This chapter is dedicated to neijisaku858, thanks for the ideas and I hope you like the chapter
Mikasa could barely believe this was happening, her future was finally here, nothing could have prepared her for he elated feeling of moving up in the ranks. The years of training and hard work had passed leading her to this moment, it didn't feel real, she felt like she would close her eyes and nothing would have changed. No longer was she a trainee, no longer did she have to sleep in the barracks and live in the camps, she was about to take her first big step into the world as a soldier. She would become a teacher to new recruits, people looking to her for guidance and helping her comrades in battle. She would need to use all of her wit and energy to win this fight and finally become the person she was born to be. A guiding light of hope and strength to people who needed someone to admire and find strength in during the darkest of times. Facing the titans and protecting humanity, preserving life and defeating the enemy. She would step into the dangers of the battlefield as a member of the survey corps to face the world beyond the walls, no longer shackled in the cage caused by the titans. Risking her life to protect the civilians from being attacked by the titans like lambs to the slaughter. The quiet and comfortable life in which she had become accustomed would now become but a distant memory. But free to spread her wings and explore humanity, the world most people dreamed of, the society away from walls, soldiers and control of the military.
Standing in a line beside her friends, trying to bite back her smile and ease her nerves, taking quiet and slow breaths to relax her mind and body. Her stomach was in knots and she felt elated, internally she was screaming for joy and giggling like a small girl all over again. This was what she had prepared for her whole life, this is what her uncle told her about growing up alongside him. She now had expectations to meet, adult responsibilities to balance and people relying on her to perform well as a soldier for the good of the many. One day she would have to fight, one day she would need to pick up a blade and choose her life, no longer able to cower away and ignore the seriousness of the situation. Hiding behind the shadows of others while they risked their lives. She would cast aside her innocence and become a soldier, allowing her to broaden her education in a different way. She peered over her shoulder at the mass gathering of crowds come to watch this moment, praising and cheering the hard work of the students. The next generation of soldiers who would be expected to take their place come further casualties. Among the sea of faces, she saw Levi watching with his hands folded across his arms, to anyone who wasn't personally close with him he looked intimidating and unapproachable. One wrong glance and someone would be terrified to even step foot in his personal space, but she swore despite his solemn expression, she saw the flicker of a smile. Remembering all the times he sent her packages of tea leaves and visited her to check up on her training, making it easier for them both. Hanji was stood by his side sobbing like a moron, tears pouring down her cheeks, but somehow she found that comforting.
"Go, Mikasa! I'm so proud of you! You're one us now!" Hanji yelled loudly, seeing Mikasa inherit the green cape with wings adorned on the back. She never thought this moment would come so soon, growing up and finally earning her wings. It seemed like only yesterday she was a little girl hiding behind her uncle bashfully and clinging to his leg. The mantra of they grow up so fast was truth, time slipped by so quickly that it felt strange to see Mikasa was already fifteen. But she was happy to know Mikasa had a healthy friendship circle that comforted her and brought out the best in her. Until now the only people Mikasa had ever known was herself or Levi. She was eager to witness Mikasa's skills in person on the battlefield, seeing if she could match up to her Uncle.
Levi sighed heavily, as always Hanji had to be the loudest person in the room, her voice booming over everyone else but nobody dared complain less they want a scary look from Levi. She could never restrain herself come what may, but despite this happy and cheerful person she was known for being, underneath lay someone with sadistic tendencies and a frightening temper. But he himself wasn't perfect either, his own temper, distaste for patronizing people and disgust for being patronized. But she understood him, she understood his past and his inner demons. She was endearing and this was a joyous moment, to see her be her usual dorky self. Mikasa had completed her training as a cadet and was now a fully ranked soldier, she had chosen the corps as expected and she would soon fight alongside them. Looking to them for guidance while she forged her own path. But she would already be nervous and Hanji would only be making it worse, her head was bowed allowing her to hide behind her hair. Something she had done growing up when she was nervous or scared, withdrawing into herself. He could see her hands trembling from nerves and she was freaking out. "Oi, shitty glasses keep it down. You're making a damn scene and it's going to distract Mikasa" he scolded.
"You're going to do great honey! Mama Hanji believes in you!" Hanji yelled ignoring Levi, hoping her words of encouragement would chase away any of her self doubt. If she was anything like her uncle she would become a great soldier and do amazing things in her future. The sky was the limit and no doubt her friends would be there every step of the way. Levi groaned, rubbing the bridge between his eyes in frustration, wishing more than anything Hanji would be plagued with abrupt laryngitis that would prevent her from speaking for a while. Giving them all some blessed peace and forcing Hanji to communicate via notes instead of verbally. For all he loved Hanji, she was becoming problematic right now.
Hanji ran towards Mikasa, flinging her arms around the teen and pulling her into a surprise hug, it felt so long since she had been able to hold her in her arms. Nuzzling her soft black hair and rubbing her back comfortingly. This was a moment to be celebrated and she couldn't wait to hear their plans as soldiers, even amongst the seriousness of battle. Making time to nurture your friendships was a crucial and important task. She wanted Mikasa to remember she was loved, that she could always look to Hanji for advice, after all she was her adopted maternal figure. The latter tensing at the gesture before softening and simply embracing the hug, resting her head on Hanji's chest and breathing a quiet sigh of relief. The memory of her mothers warm hugs flickering through her mind, a distant but fond reflection on how she had found a new mother in Hanji. Her head peeking out from through Hanji's shoulder, observing passersby in the distance. She saw her uncle approaching and smiled shyly, knowing he would silently be praising her. As awkward as he was with showing affection, she could sense he was proud of her in this moment. A sense of familial pride and admiration for her personal growth into a new cadet "Alright Hanji, you're crushing her" Levi sighed.
"Boo, mood killer" Hanji scoffed, but she relented and released Mikasa but not before kissing her head affectionately. Levi was probably just jealous that he didn't approach Mikasa first and praise her. He'd been worried about being late to the ceremony or something going wrong. He cared more than he let on and watching him get flustered ever so slightly was endearing to watch. Mikasa sighed in relief at the gesture, but she smiled shyly at Hanji, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.
Levi approached his niece, noticing her friends lingering in the background, respecting their privacy of a personal familial moment but clearly curious as to what they were talking about. The fact that they lingered out of concern for Mikasa came to show the bond they had all forged in this place, similar to that of Farlan and Isabel when he was a youth. She looked older than he remembered, no longer shorter than him but she was starting to catch up, still a teenager and yet she had grown from this experience. She would have to make a choice and it wouldn't be easy, this was the road she had to follow from now on. Sometimes decisions would be difficult, sometimes she would have to make painful choices that she may regret or have to bear. Following orders, doing paperwork, scouting missions, the list was endless. However, now was the time that she would choose the people she would walk alongside for the rest of her life. The people who would be her comrades, the people who would act as her teammates. "So, when you were twelve I asked you the question of your future, of joining my team and fighting alongside me. But I doubt that's what you want anymore…" he trailed off. When was a child she seemed bashful yet eager to meet Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther, knowing she would one day rely on them as older members. But now she had forged her own team, people who respected and cared about her, allowing them to work together. He'd chosen his teammates for their skill, reliability and intelligence on the battlefield, allowing them to fight alongside him come what may. Clearly Mikasa had forged a similar bond with her friends. He didn't know what particular skills each of them had but he had a feeling he would soon find out when they met on the battlefield.
Mikasa stiffened, he could still read her like a book, her heart was an open book for him to read and he knew her by memory. Her uncle was her guardian and mentor, someone she cared for immensely, should any harm befall him she would be out for blood. But she had changed since joining the training, realising what was important to her. She'd reunited with Jean, she'd befriended new people and her motives had changed, she wasn't just fighting for him, she was fighting for others. She didn't want to be apart from her boyfriend, nor the friends she had made, not when they had been looking out for her all this time. She gazed at Levi solemnly, her black eyes gentle and yet stern "I can't abandon my family, they need me" she responded. Connie, Sasha, Jean and Marco were her squad till the end, they worked better together and it would stay that way.
Levi smiled to himself, she had grown up, no longer was she a child who relied on others, but instead worked to protect those she cared for with patience and earnest. She'd realised what was important and she wasn't going to let that go. She'd lost so much in her life that she wanted to retain this stable balance she had managed to find for herself. She'd fight for the people who accepted her and gave her a reason to smile again. Levi reached out to ruffle Mikasa's hair "Alright brat, you can stay with your boy candy and companions. I know you'll just worry incessantly unless you can babysit him" he responded. He knew Mikasa would only worry relentlessly should she be apart from Jean, he would plague her mind and act as a distraction. She would wait until they would be reunited and jump at every opportunity to work alongside him. Mooning over him and daydreaming, something he wouldn't rather cope with. He heard a snort of laughter from Connie and Sasha at the mention of boy candy, Jean's face coloured beetroot. Mikasa softened, a look of gratitude forming on her face, she knew Levi had accepted Jean and what he meant to her. Understanding that separating them wasn't an option for her. "However, if I get a high-risk mission I'll need you to fall into place. I can't allow you to neglect duty, Mikasa. I know how efficient you are and we need to work together" he responded. He was humanities strongest soldier and she was his niece, she was the only living Ackerman aside from himself and an asset to the cause. Sometimes having two of them working alongside each other was better than one. Mikasa could be entrusted to co-lead and efficiently take charge when he was unreachable or busy with another task.
She then beckoned Jean to approach to which he did nervously, his head bowed like a puppy, he still respected her uncle for his position and if not for him, he never would have met Mikasa. The man was intimidating and he harboured an authority that made him weak in the knees. Mikasa took his hand in her own again, squeezing it tightly, feeling him soften in her grip. "I know I'll be stronger with him at my side, Jean's a good leader and I believe in his decisions" Mikasa responded. She knew Jean would be an ideal leader, Marco already believed in his capabilities and idolized him. He cared for the wellbeing of his comrades and believed in efficient strategy that led to miniscule casualties. He cared for the many, not just for himself. Jean blushed, he'd been told by a few people around the camps that he harboured possible potential as a captain candidate someday. That someday he may reach ranks of the likes of Erwin Smith or even Captain Levi, but he never wanted to believe it. He still had so much growing to do before he finally made something of himself. But hearing it from Mikasa meant the world to him, knowing she had such faith in him. Levi hummed, before leaving but he could see the look of affection on Kirstein's face, the guy was smitten with her.
Mikasa lingered near the torches reflectively, gazing at the stars above her head as the reality began to sink in, she felt a weight on her shoulders realising who she had to live up to. Her uncle had been 29 when he first joined the survey core, fifteen years her senior. Now he was now he was 34 and a captain of the survey core. She had a lot of expectations to meet and live up to. She was finally going to face titans for real, instead of just the stories she had heard during her adolescence. She would be using a horse for transport during missions, manoeuvre gear, wielding a sword and actually killing monsters, facing the world outside the walls. Leaving the protection of her home that had kept her shielded all these years, stepping into the unknown, unprotected and in the open where any spontaneous surprise attack could take place. It didn't feel real, her body still taking the time to adjust to the fact that she had finally stepped into the light. She couldn't help but wonder what she would see, her uncle had always come home exhausted and told her the life of a soldier was strenuous and often full of hardships and heartache. He'd seen first hand the damage of battle, he'd lost people he loved due to pride, reckless choices or unpredictability. He wanted to protect Mikasa from that same fate though it would be inevitable. What she would experience and what would become of her, she was still a kid for crying out loud, she was fifteen, here she was walking into an adult world and she didn't know what she was doing. Admittedly she was freaking the fuck out, trying to make sense of it all.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps approach and pivoted her head to acknowledge the presence, prepared to beat the shit out of them if they tried anything funny. She'd become good at listening to her instincts, meaning nobody could ever sneak up on her. Her uncle had taught her well and she had heightened her senses working as a trainee. She saw Eren glaring at her with a hateful expression, his green eyes glowing and a low growl escaping from his lips. Whenever she saw him these days he was always in a foul mood and nothing could ease the rage inside of him. Making her pity Armin for tolerating his shit. "Do you want to explain what the hell that was?" Eren snapped suspiciously. He'd seen her cosying up to Jean at the ceremony, clinging to him like glue and then introducing him to her uncle while batting her eyelashes. Since when was Jean Kirstein of all people on good terms with the captain of the survey core and why was she so meek? What was going on with her?
Mikasa raised her eyebrow suspiciously, she hadn't spoken to Eren since that morning before breakfast when he confronted her outside the mess hall. She made a habit to avoid Eren for the sake of tension and arguments. Whatever issues he had were none of her business and she was content to live her own life. If Eren wanted to approach her in a civil manner so be it, but she wasn't going to be harassed for bonding with her friends. If Eren was going to be an ass towards her, she would return the sentiment and see just how he felt about being in her shoes. Being patronized and spoken down to for showing a softer fragile side "Guten Abend to you too Eren" she scoffed. Why did he always have to vent his anger onto everyone else, it wasn't healthy, he'd only make enemies that way.
"Don't pretend like it didn't happen! I saw you holding that assholes hand during the ceremony. Then you kissed him goodbye after speaking to the captain" Eren confronted. Part of him felt an unbridled rage at seeing her so happy with him, seeing her smile and act so kindly towards someone else. Wondering what would have happened if her uncle had never taken her away. If she had lived with them in Shiganshina and become part of their family? How different would his life had been? As much as he loved Armin and he kept him grounded, their relationship was complicated. Both orphans, Armin was raised by his grandfather after his parents died, when his grandfather died in the war he lost everything. Eren had welcomed Armin into his family whom raised him as their own for a brief period. After Eren's parents had perished, both were left alone in the world with only each other. Fighting and foraging for food and just making it through another day. While Mikasa had been raised by her uncle in a safe zone, known a warm house and food. She had been loved, cared for and protected, she had made friends and began a life he was robbed of. He couldn't help but resent her for that fact.
Mikasa glared, was he stalking or spying on her? What business of his was it when she showed affection for her lover? She never understood what was going on in Eren's mind, but then she hadn't known him long enough to know. Previously he'd had a boner for her uncle and constantly pandered to living up to his reputation, now that she was dating Jean, he had a stick up his ass relentlessly. Nothing seemed to make him happy and he lashed out at everyone because they didn't think like him. She was sick of him nosing into her life, trying to rip apart the bonds that she had worked so hard to make. "What I do with my boyfriend is no concern of yours Eren" she growled. Jean made her feel safe, loved and happy, the boy who welcomed her into his home and helped her find meaning in her life. Her uncle took her to visit him whenever she wanted. Someone familiar from her past that acted as her rock through the hardest times.
"Why do you follow that guy around? He's an arrogant dick and he's a shitty soldier! It's like you're a blind lovesick duckling, why can't you see how bad he is for you?" Eren demanded. Jean was nothing but trouble, he didn't like him and he didn't trust him, he just wanted to join the military to get the cushy benefits that came with it. This was all about status for him. He bit his lip, this would be some unpleasant memories to reflect on, digging deep into his personal psyche that he had long since repressed. The memories that made the pain resurface and triggered the nightmares that caused him to wake in the night crying. The memories before his life got so fucked up, the innocence of what he lost. Refusing to admit his weakness and inability to protect his mother, that the titans were purely to blame for everything. That his childish weakness, his lack of experience and fear hadn't proven his true colours of what he was unable to achieve. But that night he found Mikasa after what happened to her parents, how she had withdrawn into herself and refused to eat or speak. No matter what his mother said to her or how much they tried to rouse her into a state of response, she didn't speak a word. Sitting in his kitchen, as though she was merely an observer, existing rather than living. A girl who had lost everything and had nothing else to live for, the light had left her eyes and she lacked any form of spark. "I remember the night I brought you home after we stabbed those men who killed your family. How you sat in a state of comatose shock for hours, you didn't talk, you didn't eat, you just sat there like a doll. Then your uncle came to take you away. What happened to her? That strong girl who had no fear and fought as her life depended on it? Now you're just a passive quiet girl who lets everyone lead her through the nose" he berated. Her uncle had taken a broken girl from people who could have taken care of her and given her a good home. They may have been family but so was he, he cared about Mikasa too. The girl who had fought for her life, killed the people who caused her loss and misery, then cried when he gave her a scarf to keep warm. Now she just avoided him and acted like a stranger to him. More than that, the fight she once showed had now broken, she seemed peaceful and yet constantly reflecting on something. Like she had given up.
Mikasa saw red, she knew Eren was an idiot but this took the cake even for him. Was he so willingly blind that he couldn't see how hard it had been for her? It took years for her to heal, to come to terms with what she went through and finally make peace with her demons. The gnawing anxiety of losing someone else was always on her mind, but it made her grateful to the few important people in her life. Her hands trembling as anger, confusion and disgust filled her, a combination of conflicted feelings all fighting within her at once. Eren knew her as a girl, a child, the early stages of her adolescence. He had no idea the hell she had been through growing up and the conflict her trauma caused her. How much she had to heal, how many ties she had to cut and how many bridges she had to burn. "You know nothing about me!" Mikasa screamed, her eyes stinging with tears. Eren backed off at the tone of her voice, surprising even herself, like she was a wild animal about to lash out at him with her claws. He never watched her father get stabbed as he carelessly opened the door to their cabin thinking it was Eren's father, how a simple misjudgment of a decision had cost him his life. If he had simply peeked through the window, been more cautious and not merely assumed it was Eren's father, then maybe they could have escaped. Watching her happy life being ripped from under her feet in a millisecond, unable to prevent the tragedy that befell them. How her mother bolted to the front door to force it to remain shut, wielding nothing but sowing scissors to keep it closed. Grabbing the closest weapon on her person to defend their home in a spontaneous decision fueled by adrenaline. How her mother screamed at her to run, to hide, to getaway. Trapped in a state of shock and fear as her body refused to move, her young mind unable to process what was happening around her. How she was beaten before she was kidnapped, her hands bound as she laid on the floor in a pool of her own blood, the screams of her mother still echoing in her ears. Replaying the moment over and over in her mind, how she wanted to cry so badly but she couldn't muster the tears.
"He didn't have to care about me, we were strangers until that night. He had no reason to seek me out and come find me. But he took me in, he gave me a home and he loved me" Mikasa hissed. They were related by blood yet until that night they were strangers, having never crossed paths despite their lineage. He could have easily brushed it off and left her to her own devices. But he didn't, he came looking for her and found her, he took her in and took on the responsibility of a guardian. Her uncle sat through every single one of her night terrors, he stayed awake with her until she fell back asleep, no matter what time it was, how early it was and how loud she was. It became like a second nature to him and suffering with insomnia himself he was understanding of her situation. Waking up screaming and crying hysterically as memories of her parent's demise flooded her dreams, her pillow soaked with sweat and tears. Any of the other soldiers in the base could have complained, they could have confronted Levi about Mikasa, but they never did. Most were understanding and sympathetic having families of their own. Others cursed and complained behind her back but were too afraid of Levi to confront him about it. He simply wrapped her in his arms, pulled her onto his lap and held her, stroking her hair and soothing her until she calmed down. Mimicking the same actions his mother showed him when he was a child. The same instincts one showed to their children, his paternal streak starting to bloom as he adapted to parenthood. Making her milk and honey to help her sleep, knowing she was too young to drink tea at night. He shared his bed with her until she was old enough to get a room of her own, often asking Hanji to watch over her when she napped when he was called away on business. He never complained at how much she cried, how many times she woke him up, he never berated her for being bratty or selfish. He had tea parties with her after buying tea leaves and shared sweets with her, sitting nearby Hanji and himself while they sipped tea. Sometimes she would have sugar or simply lemon in her tea to add flavour. Making sure she enjoyed herself, soon the taste of fresh leaves became comforting to her, such as when he sent her some over to the barracks to enjoy in secret with her friends. He even let her meet his squad and encouraged her despite her shyness, he didn't force her to be sociable if she wasn't. comfortable
"If not for him, I never would have met Jean and found my friends" Mikasa responded calmly, she would have remained a lonely, unsociable and reclusive young girl who never knew the meaning of trust or friendship. He took her to Trost to explore while he purchased tea leaves, allowing to explore areas of the wall she had never known. That day she noticed Jean in the square being bullied, curled up in a ball and sobbing while kids beat him in the street while people simply walked past. Acting as though it was an everyday occurrence and it wasn't any of their business, crying and afraid with nobody to look out for him, something she couldn't ignore. The day she used her powers for the first time to protect someone, the first day since her awakening to kill someone, she had used it to help someone in need. The boy who told her she had pretty hair and looked at her like a superhero, the boy who saved her from her loneliness and watched clouds with her. The simplest of memories that meant the world to her. "Jean is like sunshine to me, he was the boy who gave me a reason to smile again. He respects my comfort zone, he never makes me do anything I don't want to. He never gets bitter or jealous about my skills. He even gave me this ribbon to match my scarf…" she trailed off. Everyday he never stopped being in awe of Mikasa's growth and inner strength, how she had spread her wings. How she could have hurt him that day in the combat training yet he trusted her and held his own. They had a sense of mutual respect and a deep affection for one another.
Sasha became the sister she never had, being an only child due to her parents dying before she could have another sibling, she looked out for Mikasa's wellbeing and made her smile. Everyone bullied Sasha due to her accent and how Shadis had confronted her on the theft of a boiled potato on the first day of training. She was a dork in every sense of the word but she encouraged Mikasa to smile. "Sasha taught me to forage, she taught me to hunt and live off the land, something I hadn't done since my parents died. Connie protects me, he makes sure people like you don't tell me how to live my life! Marco is like the brother I never had, they are someone I can rely on…" she trailed off. Sasha taught her crucial skills that would help them survive on mission should they run out of food or find themselves in danger, she could handle the 3D gear efficiently and even had fun while doing so. She could sneak food and weapons on her person without ever being caught, she followed her instincts and was a skilled hunter. Connie acted as her shield and deflected anyone who made her feel bad about herself, respecting her intelligence and her boundaries. Though at times he had a hard time expressing his emotions, but he care deeply for his friends. Marco was her closest confidant and allowed her to vent no matter how minor the issue, he was the one who helped her confess to Jean. He valued the qualities of his friends and fellow soldiers, as well as coping with and understanding his own limitations and shortcomings. But he never let them keep him down and earned the respect of leadership from others. He was a good person and he was a brother figure to Mikasa, able to perceive her moods easily and helped her overcome her problems. People she could trust, something for a large part of her life she hadn't known or experienced.
Averting her glare in the direction of Eren, sending a shiver of fear down his spine, knowing that if looks could kill, Mikasa could cut him down where he stood in an instant. A death glare, warning him to back off and stop intruding in her life. "…. Someone who mind their own fucking business! They don't try to control me because they have mummy daddy issues!" she growled hatefully. Jean's father had walked out on him growing up but he still respected and loved his mother, she had been his rock for a large part of his life and knew Jean struggled. Trying top take on the role of the patriarch and male leader in the family, yet struggling with his adolescence and self hatred. However, his relationship with Mikasa made him kinder, allowed him to move past his bitterness and become an empathetic person. Sasha's parents had taught her to hunt, her father was a traditional man who was devoted to his people, he was a mature father figure and role model to Sasha. Wanting to do good for the people who needed help the most, he was a selfless and good man, someone Sasha respected but didn't always get along with. She often wrote to him about her friendship with Mikasa and how she was learning new techniques, due to his concern for her joining the military. But she was in good hands with Mikasa. Connie's mother was a calm and humble woman who dearly cared for her son, she loved her son and always supported his decisions. Connie didn't speak much about her, only that she was a kind person and a loving mother, but she lived a reserved life and enjoyed living in peace. Marco never spoke about his parents, but from what he knew, they had a good relationship.
Eren twitched, she knew how sensitive he was about that, he knew Armin had explained to her what had occurred on the day Shiganshina was attacked. How could she use something like this against him? How could she turn something so personal into an attack against him? He would never forgive himself for being a coward and abandoning her like that. How if he was strong enough he could have freed his mother from the rubble of their home and run away in safety with her. "That's not fair Mikasa" he growled, that was low even for her. The memory kept him awake most nights, waking with a sweat soaked pillow and heaving sobs, shaking and trembling at the memory. His mother was eaten alive by a titan, sacrificing herself to protect him. He'd watched as she was severed in half, struggling to escape and then eaten by a titan before his eyes. His father in the madness of grief had just abandoned him to fend for himself, he hadn't seen his father in five years, unaware if he was dead or alive. He had nobody who he could turn to, nobody who cared enough about him to look out for him.
Mikasa scoffed, so he was fine with berating and insulting her, but when she called him out on his shit she was the bad guy. She pitied Eren for his hardships, what he had endured had been traumatic for him and she understood that. But trying to wedge himself between the people she cared for out of jealousy was childish. If he wanted to bond with her in some way, this wasn't the way to go about it. "Nani? You don't like me calling you out on your shit Eren? Shinjimae! I don't need you Eren, I don't need you lurking from the shadows and insulting my friends! I have my own life, stop projecting your shit onto me!" she yelled. She wasn't responsible for Eren's decisions or his behaviour, he had his own sense of self control and awareness that allowed him a sense of morality and understanding. He could make his own decisions without her stepping in to confront him. She wasn't his friend, hell he was merely an acquaintance she had briefly met six years ago. She didn't need him controlling her life or trying to intrude on the foundations of her hard work. She wasn't the same person he knew all those years ago, she'd changed into someone he couldn't recognize and he was having trouble understanding that. He was always following her around like a stalker and causing trouble in her life, instead of just communicating on a friendly basis with her friends. She understood Eren had issues and trauma, but insulting and harassing her and the people she cared about wasn't ok.
Eren's gaze darkened, she'd changed, the person he knew as a child had gone and in her place was a person he didn't recognise. He wasn't going to tolerate her treating him so badly. Raising his hand before he could stop himself, his rage bubbling within him like fire. Slapping Mikasa so hard across the cheek she stumbled backwards in surprise, her cheek ringing and aching as she felt pain course through her face, her teeth cutting her lip, the tangy taste of blood hitting her tongue. She hadn't expected Eren to get physical with her, she hadn't planned for him to be so aggressive towards her. A course of fear running through her, feeling her body tense into a rigid state, blood, just like that day. Eren approached Mikasa, slapping her face again, unable to control his body as his hurt and bitterness began to cloud his mind like poisonous smoke. Grabbing her by the hair and yanking at the ribbon binding it back, ripping it from her hair. The red string loosening as her hair began to tumble down her shoulders and face, he hated how it looked on her, he hated that she treasured it more than the scarf he gave her. His slap was hard enough to leave a bruise on her face that would be very noticeable, but he didn't care, he wanted her to hurt, he wanted her to understand the pain she had caused him. How dare she say that to him, how dare she turn against him so willingly, how dare she act this way and treat him so badly. After everything he'd done for her, did it mean nothing?
Levi heard a scuffle, he wasn't ignorant to the fact that hormones and tension built up among trainees, some sneaking away to get hot and heavy, picking fights for no reason at all. Remembering during his trainee years of all the trouble Isabel used to get into, of all the gazes focused his way in his youth, people preening for his attention. But like hell, he wasn't going to break it up, it had been a long day and he had a lot of work ahead of him. As he neared, his gaze darkened and his eyes widened with rage, this was worse than what he imagined, someone attacking his kin. This brat just never learned, he never seemed to understand that messing with his family was a death wish. Mikasa was cowering away, backing off and crying, she looked like a wounded puppy begging for help. Eren was yanking at Mikasa's hair, screaming in her face, the red ribbon in her hair had slipped out and fallen to the ground. Desperately clawing at Eren's arm, digging her nails in as she tried to break his arm to release her. He knew Mikasa treasured that ribbon, like a lifeline, it was one of the few things in her life that kept her sane. Mikasa was a skilled fighter and an intelligent young woman, but her trauma often caused her to have blackouts, migraines and panic attacks. He gripped his hands into balled fists, growling under his breath as he felt unbridled rage form within him. Storming over towards Eren with a heated glare, gripping Eren by the throat and yanking him away from Mikasa in a heartbeat. Choking him and dragging him away from Mikasa, making as much space between them as humanely possible. He wouldn't be laying a finger on her ever again. Mikasa flinched, her gaze averting to notice her uncle, tears of relief and fear filling her black eyes, her lip wobbling as she tried to muster words towards him.
"I could have sworn I told a certain shit-stain to stay the fuck away from my niece. Your head must be so full of shit it affected your memory" Levi growled. He warned him not to cause any more trouble for Mikasa, not to harass her boyfriend or upset her in any way. He threw Eren to the floor, if he wanted to be an asshole he would get his just desserts. Eren complaining and groaning at the gesture, curling up on the floor in pain, Levi raised his boot to kick Eren in the stomach, winding him. Punching him in the face to give him a black eye, payback for slapping Mikasa, nobody laid a hand on his niece, nobody laid a hand on his family period. He remembered the night he collected Mikasa from Shiganshina, she was littered in injuries caused by the kidnappers. Far too many on a child to even mention aloud, yet here was Eren venting the same abuse onto her all these years later. This little shit had no idea of the suffering Mikasa has endured when he found her, how much patience and hard work it took to bring her out of her shell. "Scheißfleck, this is your last warning, next time I'll kill you" he warned, this wasn't just a threat it was a promise. Levi turned on his heels, approaching Mikasa, sensing her flinch and cower instantly as a default mechanism. She was still in shock and her body was on high alert, she was protecting herself and soon enough her Ackerman senses would kick in causing her to lash out. Placing a hand on Mikasa's shaking shoulder, he could see she was crying. He soothed her with some calming words before he led her away towards the medical bay. Hanji would take care of her, she always did. Eren remained on the ground sulking as his wounds ached and he was left to reflect on his actions.
Jean burst through the door of the med bay, as soon as he had heard the news he had dropped everything and come running in a heartbeat. Panting heavily and his eyes wide with worry, praying to god she wasn't injured too badly. How had so much gone wrong in such little time? It felt like mere moments since he had been by her side when she revealed to her uncle of her plans to create a scouting team with him involved. They'd been so excited, so nervous and planned to celebrate, so why did everything have to fall apart. Mikasa averted her gaze to meet him, a fond smile forming on her lips, she was relieved to see him after the argument that had occurred. Knowing full well she could have kicked Eren's ass if she wanted to, but she didn't see the point in it. Her dark hair was messy and had fallen across her back and willowed across her face, she had a medical patch on her cheek from where Eren struck her, ice had helped ease the swelling down, her lip was split from where Eren had hit her. Her ribbon remained gripped in her hand, but it was still in one piece, it was the one thing she didn't want ruined by Eren with his foul temper. "Mikasa! Are you ok? What the fuck happened?" he protested. He wanted to know the truth and now. Marco, Connie and Sasha followed in pursuit, equally as troubled for her wellbeing.
Mikasa bowed her head timidly, hesitating to tell them the truth. She hadn't expected Eren to lash out at her so violently for confronting him on berating her companions. Losing her own temper and cursing at him in her native Japanese language, somehow it just slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself. "Eren…. He…he saw me kiss Jean, he said Jean controls me, makes me weak. He even insulted all of you, my family…" she trailed off.
"That jerk! He's just mad he got lower than Jean in the ranks! He's got a serious attitude problem!" Sasha huffed, she knew Eren had been following them around since her reunion with Jean in the barracks. He'd been trailing them since their secret tea party and more, he just couldn't leave well enough alone and now it had bitten him in the ass. Just why hadn't he learned his lesson earlier and backed off when he was supposed to. Though she didn't know Eren personally, from what she knew he was a hotheaded temperamental control freak. He'd become focused on Mikasa for whatever reason and kept trying to get her to follow him and abandon her friends.
"Need me to break something else?" Connie warned darkly. Levi raised his eyebrow and hummed, not bad, he'd not seen this fiery side of Springer before but he didn't hate it.
"Jesus Mikasa, I'm sorry we weren't there" Marco apologized
Levi huffed "That kid doesn't know shit about Mikasa, I've raised her since she was ten years old. She was so quiet, clingy and she hated when I had to go scouting. She'd cry for weeks on end, when I came home she would stick to me like glue. She finally got her smile back after Kirstein came into her life. But you guys are good for her, you make her feel safe. That's what she needs" he explained. He fixated on the past he had shared with Mikasa, seeing her as the same frail little girl she had been that needed to be rescued. He needed to accept that the Mikasa he knew was gone and he would never have that back. He was Mikasa's family, as were her friends, he was little more than a memory and a problematic pain in the ass. Mikasa blushed, but she nodded in agreement, her uncle understood, he'd known her for most of her life, it was expected. He knew how to approach her, he knew her moods, hobbies and triggers. He knew when she needed space and when she needed comforting.
Jean hummed, turning to the brunette nearby, right now she needed something familiar than to be patronized and belittled. Something to cheer her up and help her feel like things were back to normal. "Sasha, help Mikasa out huh?" he suggested, pointing to his head in a silent communication. Sometimes subtle methods could be the most powerful.
Sasha nodded and approached Mikasa, combing her soft black hair and bunching it together to form a ponytail. Sensing the latter immediately relax underneath her touch, she had always found this relaxing and as Mikasa once revealed, it reminded her of her childhood when her mother would enact the same thing. Making sure to soothe through the knots caused by Eren's aggression, tying her ribbon back into place. Pleased at her correction, her ponytail had returned, kept in place with the red ribbon "There, all better" Sasha praised proudly.
Mikasa smiled shyly, fingering her hair, the ribbon was finally back where it belonged and she felt comfortable again. Like Jean was close to her, her protective seal bound into her hair. "Danke…" she mumbled.
"You held your temper well shitty glasses" Levi responded, he saw the way Hanji's expression shifted in the med bay, going from a smile that touched her eyes to one of shock, silent anger and then worry. Restraining her anger as to not scare Mikasa and focus on healing her injuries. When it came to Mikasa, Hanji had a close bond with the teen and looked at her as her own child. Hanji had never been able to have a family, she'd never had that choice due to being a soldier. So she harboured a maternal bond with Levi's niece.
Hanji removed her glasses slowly, her eyes were dark and cold, the frightening persona of Hanji that could sadistic, unpredictable and fiercely dangerous. She knew Eren was someone from Mikasa's past and had saved her from her kidnappers. His family had briefly cared for her before Levi legally adopted her. Eren had clearly missed Mikasa after their separation which was understandable. But his unstable emotions had caused him to lash out at Mikasa which wasn't acceptable. Not only that he had attacked the niece of a higher up in the military which would place him in a lot of shit, but he had attacked Levi and Hanji's family. A child they had raised into a teenager "I have been needing a new experiment lately" she suggested.
Levi smirked, Eren had yet to meet Hanji and see the frightening side of her nature in which she tended to become a frightening individual. She could become manic and unpredictable, any sense of morality went straight out of the window. Yeager didn't know with whom he was fucking with "You could kick his ass round two" he suggested.
Hanji smiled, it always amused her that after all these years Levi still knew her so well, proving how close they had become "Sounds fun, let's go" she agreed. She needed to blow off some steam after what had occurred, maybe she would feel better at finding Eren and introducing herself.
Levi watched Hanji walk away with a skip in her step, almost in a childlike way, when someone young played hopscotch or found something to chase out of curiosity. She never ceased to surprise him and he trusted her more than he had anyone in his life. He met her after her lost his closest friends and became someone who truly understood him. Her eyes wide with excitement at all the fun she could have, this was like a game to her and it was endearing "I'm going to marry that woman" he responded.
Jean, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie and Marco headed in the direction of the canteen to enjoy breakfast, they had gotten a delivery of eggs and oats in this morning, so they could indulge in either a variety of egg relates meals or both. They would need their strength today and everyone would be on edge as after today they would no longer be sleeping in barracks. They may as well have fun while it lasted and make the most of their memories here and their last day.
"Fried eggs on toast" Connie cheered eagerly, it would be tasty, healthy and it would leave him in a good mood. Reminding him of the kind his mother used to make before he joined the military. He needed something positive before he had to focus on being serious all the time and working out in the open.
Sasha had spent all morning styling Mikasa's hair for her after what had happened with Eren, trying something new to see how Mikasa would feel. Talking to Mikasa about anything non sensical just to take her mind off things to ease her anxiety. Something Mikasa greatly appreciated, knowing how Sasha could tell when she didn't want to ponder on something. She had braided Mikasa's hair into a French-style before styling it into a bun, using pins and even bound her red ribbon into it to keep it in place, her bangs framing her face. She looked reminiscent to a medieval princess from a fairytale, Mikasa could barely recognize herself and nearly started crying. Gently touching the style while fingering her front bangs absentmindedly. The look of utter shock and delight on Jean's face had been everything, he had half expected to see her ponytail as always, but instead was met with something cuter. Blushing like mad and stumbling over his words, which was a sign of approval. Mikasa had hugged her afterwards, knowing how long it took Sasha to finish despite how tediously long it took and how early she had to be awake to get it done in time. Sasha had never been a morning person but she had done it anyway, wanting to cheer her up. As they were headed into the barracks, a familiar face met Sasha's periphery, causing a surge of anger to fill her body. A red mark around his neck from where Levi had grabbed him, bruises littered his body from the fight, visibly limping after what had happened. He was in a blatantly foul mood, but then when was he not?
Sasha frowned, her gold eyes turned sharp and bitter, she hadn't really held much resentment towards Eren previously, simply annoyed that he was causing Mikasa trouble. But due to the fact he had done no harm previously, she left him be. But now he had crossed a line and she wasn't ok with that, she was glad he was hurting, he deserved it after being such a jackass. She then walked in Eren's direction who flashed her a look of confusion, raising her foot to kick Eren swiftly in the crotch, causing him to whimper in pain and grab his crotch. Some people nearby laughing, whispering or staring at the scene. "That's for wrecking Mikasa's hair, making her cry and calling us useless. Jean is twice the man you are, Marco is her big brother and I'm her best friend! I taught how to forage and wield a bow and arrow" She snapped before storming away.
Jean whistled in the distance in approval, he knew Sasha could hold her own in a fight and got fiercely protective over food. But she had never once raised her hand to anyone, seeing her lose her temper was rather shocking. "Remind me to never piss off Sasha" he chuckled. He was glad Sasha was among their team instead of against them.
Connie snorted in laughter, he had never felt prouder of his best friend in that moment, wishing he could capture the moment "Nutshot" he called. He doubted Eren would dare insult Sasha after that one, she'd given him a warning and he better listen.
Sasha hurried over the Mikasa with a bright smile and wrapped her arms around her friend and pulled her into a tight hug "C'mon, breakfast is going to get cold" she laughed. Leading her friends inside as their stomachs gurgled as the scent of food filled their noses.
Mikasa stroked the nuzzle of her horses face affectionately, gazing into their beautiful eyes with a mutual expression of trust. Much like her uncle she had developed an affection for animals and had a way of healing and communicating with them in an innate way. Something about their innocence and gentle nature touched a chord with her. Handing them some hay, allowing them to gently graze from her hand, stroking their nose as they ate. She was pleased to have chosen a mare to ride while she would be in the survey corps, the horse was a grey mare compared to the usual brown coloured horses.
Jean approached with an impressed smile "Woah, you're really good with animals" he praised. He saw the gentle expression in her eyes, reading the animals body language and being sure not to scare them in any way that may cause them distress. The horse hadn't panicked upon his approach meaning it was gentle natured, which was a relief. He knew Mikasa had all sorts of talents and skills, but bonding so well with animals was not one he expected. The horse showed no discomfort with being approached by Mikasa in any way.
Mikasa smiled shyly, it had been a long time since she had been around horses but she adored them. Finally being able to ride one for herself was a dream come true. "When I was little on my parent's farm, we had some animals. They were my comfort zone, but when I lost my home I lost them too" she explained. Her father had hunted ducks to roast or turn into stew, growing eggs from chickens and using a horse for travel and working the fields. A peaceful life that was now merely a memory.
Jean softened, he always knew talking about her past was difficult, but he tried to make these memories less painful for her by reflecting on the positive. "Good with animals, top of the class, anything else you want to tell me?" he teased. He just couldn't compete yet he had never felt prouder of her, everyday he learned something new. He wondered how Mikasa would act when he was reunited with his mother and she recognized Mikasa.
Mikasa chuckled "Jealous?" she teased coyly
"I think I just fell more in love with you" he grinned, he had never thought it possible to meet ones soulmate so early in life yet every fibre of his being told him she was the one. The minute he met eyes with her as a child he knew she was the one for him. He felt he could trust her in a way he never had anyone before in his life. He could tell her anything and he felt an immense sense of protectiveness over her. Though he was too young to consider marriage, he knew Mikasa was the woman that he would one day choose for a wife. Nobody else could compare in comparison.
Mikasa blushed but leaned across to kiss Jean's cheek chastely, he meant a great deal to her and casualties were expected in battle. The real world was very different to training and she didn't want anything to happen to him. He was one of he few remaining constants in her life and she didn't want to lose him. She wouldn't be able to handle such a loss so soon in her life. "Stay nearby, I don't want to lose you outside the walls" she warned, if anything happened to Jean during this she would never forgive herself.
Jean nodded, he understood her concern and he felt the same way. As powerful and efficient as Mikasa was, nobody could predict any mistakes which could occur. The idea of any harm befalling her made him sick, especially after Eren attacked her. Mikasa had been the first friend he ever made as well as his first love, she meant a lot to him. She believed in him and pushed him to become the leader of the group. "So far as we know our first mission is in Trost so we have no idea of what to expect" he sighed, his hometown.
"You'll do fine" Mikasa reassured him with a soft smile. Jean was an ideal leader for the survey core and he showed promise with his skills, he cared greatly about his comrades and making good impressions. Even her uncle admitted it was a good idea and Jean showed promise, an approval from her uncle was not something to be taken lightly. Mikasa wrapped her arms around Jean protectively, burying her nose in his chest, the sound of his heartbeat soothed her soul and made her feel safe. Jean wrapped his arms around Mikasa, burying his nose in her hair fondly, breathing in her scent, the distant smell of spring flowers and wood smoke filled his senses. Holding her like this felt so right, like he belonged in her embrace, as though they were connected in some invisible way. He loved her so much it hurt. "Just don't die" Mikasa whispered quietly, she couldn't lose him, she couldn't suffer another loss so soon in her life, she wouldn't be able to cope.
Jean chuckled stiffly, he was going to say the same thing to Mikasa, but she had read his mind like always. Out of all his life, Mikasa had been the one security he had aside from his mother. She had always visited him, accompanied him and given him a reason to love himself. Their dream of joining the military together had come to fruition at last. She was stable security that kept him sane "I could ask you the same thing" he responded.