Merle's hands tremble as he holds Lucretia's face gently between his palms. Her eyes are flat and lifeless. They stare out of her head at the cleric, stare past him, stare into the void. She's dead.

Lucretia is dead.

Her head is heavy, has been heavy for too long. His thoughts are getting too hysterical; Merle breathes deeply through his nose and ignores the iron scent of blood pooling in the temple. Behind him, Taako's screaming stops abruptly and the rage of flames consumes the temple before silence reigns. It is as if his ears have been muffled, as if he is underwater. Merle holds her between his hands as gently as he can and breathes.

Magnus is crying somewhere to his left. He'd killed the woman who'd slit her throat but Merle was too busy casting Revivify to bother watching. The spell hadn't taken; he's not sure what went wrong, if it was more than a minute since she'd bled out or if her soul isn't willing. If it's the former, his Resurrection spell will work, but if it's the latter…

Taako's voice rings in Merle's ears. Where the fuck were you? We have to take some fucking responsibility.

She's been alone for so long. Merle knew she was getting quiet, not answering invitations or talking to anyone or writing letters. And what had he done? What he always did-run off and leave the kids under his care to fend for themselves. He'd taken interest in Lucretia first, hung out with her when none of the others trusted her. He was the first to send her a letter after the Day of Story and Song, the one who set up a surprise birthday party at the Bureau with Avi and Killian and Carey. He's the one who promised himself, alone in his cabin on Davenport's ship, reading a letter of hers that trailed off after only half a page, that he'd protect her. He's the one who asked the others to spare her life in the first place and then he left her to die slowly of a broken heart. Where is the mercy in that? Where is anything but latent cruelty?

Now Merle holds Lucretia's dead body in his hands and prepares Resurrection and watches his family as they fall apart.

Lup and Barry, faces transformed to masks of death, disappear through a portal. The black, inky void swallows them up in seconds. Kravitz's scythe sings as it slices through the air and the last of the Ragged Harmony goes down; his robes flutter as he sprints from the room, probably on the way towards Taako's last known location. Avi and Killian rest on their knees beside Merle, supporting the rest of Lucretia's body as best they can. Carey strokes her fingers over the Director's hair carefully. Avi reaches out and closes Lucretia's eyes with extreme tenderness.

Everything is hazy. His thoughts swim, his vision tunnels. He can only hold onto Lucretia and hope that his new spell takes. He's expended so many spellslots today that Merle feels disconnected from reality, too tired to stop himself from dissociating. He can only hope that whatever Lup and Barry are saying to Lucretia is enough to convince her to let them help her.

Time passes sluggishly, then all at once. Merle breathes in. Blood fills his nose. He breathes out. Lucretia's hair ruffles slightly with his exhale. How long has it been since anyone has held her gently? How long since she's experienced friendly touch outside of a survival scenario? Merle blinks when something wet drips onto the Director's forehead; it takes a second to realize it's water. He lifts his gaze, a herculean task, to Carey's tearful eyes. She sniffles, opens her mouth, and closes it. Killian takes her hand, laces their fingers. Merle has no words, breath stolen from his lungs.

He has to fix this.

It is only when rough hands grip his shoulder that Merle breaks his connection with Carey. He's pulled at roughly, not far enough away to let Lucretia slide off his lap, but enough that his concentration on Resurrection threatens to slip. He's ready to bare his teeth, to snarl-and then he looks up into Taako's wild expression. The defensive spells die on Merle's lips.

Taako, for lack of a better expression, looks like shit. There's blood all over his fancy clothes, most of his tunic is ripped to ribbons, and dirt and gore is smeared in streaks across his face and neck. There's a handprint depicting Lucretia's delicate, thin fingers on his cheek. His hair is stained and matted against the right side of his head; his eyes are so wide Merle can see the white all around his irises. His pupils are pinpoints. He pants like a dog and smells of smoke and ash and burning flesh.

Taako's mouth moves, but Merle can't hear him over the ringing in his ears. It is almost time to release his spell on Lucretia and Barry and Lup aren't back yet. If they can't convince her to leave the afterlife with them-it will be no use. All this, for nothing. What awaits Lucretia in the Raven Queen's realm?

This is their last shot. Merle's fingers shake, responsibility turning his bones to lead.

Taako is still speaking, mouth twisting in a vicious snarl. He shakes Merle's shoulder violently before Kravitz appears behind him. He wraps his arms around the elf and hauls him away; Taako kicks out, catching Merle in the ribs with the heel of his boot. Merle sags over the body in his arms, gasping, and when he rights himself, all at once the volume on the world turns all the way back up.

Taako screams, hoarse and animalistic. Carey sobs beside Merle, the noise tearing from her throat without reproach. Avi is mumbling to Lucretia's closed eyes, stroking the tears that fall on her face away.

"Come on, Director," Merle hears, just under the cacophony as Magnus joins Kravitz in trying to calm Taako. "Just listen to Lup and Barry, okay? All you have to do is come back. All you gotta do-" he chokes. Without looking, Merle untangles one hand from Lucretia and curls his fingers lightly around Avi's wrist. Avi breathes out shakily, wipes more tears from her skin. "Come on, Director. Come on…"

"Bring her back!"

"Taako, stop!"

"Merle's doing the best he-"

"I'll fucking kill you!" Taako's eyes burn into his. Merle swallows and turns back to Lucretia. He begins to murmur ancient words. There is little time left for Lup and Barry to convince her to return; he has to finish the spell before she loses her chance to choose entirely. "I' ll burn your fucking corpse if you don't bring her back, godsdamn you, Merle!"

"That is enough." Magnus's voice booms, rattling the very stone the temple is built on. Merle breathes with it, magic sliding through him. He can just spy the elf being transferred to Magnus's burly arms, his face pressed into Magnus's shoulder. Magnus's face shines, red and wet, and he crushes Taako to him, muttering lowly. Taako thrashes, but his screaming rage is muffled into Magnus's collar. He's falling limp slowly though, his energy flagging. His sobs crack Merle's heart in his chest.

"Please," Merle prays in the only way he's ever known. "Please let this work. Please help us. Help me."

"All you ever have to do is ask," Pan replies.

Pan's whispers in Merle's mind soothe him; he can nearly feel the bark-like skin of his god's palms slipping over his, guiding his spellcraft. Lucretia's hair shifts in a wind that is not present in the temple; her clothes move with it. A shallow cut on her cheekbone seals itself back together. There's commotion behind him but Merle barely pays it any mind. Barry and Lup's voices fill the hall, shouting about the Raven Queen and choices and Lucretia's soul hanging in the balance and still Merle does not turn around. He strokes the last of his friends' tears from Lucretia's cheek and releases Resurrection. Barry's hand lands on Merle's shoulder, ready to provide assistance.

When Lucretia's eyelids flutter and she gasps in a huge breath, Merle knows he will not need it. Her ribs expand against his knees, trembling, before contracting. Relief floods Merle so much when she opens those big eyes that he cannot speak for fear of it pouring out of him. His smile is the first Lucretia sees as she wakes. He hopes she will not fault him when Merle presses her further into his arms and clings to her.

Her shoulders are bony and shake against his. Her hands, however, are as strong as he remembers when they wind around Merle in return and clutch at his back.

"What did I miss?" Lucretia whispers faintly into his ear.

"Nothing." Merle hugs her tighter. He'll have to let her go soon, have to transport her back to the healers on her moon, have to share her with the others. They'll all want their own hugs, their own reassurances. He can feel Barry tugging instantly at his shoulder already, but Merle tunes out the world again and focuses on hugging Lucretia as gently and fiercely as he can. "Absolutely nothing at all. Welcome back, Lucretia."

"Good," she breathes. "I'm sorry it took me so long."