What do you think will happen if a stereotypical family man, a flamboyant skeleton, a time-hopping pilot, and a sadistic teddy bear all came together for a solid day of nonsensical improv acting?
Luckily, you don't have to answer that today, because you're about to read it firsthand.
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As the audience cheered, the establishing shot captured the look of the entire studio, as well as the four people sitting in the performers' chairs. From left to right: a middle-aged, overweight, yellowish man in a white shirt, a somewhat anatomically incorrect skeleton with a red cape, a young British woman wearing a harness-like gadget on her upper body, and a black-and-white teddy bear with the white side looking innocent and the black side looking terrifying.
"Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?. On tonight's show:
"D'oh! Homer Simpson from The Simpsons!"
The yellow man waved and mouthed, "Hi, Mom.".
"Nyeh heh heh. Papyrus from Undertale!"
The skeleton winked at the camera.
"Cheers, love. The cavalry's here. Tracer from Overwatch!"
The woman gave her signature little finger wave.
"And, it's punishment time. Monokuma from Danganronpa!"
The bear stood up on his seat and began to dance.
"And I'm your host, Hades. Come on down, let's have some fun!"
The god walked down the steps and took his seat at the desk next to the stage, and the audience stopped cheering.
"Hello, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?," Hades told everyone. "The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. So why in the name of the River Styx do I give them out?"
The audience laughed, and so did everyone onstage.
"Anyway, the key thing to keep in mind is that everything you're about to see tonight's gonna be improvised right off the tops of our performers' heads based off of suggestions from the audience and these cards I miraculously haven't burned yet." He held up the cards for all to see. "After every round, I'll give out some arbitrary points. Don't know why, because I'll just pick whoever I feel like as the winner at the end, while the losers will mock the winner for years to come."
Tracer and Papyrus crossed their fingers.
"And before we get started, I just want to make one little warning to one of our performers tonight," Hades said before looking at Monokuma. "Listen up, buddy. If you pull any kind of crap tonight like roping us all into one of those weird Killing Games, I will burn you to a crisp."
Monokuma shrugged. "You don't scare me. Besides, I thought you enjoyed the Killing Games, since they bring in a ton of despair. Surely, the God of the Underworld enjoys that."
"Yeah, but that's not what the audience and people watching at home want. What they want is to see you attempt improv. And as you mentioned, I'm a god. So don't even think about it."
"Don't worry, Hades. I have no intention of trying to kill the fine people sitting here with me tonight. I am a huge fan of all three of them, and to force them to kill each other? I just couldn't BEAR it!"
Papyrus groaned. "DANG IT. ANOTHER PUN-OBSESSED PERSON TO DEAL WITH."
(Author's Note: Due to the way Papyrus' text appears in Undertale, everything he says in this will be in caps, unless he's singing.)
"You're used to it," Hades reminded him before moving forward with the show. "Now let's get the show rolling. Our first game tonight is called 'Questions Only'. This is for all four of you, but will initially only have Homer and Tracer on the stage."
Everyone stood up, Homer and Tracer moving to the stage while Papyrus and Monokuma taking opposite sides; Papyrus stood stage right, Monokuma stood stage left.
"The object of this game is fairy simple," Hades explained. "Two people at a time will act out a scene, but every sentence you guys say must be in the form of a question. If someone messes up, I'll buzz them out and they'll switch out with the person behind them. For this game, Tracer and Papyrus will switch back and forth whenever one of them messes up, while Homer will switch back and forth with Monokuma. You guys get it?"
The performers nodded.
"Great. The scene you guys are doing is: it's Open House at the local high school. Only speak in questions. Homer, Tracer, get us started."
(Questions Only!)
(Homer and Tracer face each other.)
Tracer: Are you Steven's science teacher?
Homer: Who's asking?
Tracer: Would you believe I'm his mother?
Homer: Is this true?
Tracer: Do I have to keep explaining?
(Silence.)
Homer: Yes.
(BUZZ!; Homer exits, switches with Monokuma.)
Monokuma: Can you tell me where the gymnasium is?
Tracer: Do I look like a teacher here to you?
Monokuma: Do you want that answer honestly?
Tracer: Why do you need to go to the gym anyway?
Monokuma: Is that your business?
(Tracer takes too long thinking of a response. BUZZ!; She switches with Papyrus.)
Papyrus: CAN YOU HELP ME HIDE FROM MY MOM AND MY SCIENCE TEACHER?
Monokuma: What's in it for me, Steven?
Papyrus: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M MADE OF MONEY? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M HIDING BECAUSE THEY"RE DISCUSSING MY BAD GRADES IN THAT CLASS?
Monokuma: How does that concern me?
Papyrus: HOW DOES IT NOT?
Monokuma: Do you realize how dumb that question was?
Papyrus: DON'T CARE.
(BUZZ!; Papyrus switches with Tracer.)
Tracer: Who's the best cheerleader in the entire school?!
Monokuma: Is it anyone but you?
Tracer: Are you really that dumb?
Monokuma: Are you?
Tracer: What's that supposed to mean?
Monokuma: Are you, or are you not, a cheerleader?
Tracer: Do you really want to do this with me, math nerd?
(Monokuma takes a second to process that.)
Monokuma: No.
(BUZZ; Monokuma switches with Homer.)
Homer: Can I go to the bathroom?
Tracer: You know you're not in class, right?
(BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZZ!)
The performers walked back to their seats amid the cheers from the audience.
Hades was laughing. "And that is why I never watched Beverly Hills, 90210."
"HEY, THAT WAS A GOOD SHOW," Papyrus said.
"Just for saying that, you don't get any points this round."
"THEN SOMEONE DOESN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT GOOD TELEVISION."
The god scoffed. "At least I've been on a TV show."
"OH? WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS SETUP THEN?"
"He has a point," Tracer pointed out.
"You're not getting points for that game either!"
Monokuma was laughing. "Keep going, you two. Homer and I are just gonna relax in all the points you're losing."
"Ooh, did we get a hot tub?" Homer asked.
"That was just a joke, but keep trying."
"CAN WE JUST MOVE ON ALREADY?" Papyrus asked.
Hades nodded. "Yes, indeed. So let's move on to our next game, which is called 'Song Styles'. This is a game typically for only one person. In this case, that's Papyrus."
Papyrus nodded and stood up.
"And he'll be accompanied by our unnamed professional musicians off to the side."
The musicians nodded.
"Anyway, how this game works is that the lone performer for the game must sing an entirely improvised song to a complete stranger in the style we give them. In the first U.S. run, that stranger would be someone in the audience. For the revival, it's usually a celebrity guest that has been invited onto the show. In this case, the people we bring in will always be fictional characters, like the performers themselves. For this instance, we're gonna teleport in a character we chose prior to the show. Boys, start the teleporter!"
A strange beeping sound rang through the studio, and then a horizontal portal appeared out of thin air, hovering above the stage. A few seconds later, a screaming figure fell out of the portal and landed with a thud. The portal closed, and the man stood up. He was a tall, very muscular man with orange hair and wearing a Greek tunic.
"That's right, guys," Hades announced. "Straight from my own universe, it's Hercules!"
The man stood up and waved shyly at the cheering audience. Then he looked at Hades. "Okay, what's the big idea?" he asked. "This isn't a scheme to take over Olympus, is it?"
"Trust me, it's not," Hades reassured.
"Then what's going on here?"
One of the stage assistants then walked onto the stage and whispered in Hercules' ear. After a few seconds, the demigod nodded, showing he understood.
"So I'm on an improv show and the weird-looking skeleton is gonna sing to me?"
"Pretty much," Hades said. "Papyrus, you're going to sing a song about Hercules here. And you're gonna sing it in the style of 70's disco."
The skeleton nodded. "YOU JUST GAVE ME THE EASIEST STYLE I COULD POSSIBLY DO."
"Yeah, you're welcome. Anyway, 70's disco number to Hercules. Take it away."
(Song Styles!)
(The music starts, arranged as a typical 70's disco song. Hercules nods to the beat, while Papyrus begins to pull off a few dance moves.)
Papyrus: Hercules, you're super burly.
Super strong and your hair is so curly
Strongest on the planet, that is plain to see
Oh, show these guys you can bench press me.
(Hercules nods, lays down, picks Papyrus up, and begins bench pressing him while Papyrus is still singing.)
Papyrus: Hercules, stronger than the rest
Hercules, putting him to the test
Hercules, the strongest man alive
A tough act to follow 'cause those muscles are no lie.
(Hercules sets Papyrus back down.)
Papyrus: If you all think the truth is odd
Just ask that god Hades over there
He knows not to deal with this demigod
Or he'll be thrown into the River Styx, so beware!
Hercules!
(Papyrus and Hercules continue dancing. Behind them, the other performers are moving their heads to the beat. Hades is laughing.)
Papyrus: The strongest man alive!
(He finishes with an epic disco pose as the music ends with a flourish.)
(BUZZ!)
The audience cheered, and Papyrus high fived Hercules.
"THANKS FOR ACTUALLY ENJOYING THAT," the skeleton said.
"No problem," Hercules said.
Hades was laughing. "Never thought I would get to see that. Hercules, thanks for coming onto the show and being a good sport, but now we have to send you back to Greece. Good luck. And just know, I WILL take another shot at Olympus eventually."
Hercules waved farewell to the performers, and he was immediately beamed out of the studio. Papyrus returned to his seat, still slightly dancing.
"Was the bench pressing really necessary?" Hades asked.
"I WAS THINKING ABOUT HAVING HIM BENCH PRESS HOMER," Papyrus replied.
Homer shook his head. "I don't want to die yet,"
"Anyway, 1,000 points to Papyrus for proving he can indeed dance."
Everyone cheered.
Hades nodded. "Yep, he can dance, and I lost the bet. Now, let's move onto a game called 'Newsflash'. This one's for Homer, Tracer, and Monokuma. Homer, please make your way to the green screen off to the side. You two, sit at the two stools."
The three moved to their respective positions.
"How this game works is Tracer and Monokuma are two news anchors, while Homer is a field reporter out on the scene of a breaking news story. However, the field reporter in this game doesn't know what that story is because he's in front of a green screen. Said story will be projected on the screen, but Homer won't be able to see it. All he sees is a green wall."
Homer turned around and looked at the wall, nodding. "Just green."
"However, the rest of us can watch the story on the monitors around the studio, as well as on your TV screens. The object of the game is for Homer to figure out what the heck is going on behind him, with help from hints given to him by Tracer and Monokuma during their 'broadcast'. Tracer, Monokuma, it's up to you guys to help Homer out. So whenever you're ready, take it away."
(Newsflash!)
"So did you hear that Cindy dumped Mark for Jake?" Tracer asked in a low voice.
"I know, right?" Monokuma whispered. "What does one have over the other anyway?"
Just then, the bear pretended to realize he was in the middle of a broadcast. "Oh, crap! We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news bulletin!"
"We're going to hear from field reporter Homer Simpson as he covers this mad story," Tracer announced. "Homer, can you hear us?"
(News image: Clips of Sean Connery in his various movie roles)
(Author's Note: I literally had no idea what to do for my first "Newsflash" play until recently. Rest in Peace, Sean Connery.)
"Yes, I can barely hear you over the insanity going on right now!" Homer exclaimed. Behind him, King Arthur was addressing his subjects and raising his sword. "In all my years of reporting, I have never seen something so mind blowing as everything happening behind me!"
"Homer, can you tell us all how this started?" Tracer asked.
"Eyewitnesses say this all started when two complete strangers suddenly began arguing over who should be the next mayor of Springfield, and it all exploded from there."
On the screen, James Bond was emerging from the drysuit with his tuxedo still pristine. "We want to know, Homer, if you're a little shaken over what's going on," Monokuma asked.
Homer gestured to the screen. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?! I'm scared to death here!"
"Okay, you're definitely a little shaken, hopefully you won't further stir that fury," Monokuma said.
"I hope not, because to tell you the truth, I am seriously looking for a hiding place."
Now Professor Henry Jones was shown helping his son fight off Nazis. "Certainly looks frightening out there," Tracer added. "Oh, look! I've actually heard of that guy, he's from the state of Indiana!"
Homer nodded. "Yeah, I know who you're talking about. That guy still owes me twenty bucks!"
"Can't help you there, buddy," Monokuma said.
The screen was still showing Henry Jones and his son, this time them riding a motorcycle and being chased. The audience gasped when the son managed to flip one of the pursuers' own rides over. Hearing the gasps, Homer ducked.
"Holy cow, that was a close one! See how dangerous it is out here?"
"I must say, recent events have made this story rather emotional for me to watch," Tracer said, wiping a tear off her face. "Do you feel the same way, Homer?"
"Oh, absolutely. Can't these guys just hurry up and decide who the mayor is? Or better yet, can't both candidates be the mayor?"
Monokuma shrugged as the screen switched to the movie Highlander. "I agree with that sentiment, but in some cases, you can't just come to a compromise. Sometimes, there can be only one."
"Meh, nothing a day out at Disney World can't fix."
"Homer, look out!" Tracer cried.
Homer ducked once again, at the same time Juan Sánchez Villa-Robos Ramírex was getting his head cut off, robbing Connor MacLeod of his mentor.
"Did you see how close that was?" Homer asked.
"Yes, we did," Monokuma said as the clip changed to William Forrester eating Chinese food. "I hope you don't get ahead of yourself when I ask this, but do you think reporting this story will get you a prize? I mean, what's the field reporter equivalent of a Pulitzer?"
"I have no idea, but if there is one, why haven't I won it? I mean, I cover crazy stuff like this! And all to cover up my true profession of being a spy-oh no! I've said too much!"
(BUZZZZ!)
Hades looked at Homer. "Okay, Homer. Have you figured out where you are?"
"In an James Bond movie?"
The god shrugged. "You're on the right track. Who PLAYED James Bond for a time? And was in a few other movies? He was even in Indiana Jones."
At that point, Homer understood. "Oh, it's a bunch of Sean COnnery movies."
"Yes!"
Homer, Tracer, and Monokuma all returned to their seats amidst the applause."
"A million bajillion points to Sean Connery," Hades said. "Hope that was a respectable tribute. May he rest in peace."
The performers nodded.
"Alright, we're gonna go to a commercial, but stay tuned for more Whose Line Is It Anyway?, right after this!"
(Commercial…)
"Want a place to hang out while on your lunch break? Or do you and your group of friends just want a place to chat and discuss your issues? Whatever the case, Central Perk in Manhattan is the place for you. We have what every coffee shop strives for. Nice ambience, excellent customer service, and an orange velvet couch. We have a couch, people! You and your friends can waste hours talking about life that would still entertain millions of Americans. So come on down to Central Perk. We'll have a seat waiting for you."
(Back to the show...)
The commercial ended, and Hades waved at the camera.
"Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?. Hey, did you know that anyone keeping track of the score gets a free field trip to the hospital? They have everything there. Even psychiatric wards for those keeping track of the points."
Everyone laughed.
"Now we're gonna go to one of the best games in the world," Hades announced as he pulled out a magicians' tophat, "'Scenes From A Hat'!"
The performers stood up and split into two halves: Homer and Papyrus, Tracer and Monokuma.
"Alright, before the show, we asked our audience to write out suggestions for little scenes they want to see acted out. The ones that sucked the least, we put them in this lovely hat here. I'm gonna draw out some of them, and let's see how many our performers can do."
(Scenes From A Hat!)
"Oh, here's a good one," Hades said, reading the first slip of paper. "Unlikely superheroes."
Homer stepped forward. "Never fear, for here comes 50% Man! Always gives 50%. Never more, never less."
He walked back, then Tracer took his place and began speaking in an impression of something. "Know that when the world's in danger, you can always count on Captain Brad Pitt Impersonator to save the day!"
Next was Monokuma. "It's the Despair Kid!"
Tracer stepped out once again. "Timid Wonder. The kid whose power is being scared of everything."
Papyrus stepped up next. "THE HERO OF TOMORROW. HE'S...STAN."
(BUZZ!)
"Things your doctor shouldn't ask you during a checkup."
Papyrus walked back onto the stage, bringing Homer with him. "HOW GOOD IS YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY? YOUR FAMILY MIGHT NEED IT SOON."
Hearing that, Homer gasped, then tried to suppress his grin.
Then Monokuma stepped up. "What the heck is that on your face? Seriously, what is that? And what are those two holes?"
(BUZZ!)
"I'm just saying, anyone who doesn't know what a nose is must be an idiot," Monokuma said as he walked back next to Tracer. "Let alone a doctor who doesn't know what a nose is."
"Unless there's a parallel world where noses don't exist," Hades suggested before pulling out the next suggestion. "What lions are really thinking about."
Tracer stepped up and began deliberately messing up her hair. "It's too neat. It has to look wild!"
Papyrus and Homer stepped forward together. "ROUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE?" Papyrus asked while pretending to lick his "paw".
"Like you wouldn't believe," Homer said. "Those meerkats are getting harder to kill."
Both of them walked back, but then Homer hurried back on the stage. "Roar. Roar roar roar roar."
(BUZZ!)
"Things you should never do during a zombie apocalypse."
Monokuma stepped onto the stage. "Ooh, I should leave my doors open. I like the breeze coming into my house."
Then Tracer walked on. She began pretending to shoot what was presumably a zombie. She sighed in frustration. "Bullocks, I'm out of bullets. Oh well, I don't need that many, right?"
(BUZZ!)
"Kinda ironic, coming from a girl who actually uses guns," Hades said.
"I know."
"Prizes you would like to find in your cereal box."
Homer stepped forward. He pretended to open a cereal box, and he gasped. "It's the winning lottery numbers!"
(BUZZ!)
"Mysteries we likely haven't given thought to."
Monokuma walked onto the stage and faced the audience. "Wonder who's controlling Monokuma right now. Are they backstage?"
The audience gave a clear shiver, and so did Hades.
(BUZZ!)
"I really don't want to know," Hades said. "Let that mystery remain unsolved please.
"No promises."
"The single most annoying possible thing in the world."
Tracer had one, so she hurried on the stage, smiling. "BEEDOBEEDOBEEDOBEEDOBEEDOBEEDO!" She was basically mimicking that sound from the Minions of Despicable Me.
"DO YOU NOT LIKE THAT FRANCHISE?" Papyrus asked.
"I do, but imagine hearing a sound like that nonstop."
"She has a point," Monokuma said.
Papyrus took his turn. And when he spoke, it was immediately clear."
"HEY PAPYRUS, I THINK I SHOULD DO ALL MY TYPING IN COMIC 'SANS' FONT."
(*pun drum noises*)
(BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZZ!)
The audience was going ballistic over Papyrus' finisher. He returned to his seat looking almost as ecstatic as them.
"That was your brother, right?" Hades asked.
"YEP."
Monokuma looked over at the skeleton. "You have got to introduce me to him. He sounds like he could teach me a thing or two."
"WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?" Papyrus asked.
"Because being an unfunny being like me would be unBEARable."
Everyone in the studio groaned.
"The skeleton can make a pun and I can't?"
"For what it's worth, 5,000 as compensation?"
The bear rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever."
Hades laughed. "Anyway, our next game is called 'Party Quirks', for all four performers. Papyrus, come up onto the stage. The rest of you, take the envelopes next to your seats and read the card inside it to yourselves. Don't let anyone else see what's on your card, and make sure you're all still listening to me."
Papyrus stood up while the other three grabbed their envelopes and silently began reading the info on their cards.
"So how this game works is that Papyrus is hosting a party and has invited the other three performers. The catch is the three 'guests' are each assigned a different quirk or identity that they must act out. That's what the cards are for."
Monokuma looked at his card. "You're kidding, right?"
"Afraid not. One thing I must clarify is that the three 'guests' have never read those cards before until now, so they're all just finding out who they are. Throughout the party, it's up to Papyrus to deduce who everyone is. Once he has guessed somebody correctly, that person returns to their seat, out of the game. This will continue until either he has guessed everyone, or I grow tired of him throwing out dumb guess after dumb guess. If you three are ready, please line up to the side."
Homer, Tracer, and Monokuma formed a line right next to the stage.
"Excellent. I'll bring you guys in one at a time with the doorbell. Papyrus, you may start the party when you're ready."
(Party Quirks!)
Papyrus was pretending to set down snacks and other party activities. "CHIPS? CHECK. PUNCH? CHECK. VINYL RECORD OF THRILLER? CHECK."
(*ding dong*)
"THEY'RE HERE! YES!" He ran over to the "door" and opened it. Homer, the first guest, was waiting.
"HOMER! BUDDY, WELCOME TO MY PARTY!"
(Homer: A leprechaun who suspect everyone of stealing his pot of gold)
"Thanks for having me," Homer said, using a bad Irish accent while walking on his knees to appear short. "Oh, these are the snacks?"
"THAT OBVIOUS?"
Homer glared at him. "Just let me look at these. I hope these chips aren't hiding anything of MINE in them."
He picked up a 'bowl of chips' and proceeded to dump it on the ground. "Hmm, nothing in there." He glared at Papyrus. "You're really testing me here, but I know someone has it. And if it's you, you're a dead pan."
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."
(*ding dong*)
"Oh? You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."
(*ding dong*)
"UH, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT. ANOTHER GUEST HAS SHOWN UP."
Papyrus opened the "door" for Tracer. "WELCOME!"
(Tracer: A Pokémon video game player who must focus on her current match.)
"Shh! Busy!"
Tracer walked right past Papyrus, miming herself playing on the Nintendo Switch.
"Yeah, that's right," she muttered. "This thing is as good as mine."
Homer popped up behind her. "WHERE IS IT?!"
"Hey! I'm a little busy here!"
"Don't care. Where is it?"
Tracer looked back at her "screen". "Wonderful, they managed to get a critical. Will everyone here please leave me alone?"
(*ding dong*)
"THE FINAL GUEST. HERE WE GO." Papyrus let in the final guest, Monokuma.
"LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I SAY."
(Monokuma: The entire cast of Total Drama Island.)
"Oh, hey," Monokuma said, looking bored (basically, Gwen). "Parties aren't my thing, but I guess I'll sit through it tonight. Be warned, we have more coming in."
"REALLY?"
The bear then hurried back to the door, pretending to run out and back in. "COWABUNGA, DUDES! I'm here to party. (Geoff)
Another run to the door, and this time he came back slowly. "Yeah, let's do this. Oh, who dumped the chips on the floor? More for me, I guess." He crouched down and began "eating" the chips on the floor (obviously Owen).
"You haven't been hiding anything shiny, have you?" Homer asked Monokuma.
"No, nothing. Why would I?"
"Will you all please shut up?" Tracer snapped at the group. She returned to her "game" and said, "Great, type disadvantage."
Monokuma had switched out once again. This time, he was trying to portray Lindsay. "Oh, hi. You remind me of this guy I've seen somewhere."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I INVITED YOU HERE, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?"
"Oh, I get it. You're Sans from Undertale."
Papyrus' jaw dropped, and the audience went ballistic. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME."
"Seriously, I know one of you has what's mine!" Homer exclaimed.
"OH SHUT UP," Papyrus said. "NONE OF US HAVE YOUR POT OF GOLD, YOU STUPID LEPRECHAUN."
(BUZZ!)
"Yes!" Hades exclaimed. "Good job." Homer returned to his seat.
Tracer screamed in frustration. "Nice job everyone. You made me lose. I told you all I had to focus."
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," Papyrus told her. "YOU CAN DO YOUR POKEMON BATTLE LATER."
(BUZZ!)
"Got it!" Hades yelled.
"Finally," Tracer said as she returned to her seat.
This left only Monokuma, who was now acting like Courtney. "Ugh, who dropped all these chips on the floor? You must be very weird to want to live in this pigsty of an apartment."
"AT LEAST I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH BEVERLY HILLS, 90210."
Hades shook his head. "No, that's not it."
Papyrus sighed. "DANG IT."
"Well, while you try and figure it out, I need to think of ways to work my alliance to the bone," Monokuma said (he was now Heather). "Those two idiots will do whatever I say, it's wonderful."
"WAIT A SECOND," Papyrus said. "ARE YOU EVERYONE FROM TOTAL DRAMA?"
(BUZZZZZZZZZ!)
"Excellent work," Hades said. Monokuma and Papyrus shook hands as they returned to their seats.
"NOW, EVERYONE TELL ME THE TRUTH. IS SANS MORE POPULAR THAN ME?"
Hades and the performers all said in unison, "Yes."
"In fact, Sans is getting all the points for this round," Hades said. "And you four will be getting a gift basket."
"Better be a pretty awesome gift basket," Homer grumbled.
"It will be. Anyway, we'll be right back with more Whose Line?, find out who the winner is, right after this! Don't go away!"
(Commercial…)
"Korok seeds. They are amongst the most mysterious creatures in Hyrule. Always kind, always friendly. Unusually, that's all we think of them as. But if you knew the dark reality, that viewpoint would change. Every year, Korok seeds are displaced from their forest homes for varying reasons, ranging from severe weather to the neverending onslaught of the Moblins. That's why the Korok Protection Agency exists. We find losk Koroks and we care for them until they can be returned home safely. We are asking for a small donation of two Rupees a day to help these poor, defenseless creatures. Please, just two Rupees a day. Help us, won't you?"
(Back to the show…)
Homer was now sitting at the desk, while everyone else was on the stage.
"Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?," Hades announced. "Tonight's winner, Homer Simpson!"
Homer raised his fist to the cheering audience.
"Yep. Miraculous, come-from-behind win. So he gets to relax while the rest of us are gonna do a game for you called 'World's Worst'. The way this works is the four of us are going to stand on the world's worst step here (the single step between the stage and the performers' chairs), and we're gonna throw out several examples of the world's worst something. That something could be anything, from restaurants to movie twists. Homer, can you read the card and tell us what topic we're bashing?"
Homer read the card. "You guys have to give examples of the world's worst lawyers."
Tracer began laughing, while Hades did a facepalm. "Seriously?"
"Hey, it's what the card says."
"Whatever. Let's do this."
(World's Worst!)
The first to step forward was Monokuma. "Wait, I was actually supposed to prove my client's innocence?"
Next was Hades. "My client pleads guilty. No, wait! I meant to say innocent. Oh man, I screwed up the whole case! I'm such a loser!"
Tracer raised her finger up, then she strolled over to Homer. "Him. This man right here."
She returned to the step amidst the roaring laughter, and Homer laughed also. "Can't argue with that.
Next was Papyrus, and he put on a serious face. "IT TOOK ME TEN TRIES TO PASS THE BAR EXAM."
Hades stepped forward again. "Our plan for the case is simple. Gather up all the money you can, it has to be a pretty big bribe for us to pull it off."
Monokuma was next. "Oh, don't worry," he said with a faux German accent. "Law and order in my country has to be the same as here in America."
(Author's Note: No offense to all Germans out there, this is merely my way of pointing out no two countries are alike when it comes to the criminal justice system.)
Papyrus had another one. "I HAVE TO SAY THOUGH, THE PLAINTIFF BRINGS UP A TON OF VALID POINTS. I MIGHT END UP DEFENDING THEM INSTEAD."
Tracer had another one. "Daddy, why did you buy me a job as a lawyer for my birthday? I wanted a pink Porsche!"
"You really know how to whine like a teenage girl," Hades said.
"Gee, thanks."
Monokuma stepped up again. He stood there for a couple seconds. Then he walked back, his point made.
Next was Hades. "Hi, we're Pain and Panic. And we want to become lawyers."
"Ouch, those two are gonna be angry when they find out," Tracer said.
"Meh, don't care."
Monokuma had yet another one to add. "Hi, I'm Yasuhiro Hagakure!"
The audience went ballistic over that one. "We're being really brutal, aren't we?" Hades asked, trying not to laugh.
Tracer came back with another example. "It's my job to defend you in this case. Just point me in the direction of the guy I have to punch."
Papyrus had one more. "Hi, I'M YOUR LAWYER. THE NAME'S SANS."
Homer was now laughing hysterically, as were the audience.
Finally, Monokuma had one more. He walked up, strolled over to Hades, and pointed at him. That was the finisher that everyone in the studio laughing uncontrollably. Everyone, that is, except Hades himself. He stood there, unamused.
"It wasn't THAT funny," he griped.
But nobody could hear him. They were all still laughing. So Hades stood there for about a minute until everyone had calmed down.
"Yeah, sure. Make fun of the host. It's not like he has feelings, or that he's a god who can incinerate everyone here."
"Oh, have a little fun," Tracer said. "It's all harmless."
"Yeah, but I'm not."
Hades looked at the audience. "Anyway, that's our show. To end it, we're gonna have these four knuckleheads read the credits as if they're all taking a surfing class. Thanks for watching, and goodnight!"
Homer walked over to the rest of the group, pretending to be a surf instructor. He moved his arms to demonstrate the paddle, while the other three clumsily tried to repeat the action. Then he demonstrated how to stand up on the surfboard, only to trip and fall to the floor, all while exclaiming "D'oh!" upon impact. The other three began laughing at him, and this was the last bit shown before the program shut off.
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D'oh! Need I say more? Great way to celebrate Halloween is this chapter here.
This was definitely an interesting chapter to type up, from beginning to end. Quick summary: everyone went to Open House, Papyrus sang to Hercules himself as a disco king, Homer would make a decent reporter, we now have to decide whether Monokuma or Sans is a better pun artist, Tracer is really focused on Pokémon, and we all now know what lawyers NOT to hire. Stuff like that can ONLY happen on an episode of Whose Line?.
I must give my thanks to an unnamed Guest, FireFlamerx9z, Memeking the Third, and PrincessGumballWatterson777, because they're the ones that suggested the use of Homer Simpson, Papyrus, Tracer, and Monokuma. It seems like an odd group, but I feel I managed to highlight everyone, whether they were working together or doing their own thing.
Memeking the Third gets some extra thanks for the World's Worst "Lawyers" idea, as well as the "Things your doctor shouldn't ask you during a checkup", "Unlikely superheroes", and "Prizes you'd like to find in your cereal box" SFAH suggestions. Fun fact, those three suggestions also came from the real life show. There are some topics from the real show that I would love to use, though how they're interpreted will likely come from me (with a few exceptions).
Also, now that we've had our first playing of 'Song Styles', I have to make a few things clear. You can suggest ANY fictional character to suddenly get beamed onto the show so someone can sing to them, even if they are, for whatever reason, ineligible to be a Whose Line performer. And no, their 'Song Styles' appearance will not affect one's eligibility or ineligibility. For example, Hercules can still be suggested as a performer for a future chapter. This also applies to similar games like 'Duet', which is basically the same game except with two people singing.
It should be obvious, but the bulk of this chapter was done in the past day. The issue was I had trouble searching for a 'Newsflash' idea. So when I heard about Sean Connery's death, I decided to give my own tribute to the guy. I hope it didn't seem out of line, I just wanted to do that little thing. Rest in Peace, dude.
As for next time, while I haven't yet fully decided on the games, I HAVE already decided on the performer. I plan on putting to use an idea I got when I started this story, and let's just say the performers are gonna be a matching set. However, I don't plan on releasing it until I have updated The Ridonculous Race. The current chapter for that is about halfway done, so be on lookout.
All that said, have a safe Halloween night. And remember to read and review, fave and follow, send in ideas for WLIIA (characters, games, topics for games, scenes for games, etc.), and check out my other stories.
See you next time. TheMasterKat out!