"Come on, come on, up you get." Taako keeps his voice soft; it doesn't come naturally. But as he ushers her up from where she was curled up on her ruined office rug, Lucretia's expression is much too fragile for anything else. Her breathing is still erratic and her eyes are bloodshot. Her sling is sliding off her slumped shoulder and Taako reaches out and fixes it as gently as he can, avoiding the bandages he is sure weren't there when he stormed off. She still flinches.
A soft something, familiar and unexpected, clenches tight in his gut. A flare of hot anger surges through him as Taako looks around; her underlings couldn't be bothered to clean the place up before she got here? For gods' sake, her own blood stains the floor still; her painting is still in shambles and her desk is still crumpled before it, evidence of what happened to her just last night. If he cranes his neck Taako can just catch sight of the ashes he turned the elf into on the other side of the room. That same anger chokes him- some cleaning staff Lucretia has.
Then again, given her recent track record, it's entirely possible Lucretia simply refused to tell anyone what a mess her office is.
He has to bite back the questions, the accusations and the- the worry, what the fuck, seriously. Leave it to Lucretia to make him worry about her after being such a colossal asshole for twelve years.
But Lucretia hadn't responded to him shouting her name for at least five minutes before he got up the nerve to touch her and she looks like death warmed over (apologies to the Raven Queen). She definitely shouldn't be out of the healing wing yet and if the clerics let her bully her way out Taako's gonna have to kick some ass.
She's also still very much caught in the throes of a panic attack. Taako is familiar.
"Let's go, bubeleh," he tells her absently, slipping a helping hand under her elbow, mind on the fastest route to her rooms. Where are her rooms even? Doesn't matter- what matters is getting her out of this one. Nothing quite fucks you up like the sight of the place you just almost died.
Lucretia is quiet except for her rapid breathing and she lets him hook an arm around her back for support without complaint. Taako's not even sure she realizes they're moving until they're in the hallway and hobbling vaguely towards where Taako thinks the living quarters are.
"Taako-" Lucretia pushes out of his hold just a little, looking around wildly like she's coming up from underwater into bright sunlight. She blinks quickly, whips her head around and scrubs a hand across her mouth. There's dried blood under her fingernails.
That hadn't been there last night. Taako would know; he'd spent the better part of an hour glaring at her hand and arguing with himself over the merits of holding it while she slept.
Taako opens his mouth, a hundred questions pushing up his throat, and takes one look at her face before snapping his jaws shut again. Her pupils are dilated and it seems like she can't focus on one thing for very long. Her gaze skips over him, lands on the lamps in the hallway, goes to the doors and the exit, then back to him. Her lips are pulled tight against her teeth, like she's holding in a cry.
"Do you know where you are?" Taako keeps his voice clear. Lucretia's eyes dart around for another minute before settling on something just behind his left shoulder. She nods.
"The- Bureau," Lucretia says, and Taako doesn't comment on the fact she has to gasp for air. "Out- outside the living quarters."
"Good, that's great," Taako tells her seriously. "Now for the kicker: do you remember getting here?"
"I- I-" Lucretia ducks her head. She doesn't even try to lie now. It's all in her body, how she slumps and curls in on herself; a sort of shattering, like looking at a broken mirror.
So Taako does the lying for both of them. "That's okay."
She's lost at least fifteen minutes of time. This is very not okay. Gods, when had this happened? When had Lucretia become so broken?
How did this happen right beneath their noses?
You shouldn't have to take care of her after what she did, says a putrid little voice in his head, but Taako just flips it off and focuses on the task at hand.
"We're going back to your bedroom," Taako says, "and you're gonna take a nap, okay? 'Cuz, not to put too fine a point on it, Lucretia, but you're a hot mess right now. Like, not even the good kind of hot either."
"I can't!"
There's something about how she says it that makes Taako pause. Usually he'd puff up at her protests and try to bully her into agreeing with him. But not only is that a terrible idea for a woman he just found in the middle of an unspecified panic attack, but- but there's something weird about how she's looking at him right now. Like Taako is supposed to understand why she can't go take a fucking nap after almost dying .
"Dude, you just had someone try to fucking assassinate you last night. I think you earned a freakin' nap."
"I can't," Lucretia insists again, shaking her head. She's shaking all over like a leaf in the wind. Taako curls his hands into fists and isn't sure if it's from anger or to stave off the urge to reach out and steady her.
Lucretia's always responded better to logical arguments, Taako thinks. Fucking hell.
"Why not?"
"I have- work." Even she seems to realize how lame that sounds, because Lucretia winces and dips her head down at his arched brow. "There's a lot to do, and I can't afford to stop just because of a little setback-"
"No, nope, I draw the line at calling attempted murder a 'little setback,'" he snaps, but his touch is soft when he takes her arm. Taako has to duck his head to find her eyes. She doesn't let the contact last long, breaking their staring after only a second. Still, she doesn't pull away. "Do you really think you're in any condition to be getting work done, Lucretia?"
She feels very, very weak in his hands. Taako remembers how red his palms were with her blood and has to swallow against sudden nausea. He forges ahead. "Look, take a nap and some painkillers and then maybe a shower- 'cuz, dude, you reek, are those robes from like three days ago?- and then you'll be like, twice as productive than you would be right now."
Lucretia hesitates. Taako goes for the kill. "Besides, if you don't do what I tell you after I flew all the way up here, I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands." Her eyes jump to Taako, so Taako lets his smile widen. "You seriously ready for the greatest wizard of this generation to be running wild in your bureau, Madame Director?"
Lucretia's face flickers and something that reminds Taako of warm laughter and nights on the Starblaster settles there for a second. "Seeing as I'm the greatest wizard here," Lucretia says, too softly, but hey, she says it anyway, Taako will take what he can get, "I think I can handle one transmutation punk."
Taako cackles. "I'd like to see you try, old woman. I'd kick your ass."
But he must say the wrong thing, because Lucretia's expression shutters again. Shit. Oh well, back to business. Taako gives her arm a light tug. "Come on, I haven't got all day, lady. Let's go."
She still hasn't stopped trembling, but she also hasn't taken her arm back, and Taako is able to silently coax her to lean on him on their way to her rooms. He doesn't know if she does it willingly or out of necessity; but at least they avoid a fall, so he'll call it a win.
Lucretia's rooms are dim in the morning light. Taako's a bit taken aback at how messy the place is; her laundered robes are stacked up on top of her bureau like Lucretia can't be bothered to put them away, there are papers and personal effects- few and far between as they are- scattered across her desk, her lampshades are dusty and so are the curtains, and her bed looks like it hasn't been turned down in months.
"Did a bomb go off in here," Taako mutters and doesn't allow himself to feel bad for the way Lucretia's shoulders hunch. She stalks a few feet from him, steps wobbling, and halfheartedly straightens some of her papers. "Aw, leave it. Come on, I'll tuck you in."
He's joking, mostly, because there's still hot embers of anger and self-righteousness that flare at the sight of her, but Lucretia looks at him sharply and really meets his eyes for the first time, probably by accident.
Taako can feel his lungs turn to lead because Lucretia looks- she looks-
Bad. Her eyes are overbright, like maybe she'll cry soon and he can count on one hand the times she's cried in front of any of them. Beyond that, she is so very tired; he can see it in the defeat etched in the lines of her face, the sagging bags under her eyes- usually so alert- and the way her back seems to bow forward under some invisible weight. She looks like she could drop to her knees at any moment.
She looks like she could drop dead.
"Bed," Taako croaks. "Come on, bed, let's go."
It's the only thing he can think to do when Taako pulls the covers over Lucretia. She doesn't wiggle further in, doesn't get comfortable, just lies stiff as a board and stares at the ceiling like she's waiting for him to leave. Like she can't bring herself to look at him. Taako tucks her in anyway.
He flicks the curtains closed with a spellslot and turns to leave after a tense second where Lucretia doesn't look at him and he stands with his mouth hanging open trying to think of something witty to say like an absolute idiot.
Taako's still pissed about last night, don't get him wrong; it sucked to realize she could still so easily manipulate him. But Lucretia is small under her blankets and her exhaustion seems to be contagious. He can always be angry tomorrow.
"Thanks," floats weakly to his ears. Taako pauses on the threshold and looks back. There's just a lump under the covers now; Lucretia has turned away from him.
"Sleep tight." Taako has to clear his throat; it's suddenly a little hard to speak. "I'll be around, okay?"
Lucretia doesn't answer. Taako closes the door softly. He contemplates leaning there for a while, just to make sure she does sleep, but ultimately decides against it.
After all, there are some clerics around here who need an ass-kicking.