p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 108%;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"Chapter 16- A Long Time Coming/span/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emIt's a crime you let it happen to me,/embr /emNevermind, I'll let it happen to you…/embr /emOut of mind forget it, there's nothing to lose./em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emForget it, forget it…/embr /emI don't mind, I love it,/embr /emEasy to please…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emNevermind, forget it/embr /emJust a memory…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emPlease let me stay…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"Kadaj stared out the window as they rushed to the hospital, lost in his own thoughts. He absently noted it was starting to rain, that the rain seemed to be a foreshadowing of the things to come. There was so much he didn't know about Zack Fair and it seemed so absurd that he should feel so lost and afraid for someone he truly didn't know./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Hey…we're gonna be there soon and we will see ok?" Leon tried to sound confident and reassuring without making any actual promises or being comforting. Kadaj didn't bother with an answer, partially due to the thick, dry, lump in his throat that seemed determined to suffocate him in his fear./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"A familiar figure was limping down the side of the street Kadaj was looking at and Leon barely had time to pull over before Kadaj had thrown himself from the vehicle, calling Zack's name hoarsely. At first, Leon wasn't sure it was Zack; the person seemed so frail and hopeless. This was emphasized by his black and blue face, bloody lip, and injured arm. There was s flash of light and hope in those eyes before it shuttered out. Leon thought maybe it was best he stay in the car and let them have their moment./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack, what's going on?" Kadaj was standing away from him, as if he were afraid to get too close. Zack was at once glad and mournful of the distance./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Just…it's fine. I'm fine. Go home. Enjoy your family, Kadaj. You don't need me messing up your life. I'll wreck yours just like I do everything else. Go home Kadaj." Zack turned before he fell to his knees, begging the younger man to stay with him and never go. Kadaj didn't need that in his life./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""You ungrateful bastard!" Kadaj had not expected the rage that welled up inside him at Zack's casual dismissal. Zack stopped and looked at him incredulously./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Ungrateful?"/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I cleaned you up, brought you in to my home and gave you nothing but care and a safe place and you think you can just tell me to go home like a lost puppy? Like I don't have a choice or I'm too stupid to TALK to? I'm good enough to feel up in your bedroom but you can't even bear to TALK to me?!" It was a full-on scene now but very few people were willing to stay by in the downpour to watch two grown men yelling at each other./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I have to let you go Kadaj. I will ruin you! I am grateful to you for everything, that's why this has to end! Don't sit there and pretend you don't realize I'm a fucking mess. You can't fix that Kadaj, not with all the food and love in the world. I. Can't. Be. Fixed!" Zack was inches from Kadaj's face, his whole body aching from pain. The anger left Kadaj's face, replaced by something Zack had never seen. A hand gently touched his face and Zack couldn't help but close his eyes and lean into the soft touch./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack, you don't need to be fixed. I don't want to fix you. You don't fix these problems but running away or hiding, Zack. You lean on the people around you and get help. All we are here for is to love you through it." Kadaj dropped his hand and took a step back./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Fuck if I know what I'm doing but I want you, Zack. Mess or not. But you need to figure out what you want. If you want help. I won't sit by and watch you destroy yourself Zack. If you want me, you need to get healthy. If you don't want me, that's alright too. I'll miss you." Kadaj gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and climbed back into Leon's car sopping wet./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; border-top: none; border-bottom: .75pt solid #00000a; border-left: none; border-right: none; line-height: 100%; padding: 0in 0in .01in 0in;"Leon didn't get a chance to say anything before Kadaj burst into tears./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"strongSo I'll stay unforgiven and I'll keep love together…and I'll be yours forever…I'll sleep so close to heaven…/strong/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"The miles to home seemed to pass by Zack in a blur. How Kadaj had even found him, he didn't know but he thought that pushing him away was the right thing. It was best for him. But that look in Kadaj's eyes haunted him. It was a mixture of compassion and empathy maybe even love. His heart constricted and the anxiousness started to creep up his spine again./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack?" Cloud leapt over the couch as Zack opened the door, ignoring the puddles forming on the floor as he and Axel and Namine crushed Zack in an embrace, dragging them all down to the floor./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""You can't do that Zack. I can't lose you too. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Cloud was clinging to Zack like he came back from the dead and even Axel backed up a little to give them room. The twins needed to mend their relationship./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""…I know Cloud…I-I'm sorry too." Zack's heart hurt so much he couldn't even find it in himself to cry, but he kept seeing Kadaj's face, hearing his voice./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I need help Cloud. I just need help." Broad shoulders heaved as Zack finally gave into the tears. Axel and Cloud looked at each other as Namine comforted her brother. They weren't sure what they needed to do but they would do anything to help him./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Ok Zack, whatever you need. We can call places in the morning. Let's get you into a shower huh? Are you hungry?" Cloud helped Zack up and led him to the shower. While he got cleaned up and changed, Cloud talked with his siblings in the kitchen./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I know that I have been a distant, disinterested asshole and I am sorry. I just want to help him but I don't know how." Cloud seemed so lost and ashamed that Axel didn't make a smartass remark./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""We can figure that out Cloud. Maybe a therapist is a good place to start. He might need more help than that, but he might not. If he has an eating disorder, they may want him to see someone…I don't know. Let's just start, ok? Professionals will know how to go one, we just have to get him there." Axel had never really thought about things getting better, let alone going to someone who helped you unlucky your life. Is that how that worked? He would go to a thousand shrinks or witchdoctors if it helped his family though./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Cloud…don't…don't punch me or anything but maybe…maybe you should talk to someone too. Fuck maybe we all should." Axel shrugged. It couldn't possibly make anything worse…could it?/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""…Probably Axel, proba-fucking-ly."/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; border-top: none; border-bottom: .75pt solid #00000a; border-left: none; border-right: none; line-height: 100%; padding: 0in 0in .01in 0in;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"strongPSA -If you or someone you know needs help, please find your local help line and call./strong/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"An: Well, it has been QUITE a long time lovelies! But here is a small update and we shall see where this story takes us! It is close to finished but I feel there is some tragedy in their future!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"To my OG readers/reviewers, I hope you're still there and enjoying this!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"To newbies; REVIEW!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"The opening song is Forget It by Breaking Benjamin and the one liner is also a BB song called Close to Heaven. Enjoy my lovelies!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"-Ulti/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emIt's a crime you let it happen to me,/embr /emNevermind, I'll let it happen to you…/embr /emOut of mind forget it, there's nothing to lose./em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emForget it, forget it…/embr /emI don't mind, I love it,/embr /emEasy to please…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emNevermind, forget it/embr /emJust a memory…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"emPlease let me stay…/em/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"Kadaj stared out the window as they rushed to the hospital, lost in his own thoughts. He absently noted it was starting to rain, that the rain seemed to be a foreshadowing of the things to come. There was so much he didn't know about Zack Fair and it seemed so absurd that he should feel so lost and afraid for someone he truly didn't know./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Hey…we're gonna be there soon and we will see ok?" Leon tried to sound confident and reassuring without making any actual promises or being comforting. Kadaj didn't bother with an answer, partially due to the thick, dry, lump in his throat that seemed determined to suffocate him in his fear./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"A familiar figure was limping down the side of the street Kadaj was looking at and Leon barely had time to pull over before Kadaj had thrown himself from the vehicle, calling Zack's name hoarsely. At first, Leon wasn't sure it was Zack; the person seemed so frail and hopeless. This was emphasized by his black and blue face, bloody lip, and injured arm. There was s flash of light and hope in those eyes before it shuttered out. Leon thought maybe it was best he stay in the car and let them have their moment./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack, what's going on?" Kadaj was standing away from him, as if he were afraid to get too close. Zack was at once glad and mournful of the distance./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Just…it's fine. I'm fine. Go home. Enjoy your family, Kadaj. You don't need me messing up your life. I'll wreck yours just like I do everything else. Go home Kadaj." Zack turned before he fell to his knees, begging the younger man to stay with him and never go. Kadaj didn't need that in his life./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""You ungrateful bastard!" Kadaj had not expected the rage that welled up inside him at Zack's casual dismissal. Zack stopped and looked at him incredulously./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Ungrateful?"/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I cleaned you up, brought you in to my home and gave you nothing but care and a safe place and you think you can just tell me to go home like a lost puppy? Like I don't have a choice or I'm too stupid to TALK to? I'm good enough to feel up in your bedroom but you can't even bear to TALK to me?!" It was a full-on scene now but very few people were willing to stay by in the downpour to watch two grown men yelling at each other./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I have to let you go Kadaj. I will ruin you! I am grateful to you for everything, that's why this has to end! Don't sit there and pretend you don't realize I'm a fucking mess. You can't fix that Kadaj, not with all the food and love in the world. I. Can't. Be. Fixed!" Zack was inches from Kadaj's face, his whole body aching from pain. The anger left Kadaj's face, replaced by something Zack had never seen. A hand gently touched his face and Zack couldn't help but close his eyes and lean into the soft touch./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack, you don't need to be fixed. I don't want to fix you. You don't fix these problems but running away or hiding, Zack. You lean on the people around you and get help. All we are here for is to love you through it." Kadaj dropped his hand and took a step back./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Fuck if I know what I'm doing but I want you, Zack. Mess or not. But you need to figure out what you want. If you want help. I won't sit by and watch you destroy yourself Zack. If you want me, you need to get healthy. If you don't want me, that's alright too. I'll miss you." Kadaj gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and climbed back into Leon's car sopping wet./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; border-top: none; border-bottom: .75pt solid #00000a; border-left: none; border-right: none; line-height: 100%; padding: 0in 0in .01in 0in;"Leon didn't get a chance to say anything before Kadaj burst into tears./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"strongSo I'll stay unforgiven and I'll keep love together…and I'll be yours forever…I'll sleep so close to heaven…/strong/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"The miles to home seemed to pass by Zack in a blur. How Kadaj had even found him, he didn't know but he thought that pushing him away was the right thing. It was best for him. But that look in Kadaj's eyes haunted him. It was a mixture of compassion and empathy maybe even love. His heart constricted and the anxiousness started to creep up his spine again./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Zack?" Cloud leapt over the couch as Zack opened the door, ignoring the puddles forming on the floor as he and Axel and Namine crushed Zack in an embrace, dragging them all down to the floor./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""You can't do that Zack. I can't lose you too. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Cloud was clinging to Zack like he came back from the dead and even Axel backed up a little to give them room. The twins needed to mend their relationship./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""…I know Cloud…I-I'm sorry too." Zack's heart hurt so much he couldn't even find it in himself to cry, but he kept seeing Kadaj's face, hearing his voice./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I need help Cloud. I just need help." Broad shoulders heaved as Zack finally gave into the tears. Axel and Cloud looked at each other as Namine comforted her brother. They weren't sure what they needed to do but they would do anything to help him./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Ok Zack, whatever you need. We can call places in the morning. Let's get you into a shower huh? Are you hungry?" Cloud helped Zack up and led him to the shower. While he got cleaned up and changed, Cloud talked with his siblings in the kitchen./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""I know that I have been a distant, disinterested asshole and I am sorry. I just want to help him but I don't know how." Cloud seemed so lost and ashamed that Axel didn't make a smartass remark./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""We can figure that out Cloud. Maybe a therapist is a good place to start. He might need more help than that, but he might not. If he has an eating disorder, they may want him to see someone…I don't know. Let's just start, ok? Professionals will know how to go one, we just have to get him there." Axel had never really thought about things getting better, let alone going to someone who helped you unlucky your life. Is that how that worked? He would go to a thousand shrinks or witchdoctors if it helped his family though./p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""Cloud…don't…don't punch me or anything but maybe…maybe you should talk to someone too. Fuck maybe we all should." Axel shrugged. It couldn't possibly make anything worse…could it?/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;""…Probably Axel, proba-fucking-ly."/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; border-top: none; border-bottom: .75pt solid #00000a; border-left: none; border-right: none; line-height: 100%; padding: 0in 0in .01in 0in;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"strongPSA -If you or someone you know needs help, please find your local help line and call./strong/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"An: Well, it has been QUITE a long time lovelies! But here is a small update and we shall see where this story takes us! It is close to finished but I feel there is some tragedy in their future!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"To my OG readers/reviewers, I hope you're still there and enjoying this!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"To newbies; REVIEW!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"The opening song is Forget It by Breaking Benjamin and the one liner is also a BB song called Close to Heaven. Enjoy my lovelies!/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"-Ulti/p
p style="margin-bottom: .11in; line-height: 100%;"br /br /p