ch.24
"I'm waiting."
There was no response. His initial thought was that they were being deliberatly rude and ignoring him, but after further assessment of their condition, he became worried they might not be able to put a coherent thought together between the two of them.
"Ok a simpler question. Are you drunk?
Payson answered. "She is. Then I got a little bit drunk, so, we are, now, but before it just the her."
Kelly pointed down at Payson, "Mmmhmm, yep that's right."
He took a deep breath, forcing himself to ignore the adorabaly perplexed look on her face as she pointed back and forth. "Why are you drunk?" His voice softened. "Is it because of Kaylie?"
Payson scoffed, while Kelly pursed her lips.
"I'm waiting for the why then."
"You know why? Because we are chickens! And the both of you, you're the eggs, scrambled eggs"
Kelly voice was childishly excited. "Whoo! Tell em pay! Runny scrambled eggs with to much salt."
"Thats right the nasty kind."
Sasha pinched the bridge of his nose. They were getting absolutely nowhere, he almost wished he had let Austin handle it.
"Watch them." He turned to leave the room, and find something to sober them up.
"No your going to stay and listen to me. I have important things to say." She attempted to drag herself up from the floor with great effort, after the second failed attempt he went to help her. When he touched her arm to steady her she snatched it away causing her to sit, or rather fall down on Kelly's legs. "Uh- uh! No touching remember." She swatted blindly at his hand. "No touching."
He stepped back. She swung her head back to Kelly. "What was I saying?''
"You were going to tell him the stuff."
She stood again. "Right! I have some somethings I want to say." She poked him in the chest. "And Im going to touch you." She poked him again. "Im not a baby, and youre not the boss of me...well not right now. I have feelings, and those feelings are hurt, because you hurt them, with the no touching and the bossing."
"Bossy pants." Kelly called egging Payson on.
"Thats right bossy pants! I demand you take off your bossy pants right now"
"Umm but not in here." Kelly sang.
"Right. so for now you can keep them on, but later you will take them off." She nodded her head emphatically.
"Whoo, later, somebodys gonna lose their pants." Kelly cat-called.
Until this point Austin had been successful at stifiling his amusment but at that comment he snorted loudly.
Payson rounded on him. "Hey no laughing. Do you see her?" She gestured towards Kelly. "That girl is a chicken, for you, and your eggs. Man up, and be a chicken." Austin wasnt sure if her commentary required a response but he never got the chance to formulate one, as he watched her face turn green.
"I think Im gonna be sick."
Payson ran from the room in search of a toilet, but they could tell from the proximity of the retching sounds, that she didnt quite make it.
This time it was Kelly who rolled off the couch while she was laughing gleefully. She sat up with a dopey smile. "Thats my girl. The Champ. Best friend in the whole world." She sighed dreamily as Payson continued to empty the contents of her stomach in the hallway. "I love her."
Sasha was at a loss. He'd tried stern, then he'd tried understanding, but nothing seemed to even be registering with either of them right now. "I'll tend to Payson."
Austin was no longer trying to hold back his laughter, and he was still smiling when he turned around. It ceased the minute Kelly turned her glare onto him. "I'm moving out."
he crossed his arms over his chest and returned her glare, "Not today, you're not.
"Tomorow then." She replied breezily.
His retort was interrupted by Payson shouting from the hallway. "I like your house Austin. It so nice and big, so big. Why do you want to move out K.P.?"
"We dont like him."
"Oh right, I forgot."
There was some sort of exchange with Sasha before Payson yelled again."Sorry we arent speaking to you right now, but you can leave a message after the beep."
He was just opening up his mouth to speak when her voice called out again."Sorry about the rug."
"No worries, it has seen worse." He answered.
There was a series of slapping sounds that echoed from further down the hallway. "Hey no touching, bossy pants."
Austin decided to tune them out, and focus on the girl who was currently ignoring him. He watched as she blew an errant stand of hair out of her eyes.
"Do you remember the first time we met, well not met, because we spent the year before traveling on the National Team together. I mean the first time we really talked, that night on the roof, at Worlds."
She stared pointedly in the opposite direction but he knew she was listening.
"You were wearing this purple dress with like a gold rope band thing, and it swished when you walked." He smiled at the memory. "I followed you from the party that night, not in a creepy stalkerish way, but I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You'd looked so sad the entire night. I actually had no idea what to say to you, and I didnt really expect you to talk to me."
"The alcohol helped."
"True. Then I figured it was a fluke. After any major win everybody is just a little bit more friendly. So when I saw you at that coffee shop I almost walked out, before you saw me. Not because I didnt want to talk to you again, but because I didnt want it to be awkward. Then I realized you couldnt find enough change, it felt like a sign. That was my in, I liked talking to you, but you were still so sad, and lonely.
I'd never noticed it before but you were always alone. You never let anyone get close to you. After that day and your mother, I had a pretty good guess as to why you were so unapproachable. Even then, I knew any attempts at a real friendship would have to start with you.
So when you called me that day crying, it never occured to me that I was saving you. There was something about you that drew me in, it was that extreme sadness behind your eyes. I did want to fix it, but I didnt want to save you. Next thing I knew you were living here, but I still had no clue as to what made the great Kelly Parker tick.
You were a mystery. Everything else came later. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know. You had so many layers, funny, kind, incredibly intelligent,silly and serious, all wrapped up in a ridiculously beautiful package. I saw the kind of friend you could be to Payson, and I'll admit I wanted that for myself. I have people that I know and people that I party with and people that I date, but I never just had a friend. You see I needed you, you saved me.
You snuck up on me, wih your creepy murder books, your unique outlook on life, your resilience, but most of all your unwavering loyalty to those you care about. I realized I could spend the rest of my life learning about is no part of you that I dont want to know. I didnt realize I could be in love with you, until it had already happened. That morning before you left when you leaned up to hug me goodbye, I don't know if you noticed but I almost kissed you. I didnt even think about it it was instinctual. I started booking the flight before you'd even left the driveway. That night in Greece, I had this whole thing planned. What I would tell you. How you would respond. I even knew where our first kiss was going to happen."
"Where?" Kelly asked in a quiet voice. she'd been staring straight ahead while he made his confession.
"Hotel rooftop. I wanted to recreate that first night."
"That's nice." Her voice was still very low and it cracked a bit with the emotions she was keeping in check.
"Then all of this happened." He shifted and looked at her but she kept her eyes focused on the bookshelf. "Kelly, I cant just leave her. She's not strong like you, she wont make it, she needs me. "
All the alcohol in the world couldnt mask the way her heart was shattering. How could he say all of those things, and then just leave. She turned to the side so that he wouldnt see her tears.
"Please dont cry." He ran his hands roughly through his hair. "I'm messing this all up. I talked to Kaylie. I told her I would always be there for her, as her friend. Only as her friend. There is no way I could be with her like that, not when I have you."
She looked up sharply. "What did you just say?"
He let a smile creep across his face. "I said, I'm all in. If this was Texas Hold 'Em I would have already bet the house, the car, the kid, and the dog. So here it is, your choice, and I'm going to make it really simple, you can either say yes or no. You are the most challenging, most guarded, most stubborn person I have ever met. You are competitive, you can't cook, you're an unbelievable slob, and you snore, loudly. However, I am an amazing cook, I can hire a maid, and I'll buy earplugs, because you see Kelly Parker, I think I just might love you too. In a really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last doughnut, hold a radio over my head outside your window, love you." Kelly put her head down and found herself laughing through the tears.
Austin leaned down to lift her face up. "I really thought I got it right that time."
"You really did, it's just, I'm still a little drunk. Can we do it again tomorrow?"
Austin's laugh bellowed through the library before he slung his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. "We can do it again, everyday if you'd like too."
"I think I'd like that."
As he closed the distance between them she was reminded of the times when she was young and believed in fairytales. Prince Charming on his noble steed coming to carry her away to his castle. As she got older, and began to understand real life, the fairytale disappeared. It wasnt until now that she realized, the dreams she'd secretly harbored as a child had never actually gone away. Even though she thought she was completely over them, at this very moment, with this very man, they were all coming very true.
Sasha slammed a mug down on the counter. "Drink the coffee Payson."
"Drink the coffee Payson." She mimicked but she followed his instructions. He waited until she'd finished to speak. He hoped that with the vomiting and the coffee she might be in a better frame of mind.
"I dont understand why you are acting like this. What has changed in two days?"
"You did."
He sighed. the problem with spending every waking moment losing himself in the happiness that came from actually having her, was the fact that they hadn't had any sort of real discussions. Halfway around the world, locked in a hotel room, removed from their normal surroundings, they hadnt thought about how they would function in their day to day lives. "Payson, at the hospital, when there were so many people around, it wasnt the time or the..."
"Is that how it's going to be now that we're back? You telling me what to do and when to do it? Are we even together or was it just a figment of my imagination?" She stood up from the counter and approached him. "I dont even know what this thing betwen us means, and it's partially my fault because we never defined it, but I didnt think that we needed too. I thought that no matter where we were, no matter who was around, that we would always be us. Payson and Sasha." She was standing toe to toe with him when she finished speaking.
"Look at me Payson." He searched her eyes for clarity. He needed her to understand that the need for distance in public was in no way a reflection on her, if anything it was for her safety. "My feelings for you havent changed, but our circumstances have, and our situation is difficult. How we behaved in Greece was reckless and irresponsible, had we been caught..." He trailed off not even wanting to think of the ramifications of such an incident. "Just be glad we weren't. Things will change not because I want them to but because they have too."
"So what, that's it. It's over. We had Rio, and Greece, and now we have... nothing?"
"I hate this. I hate not being able to touch you when I want, or kiss you just because I feel like it." He took a deep breath to regroup. "You're like me the sport comes first. You are so unbelievably focused and I respect that, I admire it. I will not allow myself to be the person that takes that all away from you."
Finding out that Kaylie was sick again had damn near broken his heart. But more than that, it reminded him how even now, after both she and Payson had been through so much and fought their way back into the game, it could all be taken away so easily. He wasnt sure if the other three realized, but Kaylie would not be coming back. With her condition, and the pressures and demands that this sport constantly placed on her, Alex and Ronnie Cruz had decided that Kaylie just couldnt be successful. She wasn't built tough enough,
She'd been fine as long as she had been in the shadows, always better than average but never a true contender. As long as people just expected her to smile and turn out a 'good' routine, she'd flourished. Then Nationals happened, and she won. All of a sudden people expected constant greatness, where before she had been praised regardless. He'd seen the pressure to keep winning cause people stronger than her to crumble.
It was such a precarious edge that these athletes balanced on, and everyone had their breaking point, evenly seemingly indomitable blondes who could recover from a broken back. One day Payson would find hers, he just didnt know what he would do if it turned out to be him.
"I'm not a victim, you didnt happen to me. You dont get to just decide how it is going to be from now on, that's not love it's control. At the lake we decided to be a team, equals. I have feelings, you have feelings, then we talk, and decide together. We're in this together." Her voice was strong and clear by now.
He considered her words, before responding. He would give everything he'd ever had to have met her under different circumstances. Just a man and a woman, no Olympics, no expectations.
That would never have been the case though, because had it not been for gymnastics, the chances that their paths might have crossed was virtually non existent. He didnt have enough faith in fate to believe that would have ended up in the same place, at the same time, in a world this big, without the aid of gymnastics. It was because of those circumstances and expectations that he posed his next question. No matter how she answered he would understand, he just needed to know. "Am I, is this, more important than your dream?"
The question caught her off guard. She wasnt sure if he was asking her to choose between the two options, or if he needed reassurance about her feelings. The Olympics had been her entire life until recently, until Sasha Belov came walking through the Rock's doors and turned her entire world upside down.
She realized that he and her dream had become inextricably linked. Somewhere along the way, the dream had changed from going to the Olympics, to getting there with Sasha. He was still waiting for her answer when she pulled herself from her thoughts. "You're not less important. Sasha, there is no dream without you, and there would never have been a you, if I didnt have this dream."
He pulled her tight to his chest, and kissed the top of her head. "Then we'll figure out the rest."
"Together?" She questioned.
"Together." He smiled.
Hope you enjoyed it. This was supposed to be a Kelstin oneshot but it seemed to go better with the main story. I was thinking of doing a Missing Moments one shot of the night on the roof from Worlds if you guys would be interested in that please review and let me know.
As always please review favorite and follow.