Well, this bad boy is it. Now that we've gotten through our introductory setup, it's time to get the actual show going.
I have chosen two characters currently competing on either Total Drama Everything 3 or The Ridonculous Race: Multiverse Mayhem, as well as two that HAVE competed in my past stories but are not competing in the current ones. Of course, this is the only time active competitors from either show will participate except in the case of a special condition, like winning a challenge.
Also, thanks for all the ideas on future players. I do understand the lack of game ideas, this may not be a show a lot of you know about, but hopefully you will understand as we go along. That, or go to YouTube or the Whose Line wiki.
Also, I'm surprised no one made a guess as to the identities of the R.W.C. people who pitched the idea to Chris and Don. Well, you'll learn who they are in this very chapter.
That covers what you need to be aware of, so let's get the ball rolling for the official start of Whose Line Is It Anyway?: TheMasterKat Edition.
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The audience cheered as one of the cameras scanned the area: a studio filled with the aforementioned audience surrounding a small, multi-layered stage. A wooden desk stood stage right. Near the back of the stage were four chairs, each with a different person sitting in them. From left to right in the center audience section's perspective: a man wearing head-to-toe red and black spandex, a green ogre, a pink-skinned girl with a similarly-colored dress and hair, and a red-haired boy wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
"Good evening everybody, and welcome to our brand new edition of Whose Line Is It Anyway?" announced a mystery person. "On tonight's show:
"Needs no introduction, Deadpool from Marvel Comics!"
The red-and-black dressed man raised his arm and cheered.
"Walking equivalent of an onion, Shrek!"
The ogre gave a small smile to the camera.
"Watch out, she'll cause cavities. Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time!"
The pink girl waved graciously at the camera.
"What'cha doin'? Phineas from Phineas and Ferb!"
The kid smiled and waved, saying, "Hello" to the camera.
At the top of the center audience section was a tall, blue man wearing a Green toga. For some reason, he had blue flames for hair. "And I'm your host, Hades. Come on down, let's have some fun!"
The audience cheered once again, and Hades walked down the stairs and to the desk, where he sat down. Deadpool, Shrek, Bubblegum, and Phineas clapped, and soon the cheering finally died down.
"Hello, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter," Hades said. "That's right, they don't matter. Just like my plans to take over Olympus after Hercules shows up. Happens all the time."
The audience laughed, and so did the people onstage.
"A little history for you guys," Hades explained. "This real-life improv show first appeared on British radio before becoming its own television series over there. Then it made the move to America, was popular there for a few years, stopped for some reason, and then made a glorious comeback that is still going strong. But recently, a trio of strange guys in cloaks approached me with hosting a version for the multiverse, I accepted, and here we are!"
Once again, the audience cheered.
Hades continued, "If you've never seen the British or American real-life versions of this show, what happens is these guys onstage are going to make up everything you see tonight right off the top of their heads, based on suggestions from the audience and from what we compiled on these cards before the show." Hades held up a stack of large cards. "These guys have never seen what's on these cards before, not even a peek. After every game, I'm going to award them some points. Don't know why I do that, because I wasn't kidding. The points don't matter."
More laughter. The four players feigned shock.
"At the end of the show, I'm going to pick a winner. He or she will be the winner for no particular reason, perhaps other than me feeling like it. What they get could be anything, from playing a game with me to sitting out of a game. And the losers get to help me in my plot to defeat Zeus."
More laughter. Deadpool crossed his fingers, and Shrek shook his head.
"Actually, before we get to the fun stuff," Hades added, "let me point out that the first four players of our new show come from the shows Total Drama Everything and The Ridonculous Race: Multiverse Mayhem. Chris and Don, the respective hosts, gave us permission to have Deadpool and Phineas here tonight, while Shrek and Bubblegum didn't need permission since they're not competing."
Phineas smiled and turned to his fellow players. "I've wanted every episode of TDE, and I'm a huge fan of all three of you. Are you guys excited too?"
"Already prefer this over Chris' torture," Bubblegum said.
"Join tha club," Shrek stated.
Deadpool looked around. "TheMasterKat actually made a fanfiction for this show. My dreams have come true!"
"Who's TheMasterKat?" Hades asked.
"Only the woman of my dreams. Does she have any idea how long I've been wanting this? For the first time, I will know what it feels like to be Ryan Stiles!"
"Who?" Bubblegum asked.
"One of the regulars in the real show."
Hades rolled his eyes. "Well, that guy's irrelevant to THIS version of the show. So don't get all excited. This show is for the multiverse of franchises that span pretty much all of existence. Speaking of which, we should hurry and get the true fun started, shall we?"
"Yes, lets," Shrek said.
Hades smiled. "Excellent. We're going to start off with a game called "Weird Newscasters". This is for all four of you. How this game works is we have an anchor, a co-anchor, a sports reporter, and a weatherman. But the anchor is the only sane one. Everyone else has a special quirk that they must portray. And no, that's not a My Hero Academia reference."
The players got out of their chairs and walked to their respective spots as Hades explained their roles.
"Deadpool, you're going to be the anchor, ironically enough."
The mercenary shrugged and grabbed two stools.
"Phineas, you're going to be the co-anchor. Your quirk is you've just won the lottery and can't stop bragging about it."
"Pretty sure I'm too young to buy a lottery ticket, but alright," Phineas said as he sat on the second stool.
"Bubblegum, you're the sports reporter, and you're Picasso who is having trouble finding inspiration for his next masterpiece."
"Easy enough," said Bubblegum as she stood stage right.
"Shrek, you're the weatherman. And you have had one too many cups of coffee and are very hyperactive."
Standing stage left, Shrek nodded.
"You guys just have to act out your roles, using the quirks you were given, once the scene gets to you," Hades explained. "The scene will end once you hear this sound." He hit a button sitting on the desk, and a buzzer rang out. BUZZ! "That's pretty much all you need to know. Deadpool, go ahead and start when you hear the music."
(Weird Newscasters!)
Deadpool: Anchor
Phineas: Co-anchor, can't stop bragging after winning the lottery
Bubblegum: Sports reporter, Picasso having trouble finding inspiration
Shrek: Weatherman, Hyperactive from too much coffee
The generic musical tune of a newscast rang out throughout the studio. Deadpool sat on his stool, trying to look as professional as possible. Phineas sat next to him, a big smile on his face.
"Good evening, everyone," Deadpool began. "And welcome to the…" He moved his sleeve out of the way to check his watch. "5:14 News. I'm Gunner Tinkle. Our first story tonight, it appears 9 out of 10 Total Drama fanfiction authors believe Deadpool would make an excellent competitor. And who could blame them? That guy can be plugged into any plotline. Now, for our next story, we move to my co-anchor, Watcha Macallit. Watcha?"
Phneas, or 'Watcha' began laughing. "Thanks, Gunner. This is fitting for my last day, since I really don't need this job anymore. Anyway, we just received word that the lovable Barney the Dinosaur is about to host his annual 'I Love You' party. I wonder how he's paying for it all. Maybe he won the lottery too. I know what that's like." He looked at Deadpool. "Have YOU won the lottery before? Do YOU know what it feels like to be a multimillionaire? Didn't think so. Ha."
'Gunner' shook his head. "I don't see how that's important, but okay. Now we go over to sports, with our reporter Candy Cotton. Candy?"
Bubblegum, or 'Candy', began speaking with a faux Spanish accent. "Thank you, Gunner. First up, people are still partying after the huge win the Los Angeles Dodgers pulled off at last night's game. That last home run was incredible."
'Candy' put her fingers to her chin. "No, that image simply will not do. I need something more abstract. Something you normally would not put on a canvas." She thought for a second. "In other news, the Miami Dolphins and their fans were disappointed after their 83-0 loss last night. Quite a blowout loss." She paused. "No, still not good enough." She looked at 'Gunner'. "Please give me a second while I think, please. I must focus on my art."
'Gunner' nodded. "This just in, sports reporters are more artistic than we think," he said.
"Perhaps this one's just jealous that I'm the one that won the lottery, so she's anxious to make art to sell for a quick buck," 'Watcha' pointed out.
"Yeah, sure. Now, we go over to weather, with our meteorologist Greenspeace McGee."
'Greenspeace' began bouncing up and down as much as his weight would allow, his words barely intelligible due to how fast he was talking. "ThanksGunnerasyoucanseeweareexpectingacoldfronttocomecharginginandmostlycooldowntheMidwestherebutshouldalsoproviderelieffortheSouthernregionsofthecountry."
"Is everything okay?" 'Gunner' asked. "You seem excited."
"OhIamcoolasacucumberandsowilltherestofthecountryinamatterofdays."
(Author's Note: Anyone who can decipher this, I have no choice but to respect you.)
Just then, 'Candy' gave a good, long look at 'Greenspeace'. She gasped. "That's it. A hyperactive green man. This is the inspiration I was looking for!"
She mimed setting up a canvas. "You are going to be my next masterpiece," she (or he, if you're referring to Bubblegum as Picasso) said. "Though I hope you're alright with having your nose where your eyes normally are. That is simply how I make my art unique, you see."
"GoaheadIdon'tmindjustmakesureyougetmygoodside."
'Gunner' laughed. "We might have to start searching for a new sports reporter AND weatherman soon. And THAT'S the news. Be sure to also tune into the 6:00, 7:00, and 8:00 news. Goodnight."
(BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZ!)
The audience cheered, and the four players walked back to their seats.
From the desk, Hades clapped. "Not bad for the first game of the show," he said. "A thousand points to each of you. Don't spend them all in one place."
Everyone laughed.
"I've never been one to brag about anything in my entire life," Phineas admitted. "I felt kinda mean during all that."
"Yeah, well I would like to rule Olympus, but we don't always get what we want," Hades pointed out.
Phineas shrugged.
"So how does it feel to get beaten up by Hercules and thrown in your own soul pool?" Deadpool asked.
"Just fine," the God of the Underworld said with clenched teeth. "Wanna know for yourself?"
"No thank you."
Hades glared. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he mumbled under his breath.
He looked at his next card. "Okay, but enough on that. We still have a show to do. Next game is called 'Two-Line Vocabulary'. This is for Deadpool, Bubblegum, and Phineas."
The three aforementioned players stood up.
"So how this game works is that these three will act out a scene described on this card, but there's a catch. Two people, in this case Deadpool and Phineas, are only allowed to speak two lines chosen for them by production. You can say those lines however many times you want, but they are the only two lines you get to say."
"You're putting the Merc with a Mouth on a leash like this?" Deadpool asked. "I'm insulted."
The god shrugged. "Too bad. Anyway, the third player is the only one allowed to speak freely. In this case, that's Bubblegum. The scene is: Deadpool and Phineas are window washers on a skyscraper, and Bubblegum is the frustrated, overbearing boss making sure they finish their jobs in time. In fact, I still have to give the guys their lines. Deadpool, your two lines are 'Are you insane?' and 'I know how to fix this'. Phineas, your lines are 'What's wrong?" and 'Get me down from here'. That's pretty much all there is to it. Whenever you guys are ready, start the scene."
(Author's Note: This next part will be done in play format, simply to make it easier to understand.)
(Two-Line Vocabulary)
(Deadpool and Phineas are wiping the window of a high-rise with their squeegees. Bubblegum is standing between them, tapping her foot.)
Bubblegum: Hurry up, you two. I want these windows to be void of bird poop by yesterday.
Phineas: (looks at her) What's wrong?
Bubblegum: I'll tell you what's wrong. It's this snail's pace you're doing. My dog could wipe these windows faster than you idiots.
Deadpool: I know how to fix this.
(He proceeds to begin wiping faster.)
Bubblegum: You call that 'fixing' the issue? Come on, show some elbow grease. Faster, faster!
Deadpool: Are you insane?
(Phineas puts down his squeegee, having had enough.)
Phineas: Get me down from here.
Bubblegum: (glares at him) Say that again.
Phineas: Get. Me. Down. From. Here.
Bubblegum: No can do. I'm the boss, and I say you finish that window.
Deadpool: (raises finger) I know how to fix this.
(He moves over to the "lever" that raises or lowers the platform. He shifts it, intending to lower it, but suddenly the platform itself jumps.)
Bubblegum: Uh oh.
Phineas: What's wrong?
Bubblegum: I think it's jammed. We're stuck up here.
(Phineas starts panicking.)
Phineas: Get me down from here!
Deadpool: I know how to fix this.
Bubblegum: Oh, do you now? I would love to see that. Because if you don't, I have no problems pushing you off this thing.
Deadpool: Are you insane?
Bubblegum: Wanna find out?
Phineas: (puts hand on Bubblegum's shoulder) What's wrong?
Bubblegum: What do you think, genius?
(She grabs Phineas by the armpits.)
Bubblegum: In case you haven't noticed, we're suspended five hundred feet up on a broken lift. Get that through your head.
Phineas: Get me down from here!
Deadpool: Are you insane?
Bubblegum: Quit asking that.
Deadpool: (nods) I think I can fix this.
(He moves the lever somewhat. The lift descends smoothly.)
Bubblegum: Finally.
Phineas: (relieved) Get me down from here.
Bubblegum: Oh, and you two are fired.
Deadpool: Are you insane?
Bubblegum: And tired.
(BUZZZZZ!)
The audience applauded as the scene ended. Deadpool, Bubblegum, and Phineas returned to their seats.
"You can be really scary when you have to be," Hades told Bubblegum.
"Tell me about it," Phineas said.
Bubblegum nodded. "Sorry if I actually freaked you out, Phineas."
"Oh, it's fine. Improv is improv."
"I'll at least say that seeing Bubblegum angry really made my day," Deadpool added.
The audience laughed.
"1,000 points to Bubblegum for her good anger show," Hades said. "And 2,000 to Phineas for taking the full brunt of it."
Bubblegum and Phineas high fived.
"Now we're gonna move on to our next game, which has been a staple in the real-life Whose Line? since the beginning," Hades announced, pulling out a black satin magicians' tophat. "'Scenes from a Hat'! This is for all four of you. Deadpool, Shrek, you two stand stage right, by the desk. Bubblegum and Phineas, you two stand on the opposite side, stage left."
The performers complied.
"Anyway, some of the games played here on the show require suggestions given to us from the audience before each show. One such game using these suggestions is 'Scenes from a Hat'. The audience has written down a number of different scenes that they want to see the performers act out, then the best ones are picked out and put into this magicians' hat here. I'm going to pull out one idea at a time, and it's up to you four to act out as many of these as possible. Without further ado, here we go."
(Scenes from a Hat!)
The performers watched as Hades pulled the first yellow slip of paper out of the hat and unfolded it, reading the suggestion out loud.
"Ways to stop a chatty donkey."
Bubblegum stepped up first. She held up her hand, pretending to hold something in it. Then she pantomimed shoving the object into something. "Here, donkey. Have an apple." The audience laughed. Hades hit the buzzer, signaling for Bubblegum to return to her spot.
Next was Phineas. "Hello, donkey. Wanna hang out? We can play games and eat pizza."
Phineas got buzzed, and Deadpool walked onto the stage. Then he took out a handgun and fired at the stage. BANG! The audience screamed and laughed at the same time. Shrek stared in shock as Deadpool returned to his spot.
"Okay, I am now putting a blanket ban on all weapons," said Hades. "From now on, no actual weapons can be used on the show."
"Killjoy," Deadpool muttered.
Shrek shook his head and walked onto the stage, facing the audience. "ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!" Literally everyone covered their ears. Shrek finished the roar and returned to his spot.
(BUZZ!; A non-bold buzz at this point means it's time to move on to the next suggestion.)
"Sad thing is, tha' still wouldn't work," the ogre admitted. "I know tha' firsthand, but it's just somethin' I would try."
Hades shrugged. "Can't blame you," he said before pulling out the next suggestion.
"Things you should never say in front of a celebrity."
Deadpool stepped up. "So, which of my friends did you portray?"
(BUZZ!)
"What the cast of Supernatural plan to do now that the show is ending."
Phineas walked onto the stage and messed up his hair to make it look like that of Jared Padelecki (the guy who plays Sam). "Finally, after fifteen years, I can try to beat World 8 on Super Mario."
Shrek walked out next. He formed his fingers to make a cellphone. "Hey, is your refrigerator runnin'?" he asked using his best impression of Jensen Ackles (the guy who plays Dean). "Well, ya better go catch it!"
(BUZZ!)
(Author's Note: Yes, fictional characters and the people who portray them exist in my multiverse, but I imagine both sides almost never interact anyway, so it's all good. For the most part, the real-life people in my universe are unaware, but there are special cases, like with Adam and Jamie. Technically, Jared and Jensen are also aware thanks to a certain Supernatural episode. You'll see another case in this very chapter. The only thing everyone other than fourth-wall breakers like Deadpool are not aware of is that they're in a fanfic.)
"Scariest things to discover when you wake up in the morning."
Bubblegum stepped forward, pretending to yawn and scratch her arms. Her eyes widened. "Uh oh. I actually had a good night's sleep. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!"
Next was Deadpool, who laid himself down on the stage, then sat up and yawned. "Weren't these sheets white when I went to bed?" he asked.
Phineas walked up and rubbed his eyes. "Huh, Perry's here for once."
Next was Shrek. "I'm an ogre with an awesome wife and three kids. Holy cow, I'm lucky!"
Some people in the audience awed.
Deadpool walked back on the stage, pretending to wake up once again. He gasped. "Hades?! What the hell are you doing here?!"
That got a huge laugh from the audience.
(BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZZ!)
Hades shook his head, clearly fuming. The performers returned to their seats.
"That was...interesting," the Greek god said. "1,000 each to Shrek, Bubblegum, and Phineas. And -1,000 to Deadpool for shooting at the stage and making fun of me on TV."
"Whatever," Deadpool said.
"You do know I can send you into the River Styx at any point."
"Meh. I've suffered worse."
Hades glared and did the 'I'm watching you' gesture towards Deadpool, who shrugged.
"Alright, we'll be back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway? right after this. Don't go away!" He threw the magicians' hat across the stage as the show was cut to commercial.
(Meanwhile…)
What the people on the show didn't know was that just a few blocks away, the program was being watched intently by a certain trio. The three guys watched the TV from a green couch. The first was balding; he sat with his arms crossed. The second was black; he watched with a slight smile. The third was tall and thin; he had his hand on his chin.
"Hades will have to prepare for a lot more jabs at him if he wants to succeed as the host," the black man remarked. "Hey, he's a god. He should be able to handle it."
"I don't know, Wayne," said the bald man. "He looked about ready to kill Deadpool just now."
"But that still wasn't even close to the worst jabs we've made at Drew or Aisha," said the tall man. "Besides Colin, he's supposed to be evil where he comes from. As far as I know, he deserves to get ragged on."
Wayne smirked. "You're just mad that Hades called you 'irrelevant'."
"Am not!"
"Keep telling yourself that, Ryan."
Colin sniggered. "Don't worry, because if Hades wants to keep his job, he'll control his temper. I wonder what he would say if he knew we're the ones who recruited him."
"Have Chris and Don figured out we're the guys from that night in the forest?" Wayne asked.
"Don't think so. Not surprised Chris sent us Deadpool for the first one."
"Probably the BEST choice if he wanted this to start strong," Ryan pointed out.
"Doesn't that one kid with the red hair look a little young to be on an improv show?" Colin asked.
"Yes," Wayne replied. "Yes, he does."
(Back to the show…)
The commercials ended, and Hades smiled at the camera. "Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Anyone who has actually been trying to keep track of the points, let me say they don't understand the show at all."
The audience laughed.
"Now, we're gonna keep it going with a game called 'Hollywood Director'. This is for all four of you. How this works is three of the performers are going to act out a scene given to them by me. The fourth performer takes the role of a temperamental movie director. And every so often, he'll interrupt the scene, yell at how terrible the actors are, and have said actors do the scene again, but with a different style or performance suggestion. Makes sense?"
The performers nodded as they walked onto the stage.
"Excellent. Shrek, you're going to be the director. Here's the notes you'll need." Hades handed shrek a slip of paper. "When you're ready, interrupt the scene and tell the other three to do it again, but with a style listed on those notes."
Shrek nodded.
"Deadpool, Bubblegum, Phineas, you three still need your scene." He read the corresponding card. "Parents Deadpool and Bubblegum have taken their child Phineas to the amusement park, where Phineas is begging to go on their brand-new, super awesome roller coaster. Trouble is, Phineas is only tall enough to where he must have his parents ride with him. You guys will start off normally, then Shrek will have you do it again in a new style. Simple enough. Okay, start whenever you're ready."
(Hollywood Director!)
(Deadpool, Bubblegum, and Phineas are walking around the park, when Phineas stops short.)
Phineas: Ooh, The Scream Inducer. Is that a new ride?
Bubblegum: I think so.
Phineas: I wanna go on!
Bubblegum: Are you sure? It looks terrifying.
Phineas: Or awesome. I want on. Please, Mom? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Bubblegum: Well…
Deadpool: Hey, he's a big boy looking for a thrill honey. Of course, son. You can ride.
Phineas: YAY! Let's see if I'm tall enough.
(He finds the height marker and stands up straight.)
Phineas: Uh oh. I have to have an adult. Will you guys ride with me?
Deadpool: Sure.
Bubblegum: But…
Phineas: Great. Let's wait in line.
(Five seconds later…)
Deadpool: Wow, short line. Okay, let's do this!
(The three get on the ride, which raises up at first and then reaches the top of the crest. Then it starts racing down. All three scream.)
(CUT! CUT! CUT!)
Shrek walked onto the stage. "Oh, come on. You three are supposed to be a happy family. What I felt was one fight short of Divorce Court."
"Sure it wasn't Judge Judy?" Deadpool asked.
"Positive. We need something else that will get the audience off their seats. I know. Do the scene again, but as cavemen. Cavemen on roller coasters, that will be something unexpected."
Shrek walked back to his spot. "Ready? And...ACTION!"
…
Phineas: Me want ride on new coaster.
Bubblegum: Ride look scary.
Deadpool: He big boy. He go on ride.
Bubblegum: Alright.
(Phineas stands up as straight as possible while still adopting a caveman pose.)
Phineas: Uh oh. Me too short to ride alone.
Deadpool: Then we ride with you.
(CUT! CUUUUT!)
Shrek joined the performers. "You guys have any idea how weird tha' looked and sounded?"
"No," Phineas said.
"Well, it looked and sounded weird to me. This isn't how I want this scene to go. I know what we need now. We need something with action, with high stakes. Do it like it's a Western train robbery. Get what I'm saying? Western train robbery."
Sure the other performers understood, Shrek returned to his spot. "And...ACTION!"
…
(Now Deadpool, Bubblegum, and Phineas are riding horses.)
Phineas: Hey Ma, that's a mighty fine train there. Can we rob that one?
Bubblegum: Ya can't just pick any ol' train, boy. Besides, that one looks suspiciously like a roller coaster, and those haven't been invented yet.
Deadpool: And why not? He's already growing to be a fine outlaw. I say we do it.
Bubblegum: Then let's ride!
(Their "horses" race along the train.)
Deadpool: Giddyup!
Bubblegum: Wait for my cue, and we jump in!
(They continue to ride for several seconds.)
Bubblegum: NOW!
(They jump on the train.)
(CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!)
Shrek shook his head. "I don't even know what to say about tha'. You guys may have just ruined the Old West for me. Oh, I know. This scene needs some tension. That's why this time, I want ya to do the scene as if you're business executives for rival companies. That's not too much ta ask, is it? And…ACTION!"
…
Phineas: I bet you two anything that I can last longest on that roller coaster without barfing. My fellow executives are known for their strong stomachs, after all.
Bubblegum: Well, it helps that you run a Mexican restaurant chain. But WE have Thai food. You have to have guts of steel to handle food as spicy as that.
Deadpool: So says you. My company adds beans to every food item we have.
Bubblegum: Oh, it's on now.
(They get on the roller coaster.)
Deadpool: Get your barf bags ready, people.
Phineas: You first. My restaurants are the best in the world!
Bubblegum: Don't make me laugh, boys!
(The coaster starts going down. The three scream. Then they pull out "paper bags" and upchuck in them.)
(BUZZZZZZZZ! BUZZ!)
The performers stood up and returned to their seats amid the applause.
Hades smiled. "Beans? Really, Deadpool?"
"If they can make you fart, they can make you barf."
"Can't argue with that," Bubblegum said. "I mean, if you DO eat too much…"
"Okay, we've had enough of that imagery for one day. 1,000 points each, and Shrek, you would make one good movie director."
Shrek smiled. "I aim ta please."
"Indeed. Now we're gonna move onto our next game. Fair warning, you four miiiiight not like it."
Deadpool raised his head in surprise. "Oh no."
"Are you okay?" Bubblegum asked him.
"I know what he's talking about."
"Wait, what IS he talking about?" Phineas asked.
Hades grinned sadistically. "That's right, Deadpool. You know what game I'm talking about. This next game is legendary within the Whose Line? franchise, famous for being so loved by fans and so hated by the performers. This is considered one of the more difficult games ever done on the show, and will likely cause you guys a lot of pain. So brace yourselves. I'm talking about the myth, the legend…'HOEDOWN'!"
The audience cheered, and Deadpool shook his head. "Of course," he said as he and the others got up.
"Gotta do what you gotta do," Hades reminded him. "How Hoedown works is we have our live pianist play a Western-style song, and then each of the performers are going to sing their own four line, AABB rhyme scheme stanza right off the top of their heads, related to a topic given to them by the audience here. This continues until all four have sung. Also, the final line of the fourth stanza is repeated by all four performers to end the song. Tricky to pull off, that's why this game is usually saved for last in real life. First off, usually the order in which you guys sing is determined by the order in which you sit. But this time, we're gonna let you guys decide the order yourselves."
The performers began shifting around on the stage, until they came to an agreement and settled on their final order: Bubblegum, Shrek, Phineas, Deadpool.
"You must be a brave man to want to go last," Hades said.
Deadpool shrugged.
Hades faced the audience. "Now, what I need from the audience is a random topic you would probably sing about. Can be anything, just keep it PG."
The audience started shouting out a number of different topics. Various things could be heard, among them "chocolate", "snakes", and even "Brad Pitt". Then the god stared in the direction of someone who had shouted 'lightbulbs".
"Lightbulbs? A simple one, shouldn't break their back too much." He looked at the performers again. "Alright, let's hear the Lightbulbs 'Hoedown'. Take it away, pianist."
(Author's Note: I will be using the same song format that I used in TDE2.)
(Hoedown!)
Theme: Lightbulbs
(The music starts, and the four begin doing a slight doe-see-doe. Bubblegum taps her chin for a second, before giving a sharp nod and starting to sing.)
Bubblegum: I don't know where I would be without a source of light.
It helps us all see in the dark and lets us read at night.
It also comes on in my head when I have an idea.
The latest said make the right choice when you buy from IKEA!
(She doe-see-does on the stage and smiles. It then cuts to Shrek, who already has a verse ready.)
Shrek: I just use candles for my light, it's just tha way I live.
There is no electricity, not a spark ta give.
But what else can you do when ya live where I come from?
Where donkeys talk and cats wear boots, but here, that's pretty dumb!
(Shrek links arms with Bubblegum and they start spinning around. Up next is Phineas.)
Phineas: Thomas Edison gave us light when he got that bulb to work.
Since then he's been as famous as Captain Kirk.
Trial and error, he did not quit, no he did not fail.
Though others beat him to the punch, he's the guy we hail!
Bubblegum: You're not wrong.
(Deadpool stands thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then, though it's difficult to see under his mask, he smiles.)
Deadpool: I think the lightbulb is a stand-up invention.
Giving us lots of warmth and light is its intention.
But honestly, why use one when you can do this instead.
Just use the fire burning on top of Hades' head.
All: On top of Hades' head!
(The pianist finishes off the last few notes as the audience applauds the group.)
(BUZZ!)
"Oh, come on!"
Hades looked annoyed. "Did I really deserve that one?"
"Yes," Deadpool replied.
"Shut up. Anyway, we'll be right back with more Whose Line?, stay tuned to find out who the winner is. Don't go away!"
(Meanwhile…)
"YES! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS TO DO A HOEDOWN!"
Surprised, Colin and Wayne gave their friend a long, hard look. "Okay, that just happened," Wayne said.
Ryan sat back down, calm once again. "That felt good," he said.
(Back to the show…)
All four performers were back on the stage when the show came back on.
"Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?," Hades said. "Tonight's winner, since this is the first episode, is all four of our performers. Yeah, I know. Total shocker. Anyway, for our final game, they're gonna do one called 'Props', a rapid-fire game with a ton of scenes. In this game, the performers are divided up into teams of two, and are each given their own props. The duos must use their props in as many different ways as they can think of."
The performers had already been paired up: Deadpool and Bubblegum, Shrek and Phineas.
"Deadpool and Bubblegum, here's your prop."
They were given what looked like two large plastic yellow folders.
"Shrek and Phineas, here you go."
Their prop was a black leather cylinder filled with foam.
"So, as many ways to use your props as you can. We'll start with Deadpool and Bubblegum."
(Props!)
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
Deadpool took one of the folders and began closing and opening it repeatedly. "Waka waka waka waka waka waka." He began chasing around a silent Bubblegum with it.
(Shrek/Phineas)
Phineas began punching the cylinder with Shrek standing behind it. "Come on, you'll have to do better than tha' to beat the champ!"
"I won't let you down, coach!"
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
Bubblegum had combined both folders to make a three-sided object. Now she was laying down and using it as that panel thing sunbathers use. "This is the life," she said.
(Shrek/Phineas)
Shrek pretended to stand on the cylinder as Phineas spun it on its side. "I'm tha best log roller in tha world," the ogre boasted.
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
They were holding the folders like a newspaper. "Hey look," Deadpool said, pointing to a random spot in his folder. "Browns lost again."
(Shrek/Phineas)
"You sure we can't just ride this to get off the island?" Phineas asked, pointing at the cylinder.
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
The two were laying on the ground, trying to cover themselves up with the folders. "I told you not to buy the cheaper tent," Bubblegum complained.
(Shrek/Phineas)
Shrek had the tube standing up. Then he pushed down on it, making a buzzer sound. "What is New Zealand?"
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
The folders were now both open and leaning against each other.
"B-5?" Deadpool asked.
Bubblegum gasped. "You sunk my battleship!"
(Shrek/Phineas)
Phineas started pantomiming driving a car, before said "car" crashed into a large obstacle, otherwise known as the cylinder.
(Deadpool/Bubblegum)
Both folders had been lain down flat on the floor. Deadpool stepped on them and began "surfing", all while carrying Bubblegum over his head.
"Hey, I'm hanging ten!"
(Shrek/Phineas)
"Hey, who cut off the legs on my horse?" Shrek asked, looking at the cylinder.
(BUZZZZZZZ!)
Hades clapped along with the audience. "And that's our first episode! We'll bring you more as time goes by, with new performers each time. Hope to see you all again soon. Until then, I'm Hades, God of the Underworld. Goodnight!"
The audience cheered louder as the performers waved.
(One more thing…)
The credits wrapped up and the screen went dark. Colin turned off the TV.
"So, think this will work?" he asked the others.
"That wasn't bad for a first try," Ryan said. "Maybe fictional characters CAN make this work."
Wayne nodded. "Hey, I enjoyed it."
"Now we just have to send Deadpool and Phineas back to their shows," Colin said. "They've agreed not to talk about their appearances on this for now."
"You sure DEADPOOL will keep silent?" Wayne asked.
"Sure. How bad can he be?"
POP!
"Found you guys!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The three screamed and scrambled behind the couch.
"Probably the best reaction I'm gonna get," Deadpool said, brushing himself off. "Anyway, I knew the whole time that you guys got Chris and Don to let Phineas and I on the first episode. AND that you hired Hades. All I want to say is thanks for that, and I'm a huge fan of you guys."
"Uh, no problem," Ryan said, still weirded out.
"Awesome. Also, did you notice Shrek is actually TALLER than you, Ryan?"
"Hadn't...thought about that, actually."
Deadpool then looked at Wayne. "I can definitely say you earned your The Masked SInger win, though I'm bummed you didn't sing 'What Does The Fox Say?' during that season."
Too stunned to say anything, Wayne shrugged.
"And hey, Colin. Tell me, do people use your head as a mirror?"
"Ouch, I think that's a new one," Wayne whispered.
Colin looked annoyed. "If you're gonna scare us to death, can you AT LEAST not make a bald joke? Only these guys are allowed to."
Deadpool shrugged. "No promises. Anyway, I'm gonna head back to TDE3. Thanks for letting me on the new WLIIA for fictional characters, hope you invite me back. Until then, see you later."
POP!
The mercenary teleported, and the three were left there standing in shock.
"You know, I thought I was prepared for anything at this point, but now I'm not so sure," Ryan admitted.
"I hate to think what he could come up with in future appearances," Wayne added.
Colin stared ahead. "What have we done?"
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And that pretty much handles the first official chapter/episode. Hopefully it's a good sign of things to come.
Things started off well enough. True to my word, my first group of performers were made up of characters from my other stories. You had former competitors Princess Bubblegum and Shrek, as well as active competitors Deadpool (Total Drama Everything 3) and Phineas (The Ridonculous Race: Multiverse Mayhem). The games they played: 'Weird Newscasters', 'Two-Line Vocabulary', 'Scenes from a Hat', 'Hollywood Director', 'Hoedown', and 'Props'. A good start.
I chose Hades from Hercules to be the new host for two reasons: he was the most requested, and I feel his Chris-like charisma and sense of humor combined with his short temper would make him the perfect person to run the show. The hosts the U.S. version has had (Drew Carey and Aisha Tyler) have proven they can give as good as they get when it comes to insults, and I wanted the host here to do the same. Because let's face it, Hades will face a lot of good-natured verbal abuse.
As of right now, all currently active competitors on TDE3 or TRR:MM are ineligible to appear as performers on this story until they are eliminated from their respective competitions. The exceptions are Deadpool from TDE3 and Alucard from TRR:MM (who ALMOST made it on this first one before I got an idea for a future vampire chapter), though I may include an invite to this story as a prize for winning a challenge or leg. Snake Eyes, Ferb, and Toph will unfortunately never be considered. Sorry to fans of the three.
The rest of the fictional multiverse, however, is open. If you want a certain character to appear, just let me know. I've already gotten a ton of suggestions, and I thank you for that.
I am also open to suggestions for games you want to see, and what you want to see IN those games ('Hoedown' topics, suggestions for 'Scenes From A Hat', etc.). Since I know most of you have never seen the real-life show, most of the ideas at first will likely come from me, but as time goes on, I hope to get more and more ideas from you guys. For example, some games involve serenading an audience member with a made-up song. If you want a fictional character to have someone sing to them in a certain song style (as done in the game 'Song Styles'), just say the word.
NOTE: I will only use ACTUAL games that have been played on the show, mostly from the U.S. but I won't say no to a game exclusively from the U.K. version. If you want a full list of games, the real show has its own Wiki site you can check out anytime (and no, I'm not affiliated with said site).
Lastly, there's the topic of the three guys that were shown watching the first "episode". Here's an explanation: Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady, and Colin Mochrie are the three regular performers on the real life Whose Line?, and have been since almost the beginning of the original run (heck, Ryan and Colin were regulars in the U.K., and are the show's resident B.F.F. pair).I merely included them in this chapter to reveal their identities as the guys who talked to Chris and Don. Heck, R.W.C? That's all their initials.
But from here on out, I'll mostly just make up commercials on those spots where a commercial break is announced, and those three will only make appearances occasionally. I love those guys, but this story isn't about them. Doesn't mean they won't make an impact in my other stories someday though.
I think that's about as much information as I can give you before you go insane, so I'll end it here. I have no idea who my performers for next time will be, nor the games they will play. But I promise to come out with a new chapter soon.
Until then, read and review, fave and follow, send in ideas for performers and games, stuff like that. Lastly, let me know if I should change the category of the story from "Total Drama series" to something else.
See you all next time. TheMasterKat out!