Yeah I'm back, you asked, I finally gave you an update
I've gotten a new job, and soon I'm taking classes which takes up a lot of my time. I hope you like this long awaited update, we get to see Mikasa as part of team Jean. Growing friendships with Connie, Sasha and Marco and how that would affect her life.
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Mikasa sat in silence on the porch of the canteen munching away happily at the gift Jean gave her. During his time in the kitchen as part of his chores, he had learned how to make homemade cookies out of leftovers, while not getting caught by Shadis. They weren't anything special, just plain cookies but golden brown and baked to perfection. He had snaffled them away inside his clothes and given them to her during dinner the previous night. He knew how much trouble he could get into by doing this. To get on Shadis bad side was a nightmare, he was not someone you wanted to fuck with. Though they respected him as a soldier and mentor, many of the students were terrified of the wrath of Shadis. Which is why Jean was skating on such thin ice here.
There had been people who couldn't take the pressure so they left to work in the fields, the psychological pressure too much for them to handle. Worrying about being good enough to serve in the military and Shadis breaking their spirit. Accepting themselves as cowards in his eyes, but not caring. They would happily work in the fields than face the hell of the battleground. Those who stayed and broke the rules were punished by Shadis, severely or simply hard work depending on the severity of their actions.
But that only proved how much she meant to him, if he was willing to dance with the danger of getting a scolding from Shadis. Remembering the crack of his skull when he was headbutted. God knows what Shadis would do knowing he was making cookies during his work hours in the kitchen. Going to all the trouble of making biscuits from scratch and then snaffling them away to give it to her. It was one of the cutest romantic gestures he had done in a long time. Remembering days of their childhood when they would sneak off and play together until her uncle took her home.
However, they meant the world to her. Ever since she was a child she had carried a sweet tooth for desserts, so she was delighted to be given such a gift. First the red ribbon and now a homemade snack. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world. She felt truly loved by him, the light of her life. The days she had spent all alone with her uncle, whom she also loved dearly. She had no friends and was simply aware of her future as a soldier, living out her days until she came of age. Until he came into her life, the day she saved him, she had fallen in love for the first time and she had never looked back since. Knowing that he was someone who made her forget she was ever alone.
She had come to learn that among many other talents, his mother was a great cook and taught him how to bake growing up. However due to the fact it wasn't seen as manly by the kids growing up, as a force of habit at the camps he kept them to himself. When she offered to share he explained he wanted her to have them. How he could always try to make more for herself, Marco and him to share together. Something she made him promise to do. That he would continue to make cookies, if not for her sake.
He never failed to surprise her or make her smile, whenever she was having a bad day she could rely on Jean to make it better. Making that promise to see each other again in the Military had come true. Making her believe that despite how cruel the world could be, miracles truly existed. Meeting Jean was proof of that fact. The boy with the beautiful eyes who thought that her hair was beautiful. Such a simple thing to cause romance to bloom, but she looked back on those days with a fondness. It was because of that, she never once cut her hair unless to tidy it. Because of the words that touched her heart.
Today, her hair was tied back into a ponytail that fell down to her shoulders, her long bangs framing her pale face. Bound with the red ribbon that Jean gave her, fastened into a small bow. Occasionally fingering it as a sign of affection to the boy who gave it to her. She knew it was antisocial to be sat out here alone eating cookies, but she was worried if she brought them inside people would want to share. Something she did not plan on doing, these were her special cookies. These were for her only. She was allowed to be selfish sometimes, she shared a bunk with several girls. She shared a shower, she shared a dining area etc. She was allowed to have her moments when she spent her time alone. Headspace was needed sometimes, to help her relax when things became too much.
Over the past week, as well as Marco she had made a few new friends through Jean too. Sasha Braus and Connie Springer, two other misfits in the camps. Connie was a jokester, outspoken and a bit of a showoff. However, he could be naïve at times but carried a heart of gold underneath. Despite his personality, he too also looked out for Mikasa. He knew about the fact she didn't like to talk about her uncle, as she didn't like how people only wanted to talk about him for selfish reasons. He respected her boundaries and instead tried to make her laugh, to make her smile, which she appreciated. Acting like her brother in a sense.
She had often desired for a sibling growing up, a brother or sister to share her love with. Remembering asking her mother where babies came from when she was little, but she never lived long enough to tell her. Now as an teenager she knew all too well about human sexuality and biology, Hanji had filled her in on all of that. She explained to her about all of this after the first time she got her period. In all honesty, Hanji became the mother she lost.
Connie knew what it was like to be a loner, an outsider. He often got harassed for his short stature and Latino roots, people often making fun of him. However, he was short but he could still kick someone's ass. He was more than he looked and a capable fighter/soldier. They had a unique connection of being the two few students with foreign roots outside of their home nation. He sometimes cursed in his mother's native tongue which she found funny.
Then there was Sasha, known as the potato thief around the camps due to Shadis catching her eating a potato. Though it was a one-time thing nobody let her forget it, she simply loved food. Her family background was that of hunters and foragers, so her love of good was expected. Sasha deeply admired Mikasa in a sisterly way, hoping to be as strong and mature as she was. She also helped Mikasa style her hair but admitted she was jealous of how fine it was compared to her own. But like Connie and Marco didn't treat her any different because of her status. In return, Mikasa was very protective of Sasha. She never let anyone tease her for how much she ate, her clumsiness or simple-minded nature. Sasha could always go to Mikasa about her problems and feel comfortable in sharing her insecurities without fear of being teased. Sometimes sharing her food with her given her large appetite when she had leftovers.
She had also developed a bond with Marco, who acted like family to both herself and Jean. He acknowledged the bond between herself and Jean, accepting they had a relationship he may not understand. But was also aware of their mutual crush on one another. He didn't treat her any different, knowing she hated being seen as the niece of a celebrity. The two often looking out for Jean and keeping him out of trouble, he reassured her when Jean was mad. She felt refreshed whenever she was around him, Marco was a ball of sunshine but also a very rational person who didn't take any of Jean's shit. She felt very blessed to have what she had now. Growing up after losing her family she had nobody, she had no friends and felt lonely. Then she met Jean, now she had a whole gang of friends who looked out for her. They all looked out for each other and she felt so spoiled. She had her own little family now.
Her uncle would be pleased, back when they lived together she spent a lot of her time alone. When she wasn't alone she was stuck to him at the hip and followed him around like a chick. However, this secretly made him happy though he would not deny it. Hanji however, acted like a hyperactive child if she acted the same way towards her. A small smile appeared on her face as she dwelled on this thought. She was with the boy she loved and made new brothers and sisters in the form of friends. As worried as she had been when she was first sent away, she was now starting to believe it had been for the best after all. She needed to write to her uncle soon and let him know how things were going. She had now been at the camps for a fortnight and had settled in somewhat. But she still missed him terribly, after all she had lived with him for at least 3 years until she was sent to military camp. He was her family.
"All alone today?" a familiar voice asked. Where was that guy that acted as her personal bodyguard? He seemed awfully eager to protect her that night, so where was he now? Was that all a show to look cool in front of her? He knew he had been right to be suspicious. There was something about him that seemed so fake like was hiding something. The only reason he acted so cocky was his looks. He bet the only reason he was nice to Mikasa was the hopes of getting into her pants. He wouldn't put it past a guy like him. He thought Mikasa was smarter than that, to get involved with a guy like Jean, given how strong she was.
Mikasa looked up, still eating a cookie. There standing in front of her was Eren, an annoyed look on his face. Why did he constantly act like he had a stick up his butt? Her life had separated from his over 3 years ago, why did he care so much? "I take it you aren't a morning person" she muttered bluntly. She wasn't going to let him ruin her morning. She had finally adapted to her new life, making new friend and accepting this place as a temporary home. She had no idea why Eren was so intrusive into her life or acted like a scorned lover. But she didn't appreciate it whatsoever, honestly wishing he would just leave her the hell alone.
Eren peered at her, spotting the red ribbon bound into her ponytail. So, was he marking her now or something. Dolling her up like some kind of prize? What a jackass. "Did he give you that? Telling you to tie it up because it looked a mess?" he growled. He remembered how long it was as kids, it really had suited her. But it was in the past for a reason, everything changed. She didn't have to keep her hair that way, she could change and become someone new. Why did she cling to it so desperately? For comfort or something? She looked creepy, her long hair like that. When she wore it down she looked like a ghost, she took care of it but it was still weird. He didn't like the person she was now, the long style made her look sad. She would feel so much lighter if she got rid of the long hair, she would at least look like a normal girl
Mikasa frowned, it was early and she was in no mood for this. She didn't appreciate Eren speaking crap about the boy she loved. "Actually Sasha helped me with her hair, I've found styling it like this really frames my face. Hanji used to style my hair growing up all the time too" she replied sharply. Of course, he wouldn't know that because he wasn't her friend. Levi had always ruffled her hair when she was sad, though he never said it she knew he thought it cute. He loved how Hanji always brushed and styled her hair like her mum used to. How Jean saw beauty in her despite how lonely she had been growing up. All three making her feel special.
Eren shifted, he had noticed the friends she had acquired lately. Some he liked more than others. Marco was a decent guy, though he didn't know what he saw in Jean. Connie was a smartass and sometimes naïve, but otherwise a good guy. Sasha was… an oddball to put it nicely, but a good girl. Since when had she thought of herself as an outcast, she had looked so happy to get that scarf growing up, part of him wished she hadn't said goodbye that day. After his mother died, he had been all alone aside from Armin.
She balled up her napkin and cookies, putting them in her pocket for safekeeping. Getting to her feet slowly, her cold gaze still focused on Eren. "You were part of my life briefly Eren. When I lived with my uncle Jean became my best friend and someone dear to me. You have no right to speak to him the way you do, nor tell me whom I can be friends with. You aren't my family, you don't own me" she warned. Eren saved her life when she was 10, that same day she went off to live with her uncle. Though she thought of him briefly, he was otherwise a stranger to her. While Jean had been her best friend and the two had eased their loneliness together. He had no right to act so possessively and aggressive towards her.
Eren clicked his teeth, a look of anger on his face. He just worried about her, how broken she had been that day when he saved her. He had worried about her life with her uncle and if she ever got over what happened to her. Yes, they were strangers but he still couldn't forget what happened that day. Especially what happened after his mum. He just cared about her is all, he knew that they were as broken as the other. He thought they could talk to each other and relate. But she had moved on now, she had forgotten him and had a new life. He couldn't help but he hurt that she had never remembered his face until now.
Mikasa got to her feet slowly, she had training with Jean and the others today. She wasn't going to waste her time here arguing with him pointlessly, he was throwing a tantrum over nothing. Walking past Eren in silence, she had nothing to say to him. Not unless he was going to be civil, she was in no mood to fight him. If he tried, she would put him on his ass anyway."It was good to see you Eren, but don't interfere with my life anymore". He had no right to tell her what to do, she could live her life as she wished.
"Geez, what an ass. After Sasha worked so hard to make it look nice" Connie huffed. He really didn't know what was Eren's problem, nor why he bossed Mikasa around so much. They were pretty much strangers, so he really was acting like a stalker. He had learned from Jean about their brief encounter as kids, he saved her, she left, she went to live with her uncle. Any connection they shared ended that day, why was that so hard for Eren to understand? It was a brief encounter than ended a long time ago.
Mikasa fingered the end of her ponytail quietly, Jean had given her confidence in herself growing up. Most people expected her to cut it off, but she never did due to the fact Jean thought it beautiful. Who didn't like compliments from their crush? Her sadness evident as her female friend spoke up "You shouldn't let him get you down Kasa-chan. He's just a jerk, some petty idiot" Sasha reassured her. What Mikasa did with her hair, who she was friends with and what she did with her time was her business, he had no right to make her feel bad.
Mikasa smiled softly, she really did love, Sasha. Though not many people knew it, she could be a little tough cookie. She was very intuitive and very capable, but people tended to notice her flaws more. "Arigato Sasha" she thanked her, she really was a good friend. She really didn't understand this behaviour from Eren at all, they carried no connection to each other whatsoever. After the day her uncle came to take her away, she never saw him again. He was just a random memory from her childhood, a face that came into her life. He had no business getting so aggressive and competitive, she had her own life and other people close to her.
Sasha abruptly hugged Mikasa, wrapping her arms around her and looking up at her with puppy-dog eyes. "You have us, Mikasa, if that jerk ever bothers you again we will take care of him. From what I hear, he's just some loner jerk" she reassured her. He was always picking fights with other trainees and trying to show off like he was some tough cookie. If Mikasa was feeling down, she would keep hugging her until she felt happy again. After all she had done for her, she would always do her best to return the favour.
"Someone giving Mikasa a hard time?" a familiar voice asked. He and Jean had been looking for her, given the last time they checked she was sat outside the barracks. But when they came out to find her she had disappeared making them worry. They looked up to see Marco and Jean approaching, they had decided to do training as a team today. Take it in turns to fight against each other to learn new skills. Then again in the beginning, it had been simply the three of them. The three musketeers as thick as thieves. Now they had become their own little squad.
"Just that Yeager guy giving Mikasa shit again, I have no idea how he knows her. Mikasa sure as hell doesn't seem to" Connie replied bluntly, confusion evident in his tone. Eren didn't seem like a bad guy but he definitely had an attitude problem, which he really needed to work on. He knew Mikasa could handle herself, but if she ever needed help he would never hesitate to defend her. Eren had been bang out of order to harass her about her friends and her crush on Jean.
Marco looked worried, that day when Eren approached Mikasa she seemed scared and confused. It was clear she recognized him but their past seemed to be anything but good-natured. Making him wonder if he was abusive to her in some way at all. He knew Jean wouldn't be happy about this and he had every right to be upset. He had known Mikasa since they were kids after all, she was someone very close to him and a girl he loved more than anyone. Why wouldn't he be mad about a random guy interfering with their relationship.
"Did he say anything? Did he hurt you?" Jean asked impatiently. He knew Mikasa could handle herself, but he didn't trust Eren. Ever since he had made himself known he had been acting very aggressive, like a bully even. Something he would not tolerate. Mikasa shifted, an annoyed look on her face. Her morning had been quiet and peaceful, then Eren had to open his big mouth and act like he was her friend. If he cared about her at all, he would leave her alone. She wasn't his friend, he didn't mean anything to her.
She continued to finger her ponytail, averting her gaze from his. He didn't hurt her physically but he had emotionally, to hear such cruel words from him. She hated anyone speaking about Jean badly, he was a sweetheart and would never hurt her. She knew this, she knew him, she knew what kind of guy he was. Mikasa didn't need Eren trying to tell her what kind of guy he thought Jean was out of spite and jealousy, he was acting like a petty child.
Jean became worried, seeing her hesitation. Had that guy said something awful to make her feel bad about herself. He would punch his damn lights out, he knew Mikasa hated violence and he tried to restrain his temper. But when it came to people hurting her, he would never tolerate it. Mikasa had made him happy when he was at his worst, the only friend he had ever known. Finally being reunited with her all these years later, it had been a dream come true to him. His days without her after had been the loneliest of his life.
"He gave Mikasa crap about her hair because she always wears it in a bow. I heard around camp that he's been saying she should cut it off. Because it looks like a mess long" Sasha explained. Who the hell was he to tell Mikasa how she should present herself, it was her choice. There were times when Eren could be a real jerk towards both men and women. There were few people who liked Eren because he knew how to get under their skin, how to annoy the hell out of people but never apologized for being a jerk.
Jean's expression darkened, he had always loved Mikasa's long hair ever since they were kids. Even more so now that they were all grown up, yet that bastard was making her feel like shit for it. He had no right telling Mikasa how she should act or look. He knew growing up she had spoken to her uncle about styling her hair especially for the days she would come to trost. Even his mum had pointed out how cute she was, falling for her at first sight. When his mother found out Sasha was also joining the military, she had urged him to confess how he felt about her. Saying she would make a cute daughter in law.
Mikasa saw his expression and became worried, she reached out to take his arm and shook her head. He was better and bigger than this, it wasn't worth wasting his time over. She didn't want him to get into a fight because Eren was a jerk, "I put him in his place. Don't worry about it, don't get yourself involved with him being petty". This was Eren's attitude problem, not his. She wasn't getting involved with Eren and neither would he, it would benefit them both positively to just avoid him altogether.
Jean softened like always Mikasa was right. But he couldn't help himself, what guy could tolerate his crush being spoken down to by another guy. He just cared about her so much and hated to see someone else making her so unhappy. She deserved to smile all the time. "Sorry. I'm trying to control my temper better, I just… hate bullies" he apologized. He knew better than anyone how cruel their words could be. How demeaning it felt to be at the mercy of some jerk who loved to make you miserable.
Mikasa smiled sweetly, she knew how painful the bullying Jean dealt with as a child had been. How it severely damaged his self-confidence and how lonely he had been. Without her, she dreaded to think of what kind of person she could have grown up to be. "I know, thank you for caring Jean. I'm glad I have someone like you by my side" she thanked. He really was a sweet guy. He was like the sun breaking through the clouds after a rainstorm, the rainbow in the sky when it rained and the sun shone.
Marco smiled, these two would make such a sweet couple one day. Now if only they would get the balls to confess to each other that would be great. He wouldn't force them to confess, but he could poke the fire. Try and get these two together by pulling some strings. Jean was very protective over Mikasa and obviously loved her a great deal. He was noticeably gentler and mature when he was around her. He controlled his temper and acted rationally. Showing she had a good influence on him. Mikasa was shy and awkward around Jean. But she was always kind, loving and very motherly around him. But was very protective, defensive and had a great deal of trust in him. Her confidence and openness were all thanks to his positive effect.
"Ok time to kick some butt. Who's teaming up with who first? Rock paper scissors?" Connie cut in abruptly. He knew that if Mikasa and Jean were left to flirt all day they would never be able to get anything done. These two were so in love it was painful, but he was happy for them. They had work to do, they were supposed to be training their skills to prove they belonged in this place. They would never pass if they didn't work hard.
"I get Kasa-chan first!" Sasha argued. She loved sparring with Mikasa, she was a good teacher to her. She helped boost her confidence and helped her realize her talents that as a person she was unaware of. Because of her, she had learned so much as a soldier. While people doubted why she was even here and that she was a useless soldier, Mikasa made her realize her potential, her worth and her power. When she made a mistake she never got mad, only teaching her to learn from it.
"You can't just choose like that, you have to play fair!" Connie argued. That wasn't how the game worked, though he admired Sasha's honesty, you had to play by the rules. Just because she favoured Mikasa, didn't mean she got her first. They all took turns equally, they swapped so everyone got a turn sparring with the other. They were supposed to work as a team and Sasha wasn't helping. She was clinging to Mikasa too much and needed to learn to give her some space sometimes.
Sasha pouted, but sulkily agreed, but why did Connie have to spoil all her fun like that? She always loved joking about with Connie, he was her best friend. But Mikasa was her only female friend, their bond was different. Mikasa taught her it was ok to be different and that she wasn't as weak as people told her she was. Connie taught her it was ok to be a dork and she should never change for anyone. They were both important to her for different reasons.
"I don't mind" Mikasa argued, honestly she just wanted to start training already. She knew Sasha would sulk if she didn't get the first choice and she wanted to avoid that. There were rare moments when Sasha could be childish but she was used to it. I mean they shared bunks, sometimes she would wake up to Sasha's arm in her face or using her as a pillow.
"No, it's only fair Mikasa. Now on the count of three" Marco agreed. They had a lot to do today and Sasha couldn't hog her all the time. They needed to work on their training and Sasha taking up all her time wouldn't help. Sasha pouted but agreed, releasing her grip from Mikasa and joining the circle. She just loved Mikasa so much, she was like the sister she never had. She always felt so happy when she was around her, she could be herself without judgement.
"Looks like Mikasa kicked your ass again Sasha. But you held up longer than usual" Connie joked. She had certainly got more stamina than she appeared to, seemed her laziness was just a front of not wanting to put in the effort, not that she was actually lazy. Sasha had jumped, dodged and leapt at Mikasa, trying to avoid her kicks. She had good intuitive survival skills, but she needed to learn how to attack. She couldn't run from every fight and needed to learn how to fight physically.
Sasha pouted, she had dodged Mikasa and managed to grip her sword hand a couple of times. But left openings due to focusing on one situation and not all possible outcomes, causing her to lose the fight more than once. She was good at hand to hand combat, but she still had a lot to learn. She got enough crap from other trainees for being dorky, useless or pretending she didn't know anything. Yes, she wasn't a moron but she could have her simple moments. She was quick-witted but she wasn't a genius, in fact, she could be rather oblivious.
Mikasa ruffled Sasha's head affectionately "You've improved Sasha. You're quicker on your feet and you listen to your intuition more. But you still question yourself and don't consider vulnerable spots. Consider all options" she reminded her. Do what felt right in a fight, never question herself. Sasha nodded, she really felt like she was learning because of her. Ymir asked her what she was doing at the camps like she was a waste of time. Happily mocking her for being false, never really considering how much her words were hurting Sasha. That she felt bad enough already.
"Don't spoil her too much Mikasa, it'll go to her head" Connie joked. But he was glad Mikasa looked out for Sasha, not many people did. She was a lot more vulnerable as a person than she looked. They could have been mistaken for sisters with how close the two of them were. Sasha was often the hyperactive one while Mikasa was down to earth. They balanced each other out and acted as polar opposites, which was why they worked so well together.
"Mikasa won't mind, she used to cling to me all the time as kids" Jean reassured him. She was always so happy to see him when they used to meet up. But they were some of the happiest moments for him too. Knowing she cared so much about him. There was a long silence in the group, Sasha calming down and everyone looking at him in awe. Their eyes wide with surprise, a smirk slowly spreading across Connie's face and Marco trying not to laugh. Jean slowly realizing what he just said and feeling like a moron.
His cheeks reddened and he bowed his head shyly "I… I mean… that is… fuck" he muttered shakily. God what was he babbling about, he shouldn't have said anything at all. He had dug himself into a hole here and there was no way of getting himself out. He never really gloated or showed off about the memories of his past, but this one had just slipped out so naturally. He felt so comfortable around her, he could just speak his mind so easily because of it.
"Oo, so you put the moves on each other way back then. Way to go Jean" Connie teased. But he was glad to know she had been looking out for him. He heard from Marco about all the crap he endured as a kid and it really pissed him off. Kids could be such jerks sometimes. He never really understood or tolerated the toxic masculinity that if a girl protected a boy it made him look weak. Mikasa had protected him because she obviously loved him, she had kept him safe from a bunch of brutal kids that could have otherwise killed him if they went too far.
Jean rubbed the gap between his eyes, shielding his face from the others. You know one of those awkward moment when you wish you could disappear to get out of a situation? That was pretty much his entire mindset in that moment, hoping and praying he could get out of the situation he had just put himself in. He really wished he hadn't said anything because he now looked like a fool. He could have chosen to say anything else and not making it obvious of how much he liked Mikasa and looking like a dork.
Mikasa blushed, hiding her face behind her bangs shyly. Her cheeks flushing a shade of red that matched her scarf and ribbon. She had just been so worried that someone else would hurt him again if she wasn't around. Seeing his tear-stained face covered in scrapes and bruises saddened her greatly. "I… I just wanted to keep you safe" she mumbled defensively. She pulled up her scarf, hiding her face inside its fuzzy content. Wanting to conceal how awkward she looked right now, but it helped to know Jean was just as awkward as her sometimes.
Sasha peered at Mikasa, taking in the fact she was hiding her face like a small child who had been scolded by their parents. She had never seen her make such a face like this before "Kasa-chan are you blushing?" she asked abruptly. She didn't think she had seen Mikasa's shy side before, she had to admit she looked rather adorable like this. Her usual pale face filled with colour, matching her scarf and ribbon. She would never forget the look on either of their faces.
Mikasa stiffened, her body turning rigid like a deer caught in headlights. She had never really tolerated awkward situations very well, but then again she wasn't used to being the centre of attention. She panicked and tended to close off, usually when it was focused at her. Yes, though you would never think it, she was capable of being very shy. She wished she could disappear right now, that or someone could pose a distraction to get the attention away from her.
Marco snorted, trying to cup his face, these two were so adorable it was painful. Mikasa wanted to protect him but was too shy to confess she even liked him. Acting more on impulse and her feelings, yet never brave enough to tell him she loved him. She had probably never even experienced love before now, which made it even better. Jean was so clearly in love with Mikasa, which is why he was so protective and short tempered. He wanted to make her happy, keep her safe and felt comfortable around her. He took his actions around her into consideration and even avoided getting into fights for her sake. He was like a puppy dog, following her around everywhere.
Connie peered at the two of them, he had never seen Jean act so mushy before. Hell, this was the first time he had seen Mikasa act so bashful. They were acting really out of character. But he could recognize how much these two liked each other and he was happy for them. "Alright, let's get out of here. We keep standing around we're gonna get sunburn in this heat" he groaned. He knew that sounded childish a little, but it helped divert the attention away from Mikasa and caused a new topic of conversation, knowing she was uncomfortable.
Mikasa sat on her bed in silence, her eyes scanning the paper in her hand like a lifeline. Her uncle had sent his first letter to her since she was sent to the camps. She was so happy to hear from him at last that she wanted to cry from utter joy. Sometimes worrying he had forgotten all about her. I mean back when she was a kid she had sought his constant attention, but as she got older she distanced herself but still loved him dearly. Worrying if he was sleeping ok or that he was eating well, he was sometimes forgetful.
Dear Mikasa
Hanji had been riding my ass about checking up on you, she probably misses you more than I do. It's taking all of my energy to stop her from running away to visit you at the camps. You'd never think she was a grown adult woman. Damn shitty glasses. I'd keep an eye out for a crazed adult woman running through the camps looking for you.
I know you're doing well and working hard, I know you are a focused girl and will follow your heart to do what's right. As my niece, I know how alike we are. We don't show our feelings well, but we feel with all our hearts. It's been quieter around here since you left, I miss sharing tea with you. The bed is bigger since you grew up, watching you sleep while I would be working at your bedside. You grew up too fast.
I hope you and that chubby dork found each other, that kid loves you that much I know. I'll have to come to visit to make sure you are keeping out of trouble. I don't want you to lose focus on what is important. You had a future ahead of you, one you never asked for but one that we will face together, as family. I sent you a package of tea, there should be enough to share once. I can't always sneak this away to you, so look after it. Just a reminder of home, knowing how much you miss it. Come home soon shitty brat
Love uncle Levi
Mikasa smiled in amusement, her uncle missed her as much as she did. She could imagine him sitting at his window sipping tea in silence, a mess of papers all around him. She looked forward to going home and being reunited with them all, to see their happy faces. "Just say you miss me you dumbass" she chuckled, she could imagine Hanji teasing him like mad. After the loss of her parents, Hanji and her uncle became her new guardians, mending the hole in her heart that was caused as a child.
Sasha came wondering over, a look of curiosity on her face. "Whatcha reading Kasa-chan?". She wondered who that letter was from, was it a love letter from Jean? It would explain why she was smiling so much, a letter from her crush and all. She was all holed up here in her bed, keeping to herself, which was normal when someone wanted privacy or alone time. Mikasa had her quiet moments after all. But she couldn't help but be a little curious all the same, she as just that kind of a person.
"My uncle wrote to me, he sent me some tea to share with everyone" Mikasa explained, waving the packet in the air. She didn't know how many of them would like it. But she would happily share all the same, it would go well with Jean's cookies too. She couldn't possibly drink it all by herself and that much tea would make her use the bathroom a lot. She wanted the people she cared about to enjoy it with her, good things were meant for sharing after all.
Sasha softened, though the prospect of cookies and tea sounded great. She was worried about Mikasa, being so far away from the only relative she had. It must have been really lonely for her. "You wanna talk about it? It helps when you're having a bad day" she offered. She could always tell when Mikasa was having a bad day, she was broodier and quieter than usual. She seemed distant and didn't speak much, compared to how much friendlier and warm she usually was.
Mikasa looked up silently, she always appreciated what a good friend Sasha was. Always going out of her way to cheer her up when she was down. Never allowing Mikasa to suffer in silence, even if other people told her to drop it and leave her be. She had a big heart and never failed to show she cared, always wanting to be supportive of her best friends needs. She shifted on the bed to create some space for the two of them and patted the mattress, gesturing her to sit down beside her.
Sasha sat down on the bed obediently, her brown eyes eager and yet determined. Someone else would tell her she was being annoying, but she knew Mikasa wasn't like that. She would always tell her if she wanted personal space, they were friends after all. She handed Sasha the letter silently, not speaking a word. Allowing the brunette to scan the letter for herself, an amused grin spreading across her face. She eventually looked up trying not to laugh "He must really love you" she teased.
Though she had never met the infamous Levi Ackerman herself, he seemed to care a lot about his niece. He seemed like the stubborn type, who would never admit that openly. It seemed to share this awkwardness with his niece, which only further proved the fact they were related. But Mikasa was definitely loved by him, she was his precious niece, his only one at that. "So he knows about you and Jean too. Seems he is trying to pair you two up more than we are, was nice of him to send the gift too" she teased.
Mikasa blushed, her uncle had once been very protective over her as a kid because she had a crush on Jean. But now that she was a trainee, he seemed ok with them pursuing each other. Deep down she expected he wanted her to be happy, he just didn't want her to grow up too soon. It would be his birthday soon, given she was now 12 he was turning 32. He would be celebrating without her which made her feel sad. No doubt Hanji would be spoiling him like mad to make up for the fact that she wasn't around. But she doubted he would be eager about her hooking up with Jean too soon.
"So tea party? We can sneak into the kitchen and eat cookies!" Sasha suggested. She had heard about Jean's homemade cookies and wanted to try some. There was no way they would get this kind of high-quality tea again. They had to make the most of it. Mikasa smiled, that sounded good. She knew Sasha wouldn't let it go and after this morning it would be a nice distraction. She nodded in agreement, placing the letter under her pillow and grabbed her red cardigan to keep her warm.
Connie, Marco and Jean tiptoed out of the bunks in silence, they had heard about Mikasa getting a letter and gift from her uncle. She had explained she wanted to share it despite the protest that it belonged to her, but she insisted that was what she wanted. They often agreed to midnight meetups given things were boring at the bunks. Sometimes they told ghost stories, talked about their life back home or their dreams. Yeah, not always was it very interesting, sometimes they played truth or dare but that was rare. They had to get creative sometimes.
Bertholdt and Reiner were fast asleep in their bunks, they were early birds and kept to themselves. Not very talkative people and yet were like the big brothers of the group. They were respectful towards them but never really kept a close connection to them. Reiner helped people improve their fighting stance, broke up fights and kept people level headed. I mean he was older than the younger scouts so it came with a level of maturity on his end, which they admired.
Jean had a big collection of cookies, enough for all of them this time. He had collected as much leftovers as he could from the kitchens and baked them into cookies. I mean they were still plain but they were baked well and he used brown sugar as that was best for baking. So they didn't have to worry about running out of them too quickly. Given how Sasha would wolf them down like a wild animal. Keeping them close to his chest protectively, not wanting to drop them, in case someone woke up.
Connie opened the door slowly, holding a blanket in tow. If anyone got cold it was big enough to share for a couple of people. Couldn't be too careful after all. But they had to make sure not to get caught or they would be in big trouble. He made sure everyone else got out of the door first, he was the smallest so he was the fastest. They were the lookout given he couldn't see behind them, though he was excited about sneaking out he worried about being caught. Connie then closed the door behind him in silence, making sure the door didn't creak and wake anyone up.
Eren slowly opened his eye silently, he had heard Jean's team mumbling and shuffling about but stayed still. He wondered where they were all sneaking off to so late at night. Marco was a good boy and tended to avoid unnecessary trouble. Making him wonder what Connie and Jean were up to. He got the feeling they were up to no good, maybe sneaking booze out of the cellar and sneaking off to drink some. That would make sense, it was all part of making the memories here. He quietly sneaked out of his bunk and crept down the ladder, walking up to the window to peer out.
Jean, Connie and Marco were carrying a blanket and a package, wandering off in the direction of the barn. Making him consider that he had been correct on the booze situation. If they got caught by Shadis they were screwed, the idea of Jean getting into trouble amusing him. He approached the door in silence, intrigued to see where they were sneaking off to.
Connie, Marco and Jean stood awkwardly by the giant barn. This place was mainly to hold feed for the horses or for when it got cold in the winter. In the warmer seasons like now, it was just a decoration. They had a small lantern to keep things bright but were cautious not to cause a fire. It was still cold, being early spring late winter but it was starting to get warmer again. Though it was still cold in the evenings, which was why they brought blankets to keep warm.
Connie jumped about on his feet to keep warm, his breath was heavy in the air. He had no idea of how they were going to brew the tea, but it was too late to go back now. Shadis could find them, leaving them in deep shit. The prospect of being caught by Shadis was both frightening and exhilarating, it was admittedly a little fun aside from the temperature "Damn cold" he muttered, god he couldn't wait for summer to come along. The weather would get warmer at night, given it was still early spring it was only hot during the day.
"You have a blanket" Marco replied bluntly, nodding at the object in Connie's arms. He didn't need to dance around like a moron to keep warm, he would attract attention that way. What would happen if she bumped into something, the sound would echo for miles and Shadis would undoubtedly hear it. Sometimes he could be really dense. What other reason did they have for lugging a great thing like that with them for? They weren't making a blanket fort out here.
"Not really in the mood for a cape" Connie argued. The blanket would be huge on him, a lot of things were. He couldn't help being short in stature, blame puberty for being so bad at helping him become an adult. When it came to height, he definitely got the short straw on this, all of his classmates were already shooting up like stalks in a damn field. While he was still behind in that area, but he made up for that with his personality. Short size, big attitude.
Eventually, they heard quickened footsteps, heavy breaths and light giggling. Knowing the girls were approaching bringing them relief, though they wondered what could be so funny. But then again girls had their private jokes. Mikasa and Sasha then appeared, Mikasa carrying a large copper kettle and Sasha holding food and logs. Sometimes it really did help to have someone like Sasha as a friend. They were a little like midnight cat burglars, sneaking around and stealing things without getting caught.
"Did anyone see you?" Marco asked if they got caught and told on by anyone they were going to be in so much trouble. Shadis was a very strict guy and god knows what kind of punishment they would get for this. Mikasa shook her head, sneaking around was something that came naturally to her. If they got caught she could easily knock the follower out. They would never remember a thing the following morning, but she understood his worry all the same.
"C'mon I want tea and cookies" Sasha whined. She wanted to try some of Jean's homemade baked goods and some of the tea that Mikasa's uncle sent. If they stood out here too long they would look suspicious. She wasn't going to let Mikasa's donation go to waste. Who knew when they would have another chance like this again, after this it was back to soup and bread, which admittedly got boring after a while. The contents tended to differ but it all started to taste the same after a while.
Connie sighed and opened the door, letting Sasha in first while the others followed suit. Closing the door behind him, at least after this he could try and enjoy the evening. It was nice to relax once in a while. Meanwhile, Eren watched from the distance suspiciously. He had no idea why Mikasa was holding a kettle and package while Sasha had logs. What on earth were they up to? Did they have drugs or something? Whatever it was, he had a bad feeling about this.
"Woah, this tea is great. I could get used to this" Connie praised eagerly. He had never really drunk much tea in the past, rather preferring milk or something else. But this was high-quality tea, Mikasa's uncle knew his stuff. If he could send more care packages that would be great. It would be a nice change of pace compared to the crap they ate around here. Not always did the food get eaten due to the fact everyone was either bored of it or it tasted awful.
"It soothes my soul, and it tastes great with the cookies" Sasha sighed. All of her stresses and worries no longer meant a thing, floating away like fluffy clouds in the breeze. She would love it if they could have little tea parties together more often. The cups may not have been the fanciest, compared to what the Military police could use, but she was still grateful all the same. Because she could enjoy something nice with the people she loved, sitting in the light of the fire with a hot drink.
"Thanks for this Mikasa, it's a nice relief from training" Marco thanked. None of them had much time to relax since becoming trainees. They all had responsibilities which left them weary, grouchy and fed up. When they weren't training their bodies and skills, they were cleaning the stables or sorting out the gear. This was a much-needed stress relief and good bonding for all of them. But getting caught was a caution they needed to look out for. If Shadis didn't catch them then some sneak would rat them out.
Jean said nothing, simply sipping his tea in peace. It reminded him of living with his mother, on a bad rainy day they would sit at the table and drink tea to warm themselves up. Though this was better quality than the stuff he used to drink back home. But it brought back pleasant memories, reminding him of how much he missed his mum, how worried she would be about him. Her sitting all alone in that house, worrying about if he was ok or not.
Mikasa smiled shyly "I'm glad you like it. I'll tell my uncle when I write back, he'll be glad to know I've made friends". This was her first time brewing tea so she was very glad it turned out right the first time. There weren't a lot of things she learned from him growing up, but how to make tea was one. She had been worried about being a loner in this place, the only person she knew was Jean. But now she had been blessed with a team of people who cared about her. She didn't know she could be surrounded by so much happiness in her life.
"We should do this more often, tea night.." Connie suggested. "Just the five of us hanging out with good tea and baked goods. I could see this becoming a regular thing". It was nothing fancy, just a group of friends getting together and enjoying tea like a family. It felt comforting, something normal despite their future as fighters. Being able to enjoy more positive moments to help distract them from the fear and unknown dangers they would face once they left this place. Everyone knew that joining the military was no joke.
"Cookie night, I'm all up for that" Sasha mumbled with a mouthful of cookies. She had never been much of a tea fan but this stuff tasted great. Just being able to spend time with her friends like this in secret was fun, breaking a couple of rules. It was their own personal secret. They had their own club that only they were allowed to be part of, the outcasts, the misfits. She liked the sound of that a lot, it was something they could all share together.
"We had better not get caught, Shadis would ride our asses" Marco sniggered. He wasn't much of a fun loving guy, he radiated intimidating and don't fuck with me attitude. Getting on his bad side was a dangerous thing to do. So they had to be sure to keep this secret well hidden. I mean sure he was bound to get suspicious but as long as they didn't give the game away, they could keep getting away with this.
"Cookie night it is, let's do this" Jean agreed. They were all depressed, bored and stressed. Knowing that their future would be anything but pretty, careers like this changed you and more often than not for the better. Their bodies being pushed to the limit to become weapons to protect the civilians from the beasts beyond the wall. They were training to become soldiers to fight cannibal giants with the possibility of death, they were kids facing a war that would be life-threatening. All the while trying to get through puberty and figure out themselves. Yeah, that was more than anyone needed on their shoulders.
Mikasa nodded, she hadn't had this much fun in a long time. She had finally found people she felt comfortable and happy around, a while ago the only friend she had around here was Jean. She wasn't going to give this up, she was willing to risk getting into trouble for moments like this. Besides, sneaking around and breaking the rules was a little thrilling. She knew she was doing something bad, that this was something she shouldn't be doing, but she was enjoying taking the risk.
Connie raised his cup proudly "I hereby mark this night of many late night tea parties to come" he stated. Sitting with a kettle, a small fire and good company, what more could you ask for. He hadn't felt this comfortably happy with another person in a long time. The others raised their cups proudly, clicking their cups together and laughing. Tonight had been fun, allowing them to bond further. Mikasa forgetting she was ever in a bad mood, being able to enjoy this moment with her friends.
Marco held the kettle close to him since Mikasa brought it he may as well take it back. If he was quick, he could sneak back with the kettle and then back to the bunks without getting caught. If he was, he would say he got thirsty and couldn't find a bucket. I mean people had done worse things that steal a kettle, all sorts of rumors of what bunkmates had been up to while caught, some had even been in the middle of a romp which was even harder to explain. Compared to that, their antics were innocent.
"Thanks for the cookies, Jean. They were great" Sasha thanked him. She had no idea Jean was so good in the kitchen, maybe if he helped out more the food would taste better. He could help improve things around here for everyone. I mean she ate what she was given, back home she did a lot of foraging but it would be nice if they put more effort into the food. Added some love and better flavour, instead of just mass produced slop.
"Man, I forgot how much fun campfires could be. Nice distraction from all this serious crap" Connie agreed. Back to the barracks, back to bed and then up early for more draining work. Well, at least he could treasure this memory and look back on it and laugh. Connie and Marco started off ahead first, leaving Sasha, Connie and Mikasa alone together. Wanting the two to have some romantic time before they had to part ways for the night. Being the thoughtful friends that they were.
"Kasa-chan? Aren't you coming?" Sasha asked in concern, it was late and they had to get back to the barracks. Nobody in their bunks would tell on them, but if they got caught they would be in deep trouble. Mikasa was good at talking herself out of trouble, she was good at making excuses as she was smart. But she hated to leave her behind while she went off alone. She hated to admit it, but she was a little afraid of the dark too as childish as that was.
"I'll follow you in a bit" Mikasa reassured her. She wanted to have a little bit of time to talk with Jean. Tonight had really been wonderful, she had never experienced a campfire before. It had really been a lot of fun. She didn't know how many more happy moments they would have before graduation, and she wanted to make the most of it. After all, she knew better than anyone how cruel the world could be, how quickly you could lose everything you loved.
Sasha blinked, peered at the two then nodded understandably. She wanted some alone time with Jean, given she had spent the past couple of hours with herself and the others. "Just don't get caught" she warned before heading off to follow the boys, hoping to keep them out of trouble. She gave Mikasa a quick wink of good luck which made Mikasa blush, again Sasha was not as dense as people made her out to be.
Jean shifted, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. He didn't know what to say now that he was alone with her. But tonight had been a lot of fun, kicking back with good friends and laughter. He never thought he would ever have so many companions as a kid. "I… uh. tonight was nice. Just hanging out…" he babbled. She had looked genuinely happy, laughing and smiling so naturally. He loved seeing her like that, knowing that despite her scars she still carried a sweet girl deep down inside.
Mikasa smiled shyly, a soft hum under her breath. The tea really had been good and Jean's cookies had been a nice compliment. She wouldn't mind doing it again, creating their own little secret club. "Yeah… it was nice" she agreed. Back when she was a kid, she had never really been old enough to appreciate tea. But she now understood why her uncle liked it so much. Coming home to something like this after a long day on the battlefield, it was a comforting feeling. Bringing people together.
"Y'know they really do like you. Sasha, Connie and Marco, they really care about you" he reassured her. They loved her as much as he did, though not romantically. More platonic, like family. She had a lot of people who cared about her. She had changed all their lives for the better, she taught him it was ok to wear your heart on your sleeve, she helped Sasha gain confidence in herself, she taught Marco to not shoulder all the responsibility and to connie to teach people to not be deceived by appearances.
"I know… I feel truly blessed. It's selfish, but I can't help but never want to let them go" she confessed. She didn't want them to befriend anyone else. Just to stay part of this team alongside Jean. They could all be a team together. They would only ever need each other, their own little world that nobody else could enter. They were all misfits, seen as unusual or weird by their teammates, but that was what they embraced together, the fact that they were oddballs.
Jean shook his head, he felt the same way sometimes "Nah, it's not selfish. After what we've both been through, we crave attention and affection. It's a longing for a peaceful life". They both had their scars and issues, but they had found happiness in other ways. The loneliness they once felt on their own, the clawing insecurities at the back of their minds, none of that mattered anymore. Because they had each other, because together none of those things mattered.
Mikasa reached out her hand and gripped his hand affectionately, she really had enjoyed tonight. She always found herself at her happiest when she was by his side. She knew it was a little unfair but he was her favourite out of the team, given she had known him the longest. "Thank you, Jean. I mean it, for the cookies, the tea party, everything. Its been really nice". It helped her get over Eren's aggressive harassment earlier. Seeing it was just a gesture for attention, knowing how bratty Eren was now.
Jean smiled at her fondly, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. She looked so beautiful out here in the moonlight, his heart fluttering like a bird. He was really glad they did this, leaving him with a joy he could not express "You're welcome". That promise they made as kids now felt more powerful than it had back then, the promise to find each other again. He never thought that dream would come true but it did, her uncle could have trained her himself after all, he had that authority.
Mikasa gazed at him silently, she remembered meeting him for the first time when they were kids. How pretty she thought his eyes were, here in the moonlight they were glowing. She felt her heart skipping within her chest, her love aching inside. She then leaned forward and kissed his cheek chastely, she had wanted to kiss him for a long time. But she didn't feel brave enough to kiss him on the lips yet. His cheek was soft, the scent of woodsmoke lingering on him like a cologne. She then pulled away, her bashfulness returning.
Jean was stunned for a second, his mind going blank. Her lips felt so soft, her hair was so silky and fine. She smelled like a perfume he could not put his finger on, a fragrant feminine musk. The scent of woodsmoke lingering on her clothes. Even if it was only on the cheek, it was his first kiss from a girl. He could still feel his cheek tingling from the contact. Was this why people could never forget their first kiss? I mean yes technically it wasn't but who cares? Let him have this moment.
"Wanna walk me back?" she asked. She wanted to spend a little bit more time with them before they were separating. She felt connected to him like she could feel his heart through their hands. She wanted to stay like this as long as possible. She really did love Jean, yes people may have called him her guard dog or shadow, but she never minded. Him being close to her brought her comfort too, knowing he was safe within her grasp.
Jean snapped out of his daze, previously engrossed in the joy of the fact his crush had kissed him. His cheeks flushing bright red, internally screaming like a schoolgirl. "Uh.. yeah…sounds great" he babbled. God he couldn't wait to tell the others about this. He would make them keep this a secret, if everyone found out about this they wouldn't stop talking about it. The last thing he needed was Yeager in his face about this.
Eren kicked stones under his feet as he headed back to the dorms. Tonight had been rather dull as when he overheard the others they were drinking tea and simply having fun. Perhaps he had been neurotic and overthinking. He knew it was none of his business but he couldn't help but worry about what Mikasa was getting herself into. She was too trusting for her own good, she would believe anything sweet that a guy said to her.
"Oi Eren, what are you doing up so late?" Connie asked. Did he need to sneak out for a late night pee or something? Usually, he kept to himself or Armin, who was the only friend he seemed to have around here. Not that he minded Eren, but his temper and attitude were a bit too much sometimes, he liked the more easy going people like Sasha and Marco. I mean Jean had a temper too, but he was more stubborn than a fuming kettle like Eren.
Eren looked up to see Connie and Marco returning to the dorms, they didn't appear drunk meaning they hadn't been drinking. But he couldn't help but wonder what they had been up to. "Nothin, just bored is all" he lied. He was interested in what secrets they held, why wasn't Mikasa back yet either? That guy Jean wasn't back yet too, what were they up to together? He swore if that guy tried anything funny with her he would regret it.
"We best get back to bed. Shadis will eat us alive if we get caught" Marco argued. He remembered what Mikasa had said about Eren earlier. He got the feeling that he had followed them in order to figure out secrets on Jean. He was planning on waiting till Connie wasn't around to have a word with Eren, he didn't need to get involved as he could handle himself. If he needed backup he would let them know, they had their own personal codes after all.
Connie stretched and yawned, he was eager to return to the warmth of his bed. But he was replete, full of tea and homemade cookies. "Night Marco, see ya tomorrow" he yawned. Heading back inside sleepily, trying to keep quiet as to not wake anyone. Tiptoeing over people as they slept was no easy task, some of them slept in the wierdest of positions. If you didn't wake up with someone's limb in your face you were one of the lucky ones.
Once Connie was gone, Marco turned to Eren sternly. He was no fool, he knew Eren had followed them to keep tabs on Mikasa. He had no right getting involved in her life, given they carried no connections. "Listen Eren, I didn't say anything as to not ruin our evening. But stay away from Mikasa. She told us all about your shitty attitude towards her earlier. We're her friends, we're her family. So back off and stop harassing her" Marco warned sharply. Mikasa was in love with Jean and he could see that they were happy together. Eren needed to back off and stop harassing her and Jean, even Armin would be upset at his actions.
Eren grimaced, a look of defiance on his face "For all I know you guys could have been drinking. Am I not allowed to worry about her?" he snapped. Mikasa had been through a lot, he wanted to watch out for her. He didn't like her hanging out with dodgy guys. She was a weak girl deep down, a scared crying girl who had lost everything and he worried about her. He tried to write her after she left but he never knew her address, where she was located and where her uncle was keeping her.
Marco's expression darkened, stepping forward in a hostile manner "She's not your girlfriend, she's not your sister. She isn't anything to you. Back off Eren, we love Mikasa. If you keep bothering her, we will hurt you". Connie, himself, Sasha and Jean, they would defend her with their lives. She was their family. She didn't need him watching her back and getting in her way, she had them for that. All he did was nitpick her life and try to make her something she wasn't, which she didn't appreciate and neither did they.
Eren became angry but sulky, knowing he had been called out on his behaviour. Marco sounded like his mother which sent a pang of sadness through him. But he knew the truth, he was aware that Mikasa was a stranger to him. But he just wanted her to be happy, she was one of the few connections to his past. He thought they were friends.