Notes: Hello Everyone, Sorry it has taken me longer than i have said to upload this I've been really busy with college work. This chapter had been sat on my laptop waiting to go up for a few weeks. I have made an odd edit here and there on it in that time, but here it is now all ready for you too read. Enjoy!
Over the next few days the family, if it could be called that, spent a lot of time getting to know each other. It was nowhere near perfect or anywhere near that at all. Sherlock was beginning to learn more and more about his daughter each day. Her likes and dislikes, more stories from her childhood and anything else she was willing to tell. He started to build a room in his mind palace about his daughter and each day it grew and grew just that little bit bigger. He promised himself and silently to Sam that he would try his best to keep all of the information.
On this particular day, Molly and Sherlock were planning on working out a schedule for Sherlock and Sam to have more time together.
"Well, Sam tries to come back every other weekend from boarding school," Molly informed him. "Maybe she could stay with me on one visit back and you the other?"
Sherlock thought for a moment then realised that if Sam was to stay over then she would have nowhere to sleep. He could ask Mycroft if he would pay to have the bottom flat fixed to benefit his dear niece but that didn't seem like an option without Mycroft wanting something in return. There was the option of him giving up his room for Sam and then letting himself sleep on the sofa.
"Sam wouldn't have anywhere to sleep if she stayed at Baker Street."
Molly thought for a moment. "Well maybe Sam can still sleep at my flat but spend the day with you?"
"That could possibly work." Sherlock stopped to think about it. "But I couldn't possibly be able to say if I will be working on a case one week to the next."
"We need to have a schedule," Molly said. "So Sam sees us both equally."
"Why does she have to go to boarding school anyway?" Sherlock asked infrustration.
"Because it's a mainstream school that accepts people with disabilities, Sherlock," Molly told him.
"But don't they have any schools like that in London?"
"Yes, but having Sam away outside of the city means that I can carry on with my job and help you with your cases. Which most of the time is at the drop of a hat and it keeps her safe out of the public eye."
"Wow make a girl feel wanted why don't you," said Sam sarcastically, who both Sherlock and Molly had forgotten was in the room with them.
"Sorry, love." Molly replied. "I thought you liked the school you go to?"
"I do, Mum. It's fine."
Molly turned her attention back too Sherlock. "So you'll pick Sam up on the weekends then return her in the evening."
"I mean I can try and do that. I would hope not to draw attention to myself though, you never know what nutcase is out there and what they will do."
"Sam does have a bodyguard that could go out with the two of you if you're that worried."
Sam smiled. "David's really lovely."
Sherlock was not impressed by this idea. "I don't need to be babysat whilst spending time with Sam."
"Yes,but your life is dangerous, Sherlock." Molly pointed out. "I don't want my daughter getting hurt over something you might not have thought about."
"Our daughter," Sherlock corrected.
"Yes our daughter, I'm sorry. Look, I'm just scared something might happen. Didn't the flat opposite yours just blow up a few weeks ago? What if Sam had been there then? What if it happens to your flat while Sam is there? These are the things that I worry about."
Mr Holmes, who was sat in the room, watched Sam very closely as he watched her slightly grab her chest and rock a little bit back and forth. This worried him. "Sam, are you okay?"
His words grabbed both Sherlock and Molly's attention as they both looked to there daughter.
"Struggling to breathe." Sam said, gasping for air as tears filled her eyes "Mum – can't breathe!"
"Oh god, is she okay? Do I need to call an ambulance?" Sherlock asked Molly as he got his phone out.
More gasps for air came from Sam as more tears ran down her face. It suddenly clicked to Molly what was happening. "She is having a panic attack."
Sam's chest felt really tight as she wanted to take a breath but each time she did, it felt like she wanted to gasp for more. "Mum – want – to breathe." Sam felt as if she was going to die, that was the only thought that kept running through her head, that she was going to die.
"What do you do when this happens?" Sherlock asked, freaking out.
His question didn't get answered as his father moved closer to Sam and with a bit of difficulty got onto his knees, so he was at eye level with his granddaughter, taking her hand in his. In a soft voice he gave her instructions. "Sam, I want you to start taking some breaths with me, okay? In on the count of three. One, two, three, now out on the count of three."
Nobody spoke as the older man helped his granddaughter. It took a bit of time, but Sam slowly was able to get her breathing under control. She felt embarrassed that it had happened. Once Mr Holmes was back on his feet, he put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You okay?"
"Yes, thank you," Sam managed to get out. A part of her was worried that just by talking it would start all over again.
She went to dry her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket when Sherlock took the handkerchief that was in his top pocket and handed it to her. "Here, take this."
"Thank you," she said, wiping her eyes with it.
Sam leaned against Molly who opened her arms and hugged her daughter. "What brought the panic attack on, love? Do you have any idea what it was?"
Sam sat there thinking for a few minutes. The adults waited quietly for her response. "It was when you and Sherlock we're talking about who I will be spending weekends with. Then all that talk about being in danger brought back all the scared feelings from when Moriarty kidnapped me. I haven't really stopped and thought about it just pushed to the back of my mind and then it all just built up and hit me in that moment and then I couldn't breathe."
"The last few weeks have been really tough and a lot to deal with."
Sam nodded. "And Dad's famous, everyone in the country knows who he is. I like not being known. I want to be like Hannah Montana."
"Hannah Mon-who?" Sherlock asked, confused.
"It's a tv show about a girl Miley who lives a double life. She created this fake pop star persona and wears a wig. She can be famous when under the name Hannah but can live a normal life as Miley. What I'm trying to say is I don't want the media or your fans finding out about me. I want my life in that way to stay the same and not have to give it up, even if it meant living as two different people. I still want to be me. Someone unknown."
"I can't promise that something won't leak out, but I know Mycroft and I won't let that happen personally."
Sam nodded and got up off the sofa to give her grandad a hug. "Thanks for helping me, Gramps."
"Anything for my favourite granddaughter," Mr Holmes said.
Sherlock felt jealousy fill inside him. He wished that he could be the one getting a hug from Sam.
Soon afterwards Mr Holmes lead his son out to the shed in the back garden. Molly was in the kitchen just once again making sure that Sam was okay. Sherlock did wonder to himself why his father had brought him out there but didn't ask because he knew it wouldn't be long till he got an answer.
"Wait here," Mr Holmes instructed as he went inside the shed. In less than a minute Mr Holmes came back with two shotguns and a box with glass bottles in which was handed to Sherlock, "Carry this and follow me."
Not having a chance to say anything to his father as he walked on ahead Sherlock begrudgingly followed; neither of them spoke as they walked. When they got to the end of the Holmes estate, his father stopped walking.
"Would you mind putting the box down?"
Sherlock put the box on the ground and watched him as his father opened it and removed a couple of what looked like old jam jars. Not far away was an old tree stump Mr Holmes put the two jars down then walked back to Sherlock and handed him one of the shotguns.
"Shoot at them, I know you want to."
Loading the gun, Sherlock shot and fired, breaking both jars in just two shots. "What is this meaningless activity for?"
"Because you need to get your anger out, son."
Mr Holmes set up five more jars and let Sherlock shoot. Once again, he broke them all first time around.
"Feeling any better?" Mr Holmes asked.
"Slightly."
Mr Holmes moved to an old bench that had been there longer than anyone could remember and gestured for Sherlock to join him. Once his son was sat down next to him, he spoke. "Why do you feel angry?"
"Is that question meant to be stupid?"
"Tell me why, Sherlock."
"I am angry because everybody lied to me for twelve years, I'm angry that my own flesh and blood was kept from me and the only reason I get was because of the drugs. I've been clean for a few years now. Why didn't anyone tell me then? Why did it take a psychopath to kidnap her and put her in danger before I learnt the truth? I'm angry that I don't know what to say to my own daughter out of fear that I will upset her and I'm jealous at how she looks up to you."
"It wasn't always like that with me and Sam," Mr Holmes said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I was once in the same position you are in, but it took time."
"But she calls you Gramps? How could she not have always called you that?"
"I wasn't her only grandfather. Molly's dad was Sam's favourite person in the world. She was named after him. Back then she only went by Sammy. He took care of her and raised her while Molly did all of her studies. Your mother and I were in her life then, but we would only see her every few months and be kept up to date on everything and send her birthday and Christmas presents. We were not the best grandparents to her. Not like Sam Sr. was."
"Where is he now?"
"He got sick when Sam was just over a year old and died when she was five. It broke her heart. After that she requested that everybody call her Sam to make her feel closer to him."
"Oh," Sherlock said, not knowing what else to say.
"After that, your mother and I knew we needed to play a bigger part in her life, as we were the only grandparents she had left. We wanted her to feel safe."
"How was she?"
"It was difficult at first, she became very close to your mother and would shy away from me. Wanted nothing to do with me. Found it hard to even look at me."
"I know that feeling," Sherlock said. "How did you get through to her?"
Mr Holmes thought for a moment. "I took her out here, sat her down here where you are right now and just asked her what was wrong."
"What did she say?"
"She told me that she didn't want to get too close to me because she had already lost one grandfather, she didn't want to get close to me in case she lost me too. She was guarding herself so she wouldn't get hurt. I told her that I didn't plan on going anywhere and that I was here for her. It took time but we got there. That's the journey you're on, Sherlock."
"And I'll get there?" Sherlock asked, wanting reassurance.
"Of course. I have faith in you and Sam. Molly's dad loved both those girls so much as does your mother and I. They're a part of our family and they have just joined yours."
Sherlock got up off the bench and added another jar to the tree stump before shooting it. A part of him felt better that he knew he might be able to get through to her with time. A thought struck his mind. "You said a father figure left Sam's life. Was Molly's dad that one?"
Mr Holmes stayed silent for a moment. "He was one of them."
"One of them?" Sherlock questioned. "So there was someone else?"
Mr Holmes sighed slightly. "Sherlock, it's not really my place to tell you this part. I think that needs to be done by Molly. If you bring the topic up, please be polite about it and do so when you know Sam will definitely be out of earshot."
Sherlock knew better than to try and get more information out of his father. For now, this would be a conversation set on pause on which he planned to ask Molly about at a later time.
"Come on," Mr Holmes said. "We better get back to the house before your mother finds out I've taken the shotguns out again, I don't think she will be too impressed that you shot the glass that was meant for the recycling."
"But it was your idea to have me shoot them. And why did you bring out two guns if you only intended for me to shot?"
"I knew I wouldn't be able to get you out here unless both guns were brought along." Mr Holmes went silent for a moment, then he changed the subject. "I am sorry we did keep Sam from you, Sherlock. I guess in hindsight we should have told you about her when you got clean. It would have been better for the both of you."
"Indeed it might, but I guess we can't change that now. Father, you were so good at stopping Sam's panic attack. How did you know what to do?"
"Sam had a few when she was younger after her grandfather died. I guess it was just the instinct from that time kicking back in. Though it hasn't happened for a long time."
"She's going to be okay now though?"
"I think she is going to be just fine."
"I wish I could have known what to do," Sherlock admitted, "instead of freezing up and freaking out."
"You will Sherlock, like I said you just need to give it time. I'll take everything back to the shed. Go spend time with your daughter, the week's almost over and she will be back at school before you know it."
Sherlock handed the box of jars back to his dad and walked into the house to find Molly and Sam watching a film. "Your Mum is still out shopping, and Mycroft had to head back to London due to some important meeting so we thought we would watch a movie," Molly informed him.
"Would you like to join us?" Sam asked.
Movies weren't normally his thing but something in him couldn't deny that he wanted to sit down with them and watch.
"Okay." Sherlock smiled as he sat down next to Sam.
"You haven't missed much," she told him, passing a bowl of popcorn for him to grab a handful which he gladly accepted.
"No spoilers though, Sherlock. I remember what you were like in university, never could go to the cinema without you predicting how the whole thing was going to turn out," Molly said to him.
"That was one time," the detective spoke with a mouth full of popcorn.
"Shhh, I'm trying to watch the movie," Sam said, getting annoyed.
"Sorry," both her parents said at once. All three of them turned their attention back to the film, silently enjoying every moment of it.
When the week was over Sherlock was sad, though he would never admit that out loud to anyone. He was glad that his parents had forced him to go because now he felt closer to Sam and he had more of a chance at being a better person in her life.
When Sam got back to her room at boarding school late Sunday evening, she found being back on her own at school with no family around gave her time to think. She was slowly getting her head around having Sherlock in her life. He was nice and trying his best, Sam thought, but a part of her deep down was scared of getting seriously hurt again, which was something she didn't want. All she knew was that she didn't want to get hurt.
I'm at school in one piece. Wish it was half term again. Miss you. S xxx
Sam texted her mum it wasn't long before she got a reply.
That's good to hear love, I miss you too, not long till summer and I will see you in a couple of weeks. Love you - Mum xxx
Sam smiled to herself, imagine her mum at work on a break with a cup of tea and biscuits with the long lab coat the always looked like a cape. A cape Sam thought that reminded her of Sherlock's coat from the pictures and stories her mum told her about when she was younger.
Thinking of Sherlock, she hadn't messaged him since leaving London and thought he might like to know that she got to school safely.
Got to school okay. I had a nice time last week. Hope you solve a few good cases- S xxx
It took her a moment, then she decided to delete the kisses off the text. It didn't seem right to send that to him. Not yet anyway. Once editing the text she hit send. Sam stared at the screen, her train of thought was broken as her roommate Jen came through the door.
"Oh Sam, it's good to see you," Jen said as she dumped her bag on her bed. "I know this must sound stupid but I'm glad to be back here. Family stuff has just been awful."
"I'm sorry about your aunt. Is she going to be okay?"
Jen's mood dropped slightly. "They have her stable for now but it's just a waiting game. But enough about me. How are you? Stacey texted me that you left school in the middle of the night. What happened there?"
Sam blushed. She knew there was no chance she could ever tell the truth. "It's complicated - family stuff, you know what it's like."
Jen narrowed her eyes. There was something Sam was not saying but knew this was not the time to ask more. "Yeah. Can't pick your family."
"Tell me about it." Sam smiled. "Was your half term okay? Well, considering everything?"
Jen turned away from Sam started to unpack her bag "Apart from that it was okay. Well how about you? Your half term any good?"
Sam felt her phone buzz and looked at the screen. She had a text from Sherlock.
Seems Mycroft's people are capable of getting you to places safely. I had a pleasant week too. I'm sure an interesting case will happen soon. Try not to get up to too much trouble at school. We wouldn't want Molly being upset at you - SH
Sam smiled to herself as she stared to text out a reply.
Can't promise about not getting into trouble - S
"Sam," Jen shouted. "Hello, earth to Sam Hooper."
Sam looked up quickly. "Sorry, what?"
"Did you have a good half term?"
Sam looked at her phone again as another text came through. "Yeah I really did." she looked at the text as her roommate asked another question.
"Want to head to dinner?"
Sam read the text from Sherlock and smiled "Yeah, I'm starving." Getting up off her bed she put her phone in her pocket and headed to the dinner hall with her roommate in tow. As they walked the text from Sherlock ran around her mind.
You're a Holmes. Trouble always finds you - SH.
Notes: So that was the week at the Holmes. Do you think this is going to help Sam and Sherlock? Hope you liked this chapter, feedback is always lovely and very much appreciated and always helps.
As always thanks to goodshipsherlollipop for beta reading this for me. Thank you :-)