchanges. They could go entire practices without crossing paths.

He watched her first tumbling pass on the floor. She ran and then twisted and turned effortlessly through the air, but her face was listless.

"Stop. Do it again, Payson ."

"Yes, coach."

She went back to the center of the mat and began again, still the performance was lacking any emotion.

"Stop. Do it again, Payson"

"Yes, coach."

Her blase attitude was really grating on his nerves. He almost wished she would be just outright defiant. At least give him something to work with, something to push back against but instead she was completely closed off where he was concerned. The only person he had seen her smile for lately had been the Russo boy.

He'd gotten his wish that morning. She was on her fifth run through of her floor, at his request, when she cracked, and thrown up her hands, "What I am doing wrong?" She demanded.

"Everything. Do it again."

She huffed back to the center of the mat and began again. She'd just completed her tumbling pass and started her second dance element when he walked onto the floor. "Enough!" He invaded her personal space leaning down close, "What is wrong with you? Do you even care at all?"

She didnt answer or look at him, just started down at the floor.

He moved back to the side, "Start over."

She didnt move.

"Did you hear me? I said, start over."

"I dont know what you want from me!" She screamed, drawing the attention of most of the gym.

He didnt let that stop him. "What do I want? I want the routine done right." He walked back onto the floor but didnt lower his voice, let them look, "I want it all, I want everything!"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, "I already gave you everything I have to give," Her voice was quiet yet harsh and the words cut him to his very soul. The second part was spoken so low he had to strain to here it even though she was standing right in front of him. "There is nothing left. I have nothing left." She turned and walked away.

And damn it all he couldnt think of a good enough reason to follow.

End flashback****

That was the last time she had spoken to him beyond the obligatory yes coach, and he hadnt pushed for more. He'd know that morning afterwards, in Rio, that she would eventually come to hate him, to blame him. Now that the day had come to pass he couldnt fault her, he would just have to take it.

Marty cleared his throat, "Your attention please." Everyone stopped. "If you are a member of the Womens National Team, that will be going to Greece, practice is over for the day." He looked down into the surprised and confused eyes of his gymnasts. "I want all of you to go home or back to your hotel, and get plenty of rest before tomorrow."

It was Lauren who spoke up, "I need to work on my vault if Conway has a Produnova, which she barely does, I have to beat her."

"You can try Tanner, but all the practice in the world wont help you beat me. It's never going to happen." Andrea called from the back of the group.

"You could always fall."

"With my d.o.d alone, I'd still beat you."

"Lauren, your vault is as good as it is going to get, tamper with it anymore and you risk messing it up. Not to mention Andrea is you teammate." Marty interjected.

"Well, we all know how she feels about those," chimed Kelly.

Lauren turned to her left where Kelly stood, "That's rich coming from you, I seem to recall-"

"Ladies, enough. This, is why practice is over. You have all worked hard, and you are tired, mentally and physically. Take the rest of the day to relax and decompress. I will see you back here at nine a.m. sharp. The bus leaves at nine thirty, our flight leaves at twelve thirty p.m. See you then."

That said, Sasha watched Payson grab her bag and head to the locker room. How could no one else think it was strange that she didnt object to practice being cut short? The other National Team members followed suit and soon he was left staring at an empty gym.

The flight had been a long one, crossing over nine time zones was never easy. After the seventeen hour flight, which included two layovers, they arrived at Athens International Airport Eleftherios Venizelos.

It felt as though everyone had planned their flights to arrive at the same time. They had seen two other teams when they reached the baggage claim, the Japanese and the Romanians. The person she hadnt expected to see was M.J., typing away on her phone with one hand, as she adjusted her sunglasses.

"Payson, love, I'm so glad you made it safely. We have alot to talk about."

"M.J? Where did you come from? What are you doing here?"

"I just got in from London, and I'm your agent, I'll be there whenever you compete at a major event. It's in my job description." She linked her arm through Payson's. "For you every competition is a marketing opprotunity and I am here to help you capitalize on that. Not to mention this isn't just any competition, the eight best teams in the sport are about to take center stage. The world, not to mention sponsors galore will be watching. They are calling it an Olympic preview."

"It's not that big of deal."

"Not for you of course. You are the World Champion, the favorite."

Payson offered her a wane smile.

"However we have other things to discuss, first of all, your room at the Royal Olympic Hotel, excellent choice by the way, has been comped and upgraded by one of your sponsors."

"I didnt think that was allowed."

"Your Mr. Mcgowan agreed, he seems quite fond of you. He is very easy to work with, media friendly even."

"O.K. so I have a bigger room, that seems like something you could have told me over the phone." She actually glad for the accomadation change, alone time had been her best friend as of late. It meant she didnt have to put on a brave face for people. She'd been dreading rooming with Kelly, and having the snarky brunnette tip toe around on eggshells trying to make sure not to say anything that might upset her.

"That brings me to the other reason I am here. Now, I know how you hate them, but there is a social event tonight in the ballroom at your hotel. I need you in tip-top shape. Scrubbed, plucked and painted to perfection, so I am here to see that it is done, and done properly."

"Why?" She hated that her voice had a whiny tinge to it, but the last thing Payson wanted was to spend the day at some salon, being poked and prodded.

"I have it on good authority that reps from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren will be there, and they are interested in you."

Payson stared blankly.

"As in we want those campaigns."

"Dont we have enough sponsorships."

"My dear, there are never enough. This window will only be opened to you for a finite amount of time. We need to make the most of it."

"Marty is going to blow a gasket."

"He said he thought it would be good for you. The competition doesnt start until the day after tomorrow. He can give you one afternoon off to be pampered."

Four hours later, Payson sat on the enormous bed in her panoramic suite over looking the acropolis. M.J. left her there with strict instructions to be at least thirty minutes late. That was not a problem, she wanted to be so late that she missed the whole damn thing. She currently dealingwith the fallout from The last time she attended an event like this. She didnt even want to imagine the horrors that tonight might hold.

She ran her hands down the side of the dress. It was a floor length silk masterpiece in a golden champagne color, M.J. said it would subconciously remind everyone of her accomplishments. It was backless with a deep sweetheart neckline and a split that rose to mid thigh.

Her hair had been curled and pinned to the side in a carefully crafted messy bun, with a few curls left out to frame her face. The makeup artist had taken thirty minutes to enhance her features. He told her the key was to highlight not over power and he had done a wonderful job.

Objectively she knew she looked good, but she didnt feel good. Everything felt hollow. Almost like she was an observer to the events of her life.

Her phone beeped with a text from M.J. telling her to come down.

When Payson reached the banquet hall she stopped to take it all in, the hall itself was beautiful. The decor was a combination of various shades of greens, blues and gold. The sea of black suits and dresses most of the attendees wore highlighted the golden color of her dress. As her eyes found M.J.'s she watched her agent smile triumphantly. She directed the attention of the people she was talking to towards Payson and then excused her self from the conversation.

Payson's eyes landed on Kelly. She was standing next to Austin holding a red rose that matched her dress, and smiling up at him, there was no mistaking the adoration in her eyes and the tenderness in his. Had she been so self involved that she missed that development? She headed towards them only to be intercepted by M.J.

"I think you look even more fabulous than you did when I left you. Those were the reps from Calvin. We need to let them see you shine." She didnt wait for a response, grabbing Paysons arm and directing her away from the two brunnettes. "This way, I need to give you the lay of the land. Follow me and smile pretty."

"Can I have a moment to speak to my friends?"

"There will be time for that later. You do realize this is essentially a business meeting?"

"Yeah I think you have made yourself pretty clear."

"Then lets take care of business first, pleasure later."

The unintended innuendo made her grimace. There would be no pleasure taken in this night.

She listened half heartedly as M.J. rattled off the people around them and their credentials, she smiled in the appropriate places and shook every hand offered. As M.J. stepped off to the side to discuss something with one of them, Payson made a beeline for Kelly. She was standing with Austin and Marty and they were laughing at something.

She was almost there when Sasha walked up and joined the laughing threesome. She stopped dead in her tracks, his back was to her and she didnt think he'd even noticed her. Kelly sent her an apologetic look, she was turning around to head back to M.J. when a woman brushed past her, and tapped Sasha on the shoulder. He turned and looked directly at Payson as if she had somehow tapped him from three feet away.

"Alexandru Belov, as I live and breathe." Her sultry accented voice crooned in a low tone but payson was close enough to hear every word.

"Anica, it's been to long." His gaze released hers and traveled down to the woman who had actually touched him.

Payson stood frozen watching the interaction. They were obviously quite familiar with one another.

"You look well." The woman continued

"Likewise. What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, coaching."

"Romania, then."

"There is no other option. Introduce me to your little friends."

"I'm sure they need no introduction. You know Marty Walsh. The others are Ms. Kelly Parker, and-"

"Austin Tucker, the reigning gold medalist, you, I do know. Some say you are almost as good as my Sandu."

"Lies." Sasha shot back.

She wanted the woman to turn around so she could put a face with the alluring voice and glossy hair. When she turned slightly to the side, exposing her profile, Payson immediatly wished she hadnt. Beautiful was an understatment, captivating might have been a better word. She had jet black hair that hung in waves down her back, and tanned skin. Her features were delicate, her dark eyes, and she had a slim build. It was her expression that really drove the point home. She wasnt looking at Sasha so much as she was devouring him with her eyes, and he was looking right back, head cocked to the side, smirk firmly in place. It was like a punch to the gut.

"Payson what happened I thought you were right behind me." M.J. said stopped right in front of her and placed her hand on the girls shoulder. Her arrival caused the everyone in the other group to focus their attention on the two of them. M.J. was unaware because her back was turned. "Hello earth to Payson. Did you get lost?" When she didnt recieve an answer she turned and followed her clients line of sight.

"Anica Moldoveanu. How lovely to see you. What on earth are you doing here?"

"Well it is a gymnastics event and I am a gymnast."

"Former. Retired."

"I am the new coach. I have Sandu's old job, bringing glory back to our country starting with this competition."

"Good luck with that."

Payson's curiousity was peaked. There seemed to be bad blood between the two women, if their tone was anything to go by, "I'm sorry but, who are you?"

"I am Anica Moldoveanu, and you are Payson Keeler. Some say, you are the best gymnast in the world." Her smile was one step short of patronizing.

"She is the World Champion, I think the title speaks for itself." MJ asserted.

"Yet, we change World Champions almost every year. So how much weight can the title hold." She stepped away from Sasha and closer to Payson. "That is a very lovely dress for a little girl. I have seen your pictures in many magazines, you are a celebrity now, no?"

"I'm a gymnast first."

"But of course." This time there was no doubting her patronizing tone.

"I'm sorry," everyone turned to look at Kelly after she spoke, "We know your name, but we still dont know who you are?''

''I was a Romanian gymnast, back when the mere mention of the Romanian team, could strike fear and trembling into the hearts of gymnasts around the world. Sandu and I trained at the same time."

"Ah, so forever ago then." Kelly smiled sweetly.

"Sasha competed for England." Payson said, ignoring the man in question, as her turned to look at her.

Anica placed her had on his chest, in what could only be described as a possessive manner."But he is Romanian, born and raised. He trained in Romania. We were competing around the same time, he was my shining star and then he left me."

"Why?" Austin asked.

Four glares of equal measure focused on him, as he looked adorably confused. Anica and M.J. glared at each other, but no one answered, until M.J. finally smirked. "No one is really quite sure. England happened, fame happened, I happened. Then there were actresses, models, and even a few popstars. He really was a bad boy."

Sasha looked distinctly uncomfortable, if the way he was pulling on his tie was any indication. Marty looked almost gleeful, biting his lip as he smirked at the floor. Austin was stunned and Kelly looked slightly horrified.

Payson couldn't speak, she was afaird that if she opened her mouth she might be sick. It hurt more than it should, hearing about his past. Afterall when this happened she was barely eight years old. She knew he had a past, everyone did. Even though the world of elite gymnastics spanned the globe, it was still like a small town. Everybody knew everybody's business, gossip seemed to transend language and cultural barriers. It hurt because she'd never stopped to think what she would do when he decided to move on. She'd spent all of her time worrying about herself, and trying to forget him, that she never gave any consideration to how she would feel if he moved on and forgot her first. Men like Sasha didnt stay single for long. Now the evidence of that fact was standing right in front of her, looking effortlessly gorgeous, clinging to his side, and calling her a little day there would be someone else, and what the hell was she going to do then?

"It's been lovely catching up, but Payson and I have far more important things to worry about, Calvin and Ralph await." Payson cast one more look at the group, and then let MJ lead her away.

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