Sesshomaru only knew he'd gone too far once it was too late.

"He's not changing his mind," his mother sounded weary, as if everything were her own fault. "I don't know where we went so wrong." She wasn't one for tears or dramatics, but he could hear the cracking of her voice.

Some small, neglected part of him felt sick to have been the cause of her heartache. The rest of him was indignant. There was not a doubt in his mind that they were talking about him.

"Kimi, darling," Izayoi's voice was comforting and indulgent, all caramel and chocolate in the face of her wife's frustration. "Some demons never get over their disdain for humankind. It's no one's fault."

"She's right," if there was one person he expected to speak any modicum of sense it was his father. It was him who instilled the importance of strength and purity into his young mind. Now he was siding with two delusional old crones? "But it doesn't change the fact that we can't allow him to become king should this continue."

Static. Cold. Panic.

His entire life had been spent in pursuit of his birthright yet now they spoke of taking it away with such disregard. He'd read all the scrolls, memorized all of the laws. Humans, demons, kami, he'd shaken hands with every ally on his father's roster and made no complaints.

What did his personal feelings matter when he kept his more vapid thoughts between his family and himself?

"Toga," Izayoi spoke again, quiet as she thought something over, "that would destroy him. He's spent his entire life-."

"You think I don't know that?" His father was being gruff with her -something that Sesshomaru was less than pleased about, "he's my son, my pride and joy, but if we leave him in charge as he is now… InuYasha will never lead a normal life."

The irony of Izayoi being his most vicious defender was not lost on him, "we don't know that."

"You heard him the other day," his mother had ceased her waterworks for the time being, "abomination. What the king does the people emulate. If we let him take charge then what about his brother?"

Naturally, the thing standing in his way was InuYasha. It was always InuYasha. Since childhood he'd been asked to be less for his younger brother's sake. Move slower, hit gentler, be kinder- it was always InuYasha who indulged in someone else's sacrifice.

He wouldn't be surprised if they expected Sesshomaru to be the one to tutor him.

"They love each other," Izayoi insisted, "he's just… a bit cruel in the way he speaks with him. InuYasha is often no better-."

"Zai," Toga would have put his heavy hand upon her shoulder in that moment, "InuYasha's jeering is harmless. A few jabs about his brother's temperament are nothing in comparison to the sheer disgust Sesshomaru has for the other boy. You say he's only cruel, but -my love- a cruel king is not what our people deserve."

"Living life as an abomination is not what InuYasha deserves."

Izayoi sighed, "I seem to be outnumbered," and he felt his skin go cold. Part of him was begging her to keep fighting. The rest of him wanted to run away. There were infinite places in the world and if he wasn't wanted there then he could surely find some other place to be. "But, if he could change?" His ears pricked at the hopefulness that painted her words in a million optimistic colors. "Imagine the good his mind could do, if he could only see past those barriers?"

When neither of his biological parents said a word she continued, spurred on by their uncertainty.

"He's shown me his plans," she pushed, "well… I kind of found the notebook and he was too embarrassed to admit I'd outsmarted him. He's got ideas for orphans and battle strategies for the men under his command and treaty ideas." She sounded exasperated, "I can't stand to see all of that brilliance go to waste."

His stomach felt sour. Brilliance. The woman he often only saw as a nuisance was the only one defending him. She thought him brilliant.

"One more year," that was her pitch. "Give him one more year. If finding a human bride does not change him then we will crown InuYasha and be done with it."

His mother sighed, "no one changes in a year."

"Oh? I seem to vividly recall the anti human rhetoric you both instilled in him when he was still knee high to a grasshopper. You were the first to call me a vile whore, Kimi."

"That's not fair. For all of my mistakes, I love you now. I've made up for my past-."

"Yet you don't believe your son can do the same?"

Sesshomaru dared a glance around the corner, trying to get a better look through the crack of the door. Izayoi was trapping his mother against the desk, her kind expression twisted imploringly. "InuYasha and I were enough to change you after a millennia. There's no reason why he should not be as bewitched with a gentle, human princess as you were with a gentle, human whore."

"Both of you need to calm down." Toga pulled them apart, "how do we know he's changed? He can be a convincing actor when he wants to."

"Simple. We don't tell him. We wait a year and then we go from there, but I know…" she clutched her pendant as she gazed up as his father, "this is the right choice."

They all seemed to mull that over for a while and he considered making his escape before it was too late, but then his father spoke again and he held his breath, "the boy who gave you a dead flower and the man we know are not the same."

"Maybe not, but the man who helps me beat the flour and butter for your snickerdoodles and the man we know are."

oOo

Sesshomaru spent the next week avoiding his family.

It wasn't until his traitorous mother came knocking that he had the energy to acknowledge any of them. Traitorous. Disloyal. He could insult them for hours if given the chance.

"What's got you so annoyed?"

Telling the truth would do him no good, "the library was freshly stocked. I couldn't be bothered with you all or your incessant babbling." Her shoulders sagged with relief.

"Have you looked over the girls we compiled for you? I know you said you'd make your own choices," she opened the file and set it in his lap, "but this is a good place to start, don't you think?"

His father mistook his flat expressions for acting. He was not acting so much as trying to hold his tongue. Izayoi did not plead on his behalf for him to muck it up with unnecessary emotion.

"I'm not interested in them. If I'm not allowed to search for my mate then the least you could do was compile attractive women."

He was being unfair. A number of the women in the file were fairly pretty, but he was bitter and his wounds still felt fresh so he spared no barb. It also didn't help that the smell of cinnamon was starting to drive him a little nutty.

Whenever he thought himself to be free of the coiling in his gut the smell of cinnamon came rolling through an open window or a crack in the stone and he'd be overcome all over again.

"Human women have a different kind of beauty-."

"-no shit." He simply wasn't interested in their half assed offerings. Too many of them were plagued with yellowish, grayish hair and matching eyes.

"Your foul mood is noted and unappreciated. What's got you so upset?" Her hand was small on his, but he was incapable of disregarding the disloyalty. She'd been fine to strip him of years of hard work for the sake of some mutated mongrel.

Now he was supposed to confide in her? There was not a chance in hell.

Still. He needed answers and telling his mother about his insuppressible urge to stick his hands down his pants seemed to be a grand start to her punishment. He didn't have to tell her about his hurt feelings or the increasing longing that seemed to weigh upon his mind like bricks.

"I'm being driven to madness by the bewitching smell of cinnamon." A strawberry blush blossomed across her nose almost instantly, "in exactly the way you're thinking. There's no point in leaving my room when I'll be forced to return the moment the wind blows weird."

"You have a father, you know. He'd be better suited to dealing with such problems."

The smell carried on the breeze this time and he pulled his knees up to his chest.

"If you hadn't demanded that father get rid of the concubines I would have no need to have this conversation with you."

She hadn't been willing to risk another illegitimate child and Izayoi had agreed wholeheartedly, 'if I could seduce you then so could someone else'. Now she was paying the price.

"Before I continue touching these portraits… did you use any of them as… inspiration?"

"I think I've made it clear that they aren't my type."

She held up a princess at random, one of the few with dark hair that didn't look like swamp water, "even her?"

"Not even a twitch."

She stuck her pointed tongue between her lips in mild disgust, "you're disgusting." Better disgusting than cruel, "has this ever happened before? You're still young. Sometimes young men are just… horny."

"It's been happening once a month for about six months now, but this is the month that's unbearable. I wasn't even like this during puberty. If I recall correctly it was InuYasha that was humping couch cushions well into the night."

"When Izayoi was pregnant with InuYasha we prayed he'd be a girl. Just know that -even now- that hasn't changed."

More cinnamon. Less control. His lungs felt tight and the butterflies were running amuck in his stomach making his mind feel fuzzy and his fingers all tingly. If she didn't cough up some answers soon he'd simply have to cast her out and try again later.

"Wait, did you say monthly?"

He ground his teeth as he willed the window shut. Maybe if he could stop the air from flowing then he could maintain whatever was left of his sanity.

"I've been able to ignore it up until now."

"Demons don't ovulate monthly, so it couldn't be a mate situation." She tapped her chin, "unless she's no demon? You spend a great deal of time with Izayoi so it isn't impossible that you'd be in tune enough with humans to find a mate in one."

She was taking her sweet time puzzling things out, completely ignorant to the feelings raging within him.

"But your hatred of humans seems to contradict that idea."

"I don't hate humans," he snapped, his discomfort was making him grouchy, "I only think that half demons are abominable."

Either way she didn't find it likely. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see, but if she's human… if she's human then we'll definitely find her for you. One less sacrifice, you know?"

"And if she's not?"

A truly apologetic expression crossed her lips, "we'll make sure your bride is lovely." Gods he'd never felt so lonely, so incomplete in all his life, but he wouldn't let it stand in his way.

He couldn't.

"I love you, Maru." She hovered in the doorway for a bit, not speaking, not moving. "And I'm so sorry I called you cruel. Mean spirited or not, you are wonderful."