YAY, looks who's here again! So, this story will be a drama, not too long. I was inspired by ohnej with this idea and suddenly I was writing. It's originally written in Portuguese and as a part of a way to improve my translating skills I decided to translate to English. I got some wonderful coments about this story so I decided to be brave and post in English too. Hope you like it! The name of the story and the lyrics were taken from the song "All of this" by blink-182.

"With all of this I know now,

Everything inside of my head

It all just goes to show how

Nothing I know changes me at all

Again I wait for this to change instead to tear the world in two.

Another night with her,

But I'm always wanting you."

The taste of the alcohol ripped through his throat. It didn't look that he was the one who decided to drink the bitter liquid.

Maybe, unconsciously, he thought it would be the best choice when he was trying to swallow that lump in his throat. Would go down on his stomach, trying not to care about the weight on his chest. Would pass through his gullet in a fast way and even though was hard to swallow, would be fast, having an end.

All he wanted was an end.

He stared at the glass having no expression on his face, only his eyes were crossing the room at the opposite side from where the figure would make his discomfort worse.

Naruto convinced himself that his eyes would always go to her because of the discreet cleavage she was wearing, the formal dress fitting her perfectly, making it possible to see all her curves. It was torturous in contrast with her higher education that would never give him a chance to interpret her polite manners as hidden reasons.

It was different from his stares, that would take too much time on the curves of her lips, her eyes shape - and for god's sake – at the curve of her neck.

Because, fucking hell, he was sleeping next to his beautiful girlfriend when he dreamed he was moaning against that curve, pressing Hinata's thighs around his waist under his fingers. He woke up in the middle of the night having to change his underwear as a teenager not knowing how to deal with his erection.

Although, it all happened unconsciously: his eyes would follow the ivory color from her formal dress, finding her in a casual conversation with another counselor member. The Hyuuga heiress knew how to politely put the right words in order, convincing whoever she wanted to. It was clear she had all the attention.

He wondered what kind of education she got from her clan to make it seems that the world was under her foot, not having to change the volume of her voice or to give her lungs more air. It was the opposite from him that had to make himself known. Her presence itself was enough to make her spot known. Superficially he wanted to convince himself that every fact about her was new: the attraction, the curiosity of feeling her in his arms, make her belong to him. But deep inside he knew it wasn't just that, he had ignored those eyes, those words, and the care he had for her. Her well-being was always his priority, at last, she always filled his life with bravery every time he needed it.

The difference now was that he wanted to taste her, feel her skin chill under his thumbs, listen to her call his name with swallow lips begging for more.

He saw sideways someone sitting by his side.

"I'm relieved that Misumi had decided not to come." Shikamaru's voice made Naruto's eyes look in the other direction. "The appetizers would give you indigestion."

An embarrassed smile appeared on his face. The mention of his girlfriend's name – which was from a long-term relationship – fills him with shame.

"It's hard to control." He confessed, drinking more. "Don't tell me I'm the only one to look at her."

Shikamaru took a deep breath then smiled.

"Of course not. Hinata is very beautiful" He crossed his arms. "But in your case is different. It has always been."

Naruto looked at him, he barely looked back.

"We used to think you two would be a couple." Shikamaru was looking at Hinata now, from afar. "You used to change around her, would be calm, more patient. When you came with Misumi and told everybody she was your girlfriend, it was a surprise. I thought I was wrong." Two sapphires were staring in the same direction as Shikamaru. The brunette looked back at the Hokage-to-be. "Today I'm sure I wasn't mistaken."

Hinata was smiling at the Daimyo's young daughter while she was approaching. At this time his stare took more than a few seconds and the Hyuuga looked back in his direction, staring at Naruto.

"What should I do'ttebayo?"

He asked in a lower voice, without blinking, admiring her.

"You have a fiancée." Naruto's fingers squeezed around the cup and Hinata looked at the teenager, giving her total attention. "You're a step away from getting the Hokage title. Do you really want me to answer that question?"

Deep inside he wished Shikamaru would give him a practical solution from the ones he always had. He would tell him something to clear his mind and put away Misumi's crying and disappointed eyes or be jerk enough to suggest to step aside Hinata from her place as a part of Konoha's council.

Naruto knew that choosing the Hyuuga heiress for such a job was strategical from Kakashi and Shikamaru. If she wasn't there probably the decision on whom would be the best for the next Hokage's title would recall on a different member who could be easily inclined to choose another candidate. She'd support his dream, as she has always been since when they met each other as kids.

"Don't screw up."

He looked at the serious expression on Shikamaru's face and nodded. He didn't dare to look at her for the rest of the night.

-/-

Misumi was gorgeous. When they met Naruto remembered the way he laughed so naturally with her. She was feisty, lively, would fill his days with suavity. He fell with her for the spontaneous way she'd introduce herself, and for the first time, he was being reciprocated. The attraction was almost instinctive. Quickly after their first kiss, they had their first time and the days at the small village near Uzushio made them a couple.

When the Uzumaki asked Misumi to go back with him to Konoha, the girl's face lighted up. The big war hero, the most attractive guy she had ever met was offering her commitment. Without a doubt, she accepted it. Full of certainty and resolution in her actions, Misumi changed the blond's life, now he had someone to return to. However, she needed more, not a simple dating statement based on hot nights and company at the meals. The girl with brown hair demanded a real commitment, a future. In that way when they had the talk she told Naruto that they were only dating, that there was only one way for her to live for once in Konoha.

The engagement happened. Naruto chose a Golden ring that would be beautiful with her tan skin. He made a reservation in a fancy restaurant. She reacted with surprise at the proposal, but in reality, she knew it was just a matter of time before that happening. He had chosen her. A fan who had the audacity enough to give herself in, body and soul, and he gave himself in too. A little after one year from the first time they met, Naruto and Misumi were engaged.

The engagement party was more reserved than he was expecting. His friends were there, making room for his fiancée to feel like a part of the group. Sakura tried hard to ignore all the times Misumi put herself as the most exceptional person in Naruto's life. When she forced stories of them between the memories from squad 7, or when she was telling a random fact about the blond, that Sakura supposedly wouldn't know. At the third time, his pinky-haired friend tried to get along with Misumi, in a hang out with his friends at Yakiniku-Q. Sakura called Naruto to talk when Misumi was in the restroom.

"I tried Naruto. I really tried." She said, minimizing her impatience as much as she could. "But we don't get along. I give up."

Any argument or excuse he said wouldn't be enough. The two of them were strangely similar and maybe because of that, a friendship between them would be impossible. He only agreed and apologize. At the back of his mind that hurt more than it should.

From there on their relationship got private. The hangouts with friends had decreased or would be only casual encounters. During this period only a few times, he saw Hinata – now she was about to take officially her place as a Hyuuga heiress. Her appointments had improved. Even so, she was at his engagement party. She smiled, congratulating him. He smiled back. And when he remembered that his heart was in pieces and he didn't even know why.

Now, in their bed, Misumi was breathing slowly in a heavy sleep. Naruto was looking at his fiancée. She was beautiful. Her delicate traces, her thin lips, her slim silhouette. Misumi was so good-looking. He liked when she put her hair up in a ponytail. When she punched him slightly if he spoke silly things, being a stereotype from the woman he should choose. She was supposed to fill that space in his chest, the empty that used to torment him. What was in fault in Misumi that would not fill him up? What was wrong that that woman, so perfect the way she was, would not shut those feelings and sensations?

He turned his face to the other side, feeling guilty for thinking that the woman he proposed marriage wouldn't fit in some stupid standards. He loved Misumi. She was about to be his wife.

The humidity wouldn't muffle the sounds around them. Her back was pressed against the cold tile from the bathroom. This way would help him to support her weight, even when her legs were around his waist. The sound from the shower wouldn't muffle the moaning, skin against skin, the loud breathing. His fingers were going up from her waist to Hinata's left breast. All the scenarios made his mouth water. Naruto kissed her lips violently, pressing her even more against the wall.

He got more aroused inside of her at the sight of her half-opened eyes, feeling her tongue twist around his own. He touched her lower lip.

Suddenly, two moons were staring at him deeply, as if they could see his soul. Her wet hair clued against her forehead, the fragile facial expression ordering more from him resulted in one true aching in his chest.

He put his hand on her waist, while the other was on her neck.

"You know, don't you, Hinata?" Naruto said, staring at her lips and then her eyes. She just stared back, giving him all the attention. "You know how much I want you." His heart was racing. "You know how much I love you."

Hinata smiled at him, nodding. She touched his face in a very intimate way, he'd say angelical if they weren't naked in the shower while he was thrusting her.

"I'm yours. You know that too."

Hinata didn't need to reaffirm herself as he needed, filling her with obvious questions. He started to kiss her lips and thrust her again roughly and deeper. He touched her firmly, leaving traces from the touch on her skin.

Could be his fast heart race waking him up. Could be his shaking hands. Could be the erection in his underpants.

Or could it be because his face was damp. He was crying. And all he could hear was the confession in his dream. This had never happened before.

You know, don't you, Hinata? You know I love you.

So, when I was translating this I found out that I write A LOT of wordy sentences. I didn't even know this was a thing! It's an issue I'm trying to change. In Portuguese we don't have that. It's kinda funny because you sound more poetic (I guess...) in Portuguese if you use lots of words to describe something, being direct can sound a little impolite. It's a new challenge for me. xD

Grammarly corrected the text, I don't have any beta, sorry for any mistakes. Hope I don't take too long to translate the next chapter. Thanks for reading!