15

Dear Birdie -

The years go by slower and slower with every passing one, and still I have yet to see you since our time in England. I probably wouldn't even be able to write to you if we didn't have Gilbird to deliver messages. He's an awesome bird, isn't he? I picked him myself. I don't even remember how long I've had him, but he always comes through. One of the few I guess I can rely on to be a loyal friend forever - besides you, of course.

Then again, you're not really a friend, are you? We're more than that, right? Even after all this time apart, you're still mine, right?

Ignore that last bit. I shouldn't be saying stupid shit like that anyway. Of course you're still mine. You wouldn't be writing to me if you weren't. I mean, even West doesn't write to me.

West...you're still checking in on him, right? I hope he's doing okay. I'm sure it's way better than dealing with Ivan and his...moods, but France and the other Allies weren't exactly friendly to us after the last war. And this one was worse. And even if I did take most of the fall…

Ah, well, life here isn't as bad as they probably make you think. Sure, things could be better. My house arrangements are pretty much the same that I had while the war was happening. Same place, actually. You remember that, right? Where we met and you were my prisoner and I let you have my room the whole time. Yeah, well, it's still standing. Had to do some work on it and convince some other folks to leave when I came back to it, but, yep, since Berlin is split in half I happened to get the part I was living in originally. Pretty neat, I guess.

Let me know how everyone else is doing. I hate how Ivan won't let me cross the borders of the Soviet Union. Heck, he barely lets me go anywhere besides the German Democratic Republic and his own house, and it's way too cold where he lives. My people would like to have actual recognition from the outside, too, but I guess you have your own battles to worry about.

Anyway, stay awesome.

- Your awesome boyfriend, Gilbert

~!~

Germany watches Canada read the letter. He taps his finger on the coaster and picks up his mug to drink some more coffee, but then he's eyeing Canada the whole time. The silence is awkward and he wishes Gilbird hadn't come in to deliver a letter right now. He knows his brother has been in contact with Canada, but seeing it happen in front of his face makes his guilt all the stronger.

Canada will probably ask him to send a letter of his own, and he'll shake his head. He doesn't feel appropriate breaking protocol to sneak letters, even if Gilbert is his brother. There is too much separating them now. Too much holding him back from writing. No matter what Gilbert said on that one lucky meeting after the war, Germany still can't bring himself to believe the forgiveness he was offered.

No, he won't send a letter, and he won't read one if Gilbert sends one to him. One day, they'll meet face to face and they'll hash things out again. But for now -

Germany closes his hand into a gentle fist on his leg and tries to keep it from bouncing. There's too much between them. Forgiveness or not, it'll never be the same. And this separation - this - this pure difference between them now. They're growing in different directions with different leaders. Capitalism versus communism.

"He's asking about you again," Canada says into the silence, folding the letter and placing it on the table. "Still thinking about you, even now."

Germany feels a lump lodge in his throat. "I -"

"I know," Canada sighs, sitting back in his wooden chair. "I don't expect you to write. He would really appreciate it, though."

Germany shakes his head. Again. It's hard to speak. He's explained it all before, and Canada smiles at him with soft understanding. He'd never have pegged Canada as the one his brother would fall in love with and write to in such a situation. If he had thought Canada of all nations would lead to Prussia turning against him in the midst of war, he probably would have kept Gilbert in the fighting instead of sending him to interrogate.

Well, that's the past, and that's his mistake. Or, maybe, he did something good by leading his brother to Canada. It looks like the two get along very well. If only it hadn't come at such a cost. If only -

"I'll respond to this later," Canada mumbles.

Germany nods, lifting his mug of coffee to sip on the hot beverage. "You don't have to stay."

"Huh?" Canada's eyes jerk up to his and then dance away. "I'm not - uhm - bothering you or anything, am I?'

"It's not that," Germany reassures as quickly as possible. "I figured you'd want to respond as soon as possible, that's all."

"Oh, well -"

The other nation bites his bottom lip and stares off at the wall. Germany sets his coffee down on the coaster and tries not to smile. His brother really did stumble into someone who cared about him. It's nice to see. Since so many other nations had gone against Gilbert, it's definitely nice to know there's at least one out there still thinking of his brother in good terms.

Though it still baffles him that someone so soft spoken and awkward in conversation could have attracted Gilbert. He'd always expected his brother to make amends with Hungary at some point, since he talked of her enough and they had been close childhood friends. Canada is some large nation from across the sea who always seems to be hidden under the shadow of the British Empire - or now, America.

And yet there's a kindness in Canada that is absent among most of the European nations. A kindness and innocence that makes him stand apart when he comes over here. Germany has been glad for the shy nation's visits; he reminds him of Italy in a way, though Italy is much more rambunctious and outgoing. But the gentle air and reassuring presence has been something he's missed far too much.

Germany groans at the thought. He shouldn't have burned those bridges with Italy. He can't imagine Feliciano would ever want to see him again. It's been years since the war and Italy has yet to show his face. Ludwig misses him more than he misses his own brother, if he were to admit the truth.

"I guess I'll take the opportunity to leave then," Canada mumbles. "I - uh - hope everything is going all right with you?"

Germany gives a weak smile, though he tries to appear cordial. "Yes, inasmuch as it can, at least."

Canada winces. "Sorry. I - I wish they had listened to my input when it came to the end decisions."

Ludwig waves a hand in the air. "Not your fault. I have a feeling I'm doing much better than Gilbert, though. You can tell him that when you write to him."

"You could - uh - tell him yourself, you know."

Germany is already shaking his head. "I'll wait to talk to him in person. You can tell him that , too."

"Oh, all right, sure."

Canada gives an awkward smile and stands up, leaving his own drink on the table. Germany follows him to his feet and they shake hands. A few absurd social pleasantries are exchanged and then he's leading the other nation out of his small home. It's not the mansion that sits in Berlin - that's resting on the Eastern side, sadly. He's not even in Berlin right now. Canada probably wouldn't be able to visit - or even want to - if he were staying in West Berlin, considering its placement in the world right now, but this will do. Ludwig gets by every day knowing he's in a much better shape than his brother, and knowing Gilbert will be toughing out whatever terrible conditions he's thrown into no matter the circumstances.

Maybe he should tell Canada to add that in the letter, too, or, no, he'll wait. Hopefully it won't be too long before he sees his brother again. Hopefully they both survive whatever the future holds for them.

~!~

Feliciano Vargas, the personification and representative of the nation of Italy, walks along the large wall separating two brothers. It is cold and he is bundled heavily in a coat and scarf with a pair of earmuffs over his head while snow falls on his reddish brown hair. The curl in his hair droops significantly as he takes one step after another.

He is not sure if Germany will sense him in West Berlin. He is not even sure if Germany is here . But he wanted to see the famous Berlin Wall so here he is, a stranger in a strange land. It has been far too long since he walked these streets. Memories dance before his eyelids as he stares blankly at the graffiti on the wall. If not for the ache in his heart wanting to make amends and see the damages caused by the war, he might not even be here now.

But if Germany finds him, it will be quite the surprise, won't it?

Italy feels his lips lift into a smile as he pauses in his steps and huddles among the warmth of his winter clothes. Clothes that Germany bought him years ago upon realizing that Italy was not so used to the cold weather that could occasionally strike the northern edges of the continent. Oh, he closes his eyes on the memory and smiles wider, almost giggling at the image of Germany awkwardly struggling to find something fitting for him. Teasing Germany has always been a fun pastime, but memories like that make him long for the man underneath all the stoic obedience.

He misses Ludwig. Years have passed since that horrible war, and a lot has happened to Germany, to him , to all of Europe in that time. The wall he stands beside is proof enough of that. Torn in two. An island in a sea of red. Italy shivers, imagining what his friends are dealing with on the other side of the wall. His whole country went into fascism in an effort to avoid the communist ideals, so of course he worries for his friends on the other side of the Iron Curtain. He worries for Gilbert most of all.

White smoke leaves his lips as he breathes out into the chilly air. He turns from the wall and then freezes in place, the cold rising up from his boots to the earmuffs on his head. Germany stands in the passing crowd, a figure locked into place by the stunning sight in front of him. Not sure what Ludwig is like now, not sure how his beloved feels after all this time apart, Italy does the only thing he can think to do in a time like this.

He smiles as warmly as he can. "Hi, Ludwig."

And then Ludwig comes running and suddenly he's in the bigger man's arms and it's all so wonderful . He laughs and laughs and laughs. He cannot believe he is accepted back so quickly, and the touching and hugging is something he definitely appreciates. He's even sure that Germany goes to such lengths because of course Italy would love the hugs.

They spin around and around on the icy ground and Italy giggles as Germany almost slips with all the movement. Then, Ludwig sets him back on his own two feet and Feliciano stares up at the man he loves deep in his heart. The one he believes is a reincarnation of a past love. The one he has been wanting to share life with above all…

...and the pain in those eyes makes him gasp. "Ludwig? What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Germany asks. "Nothing, Italy. I - I just need to apologize."

"Apologize?" Italy tilts his head. "For what?"

"For -"

Germany stops like a cat had stolen his tongue right out of his mouth. Italy watches as so many emotions flood across Ludwig's usually hard, controlled face. Pain. Shock. Understanding. Sadness. But also - happy?

Feliciano frowns as he tries to make sense of it all. Did he say something out of the ordinary? He doesn't think Germany should be apologizing for anything. Not now. It's been too long to bring up those old memories. But then, he realizes, Germany is still living in the past. And how could he not? The past is all around him. The past is what has caused all this - and the wall standing before them now represents all that they try to hide away from, well, if they wanted to hide.

So Feliciano reaches out to brush a hand across Ludwig's cheek. Small flakes of snow land and melt on the skin underneath his gloves. Those blue eyes are so upset. So much is hiding behind them now. He can't imagine the shock of knowing you can lose yourself so badly as a nation. Italy doesn't have the greatest of pasts when it comes to own control, to his own inner monster hiding way deep underneath the exterior. But Germany, a relatively new nation in the grand history of Europe, has now experienced something far worse for the history books, something that no doubt eats at him inside every single hour of every single day.

"Ludwig, it's okay," Italy says with a soft smile. "You're forgiven. You don't need to apologize anymore for anything."

A single tear slips from those blue eyes and Feliciano leans up on his toes in an effort to pull himself in closer to the one he loves. "Feli."

The sweet nickname feels his heart with warmth to match whatever chill the wintry air wants to land on them. At last. The bridges are mended. Such a simple moment and yet something that took so many years. He has to fight the urge to lose some tears of his own at the relief that floods through his entire being.

When Ludwig leans down to press their lips together, Italy welcomes his kiss with open mouth and heated desire. He doesn't care if they're out in the open. He's never really cared for such social propriety anyway, and it's always such a nice moment when Germany manages to break his own social norms to surprise him like this. Of course this is a special time to outlast all the others.

He throws his arms around Ludwig's broad shoulders and grips tightly into his coat and the edges of his hair. They kiss in the falling snow and they pour out their emotions with each passing second. In his mind, Italy swears he can hear the choirs of angels singing. His Ludwig is back. Their relationship is mended. Everything is as it should be.

Well -

They break apart, still embracing, and stare at the Berlin Wall in silence until Ludwig clears his throat. "How did you get here?"

Italy smiles up at him. "We're nations, Germany. I have ways. And besides, it's not hard to cross East Germany if you have a passport."

Ludwig frowns, but then nods and concedes the point. "Let's go back to my new capital. It has been too long since we sat down and had a good, uh, talk."

The blush coats Ludwig's face and Italy smiles wider. He knows exactly what his lover is implying, and he has to admit, cuddling up in warmth with someone else would be a lovely way to pass the cold season.

So he drops his arm down to Germany's side and finds his hand. Entwining their fingers together, he leads them away from the Berlin Wall, away from the monument that separates the world right now. It's time to focus on them for a change, to iron out all the little details of what their love has been through.

"I'll stay for as long as I can," Italy says. "Until you're sick of me."

Ludwig grunts a little laugh in response. "Sure. That might take eternity before that happens, though."

~!~

Dear Gil,

Life is pretty much the same here. You'll be happy to know that I have made efforts for full independence from Great Britain. It hasn't completely happened yet, of course, but I am slowly pulling away England's control. I've even debuted the maple leaf on our flag as a nation symbol. I'm sure you can appreciate that, especially considering how much you love my maple syrup, huh?

I miss you more than words can express. I hope life is treating you fairly well across the way. I know you say not to worry too much, but I can't help it. America is always spouting crazy stories about life under the Soviet Union and it makes me scared for you. I know you're awesome, though. You can get through anything.

Of course we're more than friends! We're officially boyfriends, right? Even if it's long distance and we can only communicate by letter - thanks to Gilbird; by the way, he really is a wonderfully sweet and intelligent bird. One day I will introduce you to Kuma, my polar bear. I forget his full name a lot, and he tends to forget who I am, too, but he's been with me since childhood. Immortal animal companions really are the most loyal friends we'll ever have, huh?

Though now you have me, too, and I hope I have you.

I can't wait for the day when Russia allows you to visit. I can't believe he's keeping everyone holed up behind his territory. Is he worried you'll leave? I don't understand. He didn't seem like that bad of a guy when I met him.

Germany, errr, West Germany I guess, is doing well. The Western powers are really helping him out this time. Though I know it's just a way for them to prove capitalism is better than communism. His country is progressing, though, so I guess it's working out.

I hear Italy made up with him and they're back to seeing each other regularly. I feel kind of awkward whenever I visit, and neither of them feel comfortable sending letters. I've tried to get Germany to send you something, but he says he wants to talk to you in person whenever that may be. I think he's still worried you hate him or something for what he did. I think that guilt is tearing him up inside, but between me and Italy, he'll be okay.

Wish you were here.

- Your Birdie (you'll have to explain that nickname to me one of these days, by the way)

Historical Notes:

1) Did you know that West Berlin was literally inside East Germany? Look up maps. I was always taught / led to believe that the wall literally separated East and West, but the Berlin Wall actually went all the way around West Berlin. It was like an island in Soviet territory.

2) Canada gained full independence from Great Britain in 1982 but made small strides throughout the years. They still recognize the Queen of England but England doesn't have ANY control, I believe. (If you're Canadian feel free to correct me) - Oh and the maple leaf debuted on the flag about 1965.

3) Back on the West Berlin topic, you could pass from West Germany into East Germany to get to West Berlin if you had a passport. Going from East Germany to West Germany territory was a bit harder, so I assume.

4) Fascism arose in Italy and Germany in part because of a reaction to the Bolshevik Revolution over in Russia; there had been Socialist parties and whatnot but they steadily lost power as fascist leaders were able to capitalize on the fears of messy revolution. (Of course there's A LOT of factors but that's one that's alluded to specifically here)