Chapter 16

Jax

The infirmary sucked. He was bored out of his mind and wasn't able to talk to anyone. He was supposed to go back to gen pop today. It had been a week since his attack.

He had been in line for the phones when a group of low level guys got the jump on him. Luckily the Russians had been near by and helped him out.

He wanted to talk to Tara or Katherine. He needed to hear one of their voices or he was going to go insane. He wanted to talk to Tara, they needed to work on communicating now. He knew it would be hard especially with a third person in their lives. He wished he never did what he did, hurting her the way he did is something he will never forgive himself for.

Finally Mike came in to get him to escort him back. "You have a visitor." Jax followed behind Mike and when he got to the visitation area he smiled. He saw Katherine sitting there waiting for him. She smiled slightly when she saw him and all but ran to him. He could see her eyes checking him over for damage. Luckily everything was hidden under his shirt.

"How are you? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Happy said you were fine but I didn't believe him." She spoke in one breath.

"I'm good hone I promise." He sat down at the table.

He watched her breath deeply before sitting down. "I have a lot to tell you."

Her voice was serious and he knew something was going on. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes everything is okay now." She pulled out an envelope from her bag. She slid a picture over to him. He felt his eyes sting with tears. "This is Thomas Teller. He was born last week on the 12th."

"Holy shit." Jax out the photo down and pushed his palms into his eyes to stop them from crying. "This is unreal."

He grabbed her hand and she held it tightly. "The delivery went well. But afterwards Tara hemorrhaged and needed surgery. She's doing really good now. I brought her home yesterday and your moms been helping out a ton. She wants to come visit but it will be a couple weeks until she can handle the ride up here."

"What happened? What does that mean?"

He felt like an idiot but his brain couldn't process what she was saying fast enough.

"She lost a lot of blood after the delivery. She had cysts on her cervix and uterus and they ruptured. They couldn't stop the bleeding without an operation. She was in the hospital until yesterday. I couldn't tell her about you until yesterday. It would have sent her into a turmoil-"

"Jesus Christ Katherine." He said with a little to much hostility. He banged his hand on the table and took a deep breath. She was looking at him with wide eyes. "You've been trying to handle all this shit on your own? Me. Tara. The kids."

"I... I had no choice Jax. I had help when I needed it but I can handle it."

He saw something in the way she moved, almost like she was afraid of his anger. It made him feel like shit.

"I'm sorry. I just... I feel like a dick that you had to go through all of this shit alone while both of us were tied up."

"I'm glad you're both okay now. All that matters is that." She returned her hand to his and he was grateful for it.

His heart ached for Tara. He knew Katherine was telling the truth that she was okay but he needed to see her or hear her. Tara was an extension of his soul. It may need to repaired but he knew nothing would change that. He also knew that he was a hopeless romantic and fell hard and fast but he could hate just as quickly. He still had trouble thinking of how he would handle life when he got out. His biggest fear was that Tara and Katherine would love eachother just a bit more.

Katherine hasnt hurt Tara the way he has. Insecurities sucked and the voices in his head would sometimes get to him.

But he also knew that his heart felt like it beat easier with Tara and Katherine inside of it.

"I do love you. You know that right?" He said to her.

She looked at him shocked. She couldn't forms words for a bit. "What?"

"I love you Katherine. I want you to know that I love you. I know this life aint gonna be easy but im willing to try like hell. If im honest I am scared as shit but, I think its worth it."

She had tears in her eyes "I love you too."

"God I'm telling you, this week has been the scariest of my life. It put everything in perspective and I just can't wait for you to be home Jax."

"I can't wait either. You know I had a feeling when I talked to Tara last week on the phone that she was in labor. She kept telling me she was fine." He chuckled.

"Stubborn assholes. The both of you." She replied back.

"Only 211 more days hone." He said softly.

"We can do this." She said back with a smile.

She pulled out more photos for him and he was thrilled. So many photos. Tara holding Thomas in the hospital. Tara and Katherine. Abel with Thomas.

"Oh, and your mom sent you this. I wasn't allowed to open it."

He opened the envelope and inside was a small note. "She didn't want to send any of hers but I thought you'd like them." And inside were photos of Katherine holding Thomas in the nursery of the hospital and at home. It must have been while Tara was recovering.

He looked up at the brunette and smiled.

—

TARA

Thomas was officially three weeks old today. The pain was finally subsiding and she could get around a little easier. Her body still hurt but it was manageable. Katherine had already woken up with the boys and allowed Tara to sleep more.

Tara wasn't sure how Katherine was still going. She would take care of everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, she'd wake up every time Thomas needed something. If he needs to nurse she'd bring him in so Tara could feed him. Then she'd return him to his bassinet.

Katherine was with her every single step of the way. She didn't know what she did in her life to get so lucky but she'd thank god every day that she had the life she did.

Today Tara was going with Gemma to visit Jax. She hadn't seen him in over a month. She was angry when Katherine first told her about Jax and the assault but after her hissy fit she understood why Katherine had decided to wait.

Tara got up from bed and showered, she got herself ready before heading to the kitchen. Katherine had coffee brewing and breakfast made. The boys were happy and content on the back patio with her.

"Knock knock." Gemmas voice rang through the house.

"In here Gem."

"Hi baby. How are you feeling.?" She asked while grabbing a piece of fruit off the table.

"I'm good. I don't know how Katherine is still standing. I can barely keep my eyes open and I actually get to sleep."

"She's alright baby. I was thinking of sleeping over tonight to give her and you a break."

"Gemma you don't have to do that..."

"I want to baby. She's doing really good but I don't want her to push herself into exhaustion."

Tara agreed. "You ready to head out?"

"Ready when you are. I'll be in the car so the boys don't see me."

Tara nodded her head and walked out to give Katherine a kiss goodbye. She leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"I'm heading out babe. I'll be home later. Gemma says she's gonna stay over tonight so we can sleep."

"She's a god send." Katherine breathed out. "I love you. Have a good visit." She turned to kiss her lips.

Tara knew she wasn't clear yet for any activity but she couldn't wait. She also knew that even though she was out of commission it didn't mean she couldn't help her lovely girlfriend get off.

"Say bye to mommy!" Tara yelled to Abel.

"Bye mommy!" Abel squealed while hugging Tara tightly.

"You be a good helper for momma okay?" She said to the little boy.

"I will." He ran off to play.

"Goodbye my little man. I'll see you later." She spoke to Thomas who cooed at her.

She gave Katherine one more kiss before leaving.

The drive to the prison was long. Tara had to stop a few times to stretch and use the bathroom. Her pain wasn't to bad though. As she sat waiting for Jax she thought about the day he'd be getting out. She couldn't wait to have him home.

She often daydreamed about the day where she comes home from work to Katherine and the kids making dinner and Jax pulling in at the same time. She pictured more children running around and a house full of laughter and love.

Her day dream was cut off when she felt hands on her shoulders.

"You look amazing darlin'."

His husky voice sent shivers through her body.

"You don't look to bad yourself."

He sat down and immediately took her hand in his.

They talked about her delivery and what it's been like with a new born. She told him she was grateful for Katherine and that she was worried the younger woman would exhaust herself. He agreed telling her that Katherine loved her and that one day one of them will have to be strong for the three of them. Teamwork is going to be the only way they survive.

She also spoke about the concerns she had about having another baby. She hadn't mentioned it to Katherine yet because she knew she needed to talk to him first. She explained to him that she may never want another one of her own.

"It was just such a traumatic experience Jax. Im not saying never because things happen but for now I want to put in the yen year IUD."

He looked a little saddened by it and she felt guilty for a moment. However, she knew this was good for her and them for now.

She assured him that Katherine wanted loads of babies and that only time would tell. He seemed to perk up at the idea that their not so traditional family would have other benefits as well.

"We can't wait for you to be home."

"I can't wait either babe. 197 days to go."

"What's the plan for when you get out?" She asked him.

"We're going legit."

Tara was stunned.

"Clay and I have talked about it non stop. We're gonna move business into other directions where none of us end up back here again. Still SOA still outlaw but new."

"That sounds amazing."

"Hoping within 2-3 years Samcro and SOA are in a whole other field."

"That's great Jax. That's actually makes me feel really good."

He smiled his boyish smile. "I want to make you all proud. I want all of our kids to want this legacy. Not be forced to take it."

"Well we'll be here every step of the way."